Haven

by Mary Lindsey

  And right as she lifted up and grabbed the waistline of his jeans, she froze, head twisting to the side as if listening to something outside the cave. Her hand flew to the necklace charm, and her wide eyes met his before she squeezed them shut. A strange growl churned from her throat. She swallowed hard, as if trying to force the sound back down. “No,” she whispered. “Oh no.” Then her hands flew to her face, feeling the flesh, practically clawing her own skin. “Not now.”

  Picking up on her alarm, Rain sat, and she swung around to a crouch beside him. “What is it?” he asked.

  “Listen to me, Rain.” Her tone was desperate. “Whatever happens. Don’t speak. Don’t say a single word.”

  “Wha—”

  “Promise me.”

  He nodded, and then a couple of things happened at once: Voices came from nearby, and her expression changed into one of fury. Her lip pulled up from her teeth in a snarl, right about the time three forms filled the entrance to the cave.

  “Away,” she ordered, her voice a growl. “Get out.”

  “We’re here to bring you back,” Kurt said. “Ulrich sent us.”

  Rain folded his legs under him so he could get to his feet if the guys made a move, but he was far more worried about Freddie at that moment. Her posture changed, her back bowed, arms rotating to where the elbows pointed toward her body. Neck stiffening. She seemed to have gone into a trance or something. Her eyes grew unfocused, and her face contorted. “Get out now,” she warned. Voice gravelly and unnatural.

  “No, Freddie,” Merrick yelled from outside the cave opening. “Don’t.”

  “She’s losing it,” Kurt said, backing up a step.

  Merrick pushed past the other boys and dropped to his knees in front of her. “Keep it together, Freddie. Please. Stay cool.” He looked over his shoulder at the other two. “Something’s wrong. The new charm isn’t working.” Then he turned his brown eyes back to Freddie. Speaking as he would to a drunk person—slowly and clearly. “You need to get away from him so you don’t hurt him. Do you understand?”

  She nodded, and he took her elbow and pulled. To Rain’s surprise, she went willingly.

  Thomas and Kurt stood aside as Merrick led her out of the cave. Clouds covered the moon, making the scene even freakier than it already was. Crouching to not bump his head, Rain moved to the entrance, zipping his fly, not sure what to do other than keep his mouth shut like he’d promised.

  Freddie didn’t look right—didn’t sound right—as her breaths came in loud, erratic pants. Hands on knees, she leaned over, back bowed, like she’d just run sprints. Merrick took her necklace and rubbed the glass bubble on her lip. “Bite,” he said. “C’mon, Freddie. You like this guy. Keep it together. For him. For us.”

  She bit the bubble. Rain heard the glass crush between her teeth.

  “Where’s her shirt?” Kurt asked. “Quick before the moon comes out from the cloud cover.”

  Giving Rain a go-to-hell look as he shoved by him, Thomas ran inside and grabbed her shirt from the floor, pitching it to Merrick on his way out.

  But before her cousin could pull the shirt over Freddie’s head, something happened. Face covered with the black T-shirt, her body convulsed, her abdomen and ribs heaving then contracting. She cried out “No!” as her spine protruded in raised knobs beneath the skin of her back, and she fell to her knees. Hair, silver and thick, appeared in patches on her shoulders, expanding to cover her arms and back, like it was sprouting in time lapse. She ripped the shirt off her head, tearing it to shreds in the process, and twisted to stare at Rain. Directly at him.

  Like hate, regret had a look unlike anything else. And in her now foreign eyes he saw an unmistakable apology. He placed his hand over his heart—over the inked cascade of tears—to let her know he understood.

  And what he saw then was more terrifying than anything he’d ever imagined. Perhaps more frightening than the photos of her murdered father. Fangs and fur and a shocking change in ear shape were what he noticed first. Not human. Not animal. But somewhere between, as the bones of her face elongated to a disfigured mask, and she screamed. His heart hammered painfully in his chest as he fought the urge to scream himself.

