The Secret of the Chalisa

by Subhanand, Dr. Runjhun Saxena

  Aṇimā: Ability to reduce one's size; Mahima: Ability to increase one's size; Garima: Ability to increase one's weight infinitely; Laghima: Ability to become lighter than the lightest; Prāpti: Ability to Obtain anything; Prākāmya: Ability to acquire anything desired; Iṣiṭva: Lordship over creation; Vaśitva: Having control over things. We need to figure out what that means,” said Bhumija.

  “Since we’ve been discussing so much on the power of the mind, I believe this also designates the power of a concentrated mind. If we ponder over these virtues again adding the word mind or thought before it, it will sound complete,” said Sanjeev.

  “Actually, what you said makes sense,” said Bhumija as she read the entire statement again. “That brings me to a very important hypothesis. Are the ingredients mentioned used to treat a nervous system disorder?” asked Bhumija.

  “On the contrary, the ingredients have anticancer property in common. And as you said that if they hint towards a nervous system disorder, it could very well be a brain cancer,” suggested Sanjeev with goose bumps in his hand.

  “There’s one more article here which we haven’t read so far,” Bhumija said picking up a piece of paper. “It’s titled Psychiatric symptoms associated with brain tumors: a clinical enigma.

  It is a case report of a young patient who was treated for posttraumatic stress disorder, who developed depression and psychiatric symptoms. Brain imaging revealed a thalamic tumor,” Bhumija said further reading the document.

  “Hey, have you both seen this verse of Chalisa in the booklet?” Ravi said pointing to the booklet. “This one says: Laye Sanjivan Lakhan Jiyaye Shri Raghuvir Harashi ur laye. Raghupati Kinhi bahut badai Tum mam priye Bharat-hi sam bhai.”

  Bhumija took the booklet in her hands as she continued reading the article. The frown on her forehead gave a serious look and she seemed lost in her bewildered thoughts. Just then the door bell rang and Ravi went to open the door.

  It was close to day break and Pawan had returned after dropping Vikram to his home in Mussoorie. It was still dark and cold outside, however the room was warm with the burning fireplace.

  “I left him at his home and gave a warning that one more notorious act from him will put him behind the bars,” said Pawan as he kept the car keys and sat on the sofa.

  “Pawan bhaiya!” Bhumija screamed with tears in her eyes. Everyone was astounded by Bhumija's reaction. She cried in horror and came running to Pawan who took her in his arms. Before he could say anything, Bhumija muttered with a sore throat, “Bhaiya, Lakshman has brain cancer,” the love for her sibling took over her strength and she broke out in a bewailing cry.

  Chapter 14

  Sahas badan tumharo yash gave Us kahi Shripati kanth lagaave

  Thousands of living beings are chanting hymns of your glories; saying thus, Shri Ram warmly hugged him (Shri Hanuman).

  Sankadik Brahmadi Muneesa Narad Sarad sahit Aheesa

  When prophets like Sanka, even the Sage like Lord Brahma, the great hermit Narad himself, Goddess Saraswati and Ahisha(one of immeasurable dimensions).

  Yam Kuber Digpal Jahan te Kavi kovid kahi sake kahan te

  Yamraj (God of Death) Kuber (God of Wealth) and the Digpals (deputies guarding the four corners of the Universe) have been vying with one another in offering homage to your glories. How then, can a mere poet give adequate expression of your super excellence?

  The frail sunlight was breaking the winter dawn, with its gentle warmth penetrating the thick veil of fog all around. It was still cold and the fauna was wet with the misty dew.

  “What happened dear? Why are you crying?” asked Pawan. He made her sit on the sofa next to him and gave her a glass of water. He gave an inquisitive look to Sanjeev.

  “We were trying to decipher a verse from the Chalisa which was placed in the brown folder. It had ingredients suggestive of an anticancer medication and an article about brain tumor which can present itself as posttraumatic stress disorder. Simultaneously, there was a verse in Chalisa, which highlighted the word ‘Lakhan',” Sanjeev answered in a low voice.

  “Stop crying dear. Gather yourself and tell me what your inference is,” Pawan asked.

