Sabrina (Big Sky Dreams 2)

by Lori Wick

  Sabrina could have sighed with relief to have a change in subject. There was no point in guessing.

  139 “My mother is still there and sometimes it’s still hard to be away from her,” Cassidy went on.

  “You should tell her the details,” Trace said, and Cassidy didn’t hesitate. Sabrina listened intently, feeling like the day she learned that Callie had been a prostitute. It was too easy to believe that everyone’s life was idyllic, with no past pains. Cassidy’s experience with her own brother sounded as difficult as Sabrina’s relationship with her sister.

  Sabrina did not have a lot to say as the afternoon went on. She had much too much to think about.

  “You can drop us here,” Rylan said to Trace as they came into town. Sabrina wasn’t paying very close attention to where they were but suddenly found herself a few blocks from the church building.

  “Thanks, Trace,” she said, glad for a chance to walk the rest of the way home.

  “You’re welcome. Don’t forget what Cass said. Come back and visit us.”

  “I will.”

  “Thanks, Trace,” Rylan added, shaking the rancher’s hand and turning to find Sabrina ready with her goodbyes.

  “I’ll see you next week,” she started.

  “Why don’t I walk you home.”

  “It’s still light out,” Sabrina pointed out.

  “That’s good, actually,” Rylan said, taking her arm and turning her in the right direction. “I’ll still be able to see your face when you tell me why it upset you that I know Danny Barshaw.”

  Sabrina frowned up at him, but Rylan didn’t comment. They walked in silence for a time, and Rylan thought that at this rate she would be headed up her stairs and he still wouldn’t know.

  “I write to them every week,” Sabrina suddenly said. “Did you know that?”

  140”No. I had heard that someone from Denver suggested you head this way, and I’ll be honest and tell you I wondered. I know a lot of folks in Denver, and my family is all there, so it makes sense to me.”

  Again more silence.

  “Why does it bother you?” Rylan asked.

  Because for a long, painful minute I forgot I asked Danny and Callie to let me do this on my own, and I feared that Danny wrote and told you about me.

  “I think,” Sabrina ended up saying very slowly, “that I was just taken by surprise. It’s not at all important. In fact it’s nice to have someone know them.”

  Rylan was quite sure this was not the whole of it, but he was not going to ask. There was something altogether fragile about this woman. It wasn’t something you saw on a first or second meeting, and it was certainly not something you would notice when she was painting the church building or sitting and sewing at Jeanette’s, but it was there.

  “Thank you for walking me home,” Sabrina said, now standing at the bottom of her stairs.

  “The next time you write to the Barshaws, please tell them I said hello.”

  “I will,” Sabrina agreed, but then just stood there. “They’ve never mentioned you. Maybe they were waiting for me to say I’d met you. Which I did in my last letter, but I haven’t heard back.”

  “Maybe they haven’t kept in touch with anyone lately and didn’t want to send you to someone who was no longer here.”

  “Maybe.”

  “That makes sense. Is it still bothering you?”

  Sabrina frowned again, but Rylan thought it was at herself. “It was a silly thing to be upset about.”

  “I don’t know about that. You’re a long way from home, and they’re your only link.”

  Sabrina looked up at him. He was so understanding at times, and

  141 for just a moment, she could see Trace and Cassidy, happy in their home. She had to work very hard to keep the yearning from her face and knew it was time to head upstairs.

  “Thanks again,” Sabrina said, and turned swiftly away.

  Rylan knew something had happened, but he had no idea what. Once she was inside, he turned for home, realizing that until he saw her again, he wouldn’t know if he was the problem or it was something within herself.

  P.

  Monday night found everyone at Brad and Meg’s ranch house. Trace and Cassidy were certainly there, as were Jeanette, Jeb, and Patience. They had also invited neighboring ranchers, Bart and Marty Carlisle, in order to celebrate Savanna’s first birthday.

  That little girl had no real idea she was the guest of honor, but that didn’t stop anyone’s fun. She was nearly walking on her own these days, and when she Managed a few steps, she usually clapped for herself and fell down. The group naturally found this hysterical and would laugh even harder when Savanna joined in.

