Witch is When The Penny Dropped (A Witch P.I. Mystery Book 6)

by Abbott, Adele

  Mrs V popped her head in the door and said, “That friend of yours is here, Jill.”

  “Friend?” Like I had that many.

  “The one from your school days. I mentioned she called the other day. Is it convenient?”

  Madeline Lane, or Mad Lane as everyone used to know her, was the original wild child. It was strange that we’d been friends because I’d been a quiet, reserved child. No one could accuse Mad of that. And the clothes she wore: skirts barely longer than a belt, and tops that showed way too much cleavage. Mrs V was hiding it well, but would no doubt have something to say about her appearance after Mad left.

  “Show her in.”

  “Jill.” Mad’s voice was the same, but it was the only thing that was.

  “Mad?”

  “It’s Madeline now. I dropped the nickname.”

  “Madeline. You—err—you look—”

  “You look great, Jill. You’ve hardly changed at all.”

  I couldn’t say the same for her. Gone were the racy, outrageous clothes. In their place was a woollen two piece. Her grey blouse was buttoned up to the neck; her skirt was several inches below the knee. And her wild hair was in a tight bun.

  “Sit down.” I hoped I didn’t sound as stunned as I felt. “It’s good to see you again.”

  “You too.” She glanced around the room. “Is this your dad’s old place?”

  “Yeah. I took over the family business after he died.”

  “I was sorry to hear about your mum and dad. They were nice people.”

  Mad—err—Madeline had spent many an hour at my house. Mum and Dad had always welcomed her, even if they hadn’t approved of the way she dressed. They probably figured I didn’t have many friends, so they daren’t risk chasing any of them away.

  “When did you come back to Washbridge?”

  “A couple of weeks ago. It hasn’t changed very much.”

  “You have.”

  “Yeah well. It was time I grew up and put all of the wildness behind me.”

  “So are you back for good? Have you got a job? Where are you living?”

  “Looks like I might be back to stay. I have a small flat over by Broom’s Park—as far away from my folks as I could get.”

  She smiled, but I thought she probably meant it. She hadn’t had the best of relationships with her parents.

  “I’ve got a job at the library.”

  “A librarian?” That explained the outfit, but not the total transformation.

  “Surprised?”

  “A little. I have to be honest; I didn’t have you down as a librarian.”

  “Neither did I. But here I am. Does Kathy still live around here?”

  “Yeah. Her and Peter have two kids now.”

  “What about you? Are you married?”

  “Me? No. Still free and single. What about you?”

  She hesitated. “I’m single now too.”

  I thought she was going to say more, but she seemed to think better of it.

  “We’ll have to go out some time,” I said.

  “Yeah. I’d like that.”

  What a very nice young lady,” Mrs V said after Madeline had left.

  “Yeah. She’s changed so much. I’m not sure I’d have recognised her if I’d met her in the street.”

  Winky was still asleep—he hadn’t stirred even while Madeline was in the office—writing obviously took its toll. I thought back to how Madeline used to be, and how much she’d changed. As a kid, she’d been a bit weird—that’s probably why we hit it off. If I remembered correctly, she’d had imaginary friends she used to talk to. But then, everyone has their little eccentricities, I guess—except me, obviously.

  ***

  The manager at Kaleidoscope left the restaurant on foot at a quarter to eleven. I’d been watching from the store across the road for the last thirty minutes. He looked to be wearing the same suit as he’d worn the last time I’d seen him. I crossed the road and tucked in about twenty metres behind him. He stopped at a small newsagent, picked up a bar of chocolate, and then carried on. Judging by the way the buttons on his jacket were straining, he could have done without the calories.

  As he passed the launderette where Daze had once worked, he took a left. I held back to be sure he didn’t double back, and then I peeped around the corner of the building. I did so just in time to see him go through a door which appeared to be the entrance to the offices directly above the launderette. I hurried down the alley and tried the door. It was locked. There was no sign to indicate who the office belonged to, and no bell to ring. I hurried back up the alley, and into the launderette.

  “Excuse me,” I said to the woman who was sitting on a stool in the corner, reading a book. “Do you know if there’s another way into the offices above your shop? I’ve managed to lock myself out.”

  “There’s a fire escape around the other side of the building. I imagine that would get you up there.”

  “Would you mind letting me go through to it?”

  She gave me the once over, and must have decided I looked harmless enough. “Come with me.”

  The steel fire escape had seen better days, and made one heck of a row with every step I took. I might have been better using the ‘levitation’ spell, but that would have taken some explaining to the woman who was still standing on the ground below me—watching my every step.

  “I’m okay now,” I said, as loud as I dared.

  “Okay dear.”

  Once she’d disappeared back inside I made my way to first floor level. I didn’t bother trying the door—I was pretty sure it would be locked too. Instead, I edged along the platform, and leaned forward so I could see inside. Standing at the far side of the room with his back to me, was the man from Kaleidoscope. He was obviously talking to someone seated behind the desk, but my view of the other man was obscured.

  Suddenly the voices inside became raised. I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but it was obvious they were arguing. Just then the man behind the desk stood up, and banged his fist down. I could see him clearly now.

