Love Me Again (Pinecone Valley Book 1)

by Cindy Stark

  Marlee widened her eyes. “How far along?”

  “Barely.”

  Krystal didn’t need to see the look on Marlee’s face to know more than likely she’d have a miscarriage. She knew the outcome of most women who presented with her symptoms.

  “Who can I call for you?” Marlee asked.

  “Josh Vansant,” she whispered as another pain rolled her into a ball. Krystal squeezed her eyes shut, not caring if Marlee judged her for carrying Josh’s baby. All she knew was the moment she’d realized she might no longer have a decision to make, her future had become crystal clear.

  “Hang in there. I’m calling for Doctor Lee, and I’ll make sure someone notifies Josh.”

  * * *

  Josh stared out the window from the passenger seat of the ambulance, grateful to have something to focus on. He’d stayed at the station after watching Krystal drive away in her car, taking his heart and soul with her. He’d tried to talk to her again, but every time he spoke, he only made her more upset.

  She’d said she needed time, but he could read her better than anyone could.

  Patches of green dotted the rolling hills he and Cam traveled along, and it would only be a matter of time before alfalfa filled the fields in the communities surrounding Pinecone. Another year. Another season. The cycle of nature starting again.

  The emergency services guys would be called to assist their fellow men for a myriad of disasters. Tractor accidents. Heart attacks in the old guys who should have retired, but refused to give up their way of life. Everyone and everything continuing as though his heart didn’t hang in the balance.

  For them, life was as it should be. For him, nothing would ever be the same again.

  He’d seen the look in Krystal’s eyes. Her fear was a huge, red warning sign notifying him that he’d gone as far as he could and would be allowed no further. If Krystal could only find a way to trust in him, to trust them. But could she?

  If so, they could turn what appeared to be a disaster into the sweetest life known to man.

  But she wouldn’t.

  Or perhaps she just couldn’t.

  “You okay, man?”

  His auto response should have been “yeah,” but he couldn’t pretend everything was fine.

  “Josh?” Cam asked again.

  “It’s Krystal,” he finally said. “She’s pregnant.”

  “Well, fuck, dude.” Cam blew out a breath as though Josh had just told him he had cancer.

  “I want the baby, Cam.” Regardless of what happened with Krystal. If he could only ever have that small part of her, he’d take it. Then he’d spend the rest of his days praying she’d realize she couldn’t live without them.

  “What does she want?” Cam asked.

  “Fuck if I know. All I know is she doesn’t want me.” Speaking those words drove a metaphorical cleaver through his heart. “She doesn’t want me,” he repeated in a whisper as his gaze drifted to the passenger window once again.

  Silence stole over the interior of the vehicle and thickened as the miles passed. He could tell Cam wanted to say something, but really, nothing would help.

  When the dispatcher’s voice came over the radio, Cam grabbed it like a lifeline.

  “I have a request for Josh to head to UMC for a family emergency.”

  Josh met Cam’s gaze, alarm racing through his heart. “Why? Who?” None of his family lived close by…except Krystal.

  Cam acknowledged the request and informed the dispatcher they were en route before he repeated Josh’s questions.

  “Hold please. I’ll see if I can obtain that information.” Sixty long seconds later she returned. “Krystal Collier.”

  Josh’s stomach hollowed out. “Get me the fuck there now.”

  “You got it.” He flipped on the sirens and accelerated as though he planned on taking flight.

  Josh didn’t wait for Cam to stop the vehicle in front of the E.R. before he opened the door and jumped out. He raced to the reception desk. Before he could ask, Marlee pointed down the hall.

  “Exam Three.”

  He tore past her and into the room.

  Soft monitors chirped, and the room was empty besides Krystal. Pain curled through him to see Krystal as a patient instead of the nurse. She opened her eyes when he entered and held out a hand.

  He approached, scanning her from head to foot, looking for the reason and severity of her injury. Other than a pale face, she appeared to be fine, which could only mean…

  “Hey,” she said, tightly wrapping her fingers around his.

