by Anna Sugden
“Get on back, boy,” said the old guy mildly. “Don’t bother the lady. ’Sides, you’re supposed to be on a leash.”
“That’s all right, he’s fine.”
Kayla gave the eager puppy a last pat and continued walking, her head still arguing with itself. Whether or not she took a risk on falling in love again, she could be happy either way. A woman didn’t have to have a man in order to be complete... Any other idea was sexist propaganda.
And there were great things to enjoy, such as puppies and geysers and children. She didn’t need Jackson McGregor, though she suspected he’d learned a lot about satisfying a woman since they were in high school.
Briefly she wondered if Marcy had felt secure in their marriage, but decided it probably wouldn’t have been one of her concerns. There were stories that suggested Marcy had stretched her wedding vows out of shape in more ways than one, which was likely another reason why Jackson didn’t think highly of the opposite sex.
Kayla stretched. Things would be far less complicated if she’d waited for Morgan to take a run. Jackson wouldn’t have followed her and they wouldn’t have kissed.
But a kiss wasn’t that big of a deal unless she turned it into one.
* * *
JACKSON RETURNED TO camp and started a pot of coffee on his Coleman stove. With seven people to feed, including two voracious teens, the stove was getting a workout, along with the one in the RV.
As the coffee perked, he sat and stared at a beetle making its way through the dirt. Running was redundant exercise for a rancher, but he envied Kayla’s discipline to the sport. At the moment he desperately needed an outlet to relax, except his way required a horse, solitude and miles of rolling land. Even swimming laps didn’t replace being out on the range with Thunder.
At least one McGregor was getting to know Alex; Morgan and her brother seemed to be on great relations.
“Need to talk?” Kayla’s voice interrupted his thoughts. “You look as if you’ve got a lot on your mind.”
Her face was a neutral mask, and Jackson figured she’d decided to act as if nothing had happened. He’d be wise to do the same...and forget how enticing she’d felt against him.
“Just wishing I could connect with Alex,” he said softly, not wanting to be overheard.
She hesitated. “Remember, it hasn’t been that long since he learned about you. It would be a big adjustment for anyone, much less a teenager.”
“But I’m his father.”
“That doesn’t guarantee you’ll have anything in common with your children, or that you’ll be able to relate to them.”
As if he didn’t know that already—Morgan was the perfect example. Yet they’d been close once; after the divorce, he’d even wondered if Marcy had felt left out part of the time.
“Has Alex ever gone through a phase where he was angry and wouldn’t communicate?”
Kayla made a face. “His phases are subtle, and whenever Curtis throws himself full tilt into a new romance, both the kids go through grouchy periods. I try to tell Curtis that he needs to be more balanced, but it doesn’t seem to help.”
“Do you and your ex talk often?”
“Often enough. He shows up whenever things go south in his life. I usually go to dinner with him, listen to his woes and send him off. He has a short attention span and it doesn’t take long before he forgets his latest failure and moves on to something new.”
“You have an unusual relationship for a divorced couple, almost as if you still love him.”
She stiffened. “I stopped loving Curtis that way a long time ago. It isn’t that I hate him, but he’s like a puppy, always looking for a new best friend.”
Jackson wanted to look into Kayla’s eyes to gauge her emotions, but she jumped up and poured two cups of coffee.
“Wow, an old stove-top percolator,” she observed, handing one to him. “Who’d have thought they still made them?”
“I’m not sure they do. This one used to belong to my mom and dad.”
Her brow creased as she sat down. “That reminds me, your parents are another issue we haven’t discussed very much.”
“There isn’t much to discuss. Mostly they’re trying to be patient until I’ve gotten to know Alex better.”
Kayla tapped a finger on her cup. “What have they said about all this?”
“That they should have taught me more about birth control in high school, but they’re thrilled to have a second grandchild.”
“Just Morgan and Alex? I thought you had other siblings.”
“There are five of us altogether, including the two cousins that my parents raised.”
