Dead Man's Carve (A Tickled to Death Mystery Book 1)

by Kym Roberts

  I looked at the pathetic excuse of a human being who was now looking to me for sympathy. His offensive tongue from the night before came to mind. “Yes, I would.”

  My garage was clearly marked with no trespass signs for all to see. He may have been lucky he didn’t die, but I’d be stupid not to make it very clear, he wasn’t welcome back on my property.

  “I’ll be back with the complaint for you to sign.” Stone and I moved out of the way for Officer Martin and his partner to walk out of my garage with the disgusting man I’d taken for dead, in between them. The stench of urine and body odor followed him, as he wiggled in an incessant display of stupidity.

  What could his actions possibly earn, other than more pain?

  Stone’s hands reached around my waist and pulled me back against him once more, and I melted into him. I was beginning to like his hugs from behind a little too much.

  “Do you need another new memory to wipe away the bad?” His lips nuzzled my neck. My eyes closed and my reserve gave way to the caress.

  “Yes.” Fell off my lips. I forgot all about the outside world with Stone’s lips on my neck, his stubble electrifying my body.

  A deep clearing of a throat brought me out of Stone’s trance. My eyes focused on Officer Martin, who had Mayor Bob with him.

  “If you could just sign here, Ms. Dust.” He held a pen and a ticket book out in front of him for me to sign.

  I reached for it, trying to step away from Stone, but he just stepped forward with me, hands still clasped around my middle and still naked from the waist up.

  “Of, course.” My face crimsoned.

  “Rilee. I heard the sirens and saw this man come out of your store without any clothes on to meet the police.”

  The image of Stone walking out of my shop with no clothes on was enticing — if it didn’t lead the entire town to believe he’d spent the night!

  I looked up at Stone, who shrugged unapologetically. “They were pounding on the front door like they were going to kick it down. I jumped out of the shower and opened the door. I wasn’t quite naked.”

  He jumped out of the shower?

  No, he didn’t. But to deny it would put the entire story in question. Officer Martin might actually think I stabbed the old creeper in my garage. Might actually think I tried to commit murder. Might actually put me in the back of his police car with the bars on the window.

  I went along with his story that would spread like wildfire by the end of the day. “I’m just glad you came when you did, Officer Martin.”

  He nodded and started to walk away.

  “Officer, what brought you here in the first place?” Stone’s voice was inquisitive, but not the least bit demanding. His body, however, had tightened with anticipation.

  “We got an anonymous call from the pay phone on the square. The caller said she heard a woman screaming from inside Tickle Me Timbers. Obviously, your voice carried from the garage when you found the guy. You got quite a pair of lungs, Ms. Dust.”

  “Yes. She does.” Stone put enough sexual innuendo in his comment to make Mayor Bob turn red, and the corner of Officer Martin’s mouth turned up in an obvious gesture of male bonding. All that was missing was a fist or chest bump.

  And I stood there like an idiot, letting him seal my fate.

  I was no longer the town widow. I was the town screamer.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  “Mr. Mayor. I don’t believe we’ve met.” Stone stepped out from behind me, displaying all that glorious skin. Not a millimeter went unnoticed by me, or Bob. As much as both of us didn’t want to stare, we did.

  Bob, the ever present politician, stuck out his hand. “Bob Lockwood. Nice to meet you...”

  Stone had my full attention. This was the moment I would learn his given name. The name his mother used when she yelled, “Tommy Lee Stone, get out of that mud!”

  Nah. It didn’t fit.

  Stone grasped Bob’s hand in what could only be described as a very firm handshake. Bob’s face flinch with the contact. “Stone. Everyone calls me Stone.”

  Bob looked at me quizzically. No doubt wondering if I screamed, “Stone!” in the heat of passion. I shrugged and played it off like it was no big deal.

  “You know, like Prince.” I suggested.

  Stone scowled. “Or Bono.”

  Bob joined in. “Like Mozart.”

  Not bad. But I had a better one. “Or Fabio.”

  Stone didn’t like that one. “More like Sting.”

