Letters From a Patchwork Quilt

by Clare Flynn

  She told him that she had been separated from her travelling companion during embarkation. ‘I’m so relieved that they are going to send me back.’

  ‘Don’t be so sure of it. First they have to persuade the shipping company to take you. And if the shipping company can show that they checked you had enough money when you got on board, they’ll like as not refuse.’

  ‘What happens then?’ She swallowed and looked around her at the insalubrious crew of people in the holding pen.

  ‘In the end they’ll probably agree to send you back to where you came from, Ma’am. But it could be days. Weeks even.’

  ‘So what will I do till then?’

  ‘If no one claims you, you’ll be sent to the penitentiary. Waiting on the British consul to visit and arrange for you to be repatriated. But you’ll stay here tonight as you’ve missed the transit.’

  ‘What? Here? Locked up? Where will I sleep?’

  ‘We’ll give you a blanket. Most of this lot will be out of here as soon as their money comes. Most of them had it sent from family elsewhere in the United States or have relatives who haven’t turned up to meet them yet. It’s often like this on a Saturday. Lots of them get drunk and forget to get out of bed to meet the ship.’ He laughed and wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. ‘If I were you, lady, I’d make myself a bit more comfortable and sit on the floor. It’s going to be a long night.’

  She was close to panic again. What was she doing here? What had she done to deserve this? She wanted to hammer her fists into the wall and scream. It was a nightmare that seemed without end. No one here cared. She was completely alone. She hated to feel self pity but she couldn’t help it. It just wasn’t fair. She had done nothing wrong. Why had this happened to her? When would it end? How would it end?

  She looked around her, saw that the floor looked as though it was regularly swept, so took her jailor’s advice and tried to doze off, leaning against the wall of the holding pen and trying to keep a distance between herself and the other inmates. Unable to sleep, her head buzzing with inchoate thoughts, her stomach churning and her skin shivering, she realised she was hungry. Not surprising as she hadn’t eaten since a meagre breakfast on board. She called to the guard and asked if she could get something to eat.

  ‘Fifty cents for a sausage in a bread roll. They’ll be round in a few minutes.’

  ‘I only have English money.’

  The guard nodded towards a sign on the other side of the large rotunda. Currency exchange.

  ‘I didn’t get a chance to exchange my money before they put me in here. Could I go and change it now?’

  ‘How much you got?’

  She held out her few shillings.

  ‘Tell you what, angel, you can have one on me. Welcome to New York.’

  He gestured to one of the food sellers, walking around the immigration hall. She devoured the hot sausage in a bread roll as though it were her first meal in days.

  ‘Thank you for that,’ she said, wiping the warm grease from her chin with her handkerchief.

  ‘You’re all right, angel. I have a kid not much younger than you. Like to think someone would look out for her if she got into trouble.’

  As time wore on, the rotunda began to empty, as each shipload of immigrants was processed and released into New York, to make their ways onward into the city and beyond into the vastness of the American continent. The sunlight through the glass roof was replaced by a gloom as the day turned to dusk.

  Eliza struggled to fight down tears. How had it come to this? She wanted to curse Jack Brennan for disrupting the peaceful, happy tedium of her life in Bristol. For making her fall in love with him. For making her willing to give up everything and go with him to the other side of the ocean. For abandoning her and leaving her penniless in a strange country, surrounded by strangers. But she couldn’t curse him. Not when with every fibre of her being she wanted him. Not when she knew his only crime was being too trusting and too kind. Where was he now? What was he doing? Had he been able to free himself? Might he perhaps be already steaming across the Atlantic to join her? She tried so hard to believe he was, but her heart knew that he wasn’t. Something deep inside her acknowledged that she would never see him again. By now he might even be married to Mary Ellen. Would they be there when she eventually arrived back in Bristol? She didn’t think she could bear the thought of seeing him with her. But the prospect of never seeing him at all was even worse.

