Imperfections

by Shaniel Watson

  "Minus the drugs of course," she says.

  "It wouldn't be rock and roll without a little something."

  He better not be into anything crazy. I don't condone everything he does but he's young, if he's going to make mistakes, now's the time to do it. I stand behind Cat and put my hands on her shoulders.

  "Hey, it better not be more than a little alcohol and medicinal herbs you're talking about."

  "I'm not into anything crazy. I told you I was cutting back. I have to live up to that Alexander name."

  "You don't have to live up to anything. All you need to do is take care of yourself and be you."

  "I know."

  Cat looks up at me and puts a hand over one of mine. "Oh, I missed you guys. Brotherly love."

  I look down at her and roll my eyes.

  "Cat, are you the reason why my brother's house looks like this?"

  "Like what?"

  "Like Christmas gone wild." He waves his hand around my kitchen and walks to the living room.

  Cat walks into the living room and stands by the Christmas tree. It looks bigger than last night, it has to be eight feet tall. She was very happy decorating this thing singing Christmas carols. She decided to make it blue, gold and silver with about a million white lights and decorations. My house has never seen half this much Christmas cheer.

  "Christmas has gone more than wild in here and I love it. So does your brother, he brought Christmas to me a few weeks early. He's going to get an extra special gift from me."

  I sit on the armrest of the couch. Gage stands next to her in front of the tree. "I think you were already giving it to him when I walked in here, if he needs more, it might kill him, it might kill you."

  Cat and I both look at him looking at the tree, our heads spun around at the same time. I see the blush creeping up her cheeks furiously. I told this guy to watch his mouth. "Hey, hey, it's time for you to go!" I say, standing up beside him. "You've overstayed your welcome, next time call before you come."

  Cat gives me a dirty look for making him leave but it's time for him to go.

  "Is it time for me to leave already?"

  "Yes."

  "Cat, do you want me to leave?"

  "No, you don't have to."

  "Yes, he does." I slap my hand down on his shoulder hard. We both have a tight smile and nod to each other. Cat pinches me on the shoulder hard. "Ow! What was that for?" Ignoring me she holds on to Gage's arm.

  "Gage, you don't have to leave, we didn't get to finish talking."

  She's rubbing his arm like he's the injured party and she's going to be upset with me for what he said. I'd like to wipe that smirk off his face.

  "We have plenty of time to do that. I'll be around a lot more if you're going to be here."

  "Good."

  He swoops down, lifts her off her feet in a death grip hug he knows I'm not going to like and a kiss way too close to her lips. He puts her down with a cheesy grin meant for me.

  "You should come out with me and Ava. I guarantee you a good time."

  "I'll think about—"

  "She's had enough of a good time with Ava already. Both of you at once, that would kill her like you said."

  She puts her hands on her hips. "You don't speak for me, Nick, if I want to go out with them, I will."

  I'm not going to get into this. "She's not going and if she does, I'm going to be all over her ass like a stripper's ass cheeks on a pole."

  "Whatever, Nick." Turning her back on me I watch her kiss Gage and I walk him out.

  "Man, you and Cat. Does Chris know?"

  "No, not yet."

  "It's going to be like clash of the titans when he does."

  "It's not like that with Cat."

  "I hope not, I like Cat. Bro, your track record with women and relationships isn't good."

  "You don't have to tell me, I know. Cat's different, she's not like the others; she makes me feel things I've never felt with any other woman. She makes me want to do things, I want to protect her from any and everything that can possibly hurt her or cause her pain. I want to do everything I can to make her happy. It's always been like that but even more so now."

  "Deep. I never thought I would see this. You really care about her."

  "Yeah, I do. Things between us are complicated so don't tell anyone you saw her here."

  "I got you."

  "I know you do. I'll call you later and let you know what's up."