  I pulled back from the window, and hurried back down the fire escape—I’d seen all I needed to see.

  I spoke to Hilary at Love Spell, and arranged to meet with all of the girls at Cuppy C that evening.

  ***

  My phone rang. It was Kathy.

  “I’m going to strangle that woman,” she yelled.

  “Who?”

  “Your grandmother!”

  Quelle surprise! I’d wondered how long the honeymoon would last. It sounded as though it was well and truly over now.

  “What has she done?”

  “She must think I’m some kind of super woman. Did you know she’s opening a tea room next door to Ever?”

  “I had heard something about it.”

  “Well guess who she expects to oversee the building work?”

  It was a rhetorical question, I was sure.

  “Muggins here—that’s who. And not just that. I’m also supposed to be overseeing the Everlasting Wool promotion, and handling the queries which come from the web site.”

  “That does sound like a lot for one person.”

  “You’re not kidding. How am I supposed to do all that? I’m going to ask her if she wants me to stick a broom up my—”

  “I get the picture. I did warn you.”

  “I know you did. I should have listened.”

  “Hang on. Are you actually saying I was right?”

  “Yes, you were right. Now what am I supposed to do? You seem to know how to handle her. What should I do?”

  “Me? Don’t ask me. I have no idea.”

  “Come on, Jill, please. You’re the only person she seems to take any notice of.”

  “Threats are the only thing that work with Grandma.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean it’s no good trying to be reasonable or conciliatory. She’ll walk right over you. You need to go to her, and tell her that unless she takes some of th
e work off you, you’ll resign.”

  “But I need this job.”

  “She won’t let you leave. You’re doing too good a job.”

  “Why thank you, sis.”

  “Tell her straight. She’ll probably huff and puff, and might even threaten to let you go, but if you stand your ground, she’ll make some compromises.”

  “Okay. I’ll give it a try. Thanks.”

  What had I done? What if I’d got it wrong and Grandma did fire Kathy? My life wouldn’t be worth living. Even worse, what if she turned her into a cockroach, or a slug?

  ***

  I arrived at Cuppy C before the girls from Love Spell. The twins were taking down the ‘cupcake guarantee’ sign.

  “What’s going on?” I said, as I eyed the blueberry muffins.

  “We’ve had to abandon this idea.” Pearl unhooked her side of the banner.

  “Really? I thought it was one of your better initiatives.”

  “We didn’t take into account those three.” Pearl gestured to the corner table. I hadn’t noticed Grandma who was sitting there with two of her cronies. Talk about the three ugly sisters.

  “What’s she done now?”

  “They’ve been here for almost three hours. They bought one cupcake each when they came in. Since then they keep coming back to the counter, and saying the cupcake hasn’t made them happy. Then they demand another one.”

  I glanced across at the motley crew. “Nothing could make those three happy.”

  “I know.” Amber began to roll up the banner. “Grandma knows very well that’s not what the guarantee means, but she insists that until she’s happy, she’s entitled to free cupcakes.”

  “You’ll be waiting a long time until she’s happy.”

  “Well the sign’s gone now, so the next time they come to the counter, they can just whistle,” Pearl said in a whisper.

  As if on cue, Grandma and the other two ugly sisters stood up, and made their way to the exit. Grandma seemed to remember something, and headed back to the counter.

  “The sign is down,” Amber managed meekly. “You can’t have any more cupcakes.”

  Pearl and I both stared at her—she’d obviously lost her mind.

  “That’s okay, dear,” Grandma said. “We’ve had our fill. I just came over to give you and your sister some good news.”

  The twins looked terrified, and understandably so.

  “I’ve decided to allow you to train my staff when my tea room opens.”

  “Allow us to?” Pearl said.

  “No need to thank me,” Grandma said. “I’ll let you know when I need you.”

  Neither of the twins spoke until they were absolutely sure Grandma had gone.

  “Train her staff? I don’t think so,” Pearl said.

  “No way are we training her staff.” Amber huffed.

  “Jill.” Pearl turned to me. “You have to tell her we’re not going to do it.”

  “Me? Don’t drag me into it.”

  “But she likes you.”

  “Oh, yeah. She’s crazy about me.”

  “Please, Jill.”

  “Please!”

  “Okay. Let me think about it.” I took a moment. “I’ve thought about it, and the answer is no.”

  The twins were still muttering under their breath when the girls from Love Spell arrived.

  “What’s wrong with the twins?” Lily asked as she brought the tray of drinks and muffins—blueberry yay!—over to the table.

  “Grandma is causing them grief as usual.”

  “I always thought your grandmother was kind of sweet,” Tilly said.

  Sweet? This woman was obviously in need of urgent psychiatric help.

  “Okay. I think I may know what caused the recent downturn in successful matches,” I said.

  The girls were all ears.

