Imperfections

by Shaniel Watson

  "I know what you want, but I want to hear it. Tell me what you want."

  "I want you to fuck me." He's a wicked man.

  "Are you sure?"

  "Yes! Fuck me, Nick…fuck me."

  "That's all you had to say," he says with a wicked smile. "Get up." He grabs my hands, pulling my shirt over my head. "Take your pants off," he orders.

  I do what he tells me, taking off my shoes and pulling my tights off as fast as I can. He pins me up against the wall, grabs the back of my head and with my mouth wide open, he crushes his lips to mine ramming his tongue inside. I moan out loud with surprise. "Mmm…Mmm…mmm."

  Dropping his hands, they move with urgency to unbuckle his pants. I hear the sound of his zipper. I can hardly stand up straight when he tells me to put my hand around his neck. I hear the sound of a foil packet being opened while he's kissing me so hard my body is almost painfully pressed against the wall. I'm so turned on, I don't care; I need to feel him pushing inside me as quickly as possible. Grabbing my thighs, he slides me up against the wall spreading them wide open. He sinks into me fast, the penetration deep, I pull my head back breaking our mouths apart and gasp out his name. He stops inside me, groaning, burying his face in the side of my neck.

  "Oh, Nick! Oh, Nick!"

  Pulling out of me he slides back in, faster and faster each time. "Cat, it feels so good to be fucking you. I love your fucking pussy."

  "Nick," I pant, holding back a scream.

  "I fucking love this shit."

  "Nick."

  "Yes."

  "Yes."

  "Yes."

  "Yes."

  "Yeeeees…Nick!"

  I explode without warning; my body squeezing him harder and harder inside me. He grabs my ass tighter, his fingers slipping in, opening me up wider for even deeper penetration as he stretches me growing bigger and harder, pushing all the way up inside of me. Ramming me against the wall till I feel him hitting the top of what must be the infamous spot. I can't close my mouth or speak, my orgasm hitting me fast and hard. He's matching the rhythm of every pulsing quake I feel in my body. He pulls out fast one more time and grinds back inside me filling me to the hilt, throbbing inside me, jerking me against the wall over and over again. I'm spread so wide I feel like my hip bones are separating, his fingers digging into the flesh of my thighs and ass.

  My head falls back against the wall, I'm out of breath and panting like crazy, my chest is rapidly rising and falling; with my throat dry, I try to find some spit in my mouth to swallow. Nick blows out a deep breath, leaning against my body. He has me wedged between him and the wall for support. I wrap my arms around his neck tighter. He kisses me under my chin and my mouth.

  "I wanted to do that all fucking day. Damn, that was good."

  My voice is really hoarse I'm not sure if he can hear me well. "Yeah, that was damn good."

  "I'm glad I pleased you."

  "You always please me. Inside and out."

  "That's what I like to hear. I like to please you over and over again in many ways."

  Yes, he does.

  He sucks on my bottom lip and lets go. I look down at him and notice something for the first time. "You didn't take off your clothes."

  "No time, I wanted you too badly. I barely put on the condom. That's what you do to me, you drive me crazy with need."

  I smile at him kissing the side of his face.

  "You like that, huh?"

  I nod my head up and down and he slaps me on the side of my butt softly.

  "Let's go take a bath so I can take you to bed. I want to stay in you for as long as I can but I have to take this off. I can't wait to stop using these with you."

  I look down at our bodies still joined and the condom on him. He brushes my hair out of my face. I look up in his eyes, mesmerizing as always.

  "Cat, I don't want to have anything between us."

  "Me either," I say, resting my forehead against his. A melancholy mood settles over me. "I wish we didn't have so many things working against us. I want it to be only me and you."

  "I know, baby, I know."

