Unbelievable!

by Paul Jennings

  Now I could get what I came for. I could take a photo. I stood on a smooth rock and snapped away with my camera. This was the evidence that would save Grandad. I took about ten photos before my foot slipped and the torch and camera spun into the air. I heard them clatter onto the dragon’s pile of junk. The torch blinked as it landed and then flicked out. I was in pitch blackness. Alone with a dead dragon.

  I felt my way carefully forward trying to find the camera. The rock on which I had stood was not a rock at all. It was a smooth type of box with rounded corners. I felt it carefully with my fingers, then I started to grope my way forward. I had to find the camera and the torch but in my heart I knew that it was impossible. They were somewhere among the dragon’s junk. Somewhere under his rotting bones. I knew I would never find either of them in the dark.

  As I started to grope around in the rubbish I bumped into an old oil drum. It clattered down the heap making a terrible clacking as it went.

  Suddenly I felt the damp ground tremble. The noise had loosened the roof of the cave. Pieces of rock and stone started to fall from above. The cave was collapsing. The earth shook as huge boulders fell from the roof above. I had to get out before I was buried alive. I stumbled back through the rubbish to the tunnel and fought my way through the piles of bones. I often hit my head on a rock or slipped on the slimy floor. I could hear an enormous crashing and squelching coming from behind. Suddenly a roaring filled the air and a blast of air sent me skidding down the corkscrew passage. The whole roof of the cavern must have fallen in.

  I skidded down the slippery tube on my backside. The floor was rough and the seat was ripped out of my pants as I tumbled down and down.

  At last I landed upside down at the bottom. I was aching all over and although I couldn’t see anything I knew I must be bleeding.

  A bouncing noise was coming from above. Something was tumbling down after me. Before I could move, a hard, rubbery object crashed into me and knocked me down. It was the smooth box-thing that I had stood on.

  I just sat there in the gurgling water and cried. It had all been in vain. I had seen the remains of the dragon and taken the photo. But the camera and the dragon and his rubbishy treasure were all buried under tonnes of rock. The dragon was gone for ever and so was Grandad’s hope of getting out of the nursing home. There was no proof that the dragon had ever lived.

  5

  I could feel the box-thing move off down the drain. It was floating. I decided to follow it downstream and I think that it probably saved my life. By following the floating cube I was able to find my way back without a torch.

  At last – wet, cold and miserable – I emerged into the early morning daylight. The whole adventure had been for nothing. Everyone would still think that Grandad was crazy and I was the only one who knew he wasn’t. All I had to show for my efforts was the rubbery cube. I had no proof that a dragon had once lived in the drain.

  I looked at the cube carefully. It looked like a huge dice out of a game of Trivial Pursuit except it had no spots on it. It was heavy and coloured red. I could see it had no lid. It was solid, not hollow. I decided to show it to Grandad.

  I carried the cube back home and had a shower. Mum had gone to work. I got into some clean clothes and went round to the nursing home. The mean-eyed nurse sat in her glass prison warder ’s box at the end of the corridor.

  ‘Well,’ she said sarcastically, ‘where is your dragon photo?’

  ‘I haven’t got one,’ I said sadly, ‘but I have got this.’ I held up the cube.

  ‘What is it?’ she snapped.

  ‘It’s from the dragon’s cave,’ I said weakly.

  ‘You nasty little boy,’ she replied. ‘Don’t think your lies are going to get the old man out. You make sure that when you leave that smelly box leaves too.’

  I went down to Grandad’s room. His face lit up when he saw me but it soon grew sad as he listened to my story.

  ‘I’m finished, Chris,’ he said. ‘Now I will never be able to prove my story. I’m stuck here for life.’

  We both sat and stared miserably at the cube. Suddenly Grandad sat up in bed. ‘Wait a minute,’ he said. ‘I’ve read about something like that in a book.’ He pointed at the cube. ‘I think I know what it is.’ He was smiling.

  As he spoke, I noticed a crack appearing up one side. With a sudden snap the whole thing broke in half and a little dragon jumped out.

  ‘It’s a dragon’s egg,’ shouted Grandad. ‘Dragon’s eggs are cube-shaped.’

