Sabrina (Big Sky Dreams 2)

by Lori Wick

  241 Father, and when we pray to the Father, we ask in His Son’s name. If we can’t ask in His Son’s name, then something is wrong with what we’re praying.”

  Sabrina nodded, thinking about it because Rylan had also said that verse spoke of creation.

  “Did that help?” Jeanette asked.

  “I think so. I just need to figure out how I would describe it to someone who doesn’t believe like we do.”

  “Your friend with whom you had dinner?”

  “Yes. I prayed before we ate and said ‘in the name of Your Son.’ She wanted to know why. I was embarrassed to tell her I couldn’t remember.”

  Jeanette smiled at her. “I think your honesty is refreshing. You just told her the truth.”

  “I also told her I would get back to her on it.”

  “Then the door is still open. That’s wonderful.”

  “I guess it is,” Sabrina said, not having thought of it.

  “Why don’t you ask her here for dinner next time? You can join us or cook something yourself.”

  Sabrina stared at her, seeing no choice but to lay it on the line. “Jeanette, Crystal is a prostitute.”

  “How sad for her,” Jeanette said quietly. “But what’s even sadder is your thinking that I wouldn’t allow such a woman in my house. I’ve been a hypocrite, Bri.”

  Sabrina didn’t know what to say. That wasn’t the way she saw Jeanette at all, and she was completely without words.

  “Do you remember that day in the shop, Bri, when I told you I had more growing to do. I’d wanted to be in charge, and God was showing me otherwise?”

  Sabrina nodded.

  “That was about you. I was so angry with your moving to Willow Street that I refused to visit you. It took me a long time to get over your moving there. Not until you were able to reach out to others did I come out of my selfish little world.”

  242

  Sabrina still could not speak.

  “You reach out to others in the most amazing way I’ve ever seen.”

  “But you reach out, Jeanette, all the time.”

  Jeanette’s smile was sad. “I reach out in my own safe world to the women of the church family. I sew for the community, but I can’t remember the last time I had a chance to share Christ with someone.”

  “Jeanette, I don’t-” Sabrina began, but stopped.

  “Know what to say?” she asked. “It’s all right. I just wanted you to know that I’m sorry for the way I acted about the apartment, even though you weren’t aware of it, and that you may certainly invite your friends here.”

  Sabrina was still nodding when Jeanette went on.

  “And while I’m being honest, I really want you to marry Rylan.”

  Sabrina started to smile.

  “Don’t you laugh, Bri Matthews,” Jeanette said, trying not to smile as well. “I mean it.”

  There were many things Sabrina could have said to this, but she kept them to herself. She did realize one thing, however. If Jeanette could see what was going on, there were probably others in the church family who could too. She couldn’t help but wonder if they would be as enthusiastic as Jeanette.

  “Hey, Nate,” Rylan said when that man came by the livery.

  “I was hoping you’d be working,” the sheriff said. “I keep seeing Miss Matthews, but not to talk to. How is she doing?”

  “She’s fine. Back to normal life.”

  “She’s got guts, Rylan. I still see her on Willow Street and even out with Crystal.”

  243 Rylan had to smile when he agreed, thinking about how plucky she was.

  “Well, I wish I could tell you to pass on to her that we’ve picked up Zeke, but it hasn’t happened. I think he left town. With how many times he hit her, he might have even managed to scare himself.”

  “You think he’s afraid he killed her?”

  “I wouldn’t be surprised,” Nate said, shaking his head a little. “I’m glad she looks like herself again. The first time I saw those bruises, I wasn’t sure.”

  “It was bad,” Rylan agreed, remembering as well.

  Lewis Varner chose that moment to come from the bank. Both

  men watched him head the other direction before Rylan spoke. “Did he remember Sabrina’s and my coming that night?”

  “Yes,” Nate said, his voice growing tight, “but insisted he wrote

  a report that Thorn must have lost.”

  “How did he explain the fact that we didn’t see him write anything?”

  “He said he did it after you left.”