  I watch him leave and breathe in the cold crisp air through my lungs. I wish I can make things different for Cat. I say things are going to be fine if we go through this together but the truth is, I don't know what the hell is going to happen. Things are only going to get worse before they get better, that's the only thing I'm sure of. I'm going to do the only thing I can do today, enjoy this day with her before the realities of Monday morning hit.

  "Cat?"

  She's not in any of the rooms and I know she didn't go downstairs. I go upstairs to the roof. She's sitting on the chase where she asked me to make love to her, looking at the roses. I put my legs around her and kiss her on the cheek.

  "It was nice seeing Gage. He looks much older from the last time I saw him. He looks more like you now."

  "You think so?"

  "Yeah, a dark brown-haired, blue-eyed version of you ten years ago. Tall, cute, built body, self-assured and dripping sensuality."

  I smile at her. "Dripping sensuality? I hope you weren't checking out my little brother."

  "You can call Gage a lot of things but little is not one of them. I'm only stating the obvious, he resembles you."

  "And it's obvious you were looking at my brother with unbrotherly-like affection."

  "Oh, shut up, I was not. I couldn't point out his resemblance to you without noticing those things, could I? Don't be jealous."

  "Me jealous of Gage? I don't think so."

  "Good, I hate an insecure man. I prefer my men tall, dark, and a little intense."

  "Intense. How intense?"

  "Where I don't know if he's going to make love to me or assault me in the bedroom."

  Here I'm thinking she's going to say one thing and she surprises me and makes me laugh. "You make me laugh when I don't expect it. You're saying earlier you were what…scared?"

  "No, I'm saying you were upset and I was a little apprehensive about you…How should I put this?"

  "Say it any way you want to. You don't have to be apprehensive, I'm not going to be overly aggressive toward you in the bedroom or out of it." I sweep her hair over her shoulder and look at her profile. "I would never hurt you like that. That would be like me hurting myself and that's one thing I would never do as long as I'm breathing on this earth. Don't ever be afraid of me."

  "I know you wouldn't intentionally hurt me."

  "Is that why you're up here, to escape from me?"

  "Definitely not. I wanted to go outside and enjoy the view of the city without actually going outside. What better place than an enclosed rooftop garden oasis."

  "I'm glad you like it so much. I hardly come up here; it's nice to know the money I spend to keep it up hasn't been wasted."

  "It's not. This is our place, it's special. Our very own Garden of Eden."

  "Yes, it is."

  "Without the apple of knowledge and the serpent of course."

  "Who would the serpent be?"

  "A big-breasted woman."

  I put my head down on her shoulder and laugh so hard my whole body's shaking.

  Chapter Twenty

  Cat

  I wish I had another day here with Nick. I love being here with him. When I leave tomorrow I have to go back to pretending I'm not totally head over heels in love with him. I love him even more after this weekend. I see parts of him I've never seen before, the sweet caring side that turned his house into a Christmas wonderland for me and the shadier darker side. I'm not so sure I like that side of him but what I feel and the way he makes me feel when I'm with him is better than I ever imagined.

>   My phone is vibrating again. I forgot to turn it back off. I don't need another incident like earlier today. Everything has been going so well, I do not want a repeat of what happened. I'm not even looking at it I'm just turning it off. Nick was in his office working for a while, he's in the shower now and I'm waiting for him so we can decide what to eat. I'm starving. I never realized how much he works, even when he's off, he's working.

  I'm sitting on the couch looking at the tree we decorated together in front of the floor-to-ceiling window. This is my favorite tree out of all the trees I've done. I wasn't feeling great before, about Christmas, which is a first for me. Nick has changed that, I can't wait to spend Christmas with him. Hopefully waking up with the man I love. What can be better? I know what would make it better but I'm going to take what I can get and hope for the best until the test comes back. I don't need anything else, I'm going to have everything I need on Christmas morning. Waking up in his arms is going to be my Christmas and birthday present.

  "Have you decided what you want to eat?"

  He saunters into the room with no shirt, towel around his neck, looking mouth wateringly good. His hair is a wet, curly mess giving him a roguish look in pajama pants. He could have any girl here with him tonight but he's with me. Yeah, it feels good.

