Witch is When The Penny Dropped (A Witch P.I. Mystery Book 6)

by Abbott, Adele

  “Yes.”

  “Okay then. Get going.”

  Poor Mr Ivers. He hadn’t been kidding about the water. Everything was soaked. There wasn’t much I could do about the furniture, but maybe I could help with the only things he really cared about. I found his journals on the table in the kitchen. Who knew he had so many? I carried the sodden books out into the corridor, and laid them side by side. There were fifteen in total. I could hear footsteps in the distance, so I knew I wouldn’t have much time. I cast the ‘take it back’ spell—one of the first spells I ever learned.

  The maintenance man, Charlie Marley, appeared with Mr Ivers in tow.

  “Make way!” He hurried past me into the flat.

  Mr Ivers stared at the journals with wide eyes. “How?”

  I managed to get them out before they got too wet.” I lied.

  “But they were saturated. I saw them. They were ruined.”

  “Doesn’t look like it does it?” I opened up the one closest to me. “See, dry as a bone. You must have panicked.”

  His expression was a curious blend of confusion and delight.

  “Oh, Jill—I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to thank you.”

  You could start by never talking to me ever again. What? It’s not like I actually said it out loud.

  ***

  Before I went into the office, I decided to make a call to Love Spell. I was keen to report back, but even more keen to arrange a second date with Ryan.

  “Is that Hilary?”

  “No, it’s Milly.”

  “It’s Jill Gooder.”

  “Morning, Jill.”

  “I’m calling about my date with Ryan.”

  “Actually I just came off the phone with him.”

  Wow! He was even keener than I was. This was a very good sign.

  “Did he say when he wanted to meet up again?”

  “Actually, he said he didn’t.”

  “Didn’t what?”

  “Want to meet up with you again. He said you weren’t a match.”

  “Are you sure? I thought the date went well.”

  “Not from his point of view. He actually said—err—it doesn’t matter.”

  “Go on. Tell me.”

  “He said it was the worst date he’d ever had.”

  I was so stunned I ended the call right there. How had I got it so wrong? I thought we’d really hit it off. He hadn’t done or said anything to make me think we weren’t compatible. Was I really so delusional? Ten minutes later, when I’d composed myself, I called back.

  “Milly, it’s Jill again. Sorry about that. I had to take another call. Look, I have to say I’m surprised by Ryan’s reaction. I thought the evening had gone well. Anyway, it does make me wonder if there might be something untoward going on. I’ll stay on it and let you know if I find anything.”

  ***

  “You have to do something about that noise,” Mrs V said, as soon as I arrived at the office.

  “What is it?” It sounded like some kind of machine, and it was coming from next door.

  “I’ve no idea. It started about twenty minutes ago. I can hardly hear myself think. How am I meant to write my book or knit?”

  “Or do any work?”

  “Exactly. It’s impossible. You’ll have to go around there and talk to them.”

  “I will, but there’s something I need to attend to in my office first.”

  “You mean that stupid cat.”

  “If I don’t feed him, my life won’t be worth living.”

  “Please hurry up. I can feel one of my migraines coming on.”

  Once inside my office, I started towards the cupboard where I kept the cat food.

  “Never mind about that!” Winky screamed at me.

  This had to be some kind of weird dream. That could be the only explanation for Winky telling me not to bother with his food.

  “You have to do something about that noise. How am I supposed to finish off ‘Bruce’ with all that racket going on?”

  This was probably the first time Mrs V and Winky had ever seen eye to eye. In Winky’s case, just the one eye obviously.

  “How am I meant to write,” he said while holding his head. “Your five per cent is at stake here.”

  “It’s ten.”

  “What is?”

  “My cut. We agreed ten.”

  “Are you sure?”

  I pulled out the pocket recorder and hit play: ‘Ten or I get the old bag lady to do it. Okay, ten it is’.

  I’m no mug. I left nothing to chance where Winky was concerned.

  He shrugged. “Must have slipped my mind. All the more reason to go round there and put a stop to that noise.”

  The noise was coming from an office in the same building as ours. It had previously belonged to a company which specialised in the importation of pogo sticks. They’d been bounced out of there by Gordon Armitage to make way for his law empire. I knocked on the door. There was no reply. I wasn’t sure if that meant there was no one home or if they simply hadn’t heard me because of the infernal noise coming from inside. After two more attempts, I tried the door—it was open.

  Inside the room was a giant machine which looked like an industrial printing press. Standing next to it was a young woman wearing huge ear defenders. She was singing something, but I couldn’t make out what.

  “Hello!” I yelled at the top of my voice.

  No response.

  “Hi, there!”

  Still nothing.

  I walked over to the machine. Once I was standing in her line of sight, I waved my hands around.

  “Hi.” She mouthed the word.

  “Can you switch this thing off?” I yelled.

  She made a gesture which indicated I should wait. Moments later, she hit a big red button and the machine ground slowly to a halt.

  “Sorry, I couldn’t hear you,” the young woman said. She’d taken off the ear defenders which were now looped around her neck. “What did you say?”