  The men exchanged looks before Nate went on. “I’m keeping my eye on him. And whether he knows it or not, Thorn is too.” “I hope it works out for you, Nate.”

  “Yeah” was all Nate said, the word filled with doubt.

  The sheriff didn’t linger but went on his way. Rylan went back to work, remembering to pray for the sheriff and his deputies as well.

  “I have a little surprise for you,” Jeanette said to Sabrina on Friday before they could even leave for the shop.

  “What’s that?”

  “You’re taking the day off.”

  “Today? I thought there was lots of work to be done.”

  “No, we’re in good shape, and we’ve got half the day tomorrow.” “All right,” Sabrina agreed, thinking about what she might do.

  244 “Now Trace will be here soon,” Jeanette continued. “He’ll want to visit with his mother, but then he’ll take you back to the ranch.”

  “I see,” Sabrina said, a teasing glint entering her eyes. “You not only have given me the day off but planned how I’m to spend it.”

  Jeanette smiled at her own high-handedness but could see that Sabrina was not offended.

  “Doesn’t it sound fun?” Jeanette checked with her.

  “Very. What does Cassidy think?”

  “It was her idea. We’ve been plotting against you since Sunday.”

  Sabrina had to smile. It was such a nice plan, and if the truth be told, she loved surprises. Changing out of her white blouse and navy skirt, Sabrina got ready for a day at the ranch.

  245

  “WELL, RYLAN,” JEANETTE SAID on Friday morning when he came into the shop. “You look like a man looking for something.”

  “I need a dress shirt, Mrs. Fulbright,” Rylan said. “The collar on mine is wearing.”

  “Let’s see,” Jeanette said, taking the shirt he’d brought with him. “I think I might be able to replace this collar and match the fabric, but I’ll also make you another one so you can use your old one as a backup.”

  “Thank you very much. Where is your assistant today?” “I sent her to the ranch.”

  “Well, now,” Rylan said, his smile coming into full bloom. “Does she need a ride home?”

  Jeanette, who had hoped Rylan would ask that very thing, was happy to tell him what Sabrina’s plans had been.

  “Where is Bri?” Trace asked his wife after dinner. He’d slipped upstairs to change the shirt he’d gotten soup on and come back to find her gone.

  246 “At the stream. I told her I was going to take a nap, and off she went.”

  “If I recall she liked it out there last time too.”

  “I don’t know if she’s ever alone,” Cassidy said. “I think she likes how calm and quiet it is.”

  Had Cassidy but known it, she had guessed the very reason Sabrina liked the stream. She was already under the branches of a tree, a quilt beneath her, her stockings off, and her feet in the water. The weather had cooled with August speeding by, but it was still warm enough to soak her feet. Sabrina sighed unconsciously as she wiggled her toes in the water. Looking down at her feet, her mind went immediately to Rylan.

  I didn’t see this coming, Lord. It’s all a little strange. I feel like I’m living someone else’s life, but it’s mine. I never asked You for a husband, Lord. It was not something I thought I would have or even want.

  Sabrina’s head went back as emotions filled her. All I wanted was Your forgiveness
. That was enough-more than enough. I just wanted to know I was saved from my sin. And now You’ve sent this wonderful man, this man I don’t deserve.

  Sabrina worked at not feeling that way, but those thoughts still plagued her. She laid back, the air warm around her, as she studied the sky through the leaves above. In places it looked like lace. Sabrina was picking out her favorite pattern when she heard footsteps. Rylan was headed her way. Taken by surprise, she came awkwardly to her feet and waited for him to approach.

  “Hi,” Rylan said quietly, not sure what her look meant. “Did I disturb you?”

  “No, my mind was just miles away. Did you not have work today?”

  “I got everything on my schedule done, and I must admit that when I heard you were here, I put a few things onto next week.”

  Sabrina smiled, but Rylan didn’t smile in return. She found herself wondering what his look meant.

  “I think you have something on your mind,” she said at last.

  247 “I do, but I don’t want to say anything that will sound like some man from the past.”