  "No, I was waiting for you." I wrap my hands around his waist popping up off the couch. He puts his arms around me.

  "Your hair is still wet." I brush it back with my hand, raking my fingers through it.

  "I couldn't wait to be with you."

  Taking the towel I sit down on the couch. "Sit!" I say, pointing down.

  "Yes, ma'am." He sits between my legs on the floor.

  I run my fingers through his hair loving the way it glides through my fingers before I start drying it with his towel.

  "I like when you do that, it feels good."

  "You never had one of your countless number of bed partners do this for you?"

  "No, we didn't have a relationship like that. We didn't have that kind of intimacy between us. All my bed partners were just that, nothing more."

  "What about Paige?" He leans his head back to look up at me with a look on his face I can't read.

  "Let's not talk about her tonight, I'm in a good mood."

  He doesn't want to talk about the only woman he let live with him. I didn't know he lived with her until he mentioned it. I wonder why? He had to have serious feeling for her. No woman has ever gotten that close to him before. I'll leave it alone for now but I know she must have meant a lot more to him than he'll admit. I wonder how much more. "Okay. What do you feel like eating? I was thinking about maybe, Italian?" I rake my hand through his almost dry hair.

  "Are you upset?"

  "No. We don't have to talk about her if you don't want to. I'm not upset. Now, what are we going to eat?"

  "If my girl wants Italian, we're having Italian."

  After we eat the most extravagant takeout I've ever seen, complete with swan-shaped paper napkins, we decide to watch television lying on the couch, my back against his chest. As usual we can't decide what to watch. Nothing has changed there. He wants to watch Sunday night football and I want to watch anything else.

  "How is it you never bothered to learn anything about football? You came to a lot of our games. What were you doing?"

  "I was cheering when everyone else was. The only reason I came was to support you and Chris. And watch you run around in your tights. I guarantee you most of those girls were there to see hot guys. Why else would they be freezing their butts off, for the love of the game? I think not."

  "A lot of those girls knew about football, they bothered to learn something."

  "That's because they were football groupies. They would bend over backwards doing flips to learn calculus if it meant one of you would give them the time of day. I didn't have to be a groupie. All the guys on the team knew who I was, and they wouldn't think about touching me because of you and Chris."

  "Well, it turns out not all the guys," he says dryly.

  Oh no, here we go.

  "Fake-ass Barry White."

  "What?" I twist my head around. "What does Barry White and Matt have to do with each other?" He rolls his eyes like I should know. Well, I don't.

  "That's what the guys on the team called him. He would single one girl out, buy them a drink, and spend the next hour making them feel like they were the hottest thing in the room. Then he would drop his voice real low lean in close like this…" He puts his mouth against my ear. "Put his thumb in the palm of their hands and rub like this." He takes my hand and shows me. It feels good. Then he'd whisper some Barry White shit in the girl's ear and that was it, the girl would do almost anything he wanted her to.

  "What did he say?" I ask.

  "He wouldn't tell us, didn't want us stealing his lines. Eight out of ten times it worked though."

  "He never tried it with me."

  "That's what you want, Cat?" He drops his voice low to sound like a cross between Barry White and Matt. "Baby girl. Is that what you really want to hear, sweating and panting on top of you? Baby girrrl."

  I make a face at him and get up. "You need to stop." I try my hardest not to laugh, the way he says it really is funny. At least he's not angry, I don't think. "Have fun watching the game by yourself, I'm going in the other room."

  "Which rooom, baby girrrl?"

  I smile, keep walking, and yell, "Not funny." I hear him yell back behind me,

  "Yeah, it is. Remember that picture of him sweating all over you like a slimy wet slick back seal the next time he calls you, baby girrrl!"

  Two and a half hours later he walks into his bedroom. "How was the game?"

  "My team won." He pulls his shirt over his head and walks toward the foot of the bed.

  "They kicked ass?"