  “I spent a lot of time going through your records, and ran numerous different analyses over the figures. One thing in particular stood out for me. The percentage of overall successful matches is actually as high now as it has ever been, but only at two out of three restaurants which you use for the initial date. Almost all of the unsuccessful dates had their first date at Kaleidoscope. I became suspicious after my date there. Now, my love life may be a train wreck, but I know the date with Ryan went fine. When I left him that night he was keen that we should meet up again. And yet, his report back to you said quite the opposite. That’s why I asked for the second date. I needed to date someone who I knew was a complete mismatch to check that I could still recognise what a ‘bad’ date felt like. My date with Fred proved to me that I hadn’t been delusional—the first date had been a resounding success. There was no reason why Ryan should have said otherwise.

  It’s my belief that something is happening at Kaleidoscope. I think that magic is being used to affect the perception of the men. It’s probably something in their food or their drink. I’m not sure.”

  “That’s a pretty wild accusation,” Hilary said. “Why would anyone at Kaleidoscope want to do that?”

  “The restaurant had a new owner about six months ago. Around about the same time that you started to see problems. The new owner is deliberately keeping a low profile, but I managed to track him down. It’s someone you all know.” I paused for dramatic effect. “Aaron Knight, from Enchanted, is the new owner of Kaleidoscope.”

  “What?” Milly said.

  “Are you sure?” Lily looked shocked.

  “I’m absolutely positive.”

  “That conniving, little rat!” Tilly thumped the table. “Just wait until I get my hands on him!”

  Chapter 21

  The door to my office burst open, and in stormed Grandma. She did not look happy.

  “I’m not happy,” she said.

  See, what did I tell you? Can I read that woman or what?

  Hot on her heels was Mrs V.

  “Sorry, Jill. I did try to tell her that she’d have to wait until I’d checked you were free.”

  “I do not need permission to speak to my granddaughter, thank you very much.”

  Mrs V looked at me and I nodded. “It’s okay.”

  Mrs V left us alone, and Grandma fixed me with her gaze.

  “Good morning, Grandma,” I said, trying to sound bright and breezy.

  “There is nothing good about this morning.”

  “Right—okay. So what exactly seems to be the problem?”

  “The problem, young lady, is you.”

  “And what, exactly, did I do this time?”

  “It’s not so much what you did, as much as what you haven’t done.”

  “Okay—what haven’t I done?”

  “You haven’t progressed to level three yet.”

  “Huh?”

  “Sorry, am I speaking too fast for you? I said, ‘you—haven’t—progressed—to—level—three—yet’.”

  “But I’ve only just become a level two witch. The twins have known they were witches since they were born, and they’re still only on level two.”

  “I’m not talking about the twins. I’m talking about you. You are your mother’s daughter. Darlene was a level six witch. I’m a level six witch. By now, you should be knocking on the door to becoming one yourself.”

  “Just a minute. If I’d known I was a witch since the time I was born, maybe I would have been further up in the levels, but I—”

  “Don’t argue with me, young lady. The fact is: you are still on level two, and it is not good enough. I want you on level three within the next few weeks, or I will want to know why.”

  “But, Grandma—”

  “Don’t argue with me. Just get it done.”

  With that, she turned around, crashed back out the door, and disappeared. Where had that come from? The last time I’d seen her, she’d seemed to think I was doing okay. Now, suddenly, I was a slacker. It didn’t make sense. Something must have happened, but I had no idea what.

  “Don’t worry about it, Jill.”

  I turned around to see m
y mum’s ghost standing there.

  “What was that all about?” I asked.

  “Ma Chivers has got her riled. You’ve heard about Ma Chivers, I assume?”

  “Yeah, the twins told me a little about her when I saw her in Cuppy C. She looks scary. Even more so than Grandma, and I didn’t think that was possible.”

  “Ma Chivers is a nasty piece of work, but she’s also an extremely powerful witch. She’s probably the only witch who can give Grandma a run for her money. Fortunately she’s been living in the human world for decades, so it hasn’t really been a problem. But now she’s back, and it looks as though she may be here to stay. She knows just how to wind Grandma up. Ma Chivers has probably been chiding her. She’s coached a number of witches, several of whom have reached level five, and at least one has reached level six. Grandma has never really had anyone to coach until now.”

  “What about the twins?”

  My mum laughed. “Seriously, Jill? You know what the twins are like. I love those girls to bits, but as witches they make good bakers. They’re never going to be more than level two witches. They don’t have it in them and, in all honesty, they’re not interested. They like their tea room, they love their fiancés and they love shopping for clothes, but they’re really not interested in their witch studies.”

  “What makes you think I can do it? I’m still new to this. I’m still trying to find my way around the whole witch thing.”

  “You know you can do it, and I certainly know you can. The problem is that Grandma knows you can too, and she isn’t blessed with patience. Before Ma Chivers came back it wasn’t such a problem, but now she’s on the scene, Grandma is going to be on your case. You’ve got to resist any pressure she puts on you.”

  “That’s easier said than done.”

  “It’s not going to be easy, but I’ll try to help you. So will Lucy. You can’t rush these things. You’re doing really well, and the pace you’ve set for yourself is the right one. You’ll just have to accept that every now and then Grandma is going to have an outburst like this. You’ll just have to learn how to brush it off.”

  “Did you actually see her just now? I thought she was going to turn me into a donkey or something.”