  The iron-barred door opened and her guard stood there, his wide, black face creased by a smile. ‘Well, Ma’am, looks like you do have friends in America after all. You’re released. Free to go.’

  Eliza scrambled to her feet, pulling the shawl she had been sitting on, around her shoulders. ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Your funds have arrived. You can collect them at the booth over there then you’re free to go. It’s been a pleasure to meet you, Ma’am. You’re a nice lady.’

  Bemused, she shook his proffered hand.

  He gave her a scrap of paper. ‘Here’s the address of a lodging place. It’s not fancy but it’s clean. You won’t find better for $3 a month. Tell them I sent you. It should tide you over till you find work.’

  She looked up at him, smiling. ‘Thank you so much. You have been so kind and I don’t even know your name.’

  ‘You’re welcome, angel. And it’s Clarence.’

  ‘Eliza.’

  She walked unsteadily back into the main rotunda, passing the now almost deserted booths of the railway agents, the boarding house keepers and the labour exchange. A voice called out her name from a booth at the side. The man behind it placed a piece of paper in front of her and told her to sign it, then he counted out fifty dollars and pushed them towards her.

  ‘What’s this?’

  ‘Your funds have arrived.’

  ‘What funds?’

  ‘The money you’ve been expecting.’

  ‘I wasn’t expecting money. Who sent it?’ Her heart leapt inside her ribcage as she realised Jack must have telegraphed the money to her. ‘Was there a message with it?’

  ‘Look, lady, I want to get home. That’s all there is. Take your money and get out of here. Welcome to the United States.’

  She put the cash inside her purse and headed uncertainly towards the exit, emerging into the open air. America.

  15

  Five Points

  Dr Feigenbaum was leaning on his ebony walking stick and he raised his hat to her as she approached. She stopped short, too angry to speak. He smiled at her, his eyes shining behind his round-rimmed spectacles.

  ‘What have you done?’ Eliza almost spat the words at him and felt her body shaking with anger. ‘They were going to send me back. Back to England.’

  ‘I waited for you and when you didn’t emerge with the rest of the passengers, I made some enquiries and they told me you had been detained and were to be deported.’

  ‘Precisely!’

  ‘But that would have been terrible when you have come so far.’ His face was puzzled and he stroked his beard as though that would bring him some kind of revelation.

  ‘You know that my fiancé was taken from the ship. This was my chance to get back to him. Now you’ve ruined everything.’ She fought back the tears of anger and disappointment. Why wasn’t it Jack who had sent the money and delivered her from detention? Why had he sent no word?.

  ‘That was certainly not my intention, my dear. When I heard you had been placed in a caged cell with some very undesirable people I could not possibly stand by. They told me there was no certainty how long you would be held there and that you would likely be moved to a detention centre on an island in the Hudson River. How could I permit you to endure that, Miss Hewlett?’

  Tears of frustration filled her eyes and she brushed them away with a gloved hand. ‘What am I going to do now?’ She looked around her. ‘I have no money. I know no one.’ She opened her handbag and took out the dollar bills and held them out to him.

  He waved
them away. ‘The money is for you, Miss Hewlett. And you are not alone.’

  ‘I can’t possibly accept your money and I don’t know you. I don’t understand what you want with me. Take it back, please.’ She thrust the dollar bills at him, but he stepped backwards and put his hands up.

  ‘I fear I have distressed you. That is the last thing I want. Please look on this money as a small gift from a lonely old man who only wants to help you.’

  ‘You can’t go around making gifts to strange women like that.’

  ‘But I am not, as you say, going around making gifts to strange women. You are the only woman I know here in America and I make this gift to you and you alone. It is given without conditions and I expect no repayment. But you must accept it. You won’t get far with just a few dollars. You have nowhere to live and no employment. The money is just a small sum to help you get on your feet.’

  Around them a crowd of people had gathered and Eliza was aware that the bundle of dollar bills in her hand was attracting attention. She felt someone take hold of her arm.