  The little monster ran straight at my leg, snapping its teeth. It was hungry. I jumped up on the bed with Grandad and we both laughed. Its teeth were sharp.

  The dragon was purple with green teeth. Smoke was coming out of its ears.

  ‘I’m getting out of here,’ said Grandad. ‘They can’t keep me now. We can prove I saw a dragon in the drain. This little fellow didn’t come from nowhere. I’m free at last.’

  ‘Hooray,’ I shouted at the top of my voice. ‘It really is a dragon.’

  Just then I heard the clip, clop sound of Nurse Gribble’s shoes. The little dragon stood still and sniffed. He was looking at the door. He could smell food.

  Nurse Gribble stepped into the room and started to speak. ‘There’s no such thing …’ Her voice turned into a shriek as the tiny new-born dragon galloped across the room and clamped its teeth onto her leg. ‘Help,’ she screamed. ‘Help, help. Get it off. Get it off. A horrible little dragon. It’s biting me.’ She hopped from one side of the room to the other with the dragon clinging on to her leg tightly with its teeth. She yelled and screamed and jumped but the dragon would not let go.

  Grandad headed for the door carrying his suitcase.

  Nurse Gribble started to shriek. ‘Don’t go, don’t go. Don’t leave me alone with this dragon.’

  Grandad looked at her. ‘Don’t be silly,’ he said. ‘There’s no such thing as a dragon.’

  Inside Out

  ‘What did you get?’ asked my sister Mary, looking at the video cassette in my hand.

  ‘Chainsaw Murder,’ I answered.

  ‘You ratbag,’ she screamed. ‘You promised you would get something nice. You know I can’t stand those horrible shows. I’m not watching some terrible movie about people getting cut up with chainsaws. And it was my turn. It was my turn to choose. You said you would get a love story if I let you choose.’

  ‘It is a love story,’ I told her. ‘It’s about a bloke who cuts up the girl he loves with a ch …’

  ‘Don’t give me that,’ she butted in. ‘It’s another of those bloodthirsty, spooky, scary horror shows. You know I can’t watch them. You know I can’t sleep for weeks after I see one of them.’ Her voice was getting louder and louder and fake tears started rolling down her face. She was hoping that Mum would hear her and come and tell me off.

  ‘It’s no use yelling,’ I said. ‘Mum and Dad are out. They won’t be back until two o’clock in the morning. They’ve gone out to the movies.’

  ‘I’ll get you for this,’ she said in a real mean voice. ‘You just wait.’ She went out of the room and slammed the door behind her. What a sister. Mary was the biggest sook I had ever met. If the slightest scary thing came on the screen she would close her eyes and cover up her ears. She just couldn’t take it. Not like me. I wasn’t scared of anything. The creepier the show, the better I liked it. I wouldn’t even have been scared if I met a real ghost. Things like that just made me laugh.

  I put the cassette into the video player and sat down to enjoy the show. It was even better than I expected. It started off looking through a window at a bloke starting up a chainsaw. Suddenly the window was spattered in blood and you couldn’t see through it. The whole movie was filled with dead bodies, skeletons coming up out of graves, ghosts with no heads and people getting cut up with chainsaws. It was great. I had never had such a good laugh in all my life.

  After about an hour I started to feel hungry. I went over to the pantry and made myself a peanut butter, Vegemite, banan
a and pickle sandwich. I wanted to put on a bit of mustard but I couldn’t find any. While I was searching around for it I heard Mary come into the room. ‘Changed your mind?’ I asked without looking up. ‘What’s the matter? Are you scared up there all on your own in the bedroom?’

  Then I heard a terrible sound. Mary had pushed the EJECT button on the video player. As quick as a flash she whipped out the cassette and ran out of the room with it. The little monster had nicked it. The terrible deed was done in a second. She was quicker than the villain in Graveyard Robber (a really good video about a freak who stole corpses). I ran up the stairs after her but I was too late. Mary slammed her bedroom door and locked it.

  I banged on the door with my fists. ‘Give that tape back, you creep. It’s just up to the good bit where the maggots come out of the grave.’

