Letters From a Patchwork Quilt

by Clare Flynn

  ‘She told us it was you because that is the truth. She has been brought up to have no secrets in the eyes of God, to honour her parents and to always speak the truth,’ said MacBride. ‘I curse the day I ever opened the doors of this house to you. I let a viper into the heart of my family. I let a snake corrupt the innocence of my only child.’

  The priest was pacing up and down in front of the french windows. He turned now and addressed them both. ‘This blame throwing must stop now. We need to make the best of this matter. Tom, you know she’ll never have another opportunity. She was destined for spinsterhood. Look on the bright side. The girl will be off your hands. If they marry as soon as possible we can get them away from here and no one will be any the wiser about the child being conceived out of wedlock.’

  MacBride glared at Jack. ‘I hate to think of this piece of scum getting rewarded with my daughter after what he’s done.’

  Jack could take no more. Enough. He had to stand up for himself. ‘I won’t marry your daughter, sir. Not on any account. I have told you on my honour that I have not done what you accuse me of. I plan to marry another woman and cannot go along with this. I am truly sorry about what has happened to Miss MacBride, but it has nothing to do with me.’

  The priest landed another blow on his head, sending him reeling and causing him to trip over the grate. He stayed down on all fours, tucking his head between his arms as the priest began raining kicks upon him.

  ‘That’s enough.’ Thomas MacBride got up from the desk. ‘I don’t want him going to the altar in a wheelchair. We have to make the best of the situation now.’

  ‘You’re right, Tom.’ The priest fell back into his chair and ran his hands over the top of his shiny scalp. ‘I have an idea,’ he said. ‘My cousin has a parish in the north of England in Middlesbrough. The school there is bigger than St Bridget's. I’ll write and tell him to find a post for Brennan here. I’ll say they’ve been married six months already. No one will be any the wiser. You’ll have to give them some money to see them settled, but once they’re gone you won’t need to set eyes on the pair of them again.’

  The panic was rising. Jack wanted to scream. He felt as though he was being shut up in a dark, locked room with no exit. His words rushed out in a torrent. ‘You can’t do that, Father. It’s not right. I can’t marry Miss MacBride. I have no feelings for her. I love someone else. I’m happy teaching at the school here. Sister Callista is very satisfied with my progress. I don’t want to go to Middlesbrough. I want to stay here and marry Miss Hewlett.’ As he said the words he knew they were the truest he had ever spoken in his life.

  ‘Your wishes are of no interest to me. If it were up to me you’d be cast out to starve on the streets. We have only the interests of that poor, silly girl to think of. So you can shut your mouth. I will prepare a letter of resignation for you to sign and convey to Sister Callista. And I will call the banns this week.’ The priest looked at Jack as though he were shit on the sole of his shoe.

  MacBride spoke again. ‘Once you are married you will take my daughter away and I don’t want to see either of you again as long as I live. I don’t want to see her child either, so don’t come to me asking for money or begging forgiveness. I’ll give you thirty guineas, then you’re to be gone from my life for ever.’

  Then it dawned on Jack. MacBride had wanted his daughter off his hands all along. Nothing Jack could say or do would make any difference.

  When at last he was released, Jack ran all the way to school. He was late. His heart was pounding and he gulped in air as though starved of oxygen. He wanted to keep on running. Running for his life. Running away from Virginia Lodge. Running towards Eliza. Oh, Eliza, my Eliza. What can I tell you? Please believe me. What shall I do? How did I let this happen? Help me, my love, help me.

  The letter for Sister Callista was in his pocket. Maybe he could enlist her help? Tell her everything and perhaps prevail upon her to intercede with Mary Ellen’s father and the parish priest.

  His thoughts went back to Eliza. How could he expect her to believe him? Even if he were able to get out of marrying Mary Ellen, he’d never be able to convince Eliza to marry him after this. His reputation would be destroyed. Whichever way he looked at the situation it was a complete and utter mess. His life was in ruins. He looked up to the cloudy sky as he ran and called on the Blessed Virgin to help him.