  By the time supper was eaten, the men and women had found their own corners. The women were at the dining room table, and the men had settled into the living room, the conversation taking turns with ranching, town politics, and Jeb’s latest project in his workshop.

  “Marty’s birthday is in August,” Bart Carlisle said, lowering his voice. “I want a bookshelf for her, oak.”

  “What size?”

  “A tall one,” he said, “with a dark finish.”

  “I’ve got a tall one that doesn’t have finish right now. Why don’t you stop in and see it.”

  Bart was agreeing to this even as Marty was questioning Patience about a desk for Bart.

  “Bart’s birthday is in September. Is it too late for Jeb to start?”

  142 “I don’t think so. Are you coming into town this week?” “Maybe Saturday,” Marty said.

  “Come by and see us,” Patience invited. “We’re going on a trip next week, but if you come by this week, Jeb can get measurements on what you want and start it as soon as we get back.”

  Without warning Brad entered the dining room. The women swiftly fell silent, not willing to mention the topic of their conversation. Without meaning to, they all managed to look guilty.

  “Well, now,” he said with a smile, “I almost get the impression I was being talked about.”

  “Not at all,” his wife said in such an exaggerated way that Brad laughed.

  “What are you talking about in there?” Jeanette asked.

  “I’ll never tell,” Brad said, bringing smiles to every woman’s face and laughter when he wanted to know if it was time to cut the cake.

  The sky was growing very dark when Sabrina heard a knock on her door. She hoped that Bret Toben had not gotten it into his head to visit, but she still opened the door, lantern in hand.

  “Eliza?” Sabrina said to the woman on her landing. “I thought you’d moved out of town.”

  “My baby is sick,” Eliza whispered. “Do you think that Pastor would still pray?”

  “Yes, he would. Do you want me to go and get him?” “Will he come?”

  “If he’s home, I’m sure he will.”

  Eliza put a shaky hand to her mouth, tears coming to her eyes. She stumbled back down the stairs. Sabrina had to put her shoes back on but stopped only long enough to blow out her lantern before she started across town.

  143 Rylan had his Bible open, but his eyes were across the room. He was working on memorizing all of Psalm 144, and concentration was coming hard. The words were powerful, reminding Rylan of God’s will and force to do as He pleased. But the psalmist was humble, knowing that he was nothing compared to almighty God.

  “‘I will sing a new song unto thee, O God; upon a psaltery and an instrument of ten strings will I sing praises unto thee.” Rylan said out loud to the room just before someone knocked on the door.

  At this hour he knew it would be the sheriff, and almost smiled at the fact he’d just taken off his shoes.

  “Oh, you’re home!” Sabrina said with relief when the door opened, her voice breathless from running.

  “Sabrina, what’s the matter?”

  “It’s Eliza. Eliza. Her baby’s sick. She wants you to come and pray.” “I’ll get my shoes.”

  “All right.”

  “Sabrina!” Ryla
n was suddenly back. “Wait here for me.” Sabrina nodded, but Rylan couldn’t see it.

  “Did you hear me?”

  “I’ll wait,” she agreed, still breathing hard.

  Rylan was on the porch a few minutes later, and on the walk back across town he heard Sabrina at her most talkative.

  “I thought she was gone. Crystal said she’d moved on. She’s afraid of Zeke, for the baby. And then she was at my door. She was crying and asking for you. I know it’s dark, but she asked for you, and I couldn’t ignore that. The baby’s sick, and she’s so little. I had to come. You understand, don’t you? I had to.”

  “It’s all right, Sabrina,” Rylan said, but she was still talking.

  “I don’t know if I can do this. My heart breaks every time I talk to Crystal or Eliza. I thought I would be so strong, but my heart feels like lead when I see them. I don’t know what God wants from me, Pastor Rylan. I just want to help, but it hurts so much.”

  Rylan stopped and brought Sabrina to a stop with him.