  “I asked you to turn this off.”

  She smiled. “Oh, right. Sorry.”

  “I’m Jill Gooder. I have the office next door. We can’t hear ourselves think in there.”

  “I’m not surprised. I told him this was a stupid place to put Bertha.”

  “Who’s Bertha?”

  “That’s what I call this old gal.”

  “Who decided to put it here?” As if I didn’t know.

  “Mr Armitage.”

  “Gordon?”

  “I’m not sure. I never know which one of them is which.”

  “Handkerchief in his breast pocket?”

  “Yeah that’s the guy,” she said. “I don’t trust a man with a handkerchief in his pocket.”

  “Really? Me neither. Why did he insist on putting Bertha here?”

  “No idea. It took an army of men to move her here over the weekend. We used to be in the basement which was a much better spot. Look, I’m sorry about the noise, but there’s not much I can do about it. I don’t like it up here, but I’m the only person in the office who knows how to use this monster.”

  “That’s okay. I’ll take it up with your bosses.”

  I’d had an idea.

  I went outside, and made my way around to the alleyway which ran between my building and the one behind it. I knew which window I needed, but there was no convenient fire escape to get me up there. Grandma’s words came back to my mind—‘it’s all about spell selection’. The roads at either end of the alleyway were busy, and the alley itself was a popular thoroughfare. I didn’t have the luxury of time, so I’d have to resort to the ‘jump’ spell. First, I put in a call to Mrs V, and told her that I needed her to get the operator out of the room just long enough for me to get in and ‘work my magic’.

  I made the call.

  “Mrs V?”

  “Hello?”

  I’d forgotten to take into account that Mrs V was a bit deaf at the best of times, and even more so now she had the noise of the printi
ng press to contend with.

  “Mrs V! Can you hear me?”

  “No need to shout, dear.”

  Give me strength.

  It took me a while, but in the end I brought her up to speed.

  “I need you to get around there now!” I shouted.

  “Do you want me to go next door now?”

  “Yes!”

  “Pardon?”

  “Yes!”

  “I’m on my way.”

  I checked the alleyway—it was clear. I’d only have one chance to get this right.

  I cast the ‘jump’ spell and leapt towards the building behind mine. I judged it just right. From there I bounced back and forth until I landed on the window ledge outside the room with the printing press in it. The glass in the window was frosted, but I could see a shape moving around inside. Moments later, the shape disappeared. Mrs V had done her part—now I had to do mine. The window was partially open—presumably because of the large amount of heat generated by the machine. I pulled it open and climbed inside. I could see two figures out on the landing. Mrs V was no doubt confusing the operator with some story or other. I unplugged the machine, cast the ‘power’ spell and then lifted it, and carried it to the opposite wall. Then I cast the ‘invisible’ spell and made myself disappear—just in the nick of time.

  The operator stared at the wall where the machine had once been, and then at the machine which was now on the opposite wall. Then for several moments, she glanced back and forth between the two—desperately trying to work out what had happened.

  Still looking confused, she picked up the landline, and made a call.

  “Mr Armitage. It’s Belinda. Yes, that’s right: ‘the printing woman’. There’s something funny going on up here. The machine has moved. Of course I’m sure. No, I haven’t had a drink. Can you come and take a look please?”

  All the time she was talking, she had her back to me. I took the opportunity to pick the machine up again and move it to the outer wall. When she ended her call and turned around, she looked horrified.

  “What’s all this about?” Armitage said when he burst through the door.

  “It’s moved again,” she said without taking her eyes off the printing press.

  It was Armitage’s turn to look confused.

  “It was over there.” He pointed to the first wall. “Did you move it?”

  “How could I have moved it? It was there, and then there and now here.”

  “The machine can’t have moved itself.”

  “It just did.”

  “Well, never mind. It’s perfectly all right there.”

  “I’m not working in here.” The operator started for the door. “This room is haunted.”

  “You can’t leave.”

  “Watch me.”

  “But—you’re the only one who knows how to operate this beast.”

  “Tough. I’m off down the job centre.”

  “Wait! I’ll have it moved back to the basement.”

  “I’m not using it until you do.”

  “I’ll get it done tonight.”

  Yes! Result!

  Chapter 12

  Mrs V was all smiles when I got back to the office.

  “How did you manage that?” she asked.

  “I asked Gordon Armitage nicely.”

  “I know that’s not true. That horrible man would never do anything just because you asked him to. Whatever you did, thank you.”

  Winky was hard at work on his manuscript—no word of thanks from him, but what had I expected?

  “You might be getting a call later from a Wayne Starr,” he said, without looking up.

  “Another publisher?”

  “Nah. This guy wants to talk movie rights.”

  “I don’t know anything about negotiating movie deals.”

  “You don’t know anything about being a P.I., but you always seem to bluff your way through.”

  Cheek of the cat.

  “Same fifteen per cent cut?” I said.

  “It’s ten.”

  “Oh, yeah. Of course.”

  It was worth a try.

  An hour later, when Winky had decided to take a nap and allow me access to my computer, I was going over the Peel murder and the Love Spell cases.