  “I know. Shaq.” Bob scored with that one.

  “How about Siegfried and Roy?” I asked.

  Both men scowled. That was a game ender.

  “What brings you to Tickle Creek, Stone?” Bob’s eyes flickered toward Woody’s.

  “Helping out an old friend.” Stone replied.

  “Anyone I might know?” Bob was curious about the man in front of him. Was it because I hollered his name at night, or because he knew something I didn’t?

  “Max Gomez.”

  Until that very moment, I didn’t want to believe it, but Stone’s best friend and the Army Ranger Dad had told me about were one and the same. Like Ryan’s death, there were questions about Max’s death that needed answering.

  Stone examined Bob’s face, watching for any telltale sign that he was the one who murdered his friend. I watched Bob just as closely. Wondering if my friend had turned into a psychotic killer over a strip bar.

  Bob rubbed his chin, in what appeared to be genuine reflection. “Gomez. I don’t seem to recall that name on the voter registry.”

  “He lived on Tom Dick and Harry Mountain.”

  I could feel the danger in Stone’s voice. The violence just below the surface. Bob, on the other hand, was oblivious.

  “That explains it. He lives outside our voting area. What kind of help does he need?”

  “Justice.”

  With that one word, Bob saw the change in Stone’s mood and stepped back.

  I stepped forward and played the role I’d been given. “Stone.” My arms encircled his waist. What Bob couldn’t see was the force I was using to hold Stone back. Stone would have to be a royal dick to get me off him and go after Bob.

  I was hoping he wasn’t the type to do it.

  He didn’t disappoint me. Just applied enough pressure that signaled he’d be on Bob like a tick on Bogart if I allowed one inch of leeway.

  I wasn’t about to.

  “I ran my campaign on a tough on crime platform. I support our sheriff’s office one hundred percent.” Bob’s voice held a tinge of defensiveness.

  “Why are you targeting the people that go to Woody’s?”

  “Targeting? I’m not targeting anyone!” It was Bob’s turn to get angry. But I knew he wasn’t the one I needed to hold back, so I clung to Stone.

  “You photograph every vehicle which enters and exits that parking lot on a daily basis.” Stone began ticking things off with his fingers. “You have a camera pointed at the entrance of the bar.” Strike two. “You sit in your store and watch the parking lot at night.”

  I watched Bob to see if there was truth in Stone’s words. Bob’s jaw was grinding.

  “You go through any vehicles that are unlocked.” That was strike four. I was pretty sure you only got three strikes.

  Maybe I should release Stone.

  “You’re there every time a car gets vandalized. You were here when someone tried to set Rilee up for murder.” That was his last and final strike. I was done giving extra outs. The inning was over. I was tempted to release Stone.

  “Murder? Who is this crazy man you’ve hooked up with, Rilee?”

  Bob ended the game and I released Stone, who grabbed Bob by the collar so fast I thought Bob was going to pee himself. The camaraderie they’d shared a few moments ago completely disappeared.

  “Why are you trying to set up Rilee?” Stone asked through clenched teeth.

  “I’m not trying to set Rilee up for anything.” Bob grasped for some bravado. I
was amazed at how much he actually gathered. “I’m trying to protect her from guys like you who sneak around going to strip clubs and then prey upon good women.”

  “Setting her up for murder isn’t protecting her.” Stone wasn’t backing down.

  Neither did Bob. Surprisingly. “Hooking up with a stripper one night and Rilee the next isn’t exactly looking out for her best interest, either.” Bob turned toward me, no easy feat with Stone attached. “I hope you used protection, Rilee.”

  I didn’t need protection, cause with that last bit of information, I wouldn’t be sleeping with Stone. Ever.

  As if sensing his sex life had just taken a dramatic turn for the worst, Stone tightened his grip. “What exactly are you up to, Lockwood?”

  “Let go of my shirt so we can talk like civilized men, and I’ll tell you.”

  Stone let go of Bob’s shirt at Super Bowl replay speed — which is pretty damn slow. But Stone was making sure he could take back the advantage at any point.