  Chapter Eighteen

  Cat

  I wake up in Nick's bed and he's not here. What time is it? I roll over and look at my phone. It's 3 a.m. I roll over to his side of the bed on my stomach; putting my head on his pillow, I inhale deeply. His pillow smells like him, a crisp fresh masculine scent I can't quite place. I wonder where he is. I still can't believe I'm here in his bed naked as the day I was born. I smile to myself. I can't believe I'm here after all these years. It's not how I would have wanted it to happen, but I wouldn't change a thing.

  I came to go out for dinner and we ended up making love. I wish I could make time stand still and replay every single moment of what we did together. He wants me and I want him. I don't know how we're going to make this work with everything and everyone against us. When my family finds out about us they'll probably disown me and kick me out of the family. Kate's going to hate me. If I were her, I would definitely hate me.

  Maybe the best thing to do is keep this thing between Nick and me a secret for as long as possible. Nick's not going to like sneaking around lying to everyone for too long. I hate the idea of us hiding the way we feel about each other but I don't want to be the one to break my family's heart. To see the disappointment in their faces for what I've done and what I'm doing to my sister. God, it's going to be a hundred times worse when they find out she's pregnant.

  This was not what I envisioned when I decided to come back. I thought Nick and I had a real chance of being together since our time apart. What can be better than being in love with your best friend, the person who knows you the best, who you can share almost anything with without being judged. Unconditionally. The last thing in the world I expected was to come home and find out my sister is engaged— and most likely expecting—to the same man I spent more than half of my life loving albeit a one-sided love, it still hurts. It will always hurt every time I think about it. I can't believe I even have to think about something like this. Damn. Life can be a cruel bitch. When you've found the happiness you've always wanted it slaps you across the face and tells you to wake the fuck up!

  I roll back over to the other side of the bed to look at my phone again. Sitting up I look around the room for something to put on so I can go find Nick. I see one of his white dress shirts folded neatly on a chair. I throw the covers off, walk over and put it on. It's big on me, it's practically swallowing me up. I feel like a little kid playing dress up in her daddy's clothes except this daddy is the hottest daddy I've ever seen. A picture of Kate and a baby in her arms—who looks like Nick—pops into my head. I close my eyes against the ache in my chest and push it out of my mind. I hope this baby is not Nick's. It would make things easier. Wouldn't it be great if I had a genie in a bottle?

  I stand in the doorway with my hands crossed against the doorjamb watching him. I can stare at him for hours. He's sitting on the floor in his pajama pants, shirtless, well defined abs clearly outlined with his back against the sofa. His legs are up, forearms on his knees, a beer bottle in his hand. He's thinking about something, I wonder what it is. To anyone else it would seem as if he's relaxed and enjoying the view of the city. Through windows so clear it's like there's nothing there, as if you can reach out and touch all you see.

  From his profile, I can see his jaw is tense and his lips are drawn together. Maybe he's having second thoughts about us. Why wouldn't he? I'm having doubts myself. As much as I want him and me to be together I would be lying to myself and to him if I said I wasn't scared about what lies ahead for us. This is a no-win situation for everyone. We all have something to lose. For me, the respect of my family and them seeing me in a different light. What if they choose sides and I'm not on the side they choose? I don't know if I can handle being an outsider in my own family.

  As much as I don't want Kate's baby to be Nick's, I know if it's not, she'll be losing out on a great father for her baby. She's still my sister an
d I love her, I want to see her have the best. To be happy and have everything she's ever wanted. Married to a wonderful man and a father for her child that will put the both of them first before anyone or anything else. Like Ava said, a man that will show her and her child a love that only comes around once in a lifetime.

  Nick runs the chance of losing a family he's known and been close to for years. He could lose a friend that is a brother to him. Family comes first but they are family to each other. They grew up together, wherever one was the other was never far behind. They saw each other through good times and bad. Not everyone is lucky to have a friendship like theirs.

  I watch him for another few minutes before I decide to walk to him. Seeing him sitting there raising the bottle to his mouth taking a long pull of his beer, looking sexier than any man has a right to in the middle of the night, makes me want to run my hands through his charcoal black hair, ease my legs over him, taking his lips between my teeth, kissing him until I can't think anymore.