  ‘No way,’ she said through the locked door. ‘I’m not giving it back. I can hear all the screaming and groaning and creepy music from up here and I’m scared. I’ll give you the video back if you go and change it for Love Story.’

  ‘Love Story!’ I shouted. ‘Never. I’m not watching that mush.’

  ‘I’m scared, Gordon,’ she said. ‘Please take it back.’ How pathetic. She sounded just like the helpless woman in I Married A Cannibal Chief, a ripper movie with lots of gory bits about a bloke with a big appetite.

  Mary was scared because Mum and Dad were out. That give me an idea.

  ‘Give that tape back,’ I said. ‘Or I’m going out and leaving you here on your own.’ There was no reply. She was being really stubborn so I turned round and walked down the stairs. I was mad at her because I really wanted to see the rest of that movie.

  Just as I reached the front door she appeared at the top of the stairs. ‘Come back, Gordon. Please come back. I’ll be frightened here all on my own.’ I kept going. She had left it too late and it was time for her to be taught a lesson.

  2

  As I walked down the dark street I laughed to myself. Mary was really wet. She was scared of her own shadow. She would really be freaking out alone in the house. I had a good laugh and then I started to wonder why she got so scared. I mean, I wasn’t scared of anything. I had even watched The Eyes Of The Creeping Dead without one shiver. And yet Mary, my own flesh and blood, was exactly the opposite.

  I started to think about all the horror movies I had ever seen. There wasn’t one that had spooked me. Why, even if one of them had come true I wouldn’t have worried. I was so used to seeing creepy things that a real ghost wouldn’t have scared me. I would just tell it to buzz off without a second thought.

  I walked past the ‘All Night Video Shop’ and down a dark lane. The moon was in and it was hard to see where I was going. Mary would have been terrified but not me. I almost hoped that something creepy would happen. I walked on and on through the night into a new neighbourhood. The houses started to thin out until at last I was on a country track which wound its way amongst the trees.

  After a short while I came to something I had not expected to find out there in the bush. A letter box. It was old and battered and stood at the edge of the narrow track leading off into the dark trees. I decided to follow the track and see where it went.

  The track led to an old tumble-down house. I could see it quite clearly because the moon had come out. Its tin roof was rusty and falling in. Blackberry bushes grew on the verandah and all of the windows were broken. The front door was hanging off its hinges so there was nothing to stop me entering. I made my way into the front room. There in one corner was an old wooden bed. It had no mattress but it was a bed all the same. I was feeling tired so I staggered over to it and lay down. I wasn’t scared. Not a bit. I decided that I would stay in this old shack and not go home until just before Mum and Dad got back. That would teach Mary a lesson.

  I closed my eyes and lay there pretending I was the hero out of Dark House Of Death. I was a ghost hunter. I was invincible. Nothing could hurt me. At least that was how I was feeling at the time. That’s why I hardly batted an eyelid when the candle came floating over.

  3

  Yes, a candle. A lighted candle. It just floated across the room and hovered next to the bed. I did nothing. I simply gazed at it with detachment. It came closer until it was only a few centimetres from my face. I took a deep breath and blew it out. I thought I heard a gasp. Then the whole thing disappeared.

  I turned over on my side and pretended to be asleep (a trick I had seen in a movie called Blood In The Attic). After a short while I heard a soft clinking sound coming from the next room. I ignored it. It grew into a rattling and then a clanking but still I took no notice. Then it became so loud it shook the floor and hurt my ears. ‘Quiet,’ I yelled. ‘Can’t a boy get a bit of sleep in here.’ The terrible din stopped at once.

  I knew something else was going to happen and I wasn’t wrong. A moment later a green mist floated through the window and formed itself into a dim, ghostly haze that wafted to and fro across the room. ‘You shouldn’t smoke in here,’ I said. ‘You might set the place on fire.’ The mist twirled itself around into a spiral and left the room through a knothole. This was great. This was good. It was just like what happened in Spectre Of The Lost Lagoon.