  “The article clearly stated how posttraumatic stress was the presenting symptoms of thalamic tumor. The ingredients mentioned were clearly indicating towards an anticancer drug. What more, the chalisa verse highlighted the name ‘Lakhan'. I’m scared bhaiya, I want to take Lakshman immediately for a brain scan,” wept Bhumija.

  “That’s OK, just relax. It’s just an interpretation you drew from the text material you had. I might not be true. So don’t get scared,” consoled Pawan. “It’s going to be morning soon. Go home and take rest today. We will think what to do.”

  “No, I can’t take chances. I have to be quick,” Bhumija began to panic.

  “Please, don’t stress yourself. I’ll help you as much as I can,” said Sanjeev gathering all his empathy for her.

  “Ok, go home and bring Lakshman to the diagnostic Centre, we will meet you there,” said Pawan. “Come, I’ll drop you home.”

  “No I’ll go on my own. I don’t want papa to discover that I was here at night,” said Bhumija has she collected her things and bike keys.

  Two hours later, Pawan reached the diagnostic center with Sanjeev as Ravi had gone back to work. Bhumija was there doing the initial formalities at the reception counter.

  She had changed into a black and white salwar kameez and sweater and her eyes were red and swollen. It seemed she had not stopped crying.

  “Where’s Lakshman?” asked Pawan.

  “He is inside the imaging room. Mummy has come too. I told her we came for routine evaluation. The head of the department of Radiology is here for consultation. So I asked him to review my brother’s case,” said Bhumija.

  “Did you inform Mamiji?” asked Pawan.

  “No, I didn’t tell them anything. They don’t even know if you are here.”

  “OK, we will sit in the visitor section then.”

  “Yes, please wait for me. Once the imaging is done I’ll send mummy and Lakshman home and wait for the report,” replied Bhumija and left towards the investigation room.

  “Why don’t you tell me what happened? Look at your eyes, were you crying? And why are you not eating anything since morning?” Kesari loaded Bhumija with questions.

  “Nothing has happened. This is just a routine examination. I had ICU duty so couldn’t sleep the whole night. Once the imaging is done, you leave with Lakshman for home. I’ll collect the reports and come later,” Bhumija told.

  It took another hour for the procedure. Bhumija’s heart was palpating like a galloping horse. The fear of losing her baby brother was tearing her apart. Her mind was getting deluded with negative thoughts which seem to cloud her rational decision making capacity. An hour appeared like an year to her and in a short span of time her mind had weaved countless thoughts of the future. Soon she was lost in the memories of her childhood.

  It was a bright morning which brought with it new hope for life. Bhumija had come to Anjana’s house with her mother. She rang the door bell, when Pawan answered it.

  “Ma, Mamiji has come,” Pawan said in a loud voice.

  Anjana was praying in the house when Bhumija joined with her mother, early in the morning. The house reverberated with Hanuman Chalisa in her beautiful sweet voice. The jasmine fragrance spread across the prayer room from the incense sticks. Pawan held in his hand a bell which he rang in rhythm to match the song of the Chalisa. Suresh stood there with folded hands and tried to match his voice with the hymn and the bell. The entire house was filled with the aura of divinity and sanctity. It was a Sunday, but still the house was bustling with activity. Everyone joined the daily prayers and came out to the living room after it ended.

  Anjana came with prasad to the living room which she offered to Bhumija first.

  “Bua, I love your handmade prasad,” she said as she picked up laddus in both hands.

  “Namaste Didi. I th
ought I’ll drop by for some time,” Kesari greeted Anjana.

  “It’s very nice of you, Kesari. I’m happy you brought Bhumija along,” Anjana said. “Take a seat and have breakfast with us.”

  “I’ll help you in kitchen Didi,” Kesari said as she followed Anjana to the kitchen. “It’s been one month since Jijaji expired, but you have overcome the situation so well. Looking after two children alone, working and managing the house, I wish I could be half as strong as you.”

  “I had to become strong Kesari, to look after my children. I had to be strong to carry out Raghav's research. I had to be strong, so that I don’t drown in my own tears. This world is not a place for the weak. It’s always the survival of the fittest. I cannot shatter the dreams of my husband and the future of my children,” Anjana said in her firm voice.

  “I admire you Didi. Are you continuing with the research work which Jijaji left?”

