One Distant Summer
Page 29
“I wish I could change things,” she said. “I wish I could go back and do it differently.”
“I know.” There was understanding in his eyes. “The past never really goes away, especially one like ours. But everything we do from here on, in the future, is making a new past. And I want to make it with you.”
He made it sound so simple, like explaining time travel without the pesky paradox. And when he said it, she believed him. Right now, if he gave her some explanation for why yawns were contagious, or what was outside the universe, she would totally get it.
“So…can we make it okay?” he asked. “For us?”
It was the question that had pushed them forward, and the stumbling block that had tripped them up. And now, it was the sixty-four-thousand-dollar question that would decide their future…and their future past. And the answer was easy.
She nodded. “I think maybe we can.”
But he shook his head. “I heard a maybe from you before, and that didn’t turn out so well. I came a really long way, you know. And there’s no leg room in economy. I’m going to need a better answer than that.”
She laughed, looking up at him. “I think we’ve both come a long way.” And instead of an ocean away, he was within arm’s reach. She wanted him closer. A lot closer. “My answer is yes.”
And suddenly he didn’t look tired at all. He looked like a light had gone on inside, sending hope and possibility into the darkest corners.
“Can you just kiss him now?” someone yelled.
It was the best idea she’d heard in forever. She stepped forward, and he stepped forward to meet her, two wanderers each rescuing the other. But as they collided, their guitars clashed together, sending a sudden, discordant noise blaring through the speakers, and a roar of complaint went up from the audience.
“Sorry,” she said, to them, and to Liam, and to the band. “Sorry!”
She pulled off her headset and unhooked the transmitter from the back of her waistband, and passed them to a roadie who’d raced onstage. As she unplugged the lead and pushed her guitar around to her back, Liam lifted Eli’s guitar off, and the roadie took it too.
Then Liam looked steadily at her, and she knew what he must be seeing. Her cheeks flushed, her eyes bright. What he couldn’t see was how her heart was sending a happy, anticipatory heat through her whole body.
Or maybe he could.
What had she told herself? Nothing was guaranteed. She’d do what her heart told her was right. And what she’d once thought was wrong—what they’d both thought was wrong—had turned out to be totally, completely right.
“So…can you just kiss me now?” he asked, echoing the fan’s question.
And she did.
She stepped forward again, then stood on tiptoe under the lights, put her arms around his neck, and pressed her lips to his. He took her head in his hands, tangling his fingers in her hair, and she felt the tension leave him, as though all the complication and confrontation and remorse had finally found a release.
It was the simplest kiss, under a spotlight with nothing to hide.
It was escape, but not running away. Redemption, but not regret. Moving on without forgetting. Desire without doubt.
It was just them.
And a cameraman.
And five thousand enthusiastic onlookers.
As the audience applauded and hooted, finally getting the satisfaction of a happy ending, the band started playing again. She heard Eli say, “Jacinda Prescott, ladies and gentlemen!” before he launched into yet another hit song, and the camera guy turned away from them to focus on the performance.
She pulled Liam offstage, half kissing, half laughing, until they were safely in the wings. He gathered her into his arms, and she pressed herself against him. He was sweet surety in a messy world, the safe place she she’d visited, but never thought she could stay.
“I’m glad you came all this way,” she said, over the music. “But you still have a bit farther to go.”
“Really?” He raised an eyebrow. “How far?”
“All the way,” she replied, pulling him even closer. “All the way.”
A slow grin spread across his face. “I’m in.”
“In trouble?”
“The best kind,” he replied. Then he put a hand against her cheek, letting his thumb brush the corner of her lips. “So…remember how I said I was in love with you, back then?”
She nodded. “Yes.”
“Was isn’t exactly the right word.”
She started to reply, but he kissed the words away, an unspoken signal that he didn’t want her to say anything she wasn’t ready for. When they parted, she looked at him for a moment, and smiled. Then she silently took his hand, and led him away from the stage area, toward the stairs that led to her dressing room.
This man, with his own grown-up kind of trouble, was welcome in there any time.
Epilogue
High on the grassy peak of Mount Clarion, Jacinda stopped and breathed in the warm evening air, taking in the sea, the softening sky, and the offshore islands scattered across the water of the gulf. Up above, the moon curved in an indigo sky, and the first stars were just starting to shine. This view was still worth the climb.
After a year of commuting, she’d been in the bay two weeks. Sometimes at night, she’d wake up and listen to the waves, their quiet rush and return reminding her of what was precious in life, and so easily lost. Those nights, all she had to do was roll over, or reach out a hand, and find the warm, strong body of Liam next to her.
And then he’d wake up too…and neither of them would go back to sleep for a long while.
“I can see my house from here,” she said to him now, as he came nearer in the dusky light. “And your house.”
He stood close behind her, putting his arms around her waist. “And our house.”
