The Good Soldier Svejk
Page 48
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here's a gulden to drink my health with.' You can't get away from it, an officer ought to know better than that."
Schweik now inspected the landscape.
"It strikes me," he said, "that we've taken the wrong road. Lieutenant Lukash explained it to us all right. We've got to gc up and down, then to the left and to the right, then to the right again, then to the left, and we're keeping straight on. I can set some crossroads in front of us, and if you ask me, I should say we ought to go to the left."
When they reached the crossroads, Quartermaster-sergeant Vanek affirmed that they ought to go to the right.
"Well, anyhow, this is the way I'm going," said Schweik ; "it's a more comfortable road than yours. I'm going along by the stream where the forget-me-nots grow, and if you want to traipse along in the broiling heat, you can. I stick to what Lieutenant Lukash told us. He said we couldn't miss the way. So I'm going to take it easy across the fields and pick some flowers."
"Don't be a fool, Schweik," said Quartermaster-sergeant Vanek. "You can see from the map that we've got to go to the right, like I said."
"Maps are wrong sometimes," replied Schweik, as he strolled downhill toward the stream. "I know a pork butcher who tried to get home one night from Prague to Vinohrady and he followed a map, and the next morning he was found lying stiff and dead-beat in a cornfield near Kladno. If you won't take my word for it, Sergeant, and you're so cocksure you're right, why we'll just have to part, and we'll meet again when we get to Felstyn. Just look at your watch, and then we'll know who gets there first. And if you get into any danger, just fire into the air, so as I'll know where you are."
Later in the afternoon Schweik reached a small pond where he came upon an escaped Russian prisoner who was bathing there. When he saw Schweik he took to his heels, stark naked.
Schweik rather wondered how the Russian uniform, which was lying under the willow trees, would suit him. So he.took off his own uniform and dressed himself in the clothes belonging to the unfortunate naked prisoner, who had escaped from the con-
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voy which was quartered in the village on the other side of the forest. Schweik was anxious to have a good look at his reflection in the water, and so he lingered beside the brink of the pond for such a long time that he was discovered there by the field patrol who was looking for the Russian fugitive. They were Magyars, and in spite of Schweik's protests they took him off to the base at Chyruwa, where they put him among a gang of Russian prisoners who were being sent to repair the railway line leading to Przemyśl.
The whole thing had happened so suddenly that Schweik did not realize until the next day what had happened to him, and on the white wall of the school room where a part of the prisoners were quartered, he inscribed with a piece of charred wood :
Hear slept Josef Schweik of Prague, Company Orderly of the 11th Draft of the 91st Regiment who while looking for Billets was taken Prisoner near Felstyn by the Austrians by Misteak.