Imperfections

by Shaniel Watson

  "I don't know, one minute we were listening to music the next thing I know we're having sex in the back of his car with the driver in the front. That is not me; I don't do things like that."

  "Did you say, 'driver, roll up the partition please, you don't need to see Cat on her knees?'" She's laughing and I'm looking at her not amused. "Was that playing? If it was you could blame it on Beyoncé and J getting you caught up in the music."

  "Not funny, Ava. Not funny."

  "I'm sorry." She puts her manicured hands, one over the other over her heart. "No more jokes, I promise. Go ahead, tell me what happened."

  I tell Ava the whole story and for once in all the years that I've known her she's speechless. Not one smart remark even when I tell her about Nick and Kate. The only part I leave out is there's a chance I could be pregnant.

  "Cat, this is unbelievable. It's like an episode of Days of Our Lives. It's like Sammy and Carrie, two sisters fighting over Austin. That bitch Sammy would do anything to get Austin but he didn't want her, he wanted to be with Carrie, the woman he really loved."

  "You're comparing my life to a daytime drama?"

  "Honey, your life is outdoing daytime drama, this is real life drama. I can't believe she's pregnant. She probably got knocked up on purpose."

  "Believe it, it's true and it takes two people to make a baby."

  "It might not be his," she says, dragging the last word out.

  "What are the chances of that?"

  "There's always a chance. How do you know she wasn't hooking up with someone else? If she could hook up with Nick that one time, how do you know she didn't hook up with someone else around the same time? You said they used protection, right?"

  "She said it was his."

  "Cat, I'm not saying your sister sleeps around, but at the time, she was two weeks out of a five-year relationship with a man we all assumed she was going to be married to. How do we know she didn't get nostalgic late one night and decided to hook up with Michael? It happens all the time."

  "Why wouldn't she tell Nick if there is a chance this baby could be someone else's? She wouldn't do that. What is my family going to say when she tells them they're not getting married? My mother's going to go ballistic. I'm going to be the slut of the family. The slut who ruined her sister's engagement and slept with the father of her child."

  "If you're a slut, then what the hell am I? I wouldn't want to know what they'd call me. You didn't break up anything; it wasn't real to begin with. What did I tell you? I know my cousin. I knew he would never in a million years marry your sister."

  "No, but he would sleep with her."

  "He fucked up there."

  "Before it got to that point, why didn't his feelings for me stop him from having sex with her? If he cared about me so much and wanted to protect me from getting hurt, why didn't he walk away?"

  "I don't know. I can't answer that one for you, that's a question he'll have to answer. The one thing I do know is he cares about you and he'd most likely do anything for you."

  "How do you know that?" I sit back on my pillows biting the side of my cheek. "I'm not sure I believe that's true. If it was, he damn sure wouldn't have had sex with my sister; not even one time."

  "You need to talk to him."

  "I don't know if I'm ready to see him yet or deal with him. I'm still trying to process everything that has transpired and how I feel. I'm conflicted by so many different feelings. I don't know what to do next."

  "Where's your pendant?"

  "The one Nick gave me?"

  "Yes."

  "It's in my jewelry box. Why?"

  "I was there the day he bought it for you."

  "I didn't know that, why didn't you tell me?"

  "The day he bought it I asked him to come to the jewelry store with me because my dad was afraid I would buy the entire store. The only way he would let me go is if Nick came with me to make sure I didn't max out his card, which is ridiculous, Black has no limit."

  "Your father's a very smart man."

  She rolls her eyes at me. "Anyway, when we got to the jewelry shop I was so excited to show him the pendant I was going to buy. It was the most beautiful unique piece of jewelry I'd ever laid my eyes on. The second Nick saw it he said to me, 'you're not buying it.' I said why not? You know what his answer was?"

  "What?"

  "His exact words were, 'It was meant for someone else, someone special. A person that will always be a part of my life without a doubt in my mind.'"

  "He said that?" She nods her head slowly.

  "Jokingly, I said yeah, I know the special person is me. He said, 'No, this person is a different kind of special and I need to remind her of that. Whether I'm near or far away from her she will always come first above everyone else. All she has to do is call.' He said the eyes were wrong; the original gems were emerald green. He had them changed to a light blue star aquamarine. What color are his eyes, Cat?"

  "An undeniable haunting, beautiful shade of gray-blue. Sometimes I feel like he can see right through me."

  "He chose that particular gem because it bears a close resemblance to the color of his eyes. So whenever you looked at it you would know he was always with you, number one."

  "Why didn't you tell me the night he gave it to me? I called you and you acted like you didn't know about it."

  "It wasn't for me to tell you, I didn't know he was talking about you when he bought it so I was just as surprised as you were. I thought the dope would eventually tell you. You want to know what I think?"

  "I'm sure you're going to tell me whether I want to know or not."

  "You have always had a special place in Nick's life from when you were in pigtails. Out of respect for his friendship with Chris he couldn't act on his feelings for you. He spent so many years protecting you from all those other guys and what he saw in them, he knew he had in himself. He thought he was protecting you from himself."

