Let's Be Bad Guys
Page 4
“Are they joining the crew?” Beth asked as the door shut behind me.
“That’s what I wanted to talk to you two about,” I replied, “apparently the quiet one can run nav, and the soldier could prove useful in the obvious ways.”
“Not to mention you want to give ‘em the old Barty ‘D’.” P’riti light-heartedly jabbed.
“A, there’s nothing old about my ‘D’,” I chuckled, earning me a little shrug from the blue woman who’d been screaming my name a few hours prior, “and B… Well, don’t you?”
“The soldier, yes,” P’riti replied, “don’t know about the other one yet. As good as the resolution is on these cams, you definitely lose something sort of primal over them.”
“Are we seriously keeping around people just because you two want to get your rocks off?” Beth scoffed, raising her eyebrow and looking between the two of us somewhat disapprovingly.
“Well, not just because we want to get our rocks off.” I said cockily, “Seriously though, it genuinely wouldn’t hurt to have a couple of extra hands around.”
“True,” Beth replied, losing some of her judgmental tone, while tilting her head from side-to-side, “but as a general rule, I’m against the idea of us trading rides for ass.”
“Who said we’re doing that?” Val asked incredulously, Prescott apparently having opened the door just enough for her to look through at us, “I’m not saying we won’t, I just don’t remember having the discussion yet.”
“You hear that, Beth?” P’riti chimed in with a smile, “Shall we discuss rates? Like, distance to amount of ass-wise?”
“If you’re trying to embarrass me, it’s not going to work,” Beth lied, “I’m just saying I’m worried about setting a bad precedent.”
“And why wouldn’t you be?” Val huffed understandingly, “After all, we could be seducing your captain here in the hopes of lowering his guard with our intergalactic sexual techniques and hijacking this fine vessel of yours.”
“I might be okay with that.” I said with a nod, “How intergalactic?”
“For real, guys,” Beth interjected, “no offence, but uniforms don’t seem like they’ll gel particularly well with our whole… thing.”
“You mean the type of thing like where my girlfriend commits multiple homicides despite being more than capable of subduing them nonlethally?” Val laughed, the door finally opening the rest of the way, “I’m sure we’ll have plenty of time to get properly acquainted, but in the interests of making everyone feel comfortable, she’s technically property of the Sovereignty and I’m a deserter. ‘Space pirate’ fits our life path as it is perfectly.”
“Woah, woah, woah, I don’t think we’ve ever come out and said we’re pirates.” I scoffed, “More… rogues.”
“The difference being?” Val asked curiously.
“Class, mostly,” I replied assuredly, “plus, we’re not exactly bad guys.”
“I mean, aren’t we?” P’riti pointed out, gesturing to the ship, “Stolen ship, sociopathic AI, cutthroat crew, and I’m almost certain I hit the mine on our way out.”
“Yeah, but-wait, seriously?” I asked.
“Ha, no,” P’riti replied unconvincingly, “but seriously, why not? Surely it’s got to be easier if we just own it, right?”
“I agree with bluey,” Val said with a nod, “sorry, I promise I’ll learn names soon. Big day. But for real, it was so liberating when I just acknowledged I’m a bit of a selfish bitch who likes to work for herself and doesn’t mind if some faceless goons get ganked over it.”
“And I already hitched my wagon to Dutan for fuck’s sake,” Beth chuckled humorlessly, “so you know I’m cool with accepting some dirt on my hands.”
I’d done my best to stay on the straight and narrow for a good long while, worked a good, legal job for a good company on a mostly good world, and I hated almost every fucking minute of it.
The closest thing I came to excitement was beating that guy up with a shovel, and I was more than a little disappointed when no one rushed to his aid so I could get some more blood under my nails.
Before I could crack into the can of worms that was the ever-present worry that I was some kind of violent psychopath, I started looking around the room at the crew just in time for MJ to come in with a small arsenal under her arms.
“Doesn’t really sound like I’ve got much of a choice, does it?” I chuckled with a half-smile, “Fuck it, let’s be bad guys.”
CHAPTER 9
After a couple minutes of having Prescott clean the medbay using some kind of strong chemical that left it smelling of a hospital, the AI pointed out that the chair acted as an elevator to the third floor and suggested I climb in.
“Not too shabby…” I remarked as I was lifted through the floor where I found a large office with what appeared to be actual wooden bookshelves lining the walls, “Not too shabby at all.”
“I’m glad you’re impressed,” Prescott sighed while I spun in the chair to give myself a more complete look of the compartment, “I’m sure you’ll find the rest of the third floor to your liking.”
“The rest?” I asked, finally popping up out of my chair.
“Yes,” Prescott groaned tiredly, “the whole third floor falls under the ‘Captain’s Quarters’ umbrella. Can I go now?”