  “Are you okay?”

  She shook her head as emotion stole her features. “The baby.”

  She might as well have punched him in the gut.

  “I might lose it.”

  He inhaled, grasping on to the tiny spot of hope she’d given. “You haven’t yet?”

  She shook her head. “It’s too soon to know for sure. I’ve had pain, but no bleeding. Doctor Lee said I was dehydrated. He’s concerned about my level of stress as well.”

  “Damn it, Krystal. I’m so sorry. I never meant for any of this to hurt you.” He ran a frustrated hand over his hair. “Maybe it’s for the best anyway. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be.”

  “No, Josh.” She squeezed his hand. “I don’t want to lose our baby. I want to love it. With you. Be a family. I think I knew that all along, but becoming a mom scares the hell out of me.”

  “Of course it does.” He snorted as the spot of hope grew to a ray. “It scares me, too. I don’t think we’d be normal if it didn’t.”

  “Josh, I don’t want to lose it, but if we do, please say I haven’t lost you, too.” She shifted on the bed to sit, but he put a firm hand on her shoulder.

  “Stay down. Rest.”

  She struggled, but then caved. “I want you to know you’ve always been the guy for me. Even when we weren’t together, there was no one else. There could never be anyone else for me.”

  “Ah, shit.” His heart burst like a cloud as emotion rushed toward his eyes. He wiped the moisture from them, but he couldn’t keep the smile from his face. “I love you, Krystal. I love you so damn much.” He leaned forward and did his best to wrap her in his embrace.

  “I love you, too, Josh. I’m so sorry. So, so sorry for everything I’ve put us through.”

  He shook his head, dismissing her apology. “No, Krystal. You were right. We weren’t ready for that kind of commitment four years ago. We were still kids. You know as well as I do that we needed this time. Not going to say it hasn’t been the hardest damn thing I’ve endured, but we’re together now. No looking back.”

  She gave him a tremulous smile and shook her head in agreement. “No looking back.”

  EPILOGUE

  Nine months later…

  Krystal groaned and pressed against the offending person kicking the inside of her belly. “Stop it,” she whispered. When her little boy quieted, she placed a protective hand over the rounded bump his body created.

  “Kicking again?” Josh asked as he rolled over in bed.

  “Like a spiteful little beast,” she said with a smile. “Do you think he’s getting even for my initial uncertainty?”

  Josh laughed and pulled her into his arms. “Nah, no way. He loves you as much as I do. You’re his mommy.”

  She smiled, the word, the idea overwhelming her with gratitude. “I am. And you’re his daddy.” As she finished her sentence, another pain gripped her, this one not from her baby kicking.

  “Another contraction?” Josh asked.

  She nodded as she tried to breathe through it. “They’re coming a lot closer now. I think we should go.”

  Josh shot out of bed like a man on fire, stumbling as he pulled on his jeans. If she could have laughed, she would have.

  “Slow down. I think we have a couple minutes at the very least before he comes into this world.”

  “Minutes?” The look of panic in his dark eyes endeared him more to her.

  “Hours, Josh,” sh
e said with a laugh. “We should head out, but it’s still going to be quite a while.”

  “Okay.” He stopped and glanced around for a shirt, snagging a t-shirt from the floor and tugging it over his head. She couldn’t wait to watch her sweet child snuggle up on the chest of the man she loved so much.

  “You’re going to make the best daddy, Josh.”

  “And you the best mommy.” He calmed for a moment, but as soon as another contraction hit and she wrinkled her face in pain, he was back in action.

  * * *

  Eight hours later, Austin Joshua Vansant entered the world. By the time the pediatric nurse laid him in her arms, Krystal was exhausted and exhilarated beyond measure.

  “He’s beautiful,” Josh whispered as he leaned over and kissed their baby’s downy head.

  “He is. So beautiful.” Unbelievable happiness and contentment filled Krystal. “I never knew it could be like this,” she whispered.