  "I came back home because I missed my family but that's not the only reason I came back. I thought there might be a chance Nick and I could be more than friends."

  "And you are. I know this is not the way you envisioned it happening but, Cat, listen to me. I'm your friend and I only want to see the best for you. If I thought for one second Nick would intentionally hurt you and he didn't genuinely care about you, I would tell you to tell him go fuck himself. Because I believe you deserve a man who is loyal and honest. A man that is going to love you and show you love like no other woman has ever been loved on the face of this earth, every night and day of your life, take you to the highest heights of passion in not only good but also bad times."

  I smile at her words but it's sad and forced. "Wouldn't that be nice. Can you find me that man?"

  "Yes. His name is Nicholas Alexander. You need to talk to him."

  I know I do. "I will, soon."

  "Good. Now, I think you've spent way too much time in this house, you need a stress reliever."

  "I'm definitely in need of a stress reliever."

  "Guess who texted me right before I came over here."

  "I don't know, who?"

  She's getting all excited moving her shoulders up and down, turning her head from side to side to her own imaginary beat and repeating his name over and over again. "Matt Fuller, Matt Fuller, Matt Fuller."

  I can't help but smile at her antics. "What are you doing?"

  "Trying to cheer you up, is it working?"

  "A little."

  "Good. Matt invited me to a party tonight. He told me to bring a friend, which means he wants me to bring you."

  "I don't know if that's a good idea." I shake my head into my pillow covering my face.

  "Why not? You have anything better to do than mope and sulk around here all night like the walking dead? You have to go out, girl, have a little fun and take your mind off your troubles. Matt will be more than willing to help you relieve some stress."

  I do need to get out. Hands on her hips, she waits for me to say yes.

  "I
'm not telling you to sleep with him. You already did that; don't look at me like that. Since you've already been there and done that the awkwardness is out of the way."

  "I don't know."

  "Come with me, please, pretty pretty please."

  "Fine. Where is this party at?"

  "The Bronx."

  "The Bronx? Are you sure you want to go to this party?"

  "Yes."

  "Which part of the Bronx is this?"

  "I'm not sure. I have to text him back and get the address, it can't be that bad. He's thinking about buying this club with his business partner and redoing the whole thing."

  "You got this information from a mere text?"

  "After you left the club with Nick, Chris, Matt, and I talked for a while. I found out he's not only hot, he's ambitious. He's in the night club business now, he already owns one in midtown, and he and his partner are trying to open up another one. Their plan is to have a high- end upscale club in every borough."

  "Every borough."

  "Yes, I don't know who his partner is but he seems to be well connected and wealthy."

  "I'm happy for him that he's doing so well. You're right; it can't be that bad if he's inviting us to come out there."

  "That's right. Let me help you pick out an outfit." She bounces off the bed and looks to my closet and my suitcases on the floor.

  "I don't think so, the last time you helped me pick out an outfit nothing good came of it."

  "That's where you're wrong." She shifts her hips, plants both hands on them with one side of her mouth turning up in a smirk. "You got laid, didn't you? Something you were desperately in need of to sweep out the cobwebs. It was getting dusty down there, maybe even a little musty from lack of exercise."

  I can't believe she just said that.

  "Close your mouth, honey, you know I'm speaking the truth. You need to let the cat out once in a while, let it breathe." She's making circular motions with her hips and her chest saying, "Breathe in, breathe out, work it out, work it out."

  "Bitch!" I'm trying to sound insulted, but I can't help but laugh.

  "A lovable bitch, now let's see what's in this bag." She gets down on the floor and unzips my bag, sweeping her long hair over her shoulders. "Don't you think you need to unpack, you've been here for a while."

  "I know. I'm hoping to get my own place before I have to do that." I crawl down to the end of my bed sitting up with my toes drawing circles on the floor.

  "Why?"

  "I've lived by myself for two years. I didn't have to answer to anyone, tell them where I was going or when or if I was coming back home for the night. It's a bit of an adjustment when you have to start doing that again when you're twenty-four."

  "Do you really have to check-in like you're sixteen and in high school again? Your parents don't seem like that type."

  "They're not that bad but I'm trying to be considerate. I'm happy to be home but I forgot what it was like living here. When you visit everything's good. When you're living here you start to remember the things that bothered you and why you might have stayed away so long. Like my mother nagging me about finding a man, comparing me to Kate, and reminding me I could always do better especially with my appearance. Those are the little things I did not miss when I was away."

  Ava stops digging through my bag and looks back at me. "You know you can always come and stay with me, right? I have more than enough space."

  "I know, but I'm already here and they would be insulted if I chose to stay with you instead of them."

  "My door is always open to you; we could be roommates like we always wanted to be back in college. Two hot chicks in the city, I could see it now."

  "So can I, you leading me astray. Wild times and even wilder nights."

  "Hell yeah." She smiles, pumping her fist in the air clutching one of my bras while I laugh.

  Chapter Eight

  Nick

  We come down and I see the one person I didn't want to run into.

  "Hey, Kate," I say with a smile. She's lying on the couch with her forearm over her eyes, looking business ready as usual, her hair over her shoulders and the light catching the highlights in it. She sits up, looks at me, then at Ava before rolling her eyes back over to me.