  Unable to take any more, I stepped in between them and nudged Stone away at normal speed. He gave in without any force on my part. Just the contact of my hands on his chest.

  When I’d created enough distance between them, I reluctantly took my hands away. They felt so empty, I wasn’t sure why I hadn’t used Stone’s snail pace. Anything to keep them on his smooth, hard chest.

  “If you’d be so kind as to put some clothes on, I’ll meet you at my store and show you what ‘I’ve been up to.’ And I just may be able to tell you who called 911.” Bob’s voice held just enough sarcasm to boost his confidence. And surprisingly, Stone let him get away with it.

  “We’ll be over in a few minutes.” I interjected.

  “I’ll leave the door unlocked.” Bob walked away and I turned back toward Stone, whose eyes were boring a hole in the mayor’s back. When my fingers touched his arm, however, he glanced down and his face tempered.

  “What exactly did you have on when the police arrived?” I had to know.

  “What I have on right now, minus the shoes and socks.” The light percolated in his eyes. “Perception is everything.”

  “So, you weren’t naked?” My body felt naked asking such a personal question.

  “No, but I could be —” Stone’s mood softened.

  Mine hardened. “No, you won’t be. We’ve got damage control to handle. Bob and Officer Martin think we slept together.”

  Stone was unperturbed. He walked toward my house like he did it every day — a swagger in his step that drew my eyes to his leg. The one he no longer had. Before I realized I’d been caught, Stone addressed my insensitive stare.

  “It doesn’t affect my performance.”

  What do you say when your caught in your worst possible moment as a human being? Unable to meet his gaze, I put one foot in front of the other and approached the man who had turned my world upside down.

  Once there, I sucked up a sliver of his strength. “I’m truly sorry for my insensitivity.” My eyes met his. It was the least I could do to the man who’d endured my scrutiny and prejudice.

  “It’s a minor thing to overcome.” Stone took my arm and we proceeded up the stairs together. “You will endure a similar experience.”

  “What do you mean?” How could I possibly experience anything on the same level as he?

  I opened the door and Bogart ran past me to jump on Stone. The two greeted without judgment, without prejudice. Not once did Bogart look at Stone’s artificial limb and wonder if it would prohibit him from being able to take the force behind the dog’s leap. Their love was unconditional.

  A man and his dog should never be separated.

  Being tutored by a dog in the act of human emotions was very humbling. I slipped out of my jacket and reluctantly took off Stone’s shirt. My skin quivered with the loss. Then from the chill in the air.

  Stone watched from across the room, his hands full with Bogart’s head as he rubbed the dog’s ears. I wondered when I’d become so comfortable with this man that I didn’t think twice before baring my sports bra. Maybe it was his own lack of clothing. Maybe it was my way of letting him see my physical imperfections since he’d already seen my character flaws.

  And I remembered when I’d put his shirt on. I hadn’t understood what he was doing, but I was so freaked out by the dead body in my garage and Bogart trying to eat it, on top of the possibility of going to jail for life, I hadn’t thought about why Stone wanted me to wear his shirt.

  Now his intentions were very clear. “You had me put on your shirt so they would think we’d spent the night together.”

  Stone shrugged. “You needed an alibi, and that’s the best I could come up with. It worked. We can’t retract it now.”

  Footsteps slammed against my porch and Stone turned to halt the intruder running toward my back door. He stopped when the elderly man shoved open the door, relief washing over his face when he saw me. “Rilee, I heard on the police scanner...” Dad walked in, breathing hard — oblivious of Stone standing to his left.

  Until Bogart let out a startled bark and came toward him. My father caught one look at Stone’s attire and my lack of clothing, and his focus on my well-being disappeared. He was a parent who’d seen too much. Dad turned around and walked out the door without another word.

  Perception is everything.

  Stone was the first to act. He grabbed his t-shirt out of my hand and headed out the door while slipping it over his head. Pulling on my hoodie, Bogart and I watched through the window as the younger man caught up to my father and greeted him with what could only be described as respect. He shook his hand, met his eyes and took the third degree I could see my Dad giving him. He didn’t back down or look away with embarrassment, and in that moment I saw Jacob asking my father for my hand in marriage.