She leaned into him, feeling his warmth against her back. “I like the way that sounds.”
“Me too,” he said, lifting her hair and dropping a kiss on the side of her neck.
They looked down to the old Sweet Breeze Bay homestead, nestled at the very end of the beach where Mount Clarion rose up from the coast. It was getting darker by the minute, but they could see people sitting on picnic blankets on the lawn, where they’d celebrated Christmas Eve day in the sunshine with friends and family. Friends and family who still lingered there—even though Jacinda and Liam had snuck away from their new home.
She smiled. “You know it’s bad form to run out on your own party.”
“They had us all day,” he said. “And I wanted you to myself for a while. It’s not my fault they wouldn’t go home.”
She laughed. “It was a really good day.”
Everyone had relaxed on the lawn with drinks and snacks, enjoying the sun and the view straight out to the ocean. Velvet’s kitten Suede—now a bold, black cat—picked her way across the blankets, stopping occasionally to be petted and check plates for any interesting tidbits. At the end of the garden, there was a small drop directly down to the beach, where Sam and his friends competed to see who could make the most spectacular leap onto the sand. Beyond them was the high tide of a blue, blue sea.
Under supervision from Liam’s dad, Liam and Dane had manned the barbecue, managing the serious task of grilling steaks, sausages, and four of the most enormous crayfish Jacinda had ever seen. Connor had started out helping, but gotten distracted. Jacinda had watched him bring Hannah a drink, saying something to her with a grin. Hannah played with her blonde hair as she replied, blushing prettily, and Jacinda smiled to herself. The Sweet Breeze Bay magic must be working if Hannah was finally willing to be charmed by someone—she’d hadn’t even thought about dating yet. It had been a rollercoaster year, as she wavered between kicking Todd to the curb—as Jacinda had—and being swayed by his declarations of repentance and devotion. Even though he’d brought it on himself, unfortunately proving Jacinda’s fears true, it seemed like he wouldn’t let Hannah go without a fight.
After lunch, they’d had Nana Mac’s homemade pavlova—a New Zealand meringue dessert—with strawberries and ice cream. And later, those who weren’t too lazy had gone for a swim. Even her mom had joined in.
After a few days vacationing in the bay, Trina had started to relax, as Jacinda had hoped she might, slowly letting go of her anxieties like peeling off layers on a warm day. It had been especially nice to see her and Liam’s mom getting along. Jacinda didn’t think Trina would ever return to live here—she was too settled in Florida—but she hoped the visit would wash away some of the lingering memories, and let her enjoy her childhood home again.
“I hope there’ll be lots more good days,” Liam said now.
“Oh, I think there will be,” she replied, turning in his arms to look at him. A slight breeze ruffled his hair, and she put one hand around the back of his neck, loving the feel of him against her. “It’s going to be amazing.”
After all the teasing from Danielle and Riley about ‘projects’, she had Liam really had started working on something—a retreat center for anyone needing a break from entertainment industry overload. It had been a serious investment to buy the homestead and renovate it to the standard expected by the pampered but weary artists they hoped to host. But although it had been left to quietly deteriorate for years, it was basically sound, as well as charming—a little piece of Sweet Breeze Bay history. And the end result was worth it—with the beachy but luxurious accommodation in the outbuilding now in the last stages of renovation, they were nearly ready for guests. They’d included a small recording studio at the side of the main building, with equipment good enough for professional use. And she and Liam had reserved the best rooms for themselves—a self-contained suite upstairs, with a wide deck looking all the way from Mount Clarion across the curve of the bay.
The whole thing had turned into a team effort. Riley and Caro were ready to help with catering for guests, and now Hannah had come to stay for a while, helping to take care of the thousand and one things needed to get set up. Jacinda was pleased her friend had accepted the offer—it was doing her good to get away from LA for a while. After working as Jacinda’s manager, Hannah had been offered a job managing a new band signed with Altitude Records, starting in the new year, and she was thinking about taking it.
Eli had already visited, checking out the almost-finished facilities for a possible retreat with his team in the new year. After he and Liam colluded to surprise her at the Greek, with Hannah’s help, the two men had struck up an unexpected friendship. The tour had been extended, and Liam had joined them for a while on the road. The whole thing had been weird at first, but eventually she’d even gotten quite fond of Eli herself…since forgiving him for being a self-confessed jackass.
“It’s already amazing,” Liam said, the sudden intensity of his voice matched by the midnight blue of his eyes in the almost-dark. “But…are you still sure about your decision?”
After the tour, equal parts fun and frustration, and a lot of thinking, she’d made the call to step away from the spotlight…mostly. She’d kept her Los Feliz loft, and cut a great songwriting deal that meant she could work between the bay and LA, still creating the music she loved, without the scrutiny she’d come to hate. In the end, it had been the easiest decision ever. It was what her heart told her was right…not because of Liam, but for herself.