  “But you want to say something.”

  “Yes. I want to tell you how beautiful you look, but I don’t want you to hear anyone else’s voice, the voice of someone who’s looking for something.”

  Sabrina nodded with understanding and said, “I don’t think of anyone else when you talk to me, but thank you for being careful.” This said, she turned back toward the pond. “I wish there hadn’t been anyone else. I wish it was only you.”

  “It can be, from this moment forward if that’s what you want.” “I do want that, but there’s still some fear.”

  “Of the physical?”

  Sabrina nodded, realizing it was true.

  Rylan’s arm came out. He turned Sabrina to him and drew her into his embrace. He pulled her close, his mouth so near hers that if either of them moved, they would be kissing. Sabrina looked up at him with huge eyes as he began to talk.

  “I need you to understand,” Rylan began quietly. “I’m not any of those other men. I am not a man controlled by my urges, who sees you as a thing to be used. You say the word, and I’ll stop. Even holding you this close, you shake your head no or say stop and that’s what I’ll do. I’ll never use you and throw you away. I’ll cherish you at all times, especially when we touch, and you can always, always, tell me no.”

  Sabrina looked into his wonderful face and relaxed. She moved her arms enough to hug him back, laying her cheek against his chest. She could hear the thunder of his heart and simply hugged him tighter.

  “I love you,” Rylan whispered, bending close to her ear. “I love you too, but I still want better for you than me.”

  “That’s why we’re going to keep meeting with Chas and Miranda.”

  Rylan spoke practically, knowing that once she was sure, he could

  woo and romance her to his heart’s content.

  248 “Rylan,” Sabrina said, suddenly stepping back. “I have something to show you.”

  Rylan watched as Sabrina turned a little and showed him her bare foot. There, on the outside of her ankle, was a small tattoo, a flower. Rylan looked at it and then into her eyes.

  “Was that normal among women in the night district?” Rylan

  asked, as calm as if they’d been discussing the weather. “Somewhat,” Sabrina answered, not having thought about it. “How did you decide to get one?”

  “A customer wanted me to. He didn’t want anything else, just to pay me to let him put on tattoos.”

  “How many do you have?”

  “Two.”

  Rylan nodded, knowing he had to be careful of his thoughts at this point.

  “Is the other one in a private place?”

  Sabrina nodded, and Rylan did as well, still looking utterly calm. Suddenly Sabrina was back next to him, gripping his arm.

  “Why, Rylan?” Sabrina begged. “Why are you able to overlook this? Why are you not angered and repulsed by it?”

  Rylan put his hands on her shoulders, his touch light and undemanding.

  “Hear me, Sabrina. I’m not dismissing the severity of your sin, but I understand the greatness of the cross. Your sin has been covered. It’s gone. You’re not that person anymore.”

  Sabrina looked up at him, realizing how true it was. She could not have been more different than the woman Danny Barshaw dragged away from that crowd. And it was all about the greatness of the cross.

  “Oh, Rylan,” Sabrina suddenly said. “I think I’m starting to see. The cross is huge. It’s why we’re who we are.”

  “Exactly. It’s why I don’t tell Nate Kaderly no when he wants me to talk to a hurting soul across town. It’s why you head back to Willow Street and talk to Crystal, and why I found you out on that

  249 Saturday night. It’s why I stand in the pulpit each week and call my congregation to greater holiness. The cross is just that big.”

  Sabrina sighed, her heart full, so full she wasn’t able to talk about it. She couldn’t form the words in her head. She just knew that she never wanted to be separated from this man.

  Rylan was in the same place. He had known this woman was out there for him somewhere, a woman who would love people as he did, not afraid of getting her hands dirty and doing the hard work that it took to be a pastor’s wife.

  At the same time they heard someone approaching. It was Cassidy, a smile on her face at the sight of Rylan.

  “I was thinking Bri might be needing company, but I can see you beat me to it, Ry.”