  “Oh yes, I will definitely complete his work. I will do whatever it takes to enhance his work. He wanted to make a holistic medicine; I am doing an extensive research on that. In fact I have made some progress, but it’s a long way to go. Once I finish my study on rats, I need some human volunteers. The Dean of the university is very helpful. I hope he will help me in future too. But I’m worried for Pawan. He has suddenly become too big for his age. He has started taking private tuitions and yoga classes and is learning wrestling. He doesn’t want to pursue further studies. Whenever I tell him, he says he wants to be strong to protect me and Suresh. Now we both want to work so that Suresh can study in a good college.”

  “Pawan is a very responsible boy, Didi. If he has made up his mind he will not change. I’ve seen he’s very protective for Bhumija also. Probably he feels it’s his liability to look after the ladies of the house. Suresh is a very bright child. He will definitely make you proud one day. I feel both the boys are doing their best and will bring laurels to their parents. You can be rest assure for that,” Kesari comforted Anjana. “But today I’ve come for Bhumija. She is unable to come out of the guilt. She feels she is the reason for Jijaji's death. Please talk to her. Only you can bring her out of her sorrow,” Kesari remarked.

  “Don’t worry I will talk to her,” Anjana said as they both brought the breakfast out on the dining table.

  “So, Bhumija how are you? Did you buy a new pet?” asked Anjana.

  “No, I didn’t. What if I kill him too?” she said innocently.

  “You won’t kill. You are a very nice girl,” said Pawan. “Come let’s hunt for a puppy today.”

  “Pawan is right, you should buy a puppy,” asserted Anjana.

  “Yes, and I will make an electronic collar for him,” added Suresh.

  “Are you angry with me?” Bhumija spoke hesitantly.

  “No dear, not at all,” Anjana said as she got up from her chair and cuddled her.

  “We all love you. Pawan and Suresh will take care of you whenever you need help. We are all one family, so don’t feel guilty,” Anjana consoled. “You will become a fine doctor one day. You are so gentle and kind. You feel guilty when you care for people and that’s the best quality of a doctor. We are all here to help you, and remember whenever you need someone, Lord Hanuman will always be there,” she said as she took out the silver chain around her neck with a glistening silver pendant of Lord Hanuman. “Wear this always, He will always guide you. He is immortal, so whenever you call him with sincerity, He will surely come.”

  Bhumija’s face was lit up with a smile.

  “Then can I pluck mangoes from your tree?” she said beaming with happiness.

  “Of course darling, go with Pawan and Suresh,” Anjana said as the children left for the garden. The two ladies stood there in the house watching the children play together.

  “This family is my strength, Lord. Keep us together always. Guide us and always let your divine grace shine upon us,” Anjana said a silent prayer in her mind.

  Bhumija watched Anjana as she left for the garden. She saw her beautiful smiling face and a voice which said to her, “Don’t worry dear. Everything will be all right.”

  It was as if yesterday and the same voice reverberated in her ears again, ““Don’t worry dear. Everything will be all right.”

  Bhumija wiped a small tear drop which filed the corner of her eyes.

  On the other hand Pawan and Sanjeev sat in the reception area, both equally tensed.

  “Give me the booklet, it will help me relieve my anxiety,” Pawan asked. As Sanjeev handed over the Chalisa booklet to him, Pawan opened the first page and started reciting in his mind. Sanjeev stared at Pawan as he read the booklet. In an instant the expression changed from anxiety to peacefulness. Here was a man who practiced what he preached. He had learnt to control his emotions, prevent the mind from being clouded by passivity and transform despair into hope.

  “How did you do it?” Sanjeev asked perplexed.

  “What?” Pawan asked with a faint smile.

  “How did you gain your composure so soon? In just a night the world has gone topsy-turvy, but you’ve maintained the peace of your mind.”

  “Practise, my child, practise,” replied Pawan. “It took years of patience for me to reach this stage. Numerous failures and defeats made me strong, continuous self reflection made me humble and belief in the truth of life gave me hope and strength. When I started lessening my karmic retributions, my soul felt less burdened.

