He paused, and I waited for him to mention his friend Kalhan, but he didn't.
"It hurt terribly, and I wasn't the same after her. I vowed never to be so vulnerable again."
He squeezed out more gel, warmed it up, and applied it deftly on both sides of my waist. His hands were wonderfully distracting, but I couldn't abandon myself to their charms and remained on my guard. After his stormy invective against Lodel and my emotional surrender, this soothing break baffled me. It was like standing in the eye of a hurricane, where it's quiet and safe, but where taking a few steps in any direction will hurl you back into the tempest. I was so afraid of committing the slightest blunder, I controlled the heaving in my chest as I breathed.
"Then I met you."
His hands stopped in the middle of my back, and I waited to exhale.
"When I saw you in the cave on Earth – embarrassed, but self-assured, a worried frown, but eyes filled with wonder – I thought you'd been sent to me as a special present from your collection of gods."
He laughed and my butt clenched in response.
"Unfortunately, I couldn't ravish you. Pretty as you were, you were also a problem. Khyra's Council gave me a hard time. They argued that because you had already talked to us, your memories would be too important to be simply erased. They wanted me to abduct you, but I opposed them. You probably find it amusing that as a Northie, I resisted a kidnapping scene, but this wasn't a game, and I'm not one for hurting people. Finally, they allowed me to try it my way, and I was glad to prove I'd read you well when you practically begged to come aboard.
"Once you were on the ship, I was torn between excitement and fear. I was attracted to you like a bug to the light. You were not only beautiful, you were smart, friendly, adventurous and emotional. But at the same time, I remembered how I'd been blessed with such strong feelings before, and suffered when they weren't returned with the same devotion."
Without the gag, I would have told him about my feelings, but I let him continue without as much as a sigh.
"Because of your charms," Khiru went on, "I knew you'd be courted by more men than you could have in a lifetime, especially once they found out you were a Southie. Imagine the appeal of a mature woman who knew nothing about bondage and power games! Even though I could tell you were attracted to me, I was convinced you'd dump me once we landed on Khyra. And I couldn't blame you for that. Suri was too young to be committed. You were too inexperienced. I couldn't make the same mistake twice."
Still, he had sex with me, I reflected.
"Of course, I ruined it all by having sex with you the night after the evening at the Therms. I was so angry with myself. I realized too late that having sex with you couldn't be a mere physical relief without emotional consequences. I made it twice as hard on both of us, and the only way I could make up for my gaffe was to turn you away from me. I tried to be rude, cold, angry. Since it didn't work, I decided to avoid you altogether. When I heard about you and Naari, then Vhar, I thought I'd succeeded. Your sexual experiments confirmed my initial assumptions, and I was satisfied I'd made the right decision.
"It wasn't easy, though. When I saw you in the Cabaret on Seisha Day, my confidence tumbled. I'd learned about your excursion on the bridge – there wasn't much I didn't know about you; I even heard about your solo trip to the Twilight – and I expected you to attend my performance with Svelia. Still, seeing you in the front row was a shock. I was jealous of Naari touching your shoulder, and wondered why Svelia was onstage instead of you. As I whipped her, I had a vision of you standing there, your back offered to me, and I must have given my best show ever."
His laughter sounded sad, and I felt like hugging him. For the first time, I pulled anxiously at my restraints.
Khiru moved his hands down to my bottom and rubbed the lotion patiently in, unaware of the turmoil inside me. Or maybe aware of it, but with no intention of doing anything about it.
"After Seisha Day, I decided to avoid you at all costs and shifted to the Green Team. Naari was the only one who knew. We had a long chat during which he made it clear that, despite his strong feelings for you, he would step aside if I changed my mind. Poor Naari. On the one hand, he'd figured me out, but I made him promise he wouldn't tell you. On the other, he was aware of your frustration, but incapable of quenching it."
Poor Naari, indeed. He must have been looking forward to the end of our journey.