“Whoa. Five grown children and only two grandkids?”
Jackson cleared his throat. “The others blame me, saying they got scared off after seeing me become a parent so young. None of them have even gotten married.”
A wry smile played around Kayla’s mouth. “There may be more to that excuse, no matter what they say.”
“Maybe they just haven’t met the right people yet,” he suggested.
“I can’t believe you’re throwing out the true-love card.”
Jackson ignored the red herring. “Do you think Alex will agree to meet my folks?”
“You want me to be honest?”
“Yes,” he told her, his muscles clenching.
“I think you’re the only person he has trouble with.” She stopped and seemed to be going through a mental argument. “Just...just stop trying so hard. Relax and let things happen naturally.”
Jackson sighed. Like it or lump it, she was right. He’d been pushing Alex, even when he didn’t think that was what he’d been doing.
Kayla sipped her coffee and gagged. “Yikes. I didn’t know anyone could make coffee so strong. Is this how cowboys make it?”
“It’s camp coffee.”
“Well, it’s too much for me.” She pushed her cup aside and stood. “I need a shower. See you later.”
Watching her walk to her tent was a queer sort of torture, but Jackson kept his gaze fixed on her anyway. He breathed easier when she’d collected fresh clothes and left for the facilities, though he was grateful he was still wearing sweatpants rather than his more close-fitting Levi’s.
Maybe he should take a shower, too...a cold one.
* * *
MORGAN BURROWED DEEPER into her sleeping bag. Just for today, she wouldn’t get up and run. After they’d looked at the stars with DeeDee, she and Alex had texted each other for hours. Now her phone was dead, but that was okay. Elizabeth would let her charge it in the RV.
Sheesh, she didn’t know why her dad didn’t want to camp with an RV or trailer or something. It made everything easier.
She hadn’t been sure she’d get along with a geek like Alex. He didn’t ride horses, had never set foot on a ranch and couldn’t rope a cow if his life depended on it. But it was neat that he wasn’t embarrassed about not being able to do that stuff, even when she called him a nerd. In a way, he fit his life better than she fit hers.
“Are you awake, Morgan?” DeeDee whispered.
“No,” she mumbled.
“Maybe you could text me sometimes, and not just Alex.”
“Sure, now let me sleep.”
“Okay, but just so you know, Grandma is up and she’s making chocolate-chip pancakes for breakfast.”
Mmm. Morgan practically drooled. The last time she and Dad had gone camping, he’d made oatmeal every morning that tasted worse than glue.
“DeeDee?” she said.
“Yeah.”
“Wake me up when the pancakes are ready, okay?”
“Uh-huh.”
Morgan bunched her pillow up and shoved it harder under her cheek. DeeDee was a pest at times, but it was almost as if she was becoming Morgan’s little sister, too. That was cool.
And after all, it wasn’t Alex’s fault that her father had finally gotten the son he wanted. He probably would have been happier if she’d been a boy; he’d even given her a boy’
s name. Not that she disliked being called Morgan, but it reminded her that she was a disappointment in almost every way.
CHAPTER TEN
KAYLA FELT AN odd regret as they broke camp—in a way, she was sorry they were leaving.
The ten days they’d spent in the national park had been a mixed bag of fun and stress, particularly after Jackson’s kiss. Drat him anyway. He’d reminded her body of needs that went beyond food and sleep. Since then she had remained determinedly casual toward him, hoping no one would realize something had happened.
Yet other aspects of the trip had been wonderful.
Yellowstone was spectacular, and sharing it with her kids and grandparents had made it even more special. Meals and activities had held a warmth that had been hard to find in the frantic pace of life in the city.
Once they’d packed everything and tidied the campsite, Kayla automatically climbed into the Suburban, knowing Alex, DeeDee and Morgan wanted to ride in the RV again. At least the trip home wouldn’t take as long since they wouldn’t be sightseeing along the way. Well, probably. A ghost of a smile lifted her mouth... Her grandparents knew every historical marker, local museum and viewpoint in Montana and Wyoming, and wanted to share all of them with their great-grandchildren.