  What happened next was a bit more creepy. I’m not denying that, but I decided I was handling the situation the right way. Whatever or whoever it was wanted me to go screaming off into the night. I decided to keep playing it cool. A huge pair of lips appeared and started to open and shut, showing nasty yellow teeth. Next, a pair of bloodshot eyes appeared, floating just above the lips. From out of the mouth came an enormous, forked tongue, dripping with saliva. The tongue licked its lips and then wormed its way over to me.

  ‘Halitosis,’ I managed to say. It obviously didn’t know what halitosis was because it remained there, hovering in front of my face like a snake about to strike. ‘Bad breath,’ I translated. ‘You’ve got bad breath. Just like the giant pig in Razorback.’ I thought I heard another small sob just before the whole lot vanished. I wondered if I had hurt its feelings.

  The next apparition consisted of a human skull with staring, empty eye sockets. ‘Old hat,’ I said. ‘You’ll have to do better than that.’ Blood started to drip out of one eye. ‘Still not good enough,’ I told it. ‘I saw that one in a movie called Rotting Skull.’

  The other bones appeared and the whole skeleton began to dance up and down the room, twisting and turning as if to a wild beat. ‘Not very cool,’ I remarked a little unkindly. ‘That went out years ago. Can’t you do rap dancing?’

  That last remark was too cutting. The spook just couldn’t take it.

  The skeleton sat down on a rickety chair and changed into a small ghost. It was the figure of a punk rocker. He was completely transparent and dressed in a leather jacket which was covered in studs. He also wore tight jeans and had a safety pin through his nose. He had a closely shaved head with a pink, mohawk hairdo.

  4

  He looked at me and then hung his head in his hands and shed a few tears. ‘It ain’t no use,’ he wailed. ‘I can’t even put the frighteners onto a school boy. I’m doomed. I’m a failure.’

  ‘If you will kindly go away and be quiet, I’ll leave at one o’clock,’ I told him. ‘All I want is a bit of peace.’

  He shook his head. ‘You can’t go. I need you for me exam. If I pass you can clear out – if yer still alive that is. But if I fail me exam, you’ll have to go into suspended animation until the next one.’

  ‘When is that?’ I asked.

  ‘Same time next year.’

  ‘No thanks,’ I replied. ‘I have to get back to look after my little sister. She’s at home alone and she gets scared. As a matter of fact I think I’ll leave now.’ I tried to stand up but I couldn’t. It was just as if unseen hands were holding me down.

  ‘See,’ he said. ‘I aren’t lettin’ you go anywhere. You stay here wiv me. If I pass me exam you can go. If not – cold storage for you until next year.’ The safety pin in his nose waggled a
round furiously as he spoke.

  I could move my mouth but nothing else. ‘I have to go,’ I told him. ‘I can’t stay here for a year. I’ve made a booking for a video called Jack The Ripper for tomorrow night.’

  ‘Yer better help me pass then,’ he said.

  ‘What do you have to do?’

  ‘The Senior Spook is comin’. I have to scare a victim, namely you. If it’s scary enough, he passes me. If it’s not, he fails me. But it don’t look good. You don’t scare easy. You just sit there givin’ mouthfuls o’ cheek no matter what I do. I must say it looks bad fer bof ov us. If I don’t give you a good fright I won’t pass me exam and if I don’t pass me exam we’ll bof have to stay here until the same time next year.’

  ‘I’ll fake it,’ I yelled. ‘I’ll pretend I’m scared. Then you’ll pass your exam and I can go.’

  He shook his head sadly. ‘No good. The Senior Spook is very experienced. That’s how he got to the top. He can pick up vibes. He’ll know if you’re not really scared.’

  ‘Let me loose,’ I said. ‘I’ll help you think of something. You could try something out of Terror At Midnight.’

  ‘Yer won’t nick orf, will ya?’ he said, looking at me suspiciously.

  ‘I promise.’

  The unseen hands released me and I started to pace around the room. I thought of Mary. She would be frightened for sure but there was no way that this little punk ghost would be able to scare me.

  ‘Have you seen the movie Night Freak?’ I said. ‘That had some good ideas in it.’

  ‘No, I missed that one,’ he said. ‘Now quick, sit on the bed. Here comes the Boss. Our exam is about to begin.’