  "Hey, you," I whisper to him, not wanting to disturb the peacefulness in the room. He takes my hand and I can't help but smile at the feeling that flows up to my arms through my body from this one simple touch. I sit down next to him and flick my tongue over his shoulder with an open-mouthed kiss.

  "Mmm…if you keep that up, I'm going to rip that shirt off and we're going to go for round three right here on the floor."

  "I wouldn't object, I think I might like that. Me on my back, you on top of me doesn't sound too bad at all."

  "No, it doesn't."

  He kisses me softly on the lips and puts his hand on the side of my face with the beer bottle in the other hand. I open my mouth and run my tongue against his upper lip. I feel the warmth of his mouth against mine, the sweet taste of beer mixed with the intoxicating smell. I moan and pull back to look into his eyes, he rests his forehead against mine.

  "Are you okay?"

  "Yeah. I woke up and you were gone."

  "I'm sorry, did I wake you?"

  "No, you were gone for a while. I missed you so I decided to come looking for you. You looked like you had something on your mind. Are you having second thoughts about us?" His eyes close down a little. I can see the intense look that changes the shade to the color of the sky on a cloudy day.

  "There are no second thoughts when it comes to the way I feel about you, and us being together. I know what I want. I want you. I will always want you. Do you understand me?" he says with all the intensity I see in his eyes.

  I nod my head. "Yes." He runs his thumb over my cheekbone, kissing me on the corner of my mouth.

  "Don't ever doubt the feelings I have for you, Cat."

  "So what's wrong?"

  "It's nothing for you to worry about. It's late, you should go back to bed."

  I place my hand on his arm before he has a chance to get up. "If you're worried about it, then it's something for me to worry about. Don't try to lie to me. I know when something is bothering you; we've been friends far too long for me not to know."

  He puts the bottle down to the side, spreads his legs apart, pulls me between his legs, and puts his arm around my shoulders. He lets out a deep breath and I rest the back of my head against his bare chest. Bending down, he kisses me on the side of my neck and wraps his other arm around my waist. I could sit here like this with him forever. Just the two of us. Safe and secure.

  "I love that you know me so well. I missed my friend. I'm glad you came back to me."

  "I'm here and I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what's on your mind. I know if there was something on my mind, you wouldn't stop until you knew what it was."

  "I was thinking about a case I'm going to take and my father. Life in general."

  "Is your father a part of the case?"

  "No, he's a part of the reason I took this case."

  "Why? Did he ask you to?"

  "It goes back to what he taught me about being in business and a lawyer."

  "What did he teach you? He's a pretty good lawyer. If you learned something from him it had to be good, it helped make you the success you are now."

  "Yeah, it did, but at what cost? When you're a lawyer somewhere along the way you have to do things and make some deals that go against what you thought you believed in. Things that you would never do to get to the top of your game where you want to be."

  "Like what?"

  "Let's say there's a case where a young man allegedly mugs an old woman, he's arrested, his father believes he's innocent. I know he's one hundred percent guilty but his father wants the best for him, he doesn't want his only son to go to jail. He wants to get the best money and power can buy for him. I refuse to represent his son. He says, 'There's a case you're working on and I can give you what you need to win, which you can't get on your own to keep an innocent man from going to jail for life, for a crime he didn't commit. If you represent my son it's yours.'

  "What would you do? Would you accept his offer?"

  I think about it, while he's rubbing his hand across my stomach I look out the window.

  "I know what you're thinking. This is a simply answer, it's black and white, yes or no, right or wrong. But if I refuse his offer an innocent young man goes to jail for fifty years. His life is over before he has a chance to experience it. On the other hand, if I take the case even though his son is one hundred percent guilty of attacking this poor old woman going through her regular daily routine minding her own business, I can get him off.