“Go on,” I replied distractedly, thinking about the books I hoped to fill the shelves with, “make sure to give Val and MJ ship permissions as well.”
“Why, of course, why wouldn’t I want to give your new gal pals complete access to our highly valuable spacecraft?” Prescott muttered mostly to himself while I went on enjoying the space.
All said and done, I felt like I could chalk day one up as a success in most regards.
Granted, I’d lost an eye, had someone try to screw me over, lost a crew member, and was just about broke.
However, I’d got myself a fancy new eye, gotten the jump on the guy I’d been screwed over by, and gained two new crew members, all of which is to say nothing about the fact that we were apparently taking the left-hand path which meant money was more than likely going to be coming our way fast.
Walking through the doors to the next section, I found a bedroom with a few large dressers on the left wall and a bed that ran from wall to wall on the right, the latter adorned with some of the softest looking covers I’d ever seen.
The white sheets folded over the red clouds woven into duvets brought to mind a red velvet cake I’d had during a brief and unusual stint of R&R on some far away world before committing yet another war crime in the name of Sovereignty.
Even with that little reminder of the savagery of the war, I couldn’t help but smile.
I was clear of all debt, courtesy of the mulched Dutan, and was free to roam the stars in search of booty with my crew of sexy women.
Deciding I’d explore the rest of my ‘quarters’ later, I kicked off my boots and flopped onto the bed, lowering it slightly for a moment before slowly floating back to its original position.
In the interest of honesty, it took me a few seconds to realize it was a grav-bed and I wasn’t having some kind of brain problem as a side effect of my new eye.
“Level up!” I blurted out a little too enthusiastically, pulling out my CredCard as I did and seeing I had fifty skill points to spend.
Cpt. Bartholomew Vexi Duke
LEVEL
2
EXPERIENCE
300/1500
SKILL POINTS
-
LEVEL TITLE
Greenhorn
ACTIVE SPEC
Spacefarer
ALLIANCE/CLAN
-
REPUTATION
Neutral
REP TITLE
-
WALLET (Bits)
B 875
BOUNTY (Bits)
B 0
SKILLS
LONG GUNS
-
AETHERTECH
-
SMALL ARMS
5
ENGINEERING
-
HEAVY WEAPONS
-
CRAFTING
-
EXPLOSIVES
-
SEXUAL STAMINA
10
VEHICLES
-
CHARISMA
5
LOCKPICKING
5
WISDOM
-
HACKING
5
LUCK
20
Knowing I was pretty okay with charisma inherently and wasn’t particularly wanting in the weapons and explosives department made picking the skills to upgrade significantly easier than it had been in the past.
Sure, I could’ve put some points in Engineering or Wisdom and probably would’ve used them, but if the past day was anything to go by, what I really needed was Luck and Sexual Stamina.
It may sound stupid, and it probably was, if only a little bit, but I knew jacking up those two skills in particular would prove incredibly useful.
Case in point…
“Well, isn’t that something?” Val remarked as she and MJ made their way into my room, the soldier’s eyes looking up and down the bed.
“Hello there,” I said with a charming smirk, pocketing my CredCard and sitting up as I did, “I take it you found the armory easy enough?”
“We did,” Val replied as she slowly made her way over to the dresser, “I hope you don’t mind, but I went ahead and found a spot for my gear in there.”
“Of course,” I scoffed, “far as I’m concerned, you’re a part of the crew.”
“Oh…” Val trailed off with mock disappointment as a ‘VALERIE TRELL and [UNKNOWN ENTITY] have joined your party’ appeared and almost instantly began to fade.
“Something the matter?” I asked semi-concernedly when Val didn’t elaborate.
“It’s just that I-” Val started then stopped when she got an offended look from MJ, “we thought that you might need a bit more… convincing.”
“Oh yeah?” I said, looking between the two girls as they came to meet a few feet in front of me, “Well, I suppose a little extra convincing couldn’t hurt.”
“Yeah?” Val asked, the two slowly stepping towards me.
“Yeah,” I replied with a confident nod, “I mean, you’re a part of the crew, but what about fridge space? Shower times? Sleeping arrangements? These are all things that we really should hammer out.”
“Well then,” Val said, sharing a playful smirk with MJ as they got to their knees in front of me, “shall we commence negotiations?”
“Yes,” I chuckled, fighting the urge to shudder and expose weakness as the girls’ hands ran up my thighs, “lets.”
I have trouble putting into words the degree to which I felt just wholly complete, like I was truly living my best life as I slid into what can only be described as the perfect way to cap off the perfect start to my new perfect way of life.
You know what? Fuck subtlety.
Subtlety is for the wholesome and good, for the righteous and just, for the boring and vanilla.
My life: awesome.
My crew: awesome.
My ship: awesome.
My smarmy cunt of an AI: awesome.
Me: awesome.
I’m awesome and fuck you if you think otherwise.
The End
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