  The two were nothing alike. Jacob was leaner and lighter. In mood and coloring. He saw humor in everything. He’d be laughing his butt off right now.

  But what they lacked in common, they overlapped in similarities. Honor. Commitment. Respect. And last but not least, an unselfish sense of giving that even they weren’t aware they possessed.

  While Stone didn’t make any attempt to clear up Bob’s or Officer Martin’s misconceptions about our relationship, he wasn’t about to let any occur with my Dad.

  And Dad was taking advantage of it. For a solid ten minutes they stood out there in my back yard. Face to face. My father sizing up the man in front of him and Stone letting him see everything. Too bad I couldn’t see Stone’s face, I’d like to see a little more of what was inside the man as well.

  Bogart whined at my feet and I rubbed his head. “You’re right, Bogart. Bob’s waiting for us. We don’t have any more time for parental interviews.”

  Both men looked up when I stepped onto the porch with Bogart at my side. Dad seemed calmer and more at ease. Stone was his usual self — stone.

  “We have an appointment with Bob.” I said.

  Dad didn’t hesitate. “Yes, we do.”

  “We?” I looked from Dad to Stone, who shrugged in agreement with my father.

  “No, no, no.” My head shook back and forth. There was no way I wanted my father anywhere near two murder investigations or someone trying to set me up for a death sentence by lethal injection. “I don’t want you mixed up in this.”

  He had other ideas. “Yes, I’m going. I’ve known Bob a lot longer than you. I know what makes him tick, and if he had anything to do with setting you up, I’ll know it.”

  I glared at Stone. “How much did you tell him?” I accused. “You were supposed to be telling him we weren’t sleeping together.”

  Stone stood his ground. “Your dad needed to know why we weren’t sleeping together.”

  “What do you mean — why? Because we weren’t. Aren’t. That’s why.” The sudden need for clarification hit me. “We aren’t and we don’t plan to.” My finger went back and forth, pointing at Stone and myself, making it very clear. “This is never going to happen. That’s
what the conversation was supposed to be about.”

  Dad didn’t argue. Stone grinned. And the two of them took off together toward Main Street and Bob’s Books. Making me the third wheel.

  Bogart nudged my hand. And together, we made our own path across the street. At least one man in my life understood me.

  Stone pointed out several security cameras on the exterior of the bookstore that I’d never noticed. The cameras angled in all different directions. I couldn’t help but notice one appeared to be pointed directly at my front door. And I wasn’t sure I liked Bob or anyone else keeping track of my comings and goings all day long. When had my neighbor gotten to the point of feeling the need for the cameras?

  Dad and Stone waited for us at the front door of Bob’s place. Dad looked down at Bogart. “Are you going to take that dog with you everywhere you go?”

  My need for a little control over my life came out in my tone. “If the mood strikes me, yes I will.”

  Bogart and I walked past the two of them with our heads held high.

  “Bob!” I called as we entered the store.

  Silence met us in return.

  “Bob, it’s Rilee. I’m here with Stone and my Dad.”

  Stone pulled me behind him, passing me off to my Dad who tried to push me behind him as well.

  “Don’t be ridiculous, Dad. You’re not going in before me.”

  He shhh’d me and proceeded to push me behind him, anyway. Unless I was going to get in a shoving match with my father, I was now third in line.

  Make that fourth. Somehow Bogart remained up front with Stone.

  A crash in the rear of the store echoed to the front. Dad pushed me down behind the counter. Stone stepped to the side with Bogart. Using the bookcases for concealment, he headed down the side of the business on the exterior wall. Book cases started falling in a domino from the back of the store toward the front. Whoever was back there, didn’t want us to follow. Stone hugged the wall but his concealment was quickly dissipating as each shelf fell to its demise. The store alarm screeched through the air sending my nerves through the roof, and I caught a glimpse of Stone running toward the back of the store with Bogart hot on his heels.