Jackson got into the Chevy and gripped the steering wheel so tight the skin went white over his knuckles. “It isn’t enough to have a daughter who avoids my company,” he muttered. “Now I have a son who feels the same way.”
Your ex-girlfriend isn’t crazy about riding with you, either, Kayla restrained herself from saying.
With a scowl on his face, Jackson started the SUV and followed the Garrisons out of the campground.
“Hey, they’re kids,” Kayla said finally. “They’ve got a table and games in the RV, along with a built-in Blu-ray player and television. Nobody could compete with that.”
“I suppose, but we went on this trip and nothing got better with either one of them,” he grumbled.
Kayla frowned. “Are you giving up?”
“Hell, no. I’d never give up on my kids.”
“Okay, then. Don’t talk as if Yellowstone was a failure. Alex has had ten days to get more familiar with you. As for Morgan, the way she looks at you sometimes, when you’re not watching... It’s as if she wants something, and is sad or scared, though I don’t know what—”
“I’ve never hit her,” he broke in, sounding horrified. “I wouldn’t dream of hurting my daughter.”
“Not that,” Kayla quickly assured. “It’s more as if she’s uncertain. I’ve wondered if... I mean, she’s gone from being an only child to suddenly having a sibling her own age. That’s quite an adjustment.”
“If her behavior started with finding out about Alex, then that might be the reason. But this has been going on for over a year. Has she said anything that might explain why she’s acting out?”
Kayla could tell how much Jackson hated asking. It was clear he desperately loved his daughter, and equally clear he didn’t have a clue what was going on with her.
It had been a surprise when Morgan had asked if they could go running together, but Kayla hadn’t minded. The teen turned out to be eager and cheerful so long as they were alone together. When she was near her father, however, she seemed both angry and sad. In fact, Kayla had gotten the impression that Morgan felt as if she was a nuisance.
“It’s obvious you love Morgan,” Kayla said cautiously, “but I get the strangest sense that she feels unwanted. Has she ever—”
“Are you insane?” Jackson burst out indignantly. “My daughter knows how much I love her. You just said it was obvious.”
“It’s obvious to me, not necessarily to her, and I don’t think this has anything to do with her mother. Anyway, there’s a difference between knowing someone loves you and thinking you aren’t wanted, or are at least inconvenient.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
Kayla mentally counted to ten to keep from losing her temper. “You asked my opinion and I gave it to you.”
“Well, I don’t agree, so let’s drop it.”
“Fine.”
But Kayla had a sinking feeling she wasn’t wrong. She’d spent a fair amount of time with Morgan over the past week and a half. It was impractical to talk much while running, but they’d chatted when they’d gone to the showers, done dishes together or happened to be hiking next to each other.
Once in a while the teenager would say something that sounded eerily familiar, echoing shades of Kayla’s own childhood. Carolyn had often called her daughter a burden. Sometimes it had been the booze talking—in that respect, Morgan’s situation wasn’t the same—but the feelings seemed similar.
Just because Kayla was certain Jackson loved his daughter didn’t mean Morgan felt it.
Kayla turned her head and watched the passing scenery. She’d abandoned her original idea of leaving for Seattle after the camping trip. DeeDee and Alex still hoped their two best friends could come to Schuyler for a few days, and she was going to call Sandy’s and Keri’s parents to discuss it. While Kayla had doubts about being around Jackson for extended periods, perhaps the time would be useful for thinking about making some changes in their lives.
After the divorce, she’d kept the home she had chosen with Curtis, thinking it would be easier for the children to adjust. But if there was one thing seeing Jackson again had accomplished, it was making her recognize they might be stuck in a rut. Buying a new house could help them push forward with their lives.
“What are you thinking about so seriously?” Jackson asked.