  Just then, the door to my office flew open.

  “You can’t go in there!” Mrs V shouted.

  “Just watch me.” Alicia slammed the door closed behind her.

  “Nice of you to drop in,” I said.

  “Cut the smartass, Gooder.”

  “I take it this is not a social call. On your way to do some lawyering?”

  “See. That’s what I mean. You just can’t control that mouth of yours can you?”

  Winky was awake now, and he began to hiss at the intruder.

  “What is that thing?” Alicia pulled a face. “What did you do to its eye?”

  Winky hissed even louder.

  “That’s Winky. He knows a rat when he smells one.”

  “I’ve tried the nice approach with you,” she said. “Now I’m warning you. Call off your minions.”

  The nice approach presumably being the time she poisoned me.

  “I have no idea what you are talking about.”

  “I’m not an idiot. I know what you and Daisy Flowers are up to.”

  Alicia was either braver than I’d thought or way stupider. Calling Daze by her real name was not a good idea.

  “Those idiots you have tailing me couldn’t be more obvious if they were wearing clown paint and big clown shoes.”

  “Is that all you came here to say?”

  “No. I thought it only fair to warn you that if you insist on pursuing this pointless investigation then there’ll be consequences.”

  “Is that a threat?” I laughed. “Bring it on. Do your worst.”

  I really should learn to keep my big mouth shut.

  “Your actions may have dire consequences for others.”

  “Others? What others?”

  “I believe you know Raven.”

  “Where is he? What have you done to him?”

  “He’s okay.” She glared at me for the longest moment. “For now at least.”

  “If you lay a hand on him—”

  “You’ll what? Don’t make threats you can’t back up. Do you honestly think you’d be a match for those with real powers?”

  “Who are ‘those’ exactly? What do you know about TDO?”

  “I’ve said what I came here to say. Just be careful—I’d hate to see you get hurt.” Her smile was even scarier than her angry face.

  “Well thank you for calling. If you ask Mrs V politely on the way out, I’m sure she’ll set you up with a nice scarf.”

  “Who was that horrible person?” Mrs V asked after Alicia had left.

  “Just someone I had coffee with once.”

  “What did you do to upset her? She was ghastly—a right little witch.”

  I wasn’t sure if I should let Drake know what Alicia had said, but in the end decided it would serve no purpose, and would cause him even more worry. Instead I called Daze who was busy in the latest of her ‘cover’ jobs—dog walker.

  “I can barely hear you,” I said.

  “Sorry, Jill. I have you on earphones. I need both hands to keep hold of this lot.”

  “How many dogs are you walking?”

  “Seven. It should have been eight, but the Shih Tzu had the runs. It’s not as if I even like dogs. What did Alicia have to say?”

  I brought Daze up to speed as best I could—given all the barking.

  “I’m not happy that she spotted her shadows so easily,” Daze said. “I’ll have to kick someone’s ass. I’ll see about getting some new people assigned to her. I might even pull Blaze off what he’s doing and get him onto it.”

  “What happened to the werewolf you were trailing? It was a full moon last night wasn’t it?”

  “Total disaster. He gave us the slip—again. Goodness knows what havoc he might have cau
sed last night—I’m still waiting for the reports to come in. Stop that!” She shouted at the dogs. “Sorry, Jill, I’ll have to go—we’re almost at the park. I’ll never be able to keep hold of them, and talk to you, once we’re in there.”

  “Okay.”

  “One last thing though, Jill. You really need to find Raven. I fear for his safety.”

  “I’ll do my best. Bye.”

  ***

  After my encounter with Alicia I needed to get out of the office for a while. Not that anyone would notice my absence. Mrs V and Winky were both too engrossed in their respective literary endeavours.

  I’d really enjoyed the coffee I had at The Coffee Triangle, so thought I’d pay it another visit. On the back of the loyalty card, instead of pictures of coffee cups, there were little images of the instruments—a nice touch, I thought.

  It hadn’t taken long for someone to take over the premises which had, until recently, been Rod’s Rods. There were two builders’ vans parked on the pavement outside, and scaffolding covering the front of the building. I pressed my nose against the window to try and see what was going on inside.

  “Nosey, aren’t you?” Grandma appeared at the door of the shop. She was wearing a yellow hard hat.

  “Nice hat.”

  She gave me ‘that’ look.

  “Is this your place now?” I said.

  “We’re going to knock through from Ever A Wool Moment.”

  “Business must be booming.”

  “It is, but that’s not the reason for the expansion. I’m going to open a small tea room, so the punters can have a drink while they chat and knit.”

  “It was very fortunate that the shop next door became vacant.”

  “It was, wasn’t it? The poor man seemed to have a run of bad luck.”

  She’d been responsible—I was sure of it. The flood, rats and power cuts—it had to have been her doing.

  “Anyway,” she said. “Apart from sticking your nose into my business, what are you doing? Haven’t you got any cases you should be working on?”

  “As it happens, I’m working on two cases right now. I was on my way to that new coffee shop around the corner. Have you seen it?”