  144 “You did the right thing in coming for me. We’ll just go to Eliza’s place now, and then you and I will find time to talk about it later.” “I’m sorry.”

  “There’s nothing to be sorry about. We’ll talk later.”

  Sabrina didn’t feel any better, but she knew she had to hush. Rylan didn’t need her going to pieces right now. He had a baby to pray for. Without saying another word, she turned and started toward Eliza’s. She calmed down enough to remember to pray, and then for the first time was able to watch Rylan Jarvik at work.

  “You’re warm, aren’t you, little one?” Rylan spoke to the tiny lethargic infant in his hands, his touch amazingly gentle. “I’m just going to hold you right close to me, Mirabel, and pray. You just rest while I pray for you.

  “Father in heaven, thank You for this little person You created in Your image. You have a plan for her, Lord. You know how long You want her days to be on this earth. You knit her frame together, and You can see every beat of her tiny heart.

  “Thank You for sending Mirabel into Eliza’s life. Help Eliza to trust You, Lord, even if You don’t plan to heal her daughter. Help us to be wise, Lord, and to know how to help Mirabel. Help us to trust You for the mighty God You are and to understand that Your ways are perfect. In the name of Your Son, I pray. Amen.”

  Rylan looked up at the women who sat side by side on the ancient davenport but kept the baby in his arms.

  “I’m going to find Doctor Ertz, Eliza. Mirabel has got to be seen.”

  “She’s so hot, and she’s stopped crying.”

  “I’ll find him,” Rylan said again, his heart fairly certain this child was dying. He handed the baby back to her mother and without letting himself look at Sabrina went swiftly from the house.

  “I didn’t think he would come,” Eliza said the moment he left.

  145 “I knew he would. I wasn’t sure he would be home, but he was.” Eliza looked at her and then down at the baby. She began to cry softly, and Sabrina had never felt so helpless in all her life.

  “I’ll come by the mercantile tomorrow and check on you,” Rylan said after he and Sabrina had walked the short distance to her stairway. There was little moon, but the sky still managed to glow with stars. It’s immense beauty, however, was lost on this couple tonight.

  “You were wonderful tonight,” Sabrina said, almost as if she hadn’t heard him. “Yu knew just what to do and say.”

  “Thank you for coming to get me.”

  “I wish I could do more. I wish I knew what to do.”

  “I think you did very well. And Doc Ertz was optimistic. He got Mirabel to eat, and he said that will make all the difference.”

  “She’s so little,” Sabrina said next, and Rylan heard the thickness of her voice. “I don’t want her to die.”

  “I don’t want that either.”

  A sob broke in Sabrina’s throat-she couldn’t help herself.

  “Come here, Sabrina,” Rylan said gently. “Let me give you a hug.”

  The moment Sabrina felt his arms around her she was lost. She sobbed against the front of Rylan’s shirt, her heart feeling as though it would break. Rylan’s hold was undemanding. He kept control, but he had to resist the urge to press a kiss to the top of her head and cuddle her close.

  “This is when trust and faith are tested,” Rylan said quietly, bending a little toward her ear. “The same God who saved you has a plan for this little family. We can choose to believe that and take comfort in that fact.”

  Rylan felt Sabrina nod against him and put his hands on her shoulders. He couldn’t see her very well but still held her a little apart from him and asked if she was all right.

  146 “I think so. Thank you again for coming.”

  “Try to sleep

  Sabrina did not look her best on Tuesday. Jessie noticed her pale face and puffy eyes right away but didn’t say anything for a while. The girls were at each other off and on, and not until after dinner did Jessie catch Sabrina alone.

  “Are you all right?” the mother of two asked.

  “I didn’t sleep well. My neighbor’s baby is sick, and I kept thinking about her.” In truth, she had prayed most of the night away but didn’t know if Jessie would understand this.

  “Is the baby going to be all right?” Jessie asked.

  “I don’t know. I checked this morning, but they were both asleep.”