  "There are no witnesses, she didn't see what he looked like, her eyesight is failing; she can't even tell you what he was wearing at the time of her attack. The only thing she can recall is the scent of the cologne he was wearing. He was arrested five blocks away from where she was mugged with the exact amount of money she had on her at the time, fifty-three dollars and eight cents was exactly what she had."

  "And he had that exact amount on him?"

  "That and a pen her granddaughter had given her for her eightieth birthday. All I have to do is put her on the stand and make her look like a senile confused old lady by making her doubt herself. If I don't take the case, someone else could take the case and get him off and I run the risk of sending an innocent man to jail for a crime he didn't commit or I could take the case, help set an innocent man free while at the same time letting a guilty man that committed a far lesser crime free. The punk wouldn't see a day in jail for the crime he committed."

  "If you were this lawyer, what would you do?" I ask, not coming to any decision of my own.

  "I would take the case and set an innocent man free."

  "What about the elderly lady? The other victim, where's her justice? Who is going to stand up for her and give her the justice she deserves?" I ask him, feeling sad for her.

  "She becomes an unfortunate casualty in the pursuit of justice for all. Her cuts and bruises will heal. She's had a chance to live her life. Sometimes you make a deal with the devil and he comes back to collect.

  "That was the first deal I ever made, I've made a few more since then. Today, today was the last of my deals I made with one of the many devils out there. He came to collect."

  Wow. "Have you ever regretted making the choice you made?"

  "No. But I was sorry she didn't get the justice she rightfully deserved. I know it doesn't make up for what happened to her, but I paid her legal fees and paid her rent anonymously until she died last year."

  This is a real side of him I never saw before. He's really showing me all sides, good and bad.

  "In many ways I'm like my father, as much as I try not to be. I'm not perfect, Cat, I'm the definition of perfectly imperfect."

  So am I.

  "That's another reason I tried so hard to fight my feelings for you."

  "Personally, I don't know your father well, I've heard things about him, but what does that have to do with your feeling for me?"

  "My dad was never faithful to my mother. Well, maybe he was in the beginning of their marriage…that's what I assume anyway from t
heir pictures and the way my mother used to talk about the start of their marriage. It definitely wasn't the case toward the end of their marriage."

  "What happened, why did they get divorced?"

  "He couldn't keep it in his pants. He had women practically falling out the kitchen cabinets. Didn't even try to hide it."

  "That must have been hard for you?"

  "Yeah, it was so bad I was afraid to go in the kitchen. I was afraid a big-breasted woman might fall on top of me and smother me to death."

  I laugh at his attempt at a joke. "Nick, that's not funny."

  "Yes, it is, you're laughing. Picture the headlines."

  I shake my head at the thought. "He was a repeat offender."

  "A repeat offender?"

  "A guy who cheats more than once, it's their thing. I dated a few of those, I'm so happy I didn't sleep with any of them."

  "That makes two of us."

  He takes a sip of his beer and puts it back down.

  "I can't believe he would do that to your mother. She's such a nice person."

  "Seriously, fucked-up things usually happen to the nicest people."

  "From the handful of times I've met your father he was always nice to me."

  "He was probably scouting you out to recruit you to be one of his new mistresses when you came of age and just ripe for the picking."

  My eyes wide, I turn my head up. He looks down at me with a smile and a soft chuckle.

  "Eww, I'm glad you're joking 'cause that would just be gross, a real perv move." This is the first time Nick has ever really talked about his father to me. Now I know why. "It must have been hard to go through that, to see her go through that, I know how much you love your mother."

  "I don't want to hurt you like that."

  I twist around in his arms and sit up on my knees in front of him. "Will you?"

  His knees up, he puts his arms on top of them looking directly in my eyes. He doesn't say a word, it's like he's searching for the answer. It shouldn't take this long.

  "No."

  "Putting my hands on his face I look into his eyes and run the pad of my thumb across his lips. Searching for my own answer.