The Nicci Beauvoir Collection: The Complete Nicci Beauvoir Series

by Alexandrea Weis

  Because tonight I had felt no fleeting moments of sadness as I scrutinized the faces at the party, and had not seen David’s eyes on me. I was not mournful at midnight, longing for his presence among those I loved. I had my memories, but the overwhelming emptiness I had felt in my heart after his death had faded away. I was no longer David’s Nicci; I was just Nicci again. I did not feel quite whole yet, but I no longer felt ripped in two.

  With my glass held high, I silently toasted the coming year. I started thinking of what I wanted to change in my life and I remembered Val’s words at Christmas. I had been holding on to too many things that had reminded me of David, and it was time to let go.

  And Dallas. The thought popped into my head as if sent by a divine herald. His image brought a smile to my lips and a warmth to my, ah, heart. I thought about the way his body felt against mine and how he stirred something inside of me. And those damned eyes of his, haunting my mind day and night.

  “Maybe if Dallas were the last man on earth,” I mumbled to the darkness surrounding me.

  “That can be arranged,” a husky voice said from behind me.

  I spun around on my stool to see Dallas standing in the doorway of the den wearing only his pajama bottoms.

  “What are you doing up?” I asked, pretending I had not heard his comment.

  He came toward me. “Looking for you.” He took the glass from my hand, went around the bar, and dumped the contents into the sink. “The booze won’t help, Nicci,” he added.

  “Help what?”

  “Help you to forget about me. Trust me, it’s not a substitute for what you want.”

  I laughed nervously. “Oh, and you’re an expert on what I want?”

  He came around the bar and positioned himself right in front of my stool. “I know you want me. Just as much as I want you.”

  I folded my arms over my chest. “You want me? You’ve got a strange way of showing it.”

  He grabbed for the belt on my robe. “You know you really got under my skin in New York.” He began to play with the knot in my belt. “I was downing the drinks pretty much like you are now, but I decided then that sooner or later we would become lovers.” He placed his hands on the bar behind me, pinning me between his long arms. His mouth was inches from my ear. “So why don’t we stop playing these games?”

  I struggled to find a way out of his arms. “I’m not playing games, you are. You’re just trying to push my buttons now, aren’t you?”

  He leaned back slightly so his face met mine. “All right, I’ll stop. I’ll become the charming gentleman you want me to be; just tell me what I want to hear.” He let his lips linger over mine. “Tell me you want me, Nicci.”

  Suddenly I was flooded with a memory of David and me sitting at the same bar, feeling the same surge of hormones, wanting each other in the same way.

  I pushed him away. “Stop it, Dallas.”

  “What is it?” he asked angrily, grabbing my chin and making me look into his eyes. “Am I threatening your precious memories?” He moved in closer to me, placing his hands between my legs. “I’m tired of waiting for you. Tired of wanting you. Forget the past for once.”

  “How could you understand—”

  But I never got to finish my words. He pulled me into his arms and kissed me. My lips quivered under his. I willed my body to resist him, but I couldn’t. The surge of guilt inside of me quickly receded, as his lips left mine and traveled down my neck. He drove his teeth into my exposed flesh, and I groaned against his hair.

  “I’m very good at what I do. I can make you tell me what I want to hear,” he murmured against my skin.

  “What are you going to do? Torture me until I give in?”

  He bit down on my earlobe. “I’m a very tenacious man.”

  “So I’ve noticed.”

  He pushed me back against the bar and untied the knot on the belt of my robe. I grabbed his hands to stop him, but his mouth was on mine again, weakening my resolve. The robe fell to the floor and my body shivered reflexively against the chilly air in the room. He pushed my nightshirt up and let his hands travel down my naked body, teasing my flesh with the heat from his fingertips. He wrapped his hands around my lower back and pressed his hips into mine.

  “Ready to give in?” he whispered into my ear.

  “Never,” I avowed as I tucked my head into his neck and let my teeth tease his skin.

  “I have asked you nicely.” He spread my legs wide before him. “And now you will pay, dearly.”

  He forced my body back against the bar as he placed his mouth over my right nipple and bit down hard. Then his hand reached down between my legs and he drove his fingers deep inside me. My body responded with urgency to his touch. I lost myself in the sensations beginning to envelop me. I forgot about everything around me, and I reveled in my oblivion.

  His lips were inches from mine. “I can make this go on all night.”

  I reached up and pulled his mouth to mine. I could feel his lips give way as the tension in my body mounted. I let go and gave myself over to the climax rising up from the deepest recesses in my body.

  Suddenly he stopped. He pushed me away and took a step back.

  “What?” I asked breathlessly, looking up into his face.

  The coldness of winter had returned to his eyes. He observed me for several seconds and then he grinned.

  “Tell me what I want to hear and I will continue.”

  “Why, you son of a bitch,” I cursed then reached down to grab my robe from the floor, and quickly covered myself.

  “Very well, Nicci. If that’s how you want it.” He turned away from me and walked directly out of the den.

  I was standing at the bar still struggling to tie the belt on my robe as I heard his footsteps travel up the stairs and down the second-floor hallway to my room. I shook my head, silently chastising myself. He had gotten to me and he knew it. I wanted him and he knew it.

  “Bastard!” I cursed loudly into the empty room. “If you think…”

  I let the words melt away as I marched out of the den and up the stairs. When I reached my bedroom, I pushed hard against the door, letting it swing open with a thud.

  “If you think,” I said as I made my way into my room, “that I am going to let you use me as some kind of diversion then—”

  “A very intriguing diversion,” he interrupted, lying naked from the waist up beneath the sheets in the bed before me.

  Then I noticed his pajama bottoms had been unceremoniously discarded on the floor next to the bed.

  “Tell me you want me, Nicci.”

  I could feel the anger surging inside of me. Anger mixed with a tantalizing stab of excitement.

  I shook my head. “Do