  Somehow Jack waited until after the morning class, impatient to find a solution to his problems but fearful of the reaction he would get from Sister Callista and from Eliza. It was hard to concentrate during the lessons as the panic was ever present. His stomach kept churning and he felt shivers running up and down his arms. Once the monitors had tidied away the slates and cleaned the blackboard, he went to see Sister Callista. She motioned to him to sit at one of the children’s desks and she took up a place beside him.

  ‘What’s wrong, Mr Brennan? Nothing amiss between you and Miss Hewlett, I trust?’ She smiled and her eyes were full of kindness.

  Jack felt a lump in his throat. He swallowed, coughed, then fiddled with the threadbare cuffs of his shirt.

  ‘I have a problem.’

  ‘Well, what is it they say? A problem shared is a problem halved.’ She laid her hand over his. ‘What is it?’

  ‘I’m in love with Miss Hewlett.’

  ‘That seems to me a very nice problem to have. I think you make a delightful couple.’

  ‘That’s just it though. We can’t marry.’

  ‘If you both put aside as much of your salary as you can – and the school board has talked about increasing the stipend next year – in a few more years I’m sure you’ll have enough saved to see you through. Can’t you wait that long?’

  ‘It’s not the money. I can’t marry Eliza – Miss Hewlett – because Father O’Driscoll and Mr MacBride say I have to marry Mary Ellen.’

  The headmistress frowned. ‘Have to marry her?’

  He nodded, but avoided her eyes.

  ‘Do you mean to say she is in a certain delicate condition?’

  He nodded again then quickly added, ‘It’s nothing to do with me, Sister. I swear I’ve never laid a hand on her.’

  ‘I believe you. I know you well enough – Eliza too – to know that you two have eyes only for each other. So why do they expect you to marry her?’

  He told her what had happened in MacBride’s study that morning.

  ‘I see’ she said again, then cupped her chin with her two hands and stared into the middle distance. ‘And do you know who is responsible for Miss MacBride’s plight?’

  Jack told her about the encounter in the alleyway.

  ‘Holy Mother of God.’ She crossed herself. ‘And Miss Hewlett?’

  ‘She doesn’t know.’

  ‘You love her?’

  ‘More than life itself.’

  ‘Yes I think you do, Mr Brennan. I think you do. And I expect she feels the same about you, doesn’t she?’

  He nodded, then gave a little choked cry. ‘Oh, dear God, what have I done?’

  ‘It sounds to me as though you have done nothing. Apart from perhaps being rather too discreet and respectful of poor Miss MacBride’s wishes. I can see I must help you. You and Miss Hewlett must go away from here. As quickly as possible and as far as possible. Go and fetch her now. When does Mr MacBride expect you home tonight?’

  ‘He has parish business every Tuesday. He doesn’t get home until after nine o’clock.’

  ‘Good. Now hurry, there’s no time to lose.’

  11

  Embarkation

  Eliza was still in her empty classroom, the children having departed for their dinner break. When Jack walked in she rushed over to embrace him, but he held at her arm’s length.

  ‘What’s wrong, Jack?’

  ‘You need to come with me to see Sister.’

  ‘Jack?’

  He took her by the arm and led her out of the room, ignoring her protests. He was so frightened he could barely breathe, terrified that once
she knew what had happened she would want no more to do with him.

  Sister Callista was waiting for them.

  ‘We have no time to spare. I know what Thomas MacBride is like when he’s set his mind to something,’ she said.

  ‘What’s going on? What’s happened?’ said Eliza.

  Jack threw a plaintive look at the headmistress. He couldn’t bear to break the news to Eliza. He prayed that she would realise the whole story was preposterous.

  Sister Callista reached out and clasped Eliza’s hands between hers. ‘Miss MacBride is expecting a child. She has told her father that Mr Brennan is responsible.’

  Eliza gasped and pulled her hands away. ‘That’s not true. I know my Jack. He wouldn’t. It’s impossible.’