“Hmm?”
“You appear to be weighing the fate of the world.”
She glanced at him; he seemed to have forgotten his ire. “Hardly. I was thinking about real estate. We’re still in the same house where we lived with Curtis. I’m considering looking for a new one that won’t have so many complicated memories.”
“How would Alex and DeeDee feel about that?”
Kayla made a face. “Opposed, I’m sure. DeeDee has always lived there and Alex barely remembers any other home. But it could teach them that change isn’t always bad.”
“Is it hard to keep up a house without a husband?”
“Not in my case. Curtis didn’t do yard work or repairs, and I was usually the one who called in a professional service.”
“Oh.”
“Did you think it was a case of the poor little divorcée trying to roof the house in the rain by herself?”
Jackson snorted. “I wish you wouldn’t say such ridiculous things. I’ve known several women who had trouble managing after they were left alone. And with kids, it’s even harder. I’m not saying it wouldn’t be tough on a guy, as well.”
Kayla decided to give him a break. “Okay, some single moms have trouble getting by, but that isn’t synonymous with the condition. I just get tired of the assumptions.”
* * *
“ME, TOO.” JACKSON SHUDDERED. “People seem to think a divorced guy lets the housework go down the tubes and his kids eat nothing but sugary cereal and pizza.” More than one woman had decided he needed help being a father...along with helping to spend his trust fund. “I headed off the marriage headhunters by hiring a housekeeper.”
“Marriage headhunters?”
“That’s how they came off to me. It took a while for them to accept that I’m not sticking my head in the noose again.”
“That’s sad.”
“Sad because I’m not willing to get married again?” He snorted. “As I recall, you feel the same way.”
Kayla took a swig from her water bottle. “I have my reasons, but that doesn’t mean I’ve generally lost faith in marriage or relationships.”
Hmm. Though she’d mentioned being reluctant to fall in love, she really hadn’t explained why. “What reasons?” he asked.
“I don’t seem to be good at picking the right guy, and I’m not...” She let out a heavy breath. “Never mind. Anyway, you hired a housekeeper, and my company is quite
profitable, so I can pay for any work needed on my house.”
Jackson’s gut churned. Clearly Kayla didn’t have money problems—her car was pricey, she wore quality clothing, and while the kids weren’t spoiled, they obviously enjoyed the advantages of a comfortable lifestyle. Hell, maybe he wanted to believe she was struggling because it would give him something to contribute to Alex’s life. He didn’t seem to be needed for anything, financial or otherwise.
“Even though you’re doing well, I still want to do some things for Alex.”
“And as I’ve told you more than once, we don’t need money.”
He chose his words carefully. “This isn’t a question of need. An honorable man takes care of his children.”
“It’s...” She bit her lip.
“What?”
“Okay, I concede your desire to act honorably. Some men don’t have the same compulsion.”
“Thank you.”
Although he was focused on the road, Jackson was well aware of Kayla’s movements and facial expressions. Now she squared her shoulders. “The thing is, I don’t want Alex to be spoiled. The sense of entitlement so many people have is appalling. I want my kids be grateful for the good things and work for goals that matter.”
“I want the same for Morgan.”
“Then, don’t expect money to be spent on things Alex doesn’t need, or that I’ll increase his allowance or hand him his own car keys when he turns sixteen. If you have to send money, it can go into his education account, though I still want him to have a job during college. I don’t want to sound like a broken record about it, but we value what we earn.”
Jackson opened his mouth, only to close it. Surely Kayla hadn’t meant to prod him in a sore spot. He owned a fine ranch because Great-Uncle Mitch had given him the land, which he’d since expanded using income from his trust fund. But for the first five years he’d worked as a regular ranch hand, living on a ranch hand’s salary. While Jackson hadn’t minded, Marcy had hated it, along with the tiny house that had come with the job.
And for some reason, he wished Kayla knew so she wouldn’t see him as someone who’d gotten everything just handed to him.