“I’m totally sure,” she replied. “And now I get to have my cake and eat it too.”
She gave him a teasing squeeze, waiting for the smart reply that would surely come. But then his phone dinged with a message, and he reached into his pocket for it, still holding her against him.
“Sorry,” he said, as he typed a one-handed reply, just out of her view. “Just a second.”
Then he put the phone away, and looked back at her.
“I’m glad you’re sure,” he said. “Because there’s just one more decision you need to make.”
She frowned. “Really? What?”
He didn’t answer. Instead, he took her by the shoulders and turned her around.
And she drew in a sudden breath.
Far below on the sand, in the space between the sea and their new home, was an enormous heart of golden lights. In the waning light, she could only just see that each light was being held by one of their friends or family. She looked back at him, wondering and waiting.
“A lot can change in one year,” he said, his eyes fixed on hers. “But one thing will never change—the way I feel about you. No matter where in the world we are, summer or winter, good days and bad days. And we’ve had a few of each.” Then he reached for her hands. “I came back to the bay last summer looking for something—closure, I guess. I never expected to find you.”
She thought back to the shock of that moment over the gate, when she’d first seen him again. And then that other shock, seeing him on stage at the Greek. “I never expected you, either.”
“I know,” he replied. “But you saved me. We faced the past and made it okay. We remembered what was important—who was important—and found a way to move on, just like you said. Even though there were times when it seemed impossible.”
She squeezed his hands. “And you gave me the clarity to remember what was important to me, too. You gave me a place to call home. A place to be me.”
He nodded. “The bay is that kind of place.”
But she shook her head, just a little. “I didn’t mean the bay. I meant you.”
“Oh.” A softness came into his eyes then, and he leaned down to kiss her, tender and real. Then he pulled away again, and cleared his throat. “So, I have to ask you something.”
“Okay.”
The hesitation in her voice was from nerves, not negativity, but she saw a sudden doubt overtake him.
“Shit, I haven’t done any of this right,” he said. “And I didn’t get you a ring yet,” he added quickly, “because I know you like to make your own choices, and I wanted you to have the perfect one. But now I’m thinking I should have…”
She couldn’t help laughing at his sudden, endearing jitters. “I think you just gave the game away.”
He groaned. “Wait, I’m supposed to—” He started to get down on one knee, but she grabbed him and pulled him back up.
“No,” she said. “I can’t kiss you if you’re down there.”
So he stood tall again, straight and true in front of her, and took her hands again. “I just love you,” he said. “And I want to ask if you’ll marry me.”
She looked up at him. This man, once conflicted and complicated, had brought a simple peace into her own life. Not to mention a sweet, hot, uncomplicated lust. And love. She glanced down at the heart on the sand, glowing just like her own. The lights shifted slightly as though the people holding them were impatient, the lights blurring and moving…or maybe that was the sudden dampness in her eyes. She looked back to Liam, and saw a restrained impatience in his own eyes. From lost to found. From far away to home. From wrong to a very unexpected right.
“I love you too,” she said. “But I think you know that. And I think you already know what my answer is. Even without a ring.”
He breathed out with a laugh, and only then she realized that he’d been holding his breath. He scooped her up and spun her around on the hillside, under the South Pacific moon and stars that had seen their every high and low. She pressed her face into his neck and hung on, laughing.
Then he suddenly put her down. “Wait. I have to text them.”
She watched as he typed a single word—YES—and sent the message. Then they looked down to the beach and laughed again, as all at once, the heart broke apart, the lights racing madly around on the sand, a wild zigzag of celebration under the stars.
Then he pulled her hard against him and kissed her, as though it was their first kiss and their last, the proof of their triumph against doubt and secrets and an unforgiving world. And she kissed him back, because she knew they’d always honor how they began, and remember what they meant
to each other now.
One distant summer had started something…and the next had changed everything. And now, all their future summers stretched ahead, uncharted but full of possibility.
She couldn’t wait.
Thanks for reading One Distant Summer!
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Also by Serena Clarke
A North So True
The Same But Different
All Over the Place
About the Author
Serena Clarke grew up in a family of itchy-footed readers and dreamers—not concentrating, reading the atlas and Narnia books, and planning to run away somewhere magical as soon as she could. At sixteen, she packed her bags and went to live in faraway Sweden. It was the beginning of many travels and adventures…with a few mishaps along the way! Seventeen countries later, she’s living her happily ever after near the beach in beautiful New Zealand, where she writes escapist romantic fiction.
Find her online at:
www.serenaclarke.com
serena@serenaclarke.com
Acknowledgments
Every book is the book of a writer’s heart, but this one is kind of special—a little bit of home, a little bit of elsewhere, and a lot of escapism, all rolled into a sweet, hot, and beachy story that was tons of fun to write.