  Jack breathed again.

  Sister Callista explained that Jack was expected by MacBride and the priest to marry the unfortunate girl.

  ‘No, Jack, you can’t do it. You can’t possibly marry her.’

  ‘I know. I’d die first.’

  ‘But why? Why is she blaming you? Who is the father?’

  The nun took charge again. ‘We don’t know. Mr Brennan saw her meeting a stranger but he doesn’t know who the man is. Probably a sailor. In port for just a few days then safely away on the high seas.’ She turned to explain to Eliza. ‘I think you are aware that Miss MacBride is a little slow-witted. The poor girl has been exploited – she has been over-trusting and naïve. It seems she’s grown wild in her ways since the tragic loss of her mother.’

  ‘But why blame Jack? Why you?’

  ‘Because I’m there, I suppose. Under the same roof. I’ve been helping her improve her reading and writing and her father has made too much of that and has concluded that we’ve become, you know, close.’

  ‘That’s horrible.’ Eliza looked at the headmistress. ‘I know my Jack – he’d never take advantage of anyone. He loves me as much as I love him – and that’s more than anything else in this life.’ To Jack she said, ‘They can’t force you to marry her. I’ll speak to Father O’Driscoll and tell him the truth – that we love each other and plan to marry as soon as possible.’

  ‘No!’ Sister Callista and Jack spoke in unison.

  ‘I’ve told him that already,’ Jack said, ‘and it’s served only to anger him further. They’ve hatched a plan for me to marry her and remove with her to another part of the country so the child can be born with no one there aware that it was conceived out of wedlock.’

  ‘And you, Jack? What do you want?’

  He looked away from her. ‘You don’t need to ask me that, Eliza. You know that as well as I do.’

  The nun leaned forward and placed her hand on the girl’s arm. ‘I have told Jack I’m going help you both. Being forced into a loveless marriage is counter to the teachings of the church and not something I will sanction.’

  Sister Callista hesitated for a moment, as if weighing up whether to say more, then continued. ‘Years ago, when I was about your age, Eliza, I lost the man I loved. My father refused permission for me to marry and took me away from Ireland. I was an obedient daughter and had no money of my own and believed I had no choice but to comply. We swore to each other that one day we would be reunited. That is what sustained me.’

  The nun patted the fabric of her habit absently, lost in her thoughts for a moment. Her face was suffused with sadness. ‘When, after the death of my father, I returned to Ireland to find Angus, I discovered he had died in the famine.’ She closed her eyes and crossed herself. ‘That’s why I never married and chose the church. My vocation, such as it is, came late and has been a consolation to me in my loss. I don’t want to see the two of you torn apart as we were. I am going to assist you, so help me God.’

  ‘But, Sister, you’ll be in trouble if they find out you’ve helped us,’ said Eliza.

  ‘What can they do to me? I can’t be hurt any more.’ Her face reflected the pain she must have suffered all those years ago, but she had a look of defiance, as if she was ready for battle and relishing the prospect. ‘With both of you gone they can hardly sack me without having to close the school. And what are they going to do? Throw me out of the convent? I don’t think even Father O’Driscoll would go that far. I kept a small pot of money left me by my Daddy just in case things didn’t work out for me in the convent – something to see me through my twilight years. I should have handed it over to the reverend mother, but somehow I never got around to it. I’m afraid you’re finding out now that I’m far from being a model nun.’ She gave a dry little laugh. ‘But I like to think the Blessed Virgin was watching me kindly when I hid the money under the mattress. It will warm my heart to know I’ve helped you.’

  The woman held out both hands and took each of theirs so they were joined together in a small circle. ‘Now let’s say a quick Hail Mary for her upstairs to look out for you, then I’ll explain the plan.’

  An hour later, Jack and Eliza were standing side-by-side, hand in hand, on the platform at Temple Meads railway station, waiting for the train to Liverpool where they planned to buy a passage on a steamer to America. They had no luggage – just the clothes they stood up in and the bagful of cash the headmistress had given them to pay for their onward journey.