  Then, before Rain’s horrified eyes, Merrick ripped a chain holding a glass bubble exactly like Freddie’s out from under his own shirt and looped it over her head. With one last look at Rain, he sprinted down the trail away from them. But before he disappeared from sight, Rain swore he saw him drop to all fours, body contracting in places and expanding in others, but his mind didn’t register it fast enough to be certain before Merrick disappeared into the brush.

  Freddie pressed Merrick’s necklace to her chest, sucking in deep breaths. She looked like herself now. Breathing heavily with tangled hair, smooth skin, and closed eyes.

  Thomas patted her shoulder, but she didn’t react. “We’ve got it from here,” he said. “We’ll take care of him.”

  “Looks to me like she was taking care of him just fine,” Kurt said. “Weren’t you, Freddie?”

  “Don’t.” Her voice was ragged. “Saw nothing. Knows nothing.”

  “Come on, Freds. You knew it would come to this if you kept messing with him. You can’t play with your food, honey.” Thomas’s smile at Rain made his hair stand on end.

  I’ll slowly peel your skin from your body with my teeth while you scream and then eat you for dinner, he’d said. After what Rain had just seen, reality had taken a hard left, and that now seemed entirely possible.

  “Two-legged livestock is off-limits,” Kurt added.

  What the hell was going on? Rain’s eyes darted from the two boys to Freddie, who still didn’t look well. Sweat beaded on her face, and her hands shook. “He knows nothing.”

  “He’s been talking to Gerald. He knows a lot more than he should. It’s over, baby. There’s no choice. You know this.”

  Thomas tugged a chain from under his shirt, but before he could pull it off, she grabbed his wrist. “No. I say no. If you kill him—” Her frantic expression morphed to anger, and she straightened. Thomas twisted his wrist, but she held firm, knuckles white from pressure. “If you so much as bruise him, I swear to you both, I won’t wait until I graduate to make my decision. I’ll step up tomorrow as leader and have the two of you put down. You’ve committed enough infractions for three death sentences, and you know it.”

  “He saw!”

  She gestured in Rain’s direction. “Look at him. He’s totally wasted. Dropped acid two hours ago,” she lied. “He doesn’t even know who he is. He won’t have a clue about this tomorrow, and if he does, he’ll think it was one hell of a weird trip, that’s all.”

  Rain looked up at the moon, letting his jaw go slack to play along with her story. He wasn’t sure exactly what was going on, but he knew she was trying to keep him alive.

  “Why him?” Thomas’s voice cracked with the words. He cleared his throat.

  She turned and studied him. “I was only playing with him. You know that.”

  Rain’s stomach dropped at her words, which wasn’t rational considering what he’d just seen. He should be relieved she’d planned to discard him. Oddly, he wasn’t.

  “Okay,” Kurt said. “We’ll let him go tonight, but you’re coming back with us. And if he shows any signs of knowledge, he’s done.”

  She shrugged. “Fine.”

  “Call Grant. The formula of your charm was way off,” Thomas said. “He clearly didn’t up it enough.”

  “Underestimated that he was dealing with a bitch in heat.” Kurt snickered and high-fived Thomas.

  Her voice was almost normal now. Clear and strong. “I hear the SPCA is doing a two-for-one neuter deal right now. If you don’t get your asses down that trail to wait for me by the gate, I’m making an appointment for you.”

  Laughing and shaking their heads, they headed out. “Stop taking advantage of stoned livestock, Friederike,” Thomas shouted as they disappeared from view. A couple of moos and baas were thrown in as they went
.

  And then, they were alone.

  So many thoughts swirled in Rain’s head that it felt like a tornado twisting through his skull. Nothing was clear or coherent except that this girl, who he’d grown to like more than anyone he’d ever met, was not who or what he thought she was. Hell, she might not even be human.

  She held up her hands. “You didn’t see anything.”

  “The fuck I didn’t.”

  “Freddie!” one of the boys called from a distance.

  “Listen to me, Rain. You have to act like what you saw…” She closed her eyes and took a couple of deep breaths. “It didn’t happen. It should never have happened.”

  “Gee, ya think?” Here he’d been thinking he was helping her. That she’d liked him. I was only playing with him.