  "You know it. It would have been more fun if I wasn't left all by myself."

  "Be nicer to me next time maybe you'll have some company."

  "Was I being mean to you?" He raises one eyebrow in question.

  I should make him suffer the rest of the night while I sleep naked rubbing against him. That would only make me suffer too. "Weren't you?"

  "I apologize if I hurt your feelings. Is there anything I could do to make you feel better?"

  I shake my head like a little girl and give him the pouty lips. He gives me a broad smile.

  "I like playful Cat. Can I play with you, Cat? What can I do to make you feel better?"

  He doesn't know but underneath these covers I'm completely naked. I'm feeling brave tonight. I sit all the way up against the headboard and slowly pull the cover down over my bare breasts.

  "Good God, those sure are perky, they're standing at attention."

  "Are they?"

  "Yes, ma'am. I might have to give you a 21-gun salute."

  "I don't know about 21 but you are definitely ready to salute." I let my eyes trail down his firm hard chest to the bulge in his pants. What a bulge it is. He reaches down, grasps the end of the sheet in his hands and slowly slides it all the way down my body to the floor. I try not to reach for the covers and pull it back over me. I've never been so bold in my life. From the intense heat I see in his eyes I know he likes it.

  "Come here." His voice is deep and low. "On your knees." He stands at the end of the bed waiting for me to follow his command. It's a command, no doubt about that.

  This is new for me. I have to try to be sexy when I'm not. I want him to come to me, I don't want to look stupid trying to be something I'm not.

  Pull yourself together, Cat! You can do this. You can be sexy confident even if you're not, fake it. You started this, see it through. I bite my bottom lip, rise up on my knees and hands, crawl my way down the bed with my back arched, breasts out and my head up trying to give my best come-hither look. Whatever the hell that is. I stop at the edge of the bed and rise up on my knees in front of him.

  I give a triumphant smile inside. On the outside I hold on to my sultry temptress attitud
e. I don't think I did too bad, he's not laughing. He still looks turned on, damn he looks good. When you're up close and personal completely naked, you get the full effect of those eyes together with his body. Damn, all he has to do is look at me like that and I know it's going to be good.

  "Are you sure you want to do this?"

  "Why wouldn't I be?" Maybe I wasn't as sexy as I thought I was.

  He runs his fingers down between my breasts to the top of my clit where he stops. "We were going at it pretty hard today, and last night. I know you're not used to that." He rubs a slow soft circle between my legs, barely touching me. "How does it feel?"

  My skin is tingling from his touch. I want his finger to keep going till he slips it in me but he doesn't move. Him being this concerned about me makes me want him even more. Even if I wasn't up to it I would be for him. I'm a little tender but he doesn't have to know that. This is my last night with him and I really want to be with him.

  "It's fine." I put the palm of my hand on his chest and rake my nails down his chest. I watch his skin go taut over his jaw. I sink my fingers in the waist band of his pants and yank him to me.

  "Damn, I want to ram my dick into you and fuck you."

  I wish he would, I'm really turned on now. I'm still surprised when he talks to me like this. He rubs the tip of his nose against mine with his eyes closed. I lick the center of his lips with my tongue and listen to him groan.

  "I like the way you taste," I tell him against his lips.

  He puts his hands on my hips. Runs the palms of them over my ass down to the back of my thighs. "Cat, I'm going to try and take it slow, if you keep doing things like that, I might not be able to control myself."

  I look him in the eyes with all the boldness I feel. "So don't try, fuck me." I pull his pants down around his ass. His dick springs free and brushes against my skin. His voice is strained when he speaks, I can see he's trying to control himself.

  "I don't want to hurt you, Cat."

  "You won't, I'll let you know if you are. I promise."

  That's all he needs to hear. Taking a firm hold of my thighs he sweeps my legs forward. I fall on my back with him between my legs at the end of the bed. My heart is beating fast from that one expert move. I feel the blood running through my veins waiting for him to come inside me.