  Josh grinned. “I did.”

  She returned his expression. “Smart ass.”

  “Better watch that language, ma’am. We have young ears around now,” he teased.

  She smiled and shook her head. “The problems start already. When the principal calls and needs to talk to us about his language, I think you’d better be the one who handles it.”

  “It’s a deal.” Josh laughed as he nudged her over on the narrow hospital bed and crawled in beside her. He wrapped her in his arms as she snuggled their baby into the crook between them.

  “This is good, Krystal.” He kissed the top of her head.

  “It is,” she sighed. “So very good.”

  ****

  If you enjoyed reading this book, help a starving artist. Tell a friend and leave a review at Amazon or Goodreads!

  Thank you!

  Happy Reading, Cindy

  Love small town romance? Read on for an excerpt from CALEB (A Blackwater Canyon Ranch Novel)

  Excerpt from LOVE ME ALWAYS (Pinecone Valley Book Two)

  Chapter One

  Whoever said people couldn’t change was wrong.

  Dead wrong.

  Kaitlin Collier only had a month left to prove that dedication to her collection of delinquent students could make a difference in their lives. However, if their latest chemistry exam scores were any indication, she’d win the bet with the principal of Pinecone Valley High. They’d get their trip to Salt Lake City to visit the planetarium, and she’d prove to him and many others that a once-troubled kid didn’t necessarily mean an incarcerated adult.

  “Can I have the hall pass?”

  Kaitlin glanced up from her desk into the intelligent eyes of Drake Ricenberg. The seventeen-year-old tossed his long blond bangs out of his face with a quick shake of his head.

  “Sure.” She pulled the get-out-of-jail-free card from her desk drawer and handed it to him. She didn’t know if he needed a bathroom or an illegal smoke break, and she didn’t care. As long as he continually showed up at school and made progress, she was happy.

  “Thanks.” He stuck the purple card in his back pocket and headed out of the room.

  She looked over her last class of the day, her favorite, the place where she made the greatest difference in society. Her group of hardened teenagers, ones who’d had trouble with the law, with drugs, or other issues now leaned over their chemistry labs, talking amongst themselves, adding different chemicals to their beakers. They were learning. The ones who’d been dismissed as losers were filling their brains with new information.

  Yes, her students were small-town, rural instead of inner city kids, but they had troubles all the same, and she liked to think she’d given them a shot at a better future.

  She stood and sauntered past other students until she reached the last desk in the back corner. Drake’s abandoned lab partner looked up and frowned.

  “How’s it coming?” Kaitlin asked.

  Jessica’s black hair and thick black eyeliner intimidated many people in their sleepy little town, but Kaitlin had had her own troubled years and knew that many times a person’s need to be different was their form of escaping something in their life. Even if it was just the stifling family mold, like it had been for Kaitlin.

  “It’s good, except Drake ditched me again right before the good part, and he wants me to wait while he goes to smoke.” Annoyance and accusation colored her voice. “He needs to stay in class with the rest of us.”

  It was no secret Jessica and Drake had once been an item. She’d broken his heart three-quarters of the way through the semester. If it wouldn’t have upset the rest of the class, Kaitlin would have separated the two, but she’d worked hard to find partners who complimented each other and gave them a reason to come to class.

  “Do you feel you’re doing the majority of the work?” If so, Kaitlin would talk to Drake, but he’d always carried his weight in the past. She doubted he’d stopped now.

  Jessica dropped her gaze and rearranged the beakers on the desk between them. “I don’t know. I guess. I think he’s still pissed at me for breaking up.”

  Instead of separating the former lovebirds, she’d chosen to keep a close eye on them and intervene when necessary. One of the biggest lessons they might get out of her class was learning to live with their mistakes and still succeed.

  If that was the only thing she taught them, it still would be huge in her book.

  “Tell me where you’re at on your experiment. Maybe I can help while he’s gone.” Diffusion was often a successful tactic in her line of work.