  Jessie wasn’t sure what to say. She knew who some of Sabrina’s neighbors were, and it was tempting to ask why she got involved. At the same time, her heart was touched. On days like today when all the girls did was fight, she was ready to sell them to the first available customer, but in truth she knew she would never make it if anything ever happened to one of her daughters.

  “Jessie,” Sabrina had been watching her, and had to ask, “where is the girls’ father?”

  “Gone.”

  “Dead?”

  “No, just gone.”

  “Were you married?”

  “We were, yes.”

  “How long has he been gone?”

  “Since I was expecting Clancy. It was so early I didn’t even realize it.”

  147

  Sabrina didn’t react but she wanted to. This man, whoever he was didn’t know he had a second daughter. At moments like this, she didn’t think men were worth it, but then she remembered Rylan last night and the gentle things he’d said to Eliza. And the new mother seemed to listen. Just having Rylan come in her time of need had seemed to change the way she’d viewed him.

  “I think that’s the mail,” Jessie suddenly said, looking up and seeing Kalib Heydorn from the train station. He never dallied but dropped the mailbag on the counter and went on his way.

  “Do you want me to get Sabrina offered, but Jessie took it.

  Sabrina kept sorting the cooking utensils and tinware that had been pawed through over the weekend until Jessie returned with a letter for her. Not even needing to ask, Sabrina knew it was all right that she read it. Getting comfortable on the rocker out front, she opened Callie’s letter.

  [ We are so excited that Rylan is still there. We had heard that he’d moved on, but that a good man had taken his place. How wonderful to hear he’s still there. Danny loves Ryalan’s father, Donald. They’ve always been very close and admired each other, even when they’ve been out of touch.

  Your apartment location sounds like a challenge. I will admit that I did not picture you living in that part of town, but I think you can do this. Your heart is tender, but you don’t want that life again. You never wanted that life, so I don’t fear your going back to it.]

  148 “Well, now.” Rylan was speaking before Sabrina could finish. “This looks like hard work.”

  Sabrina smiled as he took one of the other rocking chairs. Technically they were for sale, but Sabrina doubted that anyone would ever buy. Indeed they looked as though they’d been there for years.

  “I got a letter from Callie,” Sabrina said. “They had heard you�
��d moved on.”

  “I can see how that might happen. Communication is tough enough face-to-face. I can understand how facts might get crossed over that many miles.”

  Sabrina didn’t think he had any trouble communicating but felt foolish saying so. Rylan watched her for a moment but didn’t want to stare, or rather he didn’t want to be caught staring, so he turned his gaze to the street. The first thing he saw was the sign for the Boar’s Head.

  “Have you seen much of Bret lately?”

  “Not since the day I painted.”

  “What happened then?”

  “I made the mistake of cutting through the alley.”

  “What did he have to say?”

  “The usual, come in and sit down out of the heat or have a drink.”

  “How did you meet him exactly?”

  “I was very new in town and went down the alley. He came out a door, and I made the mistake of asking if there were apartments for rent in the building. He’s been trying to talk to me ever since.”

  “I thought you made your feelings pretty clear that first day. You would think he’d take the hint.”

  Sabrina agreed, not catching on that Rylan had witnessed some of the interaction.

  “I probably should get back to work,” Sabrina said. She’d had plenty of time to read the letter, and Jessie was paying her. “Did you see Eliza this morning?”

  “I stopped in, but they were both asleep. Did you go?”

  149

  “I was just there. Mirabel is pretty warm again.”

  Sabrina’s heart sank, but she was glad she’d been warned. “I’ll see you later,” Rylan said as he stood.

  Sabrina thanked him for coming and slipped back inside. Just as soon as she had an excuse, she hugged Clancy, glad the little girl did not notice the stricken look in her eyes.

  “I brought you some soup,” Sabrina said to Eliza after work that night. The front door to the house was open, but the room was still very warm.

  “I’m not hungry.”

  “I’ll leave it here,” Sabrina said, putting the bowl on the table. “How is she?”

  The baby was back in the basket, looking smaller than ever. Eliza didn’t answer but sat looking down at her daughter, her face drawn with fatigue.