"And finally, your stunt with Lodel," he let out in a sigh. "I'd long stopped reading the Twilight newsletter, but when a fellow engineer told me about your show, I went from incomprehension to irritation in less time than it took him to finish the article. Was it a game or a challenge? What were you trying to prove? You couldn't take a real whipping, so there had to be a secret motive to your courage. Unless the whole event was a joke; but my guts told me we wouldn't be so lucky. I searched for you all day, talked to Naari, who was even more confused than I was, then realized you'd stay out of touch until it was too late for us to hear you out. My only hope, then, was that whoever was whipping you would know what he was doing.
"When you walked onstage, and I discovered Lodel's theatrical costume, I was temporarily relieved. He couldn't be serious about the scene if he showed up as a fetish jester. However, you, in your golden nakedness and chastity belt, looked dazzling. I can't remember the last time my loins reacted so violently. And judging from the gasps, I wasn't the only one who fancied raping you right there and then."
To reinforce his point, Khiru slipped his oily hands between my thighs and brushed my sex. I couldn't repress a plaintive moan, and squirmed.
"Tsk. The doctor said you should rest," he teased. "Besides, I'm not finished."
He scooped yet another handful of gel, liquefied it, and worked on my legs, one at a time.
"During the first ten minutes, Lodel proved me right. He had no idea how to use a crop, and the scene was so pathetic, I kept waiting for a big surprise that would reveal your true intentions. The cross was a mystery, too. Later, he told me it had been your decision, which I'm sure you dearly regretted, but then I couldn't make out what it stood for. I was still trying to anticipate your trick when Lodel hit harder. Too hard. Too quick. Too much. It was insane, like he was trying to kill you, not give you any pleasure.
"I moved closer to the stage to observe the tiny movements your bondage allowed. I read your confusion, your will to try, your struggle, and finally, your despair. If you suffered, Megan, I suffered with you. I was possibly the only person in the crowd who really saw the scene for what it was: a complete failure inexorably leading to a major collapse. I should have stopped it then, but..."
Khiru wavered, searching for the right words.
"Anger got in the way. Pride, too. You'd planned to hurt me, or trap me, I wasn't quite certain, but I knew I was the ultimate beneficiary of this deadly masquerade. I decided my little brat deserved a lesson, and let Lodel administer it for me. By that time, your fingers no longer moved. That sign alone should have alerted him, and I expected him to stop the scene once he finished with the bullwhip.
"Instead, he swapped the whip for the cane. I let him strike a few times, noticed your total lack of reaction, and truly panicked. Something definitely snapped in me. My vanity and rage dissolved. The girl I loved was being abused, and I had to rescue her. It was suddenly crystal clear."
He loves me. He loves me. He loves me.
I became aware of tears when I sniffed too loud. Reliving the scene through Khiru's eyes had done me in. And his conclusion had crashed through my last barriers.
"Are you okay?" he asked, concerned.
"Mmm."
"Let me peel the tape off."
His face was very close to mine. His dark, slanted eyes shone with the same light I'd seen the only time we'd had sex, but his features were more relaxed. There was no wrinkle on his brow, only the promise of a lover's kiss on his half-opened lips.
With my eyes closed, I welcomed his mouth and melted in its heat. His tongue gently played
with mine until he got brutal and took possession of my mouth. He only withdrew to allow me to breathe, then cupped my face in his hands.
"I'm sorry, Megan, I'm very, very sorry. I don't care about the future and I don't ask any commitment from you, but I want to be with you now and as long as you'll have me. I want to make up for all those months we've lost and the pain I caused you."
"I–" I started to return his declaration with one of my own, but the bondage was getting in the way of my emotions. I had trouble keeping my head up and twisted, and didn't want to talk to a pillow.
"Could you untie me, please?" I whispered.
He made a move in the direction of a cuff, then stopped.
"Actually, no. I haven't massaged your ankles yet."
"Oh, Khiru..."
"No complaint, young lady, unless you want a bigger gag on your pretty mouth."
There was a kind of gag I would have loved to suck, but, for once, I behaved like an obedient Southie. It was easy. After hours of misery, I was walking on clouds, lighter than the air, and a minor delay in what I knew was inevitable couldn't alter my happiness.