  “Something went wrong. I never intended for you—”

  He took a step toward her. “To what? To find out you turn into some…thing? Some scary hairy thing and your crazy-ass relatives want to skin me and eat me for dinner? When did you plan to tell me this? Right after we…” His voice trailed off as he gestured to the cave. His chest ached so bad, it felt like it was going to split open. He ran his hands through his hair, hating himself for the hurt look on her face. “My God.”

  “I had planned to never tell you.”

  At least she was being honest.

  “Freddie!” The tone from down the trail was uglier now.

  “I’ve gotta go. Listen.” She placed her hand on his shoulder, and he pulled away, out of reach. “I know this is asking a lot, but it’s the only way I know to keep you alive. You’ve gotta act like you didn’t see a thing tonight. Like you’re still into me.” Her eyes filled, the unshed tears reflecting the moonlight. “I’m really, really sorry. I never intended to hurt you.”

  He gave a single nod, his emotions tangled and confused. He wanted so badly to believe her. To believe the connection he’d felt had been real and not some game she’d been playing.

  “We eat lunch under the big oak tree at the front drop-off at the school. Meet me there tomorrow and act like you’re still hot on me. I know that’s a stretch after what just happened.” She looked down and took a breath before continuing. “I’ll be rude and end it with you in a day or so, and this will all be over.”

  But the thing was, he didn’t want this to be over. He was deep down more troubled by the prospect of losing her than anything else at that moment. Which was wrong in a million ways. “What are you?”

  “I can’t. I…I wish I could.” She took several steps back, the regret and hurt on her face so genuine it made his chest ache. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

  He stared out over the trees below, still trying to untangle his conflicted thoughts and emotions. “Yeah.”

  She turned to go, her shirtless, slim back looking so vulnerable—so un-monsterlike.

  “Freddie.”

  With a deep breath, she turned around.

  He strode into the cave and scooped up his shirt from the floor where she’d kissed him senseless, and a wave of sadness poured through him at their missed opportunity. He shook his head to clear the ridiculous thoughts away. Yeah. The missed opportunity to make out with a…whatever she was.

  “Arms up,” he said. He slipped his shirt over her head. Something in him rebelled at her spending time with Thomas shirtless. He shouldn’t care, right?

  But he did. He cared a lot.

  And as she walked down the trail away from him, never looking back, he shuffled puzzle pieces: the eyes glowing from the field his first night here. The feral dogs Aunt Ruby mentioned. The dog at the shed last night.

  All easily explained away.

  Listen to your instincts. There are things that defy logic.

  She disappeared from view, and his chest tightened, everything in him wanting to call her back.

  Still, his mind clicked more pieces into place one by one: Gerald’s weird warnings. The chief going to the ranch because an animal had been taken down. Ruby’s story of the legend of the rock changing man to beast. Freddie twice turning up naked and covered in dirt and leaves in the middle of the night.

  But most of all, what he’d just seen. Skin stretching. Bones morphing. Hair and claws and fangs. His heart beat even faster, possibilities blurring rational explanations.

  You wouldn’t believe me if I told you, she’d said.

  Maybe not, but he’d sure believe her now.

  His mind returned to the old adage. People see only what they want to see. Something in him had always recognized she was different. From the moment he saw those strange pale eyes, he’d known she wasn’t like other people. And the things that should have warned him off—her aggressive behavior, her harsh demeanor, her evasiveness, not to mention her verbal warnings—had been the things that had attracted him the most.

  While having witnessed whatever he’d witnessed—her changing into something else—had shaken him, deep down he couldn’t say he was surprised. Something in him knew. Something in him liked it.

  Something in him was sick.

  He held out his arms and tipped his face to the moon as she had done, hoping to feel it. To feel something, but all he found was sad, hollow loneliness. He opened his eyes and stared out over the brutal, beautiful surrounding countryside and considered his own words.

  We all hide a beast inside us. The only difference is what form it takes when freed.

  Yep. Fucking nailed it.