  ‘Nice, clean lodgings, Ma’m. Only ten dollars a month. Best you’ll find in town. Nice respectable place. Follow me’ said a woman with a strange-sounding accent.

  Eliza jerked her arm away, but a man appeared, taking hold of her other arm.

  ‘You wanna train ticket, lady? I’ll take you and your bags to the station in Jersey City. Where you wanna go? Oklahoma? New Orleans?’

  Dr Feigenbaum stepped in front of them. ‘On your way. The lady is going nowhere. She is with me. On your way, please.’

  He took hold of her elbow. ‘Let us take a carriage and get away from this area. It is filled with people out to exploit newly arrived passengers. It is safer to conduct such business inside the immigration reception, where everything is overseen by the authorities. Come on. You must be hungry.’

  As he spoke, a hansom cab pulled up. Eliza hesitated, then realising that she was among the last of the arrivals and would be viewed as fair game by the circling vultures, she let him hand her up into the carriage.

  The driver deposited them outside a small Hungarian restaurant and her initial resistance to accepting more charity from Dr Feigenbaum was defeated by the aroma of goulash and the sight of steaming dumplings being conveyed to the waiting tables.

  They ate heartily and in silence. Eliza couldn’t remember when she had tasted food so good especially compared with the watery soups and slimy stews she had been forced to eat on board ship. When the doctor finished his meal, he wiped his mouth with a napkin, but failed to remove a spot of goulash on his white goatee beard, below his bottom lip. He had also managed to stain his waistcoat.

  She looked up at him and saw he was watching her intently.

  He spoke at last. ‘I know you may think this premature but I wish to make you an offer, Miss Hewlett. It appears we are both alone in this world and could do better were we to pool our resources.’

  She looked at him in surprise, her mouth open, struggling to find the right words to shut him up and make him stop.

  ‘Please, let me finish. I like you, Miss Hewlett. I like you very much. My days and nights since we met have been filled with thoughts of you. I have been unable to stop thinking of you, no matter how hard I have tried. I know you will think I am perhaps a little crazy. I think so myself. I have been struck by the coup de foudre. I never believed in such lightening bolts happening except in fairy stories but it has happened to me and I am powerless to resist.’

  She tried to interrupt but he took hold of her hand, his eyes still looking into hers with an intensity that made her look away.

  ‘I can provide for you. I ask nothing in return, other than that you give me a chance. Give me time. I am a lonely man, who had long since given up all hope of happiness and it would give me such joy to care for you. Please let me? It would be a new beginning for both of us – in the new world.’

  His voice trailed away and he took off his spectacles and polished them. She realised it was the beginnings of tears that had caused them to mist over. He coughed and appeared to pull himself together. ‘I have modest funds and am in retirement. I have enough to buy a small house and keep a carriage and a couple of servants.’

  ‘Stop. Please stop.’ She put up her hands, palms facing him to signal him to stop. ‘I don’t understand what you are proposing. I am not that kind of woman. You are mistaken.’

  ‘No. No. Of course you are not. Far from it. You misunderstand me. I am asking you to marry me, Miss Hewlett. I want you to become my wife.’

  She started to laugh. A hollow, empty laugh that bordered on hysteria.

  ‘I can’t marry you, Doctor. It’s absurd. You don’t know me.’ She pulled her hand from his grasp. ‘You have completely misconstrued my situation.’

  ‘I know I am not a young man, Miss Hewlett, but I can promise you I would make it my life’s work to care for you and to see you want for nothing. I do understand that I am not an enticing prospect for such a beautiful young woman. I am not handsome like your fiancé. All I can offer is stability, security and my unstinting love and devotion. I would expect nothing in return but your friendship and companionship. Then maybe with time, who knows, you might come to care for me just a little.’

  ‘Please, Doctor Feigenbaum. You don’t know me at all. You can’t possibly love me and I certainly don’t love you. I’ve already told you. I can’t marry you. I intend to return to England if Jack is unable to join me here. If you had not intervened I would have been able to get there a lot faster.’