In a silence full of contained desire, Khiru covered my ankles with the lotion. When he was done, he continued massaging my legs until he returned to my ass. His caresses became more pressing, though by no means impatient. He slid two fingers under me, then inside me. I raised my hips and rotated around his hand, sucking him further in. In response, he teased my G-spot and pressed my clit with his thumb, sending vibrations of pleasure in all directions.
"By Mho, Megan, I can't wait any longer."
Khiru penetrated me with the passion he'd withheld for ten months, and I received him with similar ardor. I wouldn't have blamed him for making it a short one, but there was a lot I needed to learn about his self-control. He rammed savagely inside me, pinning me to the bed with the strength of his hips, shoving his member down depths I didn't know existed.
I pulled on the cuffs and bit through the pillow before yelling out loud. Khiru's name was the last intelligible word I said before I was reduced to groans, whimpers and cries. Like a twig caught in rapids, I glided on the unstoppable currents, unable to influence the journey, but reveling in its mind-shattering sensations. The flow became faster and rougher, disorienting me, yet leading me towards the only possible outcome. Was it the roar of a waterfall I could hear or my own guttural sounds?
Finally, I heard two screams entwined in one, and I spiraled into an abyss of pleasure, where darkness was colorful.
Chapter TWENTY
My dissatisfied tummy growled me back to consciousness. I summoned some light, and saw the note on the bedside table.
"Call me as soon as you're up. Love, K."
Like a silly teenager, I pressed the piece of paper against my lips, then reached for my mediapin.
Two minutes later, I was dancing around the room, thanking Mho, Plya and Earth's Moon for this happy turning point in my life. Khiru would join me in an hour, and we'd have dinner in my bedroom. Before that, we agreed I should have a conversation with Naari, and Khiru would send him to me.
After refreshing myself in the bathroom, I slipped into a long white tunic Khiru had left for me. Light as a feather, but soberly opaque, it made me look like a chaste priestess. I loved how Khiru was suddenly concerned about my decency.
I smoothed down the bed sheet and noted with glee that the cuffs were already out of sight. Before reactivating the door buzzer, I peeked into the corridor where dimmed lights indicated sunset. I'd slept all day! Khiru had probably increased the beecee's intensity to force me to rest, unless our sexual feast – in flagrant contradiction with the doctor's orders – had simply worn me out.
Not that I cared. The man of my dreams was in love with me, and he no longer resisted his feelings. He'd kissed me and wanted to be with me "as long as I'd have him." How did forever sound? The world was a beautiful place again.
In this newfound bliss, there was a dark spot daring me to confront it: the short-lived terror that had possessed me when Khiru had tied me up. It had not completely disappeared, but I chose to ignore it. Right now, I was a happy camper, and someone else needed more comfort than I did.
Settling in the chair near the desk, I rehearsed my speech for Naari and searched for dozens of synonyms for "sorry." It turned out I didn't use any of them.
When I opened the door, I came face to face with a very jovial Naari. Before I could speak, he lifted me up as if I weighed no more than a child.
"Hey, my little Earthling," he exclaimed. "I'm so glad it's over. Now we can all be cheerful again."
"You mean, you're not angry or sad?" I managed to ask once he'd put me back on the floor.
"Why?" Naari asked with genuine surprise. "Because Khiru's finally understood what I knew from the start? Sweetie, I love you very much, but I'm not the one you're looking for. And seeing you two so unhappy made me cringe. I tried my best to cheer you up, but it was truly getting out of control."
I kissed him on the cheek.
"Naari, you're a darling. You're not angry about the scene then?"
"I don't want to talk about it. I guess I understand why you did it, and as long as it had a happy conclusion, I don't want to know anything else. You're healed, you're smiling, you're in love. So is my best friend. What more can I ask?"
"A little something for you, perhaps?"
"I have your friendship, and soon I'll have dozens of young Southies twirling around me for attention. Besides..."
"Besides what?"