  Jessica exhaled her frustration and met Kaitlin’s gaze across the desk. “All the beakers have ammonia solution in them. We were about to add the phenolphthalein.”

  “So do it. Drake can conduct the experiment again by himself.”

  Her eyes lit up as she poured the chemical into the first beaker. As expected, the solution turned red. “That’s kind of cool.”

  Watching her reaction was also cool. “Now take the lead nitrate—”

  The sound of a freight engine exploded throughout the room as a force larger than life threw her backward. Kaitlin’s head smacked against the hard metal desk behind her, and the room spun. Flames and smoke filled the air, and she fought to make sense of what had happened.

  Chaos ensued.

  The sounds of screaming reached through the ringing in her ears as people rushed in every direction, knocking things over. Adrenaline shrieked for her to get up and run with them, but she couldn’t steady herself enough to get her legs beneath her.

  A few seconds later, strong hands slid beneath her armpits and hauled her to her feet. “We have to get out of here,” a male voice said.

  She blinked a few times to clear the shock from her head and recognized Peter Stevens, a student from one of her classes the previous year. He dragged her arm around his neck, and together, they hobbled toward the exit.

  Smoke followed them into the hall where a throng of crazed people trying to escape an unknown terror swept them into their current. All the school’s training for disaster and an orderly evacuation evaporated when a real emergency descended.

  “My students!” she yelled to Peter. He shook his head and kept moving forward. Helplessness cloaked her, but she could do nothing but comply.

  The farther they moved from her classroom, the easier she could breathe. Her ears still rang with a deafening tone, mashing everyone’s voices into a mumbled ball of hysteria.

  Frightened and frantic kids spilled onto the lawn in front of the one-story, red brick high school and filled in around them. She saw a few from her class, some bloody, but all thankfully walking.

  Peter helped her to a spot beneath one of the large maples. The shade from the tree casted a chill upon her as she dropped to the ground. The warm, early May sunshine would have felt good on her shaking bones. She ached to return to the school to check on others, but she was in no condition to help anyone.

  One of the English teachers chattered like a deranged, wounded squirrel, the sound bouncing off her
pounding skull. She couldn’t understand a word, but her expression as she flitted from person to person proved she was as terrified as Kaitlin.

  From her viewpoint, the school didn’t look damaged, but it sure as hell had a few minutes ago. “What happened?” she asked over the throng of voices.

  Peter put his face directly in front of hers and muttered words she could barely hear.

  “What?”

  “Some kind of a bomb, I think,” he said in a louder voice as he met her gaze, his seeming frightened as well. “I would guess anyway. I was in the class across the hall, and we heard a loud explosion. Then everyone ran.”

  A bomb? What if there was another? Would they be safe outside, or were they still in harm’s way?

  “We’ll wait here until help arrives,” Peter yelled. “Be careful. You’re bleeding.”

  She frowned, sending white-hot pain shooting behind her eyes with even the slightest movement. She winced and lifted her hand to her head feeling for any sign of injury. When she came across something wet, she jerked her hand away, surprised to find red, shiny blood covering her fingertips.

  She lifted her opposite hand to check again for damages, but Peter gripped her wrist, stopping her. He shook his head, and she followed his finger pointing toward her left arm. An inch-long piece of a metal ruler protruded from the mid-section of her upper arm like a broken shank, and she stared at it in shock.

  “Oh, my God.” Her heart rate kicked into high gear, leaving her dizzy and panicked. Where had that come from? She hadn’t realized she’d been hit.

  She shifted her gaze to Peter and then to the surrounding mob who’d gathered around staring at her. “What?” she mumbled. Was she dying? They looked at her as though she was.

  She took a quick, frightened account of all her limbs and organs as best she could. Pain radiated from her head and from her arm injury, now that she knew it was there, but everything else seemed in order except the violent pounding of her heart.

  Calm. Stay calm. She’d walked from the building. She couldn’t be about to die.