  My father passed away when I was very young. At that moment of life I had to make a strong decision which would change my entire future. I could have continued with my dreams and aspirations and left the family to struggle. When I saw my mother standing strong amidst crisis, I decided to follow her path. She made my father’s dream her own. My father’s aptitude and acumen for research took him on a path of valuable discovery. He designed studies and would remain away from house for weeks getting approval for the same. I saw him work so hard in his life, sometimes surviving on only one meal a day. After he passed away, I saw my mother do the same. To fulfill the dreams of my father and future of her children, she worked day in and day out. She skipped her usual meals and sleep for us. In those tough times, I saw her drawing strength from Hanuman Chalisa and devotion in Lord Ram. It was this faith which brought her happiness despite a hard life. She was an example for me to follow. So I too decided to live her ideals in my life and work for the happiness of the family. Living for a greater cause elevated my life state and I was able to find happiness in my personal life too. My mother and I looked after all children younger to me in the family be it intellectually or spiritually. I treated all my younger cousins and my brother as my children, and decided never to marry. I wanted to live my life helping this generation bring laurels to the family name and today I have no regrets. I’ve lived my life well and without fear, so restoring my inner peace is very easy for me.”

  “Do you think it can be true?” asked Sanjeev.

  “What?”

  “I’m talking about the interpretation of the verse of Hanuman Chalisa. Can Lakshman really have brain tumor?”

  “I don’t know if it’s true or not, but I know one thing, that the Chalisa is true. It depends on the devotee what he wants to search in it. Maybe Ma used it as a vehicle to transfer some information to you, but it depends on your faith to discover it. When I read the verse: ‘Laye Sanjivan Lakhan Jiyaye Shri Raghuvir Harashi ur laye,’ I had two thoughts. First was the legend of sanjeevani buti, in which Hanuman bought this rare medicine to protect the life of Lakshman. So, if you all were discussing about the anticancer medication suggestive of sanjeevani buti, it points to be the drug of choice for Lakshman. Second thing which struck me was the word, ‘sanjeevan’, which might point to you as well. It denotes that you help in bringing life to Lakshman. You may call it your destiny or misfortune, but serendipitously you are now the owner of a valuable drug composition.”

  The recent events had brought turmoil in Sanjeev’s life. He was flustered whether this new discovery should bring happine
ss to him or add to his misery. But his heart poured out for Bhumija, and for her, he wanted to do everything he can.

  “Can you interpret the next verses for me? Maybe we can find some more help,” asked Sanjeev.

  “Actually I was contemplating over it. The next three verses sing the glory of Hanuman. While Hanuman is the mind of the body, Shesh-nag, the thousand headed serpent designates the cosmic mind. The devotion of Hanumanis so paramount, that even the cosmic mind is praising him. Be it the gods of death or money, saints or sages, scholars or poets, everyone is singing the glory of Hanuman. These verses are not highlighted in particular, but I believe if the Chalisa suggests the making of sanjeevani buti, the discoverer will be equally appreciated. There was a time when such a glory was sung for my mother and father for their hard work and discoveries.

  The Divine Mind, Brahma, created Life in his mind. This world is His thoughts. Look around yourself, hasn’t man created an equally beautiful world? From various tools and machines to the beautiful architecture surrounding us, isn’t it the creation of a man’s mind? Is he less than Brahma? Where the Rajas, positive energy in him created beauty, the Tamas, negative energy in him gave birth to atrocities around him. When you train your mind towards good and make it one pointed, you ignite the goodness within it. It depends on your mind to make sanjeevani either as medicine or as poison.”

  “Theoretically it sounds good and simple, but practically it may not be that easy. In order to proceed further I need to procure the ingredients necessary, in fact some of them are endangered species now. Even if I had them with me, titrating the exact volume of constituents may take months or even years. In the present circumstances, it’s very clear that we don’t have time. The clock is ticking even as we talk,” Sanjeev voiced his concern.

  “Yes, I know, but fear of unknown is the biggest impediment for growth. The moment you think of your growth, the negative tendencies within you will tell you it’s not possible, you will fail. The thought of failure and defeat has been driving this world since a long time. However, there is a voice inside you which will prompt you to proceed. It is the sattava residing within you. The moment you shun your fear and decide to progress no matter what, the protective forces in the nature will guide you. When your determination changes, everything will begin to move in the direction you desire. The moment you resolve to be victorious, every nerve and fiber in your being will immediately orient itself toward your success. On the other hand, if you think, “This is never going to work out,” then at that instant every cell in your being will be deflated and give up the fight.