  Every few moments they turned their heads to look at each other. Jack felt an overwhelming tenderness and gratitude to Eliza, for her unshakable belief in him and her calm acceptance of their altered future. At first they had tried to refuse the nun’s offer of money, but the woman was adamant. She told them that knowing she had helped them to find happiness together would bring joy to her own heart and that she wished someone had been there to make a similar offer to her all those years ago in Ireland.

  The only way to leave for America directly from Bristol would have been on a small merchant ship – too risky as Mr MacBride ran his business out of the Bristol dockyards and they could have had a lengthy wait until finding a boat prepared to take them. Going from Liverpool meant being among many hundreds of others emigrating on the passenger liners. It would be easy to lose themselves in the crowd.

  It was nearing nightfall when they reached Liverpool and went straight to the shipping line offices. A fellow passenger on the train between Crewe and Liverpool had warned them that they might have to wait up to ten days to secure a place onboard, but luck was with them and they procured steerage passages to New York for two days hence.

  ‘We must be careful not to waste the money Sister gave us,’ said Eliza. When Jack told her he was putting her in a boarding house, but planned to spend the night himself sleeping on a bench at the Pier Head, she protested. ‘I’m going nowhere without you, Jack, not any more. Either you come with me to the lodging house or I sleep beside you on the bench.’

  They settled on the lodging house, but neither got much sleep. The place was crowded, the dormitories filled with other emigrants, many of them foreigners, passing through Liverpool, most like them en route to America. It was like the Tower of Babel, with chatter in so many languages, people excited but fearful about their coming journeys.

  After a sleepless night, lying fully clothed on straw mattresses on the floor of their separate dormitories, they set off next morning to provision for the voyage ahead. They bought a change of clothing, soap, dry biscuits and a pair of blankets. Afterwards, they sat with their feet dangling over the edge of the dock watching the gulls soar above them as they bit into bread and cheese. They held hands and talked, wondering what the future would bring them, curious about what lay ahead of them in America.

  ‘I never intended it to be like this,’ said Jack. ‘Having to scuttle away as though we’ve done something wrong. I feel bad, forcing you to go on the run with me as if we were criminals.’

  Eliza looked at him, her face lit up with a radiant smile. ‘Don’t feel bad, Jack. I’m glad, really glad, that this has happened. We might have had to wait for years before we could marry. Now we can do it as soon as we get to America. I’m excited about the future, about spending the rest of my li
fe with you and going to America.’ She squeezed his hand.

  Jack bent over and planted a kiss on top of her head. She leaned into him, resting her head against his shoulder. He thrilled at the warmth of her body against his and put his arm around her, drawing her closer.

  They were silent for a few minutes then she asked, ‘What do you suppose America will be like?’

  ‘Didn’t you tell me it’s the land of opportunity? People who never amounted to much over here go on to become rich and powerful there. Everyone’s supposed to get a fair chance.’

  ‘I’m not sure I’d like my Jack to be rich and powerful. He might not have time for his girl then. He might think he can do better for himself.’

  ‘Never. Not in a million years. I could never do better than Eliza Hewlett and I can’t wait to call you Eliza Brennan.’

  They sat holding hands in the fading light until the shadows lengthened and they made their way back to their lodging house.

  ‘This time tomorrow we’ll be boarding the ship and the day after we’ll be sailing away.’ He took her in his arms and kissed her. He had ever been happier.

  The crew were readying the ship for departure and all the passengers were on board and settling in – the well-heeled to their cabins and the less affluent, like Jack and Eliza, setting their pitches in steerage. The third class zone of the ship was stark, cramped and poorly ventilated, with bunks down each side and tables lined down the middle. They staked their claim to bunks, Jack’s in the single men’s section in the bows of the ship and Eliza with the women and children in the stern. Then after being dished out cups of lukewarm weak tea, they went out onto the crowded promenade deck, eager to watch Liverpool, England and all their troubles fade away into the distance as they embarked on their journey to a new life.