  He looked at her soulfully with his big sad eyes, as though weighing her words. Eventually he said, ‘I never believed in love before but I have been under your spell since the moment I saw you and our further acquaintance, limited though it has been, has not altered that. And as for intervening to have you released, you have no idea what would have happened if you had stayed in that place. You could have been shut away for days, maybe even for weeks, among all kinds of dangerous and unscrupulous people. With no money. Not even enough for food. Who knows what might have befallen you? I had to step in. I could not stand by.’

  She shook her head. There was no point in arguing with him. It was done now.

  He looked down then raised his eyes to hers. ‘If you are unable to accept my proposal I do have an alternative offer to make to you.’ His voice was quiet, tentative, as though he was playing the last card in the pack. ‘Would you consider accompanying me to St Louis in another capacity, as my assistant?’

  She was about to speak but he placed a hand over hers. ‘Please let me explain. You are a teacher, Miss Hewlett, and an educated woman. I need someone to help me with the transcription of my life’s work. My hands have become stiffened with rheumatism and I find working with a pen is becoming every day more challenging.’ He held up his ink stained hands to her in evidence. ‘I am writing about the history of the brewing industry. Brewing has been the business of my family through three generations. I have made a long study of its origins and traditions and want to publish my findings before I die. My notes are very disordered and my eyesight is not what it once was either, so progress is slow. I think you would be the perfect person to assist me in this endeavour.

  ‘It was foolish of me to expect that my feelings for you could be reciprocated in such a short time. I was overcome. Overcome by you, Miss Hewlett. But I still want to help you. Please let me help you? Please help me too by doing this for me.’

  Eliza didn’t know what to say. She picked up her linen napkin and began pleating the edge of it. She was overwhelmed with embarrassment. The last thing she expected was the attentions of an elderly suitor. She didn’t even want to contemplate it. There was no room in her head for anyone other than Jack - and certainly no room in her heart. Then she began to feel angry. How dare this stranger presume to know her? How dare he think that she would even contemplate becoming his wife? How could he ask, knowing that she was distraught over the absence of Jack? But she knew the man’s intentions were go
od. He had been kind to her. He had lent her money. He had invited her to share his meal. He was probably a very lonely man. She decided to temper her words. ‘I am honoured that you have such confidence in me, Doctor Feigenbaum, although I have done nothing to merit it. I am very grateful for the kindness of your offer, but I have plans. I will stay here in New York, awaiting the arrival of my fiancé. I will find a teaching position or work as a governess and save. Should he be unable to join me here, I can return to him.’

  The old man shook his head. ‘If he does not come to you, my dear Miss Hewlett, there should be no question of you going to him. If a young man is not prepared to show the courage and commitment and make the necessary sacrifices to search for you, then he is not deserving of your love.’

  Eliza was outraged. She wanted to thump him.‘How dare you say such a thing?’

  ‘I say it because it is true. It is one thing to set off to a new world with your bride-to-be and quite another to embark on such a journey alone, uncertain as to whether the journey will prove fruitful. How will he find you?’

  ‘I will write to him. I will write tomorrow and every day. And every day I will visit the port to wait for the telegraph that he will send me.’

  ‘I see you are a very determined young lady. I just hope your young man is as resolute as you are.’

  ‘He is. He loves me.’

  ‘How wonderful to be so sure of another’s love. I am deeply envious of that young man and I hope he deserves the trust you place in him.’

  He turned away and stared out of the restaurant window into the lamp-lit street outside. ‘Well then, Miss Hewlett, what is to become of you now?’

  ‘If you are still prepared to lend some money to me I will borrow from you just sufficient to pay for my rent until I can find a teaching position. I will repay every penny, then save the money for my passage back to England.’

  ‘I see.’ He frowned.

  ‘Now I must go and find a place to stay. I have already taken far too much of your time.’