  Eighteen

  The next day at lunch, Rain found Freddie and her cousins exactly where she’d said they’d be—under the oak tree in front of the school. No wonder he’d never seen her in the cafeteria or courtyard. He shifted his backpack higher on his shoulder and tried to look casual. Not easy when approaching what might be a pack of wild animals. No. What was certainly a pack of wild animals.

  He needed to keep this craziness in perspective, though. This couldn’t be much different than the gangs back in Houston.

  They lounged in a loose circle at the base of the trunk—Thomas leaning against the tree flanked by Kurt and Merrick, facing Freddie, whose back was to Rain. Thomas was the first one to notice him heading their way. An elbow nudge alerted Kurt, and their change of focus drew Merrick’s attention. Freddie didn’t turn around, but her shoulders rose a little, and she stiffened, indicating her awareness of him.

  If there was anything Rain had learned about gang mentality, it was to never show weakness. Go all in. Well, he’d thought long and hard about this last night on that hill, and there was no debate; he was all in. He wanted Freddie, monster or no monster. He’d liked her before last night. He liked her now. End of story.

  Keeping his breath even and his gait loose, he ploughed ahead. Best tactic, he found, in dealing with a hostile group was to communicate directly with the leader, generally cutting straight to the point with no bullshit. There was no doubt in his mind who led this gang.

  When he stopped directly behind Freddie, the boys looked ready to launch up and tear him apart, no doubt thinking he was going to cause a scene about last night. He wanted a scene, but not the kind they expected.

  “Hey,” he said, ignoring the others as he crouched behind Freddie, pulling her hair over her shoulder, exposing the long column of her neck. She made no response, other than a small shudder probably only he could see. He knew this was a risk, not only with regard to her but with the boys, too. In order to be accepted by a gang, you had to take a stand they would understand and respect.

  Wrapping his arms around her, knees on either side of where she sat in the grass, he leaned down and nuzzled her neck. God, she smelled good. Like soap and fresh-cut grass. He kissed the area just behind her ear.

  “Uh…” Her voice was breathy with surprise.

  One of the boys growled.

  No halfway with a gang. No show of weakness. He ran his lips down her neck. He didn’t like public displays of affection, hated seeing them, but this was absolutely necessary. He was making a statement. A big one. He wasn’t scared of
Freddie’s cousins. And most of all, he wasn’t scared of Freddie. He wanted her to know that. Understand it on that same primal level they shared last night.

  He wasn’t livestock, and he wasn’t going away, and he planned to get that across in a way that every single one of them would understand. So once he felt her relax a little under his lips, he made his statement. He bit her on that sensitive area between her neck and shoulder. Not hard enough to break the skin but definitely hard enough to leave a mark.

  He’d expected her to flinch or protest, but instead, a rumbling met his lips as she made that deep growl he’d liked so much in his room and the cave. She wasn’t the only one growling, though. He lifted his head to find Thomas’s eyes narrowed, teeth bared.

  He wanted to growl and snarl back but decided to keep it low-key, since he wasn’t supposed to remember anything unusual from his fake drug trip. “Sorry about last night. I must have zoned out or something,” he whispered, knowing the boys could hear.

  He sat next to her on the grass, stretching his legs in front of him, staking out a large area of space in the middle of the circle, getting his point across: I belong here.

  A rare roast beef sandwich sat half eaten on a piece of foil in front of her. Certainly not school food. She picked it up and took a bite, clearly aware he was studying her. “Want some?”

  “I ate a piece of pizza on my way out here.” He’d left class right as the bell rang and made it through the line first so he could make it there in time to see her.

  “Ugh. Not the school pizza, I hope,” Kurt said, nose wrinkled. “That shit’s awful.”

  “Not if you grew up eating out of trash cans and dumpsters so you wouldn’t starve.” He wanted them to know he wasn’t soft. He was establishing his place in the pecking order: I’m big, I’m bad, and I do what it takes to survive. Moo, my ass, motherfuckers.

  Kurt’s eyebrow arched. He’d impressed one of them, anyway. Merrick seemed cool with him, too. He was back to stuffing chips in his mouth with both hands. Moth used to do that. Rain wondered if the kid was okay without him there to keep him out of trouble. Hopefully he’d gone back to his family.