  "Hi, Cat, you're going out dressed like that?"

  "Dressed like what?" I repeat, looking down at my clothes.

  "Isn't that skirt a little short for you? It seems more like your friend's style."

  "Ho, ho, ho, Kate. It's nice to see you too, and her friend has a name, it's Ava."

  "I know what your name is. I chose not to acknowledge you because looking at you is the last thing I want to do."

  "That's what I get for trying to be nice to you, Kate. I guess the gloves are off." Ava smiles down at her, patting the side of her feet with her fingers. "You're back to being a full-blown megawatt bitch with your stuck-up ass."

  "Why don't you shut the hell up, Ava!" Kate says, brushing Ava's hand away with her feet. "I can't stand you." She props herself up on her elbows ready to get off the couch to get at Ava.

  "The feeling's mutual," Ava says, moving closer.

  I have to stop this before someone gets hurt. Ava is not above fighting a pregnant woman especially if it's Kate. That's not true; anyone else would get a pass except Kate.

  "Wow, let's settle down, ladies, and act like the grown-ups we are." I place my hand on Ava's shoulder and stand in front of her. Kate is sitting straight up in the middle of the couch ready to attack Ava. I can't remember a time when they weren't ready to attack each other, they're like oil and water, they don't mix.

  "In answer to your question, Kate, no, I don't see anything wrong with my outfit. It's appropriate for where I'm going tonight."

  "And where's that?"

  I can hear the attitude in her voice as she's staring daggers at Ava. I hear Ava whisper under her breath, "None of your damn business." I'm hoping Kate didn't hear.

  "We're going to a club in the Bronx with—"

  "A friend," Ava interjects.

  "Why would you go to a club in the Bronx?"

  "We were invited by a friend."

  "So that makes it safe. I see you must want a cap in your ass."

  "What?" Ava and I look at her and start laughing. Ava's the first to answer her.

  "First of all, don't ever talk street slang, and second, don't be such a snob, there are plenty of neighborhoods in the Bronx that are safe to stroll through without worrying something's going to happen. It's the same as good ole Brooklyn. You have your bad parts and you have your good parts, you have to be alert and pay attention to your surroundings."

  "She's right, Kate, we'll be fine. We're going to take a cab there and back."

  "Do what you want, don't say I didn't warn you." She closes her eyes and lies back against the cushions. For the first time I notice she doesn't look well.

  "Are you okay?"

  "Yeah, yeah, I have a major headache that's gotten worse since I've been talking to you and her. My stomach's not doing too great either, feels like I've been on a roller coaster all day."

  This is when the guilt sets back in again and I feel like crap for being the worst sister that ever lived. I hope to God that I'm not pregnant. God, if you help me, I promise to try my best to stay away from Nick so he can be there for my sister and her baby. We all have to make a sacrifice and it looks like it's going to have to be me.

  "Can I get you anything before I leave?" I offer.

  "If it's not too much trouble."

  "No trouble at all."

  "Warm ginger ale and crackers would be good."

  "Okay, I'll be right back." I grab Ava by the hand. "You, come with me."

  "Like I was going to stay with her," Ava says, looking back at Kate with a sour look on her face.

  I grab a can of warm ginger ale and the crackers from the pantry.

  "Ginger ale and crackers, Cat?"

  "So?"

  "Gimme a break, her pregnancy is supposed to be a
secret, right?"

  "That's what I was told."

  "Who's not going to know if she's going around asking for crackers and ginger ale, she's a wine drinker. She's so obvious."

  "Are you saying she's intentionally—"

  "Trying to tell people she's pregnant without actually having to say the words?"

  "I don't know."

  "I do. When's the last time you had a headache, had an upset stomach and asked for crackers and warm ginger ale?" She frowns at me with one hand on the counter and answers her own question. "That's something only a pregnant person does. You and I would self-medicate, pop two Advils and call it a night. She's lying in there drawing attention to herself for everyone to see, when she could go home to her house where no one can see her."

  "I don't believe she would do that."

  "She's your sister and you feel guilty so you can't see as clearly as I can."

  "I have news for you, you can't see too clearly either when it comes to Kate." Holding the stuff for Kate I go to the kitchen door. "Our cab is probably outside." She doesn't say anything else but I know she's not giving up on this theory. I hope for Kate's sake Ava's not right about this 'cause Nick is not going to be happy.

  Nick

  "Well, fancy seeing you here."

  "Mom, you called me today and I told you I was coming over."

  "The only son I gave birth to has decided to come visit his dear mother."

  "Mom, are you okay? Is it time for me to make that call to admit you?"

  "You would do that to your own mother, the woman who gave birth to you, gave you life, brought you into this world after twenty hours of hard labor? Refusing any kind of pain medication for fear my child would be somehow affected by it?"

  "In the blink of an eye."

  "That's what I get for being a loving and supportive mother. An ungrateful child."

  A crooked smile on my face, I walk across the kitchen where my mother is sitting at the table flipping through a magazine. I lean down and plant a kiss on her cheek. "What's this all about, Mother?"