"You never know. One day, you might look for a second partner."
I'd forgotten about that part of Khyrian social etiquette. Uncertain of what the correct answer would be, I chewed nervously on my lips.
"Don't panic!" Naari laughed. "I'll let you and Khiru enjoy years of honeymooning before I even try."
"Well, good. That's another idea I have to get used to, you know. Two men in the house, what an appalling thought!" I joked half-seriously.
At that moment, the buzzer rang and, as I pressed on the opener, Khiru came in, pushing a tray on wheels. Although the dishes were covered, the smell was lovely.
Naari turned down our polite invitation to share dinner and left us alone. Khiru placed the tray next to the bed, where I sat, and he settled in the chair on the other side.
We had a long chat, which we interrupted when the sexual tension between us required urgent relief. We had so much to talk about, our discussion extended over the next few days between ointment sessions, joyful meals and more sex.
Khiru talked about his job as a pilot engineer and his experience in space travel. The journey to Earth was the last of a long series that had kept him away from Khyra for more than seven years in the last decade. The previous trips, all of them scientific expeditions to nearby planets and asteroids, had been shorter and less thrilling, but they made up most of his adult life. I reflected that the beginning of his career as a space officer corresponded to the sordid conclusion of his love affair with Suri and his friendship with Kalhan.
"Wasn't it hard to be away for so long?" I asked. "Didn't you miss Khyra?"
"No, not really. Space feels just like home, and I like the uncomplicated life on a starship. Rules are easy to follow and administer. The crew works toward a common purpose without egos or selfishness."
"I thought Khyra was a model of solidarity and order."
"Not always," he smiled.
Was he going to tell me more about Suri's betrayal? I was dying to hear his version of the rape story. Did he know what his best friend had become?
"I can see why you enjoy the disciplinarian aspects of space missions," I said, very aware of the innuendo, "but what about personal feelings? Love, friendship, family? Didn't you miss all that?"
"I love my parents, but visiting them once or twice a year is enough. We write all the time; it's not like we're out of touch. Actually, Mom can't wait to meet you, so expect an introduction soon after we land."
Pleased he'd mention
ed me to his folks, I let the conversation topic shift to the city where they now lived, then to Khiru's childhood. Between these memories and his years traveling the stars, he skipped a big chunk of life, the one that interested me most. I tried to bring him back to the subject later, but he eluded my questions every time.
Obviously, the confession from the day before was an exception to the rule. He didn't talk much about anything personal beyond his work and interests. He told me he enjoyed discovering new places, which didn't surprise me. He also confessed a passion for books, which did surprise me. I couldn't imagine him lost in a novel for a whole evening, but apparently, this was his favorite distraction after a hard day of work.
At least in my attempt to find out more about his past, I learned a little about his interlude at Rhysh.
"People like to think of Rhysh as a huge dungeon-city where masters whip slaves day and night," he said, "but it's not so glamorous. Northies and Southies spend hours in classes studying everything from genetics, psychology and anatomy to art and history. We learn the traditional symbols of power games, how they are perceived differently throughout the planet, and why something can be erotic in the East and totally inadequate in the West.
"Northies must know how to use ointments and bandages, and provide first aid. We are trained not only to tie ropes, but to weave them. As for whips, we practice with each and every one of them until our arm goes numb with pain. And I'm not telling you about the physical drills."
"Poor little Northies!"
He laughed. "Okay, it's not always that bad. After all, we get to train on charming would-be slaves. But the real fun part of Rhysh is that it creates wonderful bonds of–"
A dark shadow crossed his eyes.
"Friendship?" I asked.
"Yes, of friendship. Anyway," he added conclusively, "you need to be really motivated to enter Rhysh and not run away after a couple of months."
The subject was closed.
While Khiru was reluctant to share his secrets, he was more insistent about discovering mine. On our first night, he questioned me about my relationships on Earth; I talked about my family, my friends and my few lovers. Then he wanted to hear details about my experiments on the ship.
Worthy of a Master: The Tale of a Perfect Slave Page 18