  “Hello, Cass,” he greeted. “I’m inviting myself to supper again.” “You let me join you in the shade, and you can stay all weekend.”

  The couple, newly aware of each other and their love, welcomed Cassidy to the quilt. The three talked for more than an hour before Brad and Trace came by. Before the evening was over, both households joined together for a meal. Six adults and one entertaining toddler spent the evening together, conversation roaming far and wide. And although Rylan and Sabrina said nothing about the change in their relationship, it was obvious to everyone but Savanna that Rylan Jarvik had found someone who fit perfectly into his heart.

  Nate Kaderly watched Lewis come from Crystal’s apartment, asking himself why he kept the man on. He had enough to keep order in Token Creek without having to watch his own men. He followed at a discreet distance, long enough to see that the deputy was headed home.

  Token Creek’s sheriff opted to go back and question Crystal herself

  250 about why Lewis was there, fairly certain his own man would not give him an honest answer. Her place was dark when he got back, however, and he realized that for now he would have to let it drop.

  “I’ve been curious about your parents,” Chas said to Sabrina on Monday night. “How old were you when they died?”

  “My father died when I was 12, almost 13; my mother when I was 15.”

  “How did you live after your father died?”

  “My mother kept selling things, and my sister brought money home and told her it was from her job at the cannery.”

  , “And your mother believed her?”

  “Yes. Sybil never showed Mama how much she had, or Mama might have been suspicious. If she noticed that Sybil had a new dress every week, she never said anything.”

  “That might have led to bad news,” Rylan said, remembering what she’d told him.

  Sabrina agreed, and Rylan explained to the Vicks what Mrs. Matthews had been like. They talked about Sabrina’s life at the Barshaws’ and her work at the laundry. They eventually got to Sabrina coming to Token Creek and what that had been like.

  “I never even considered trying to get hired as a seamstress, but when I saw that sign in Jeanette’s window, I felt I’d been set free.” Sabrina shook her head. “When I think of how much I hated my sewing lessons, I could kick myself. I wouldn’t have made it without Mama’s teaching.

  “And then,” Sabrina went on, warming to her subject, “I was reminded of it all over again when I h
ad dinner with a friend last week. She has no skills to fall back on. Her father taught her to steal, but she didn’t like going to jail, so she turned to prostitution. I thought about teaching her to sew, but unless she’s ready to leave town I don’t think it would help her get out of her present life.”

  251 “Could she leave town like you did? Or maybe head back to where she belongs, like Eliza?” Rylan asked.

  “She’s from Token Creek,” Sabrina said. “But I’m still thinking on it. I still want to help her. I just haven’t found a way yet.” “We’ll think on it too,” Chas said.

  “You seem different this week,” Miranda said when there was a lull. “More at peace, Bri. Did something happen?”

  “I think it did. Rylan and I talked on Friday about the cross, and I realized some things. The cross is huge, and I had completely forgotten about grace. God’s grace toward us, certainly, but also grace in Rylan’s heart that he isn’t offended or angry with me about my past.”

  “Are you offended about your past?” Chas asked. “How are you doing on forgiving yourself?”

  Sabrina had to think about this. After a time she admitted, “I’m still working on that. I have so many regrets. I don’t know if that’s not forgiving myself or not.”

  “We do have to be careful with regrets,” Rylan took this, having continued to think on their conversation from the ranch. “We’re forgiven, for one thing, but beyond that, God is sovereign.”

  “Which means what?”

  “God is absolutely in control of all things at all times,” Rylan said, and then watched Sabrina nod rather slowly.

  “I’m thinking of Paul right now,” Rylan continued. “In Philippians he lists all the things he had, all the position and religious training, but then he says it counts for nothing. He saw it all as worthless after the cross. I don’t sense any regret in him. I don’t think that’s the point. But he knew that his old life, even things that might have been considered fine, were all worthless. So we don’t have to have regrets about sins we have repented of. We can be as logical as Paul was and see them for what they are: worthless outside of Christ. In the same way, we have to see how worthless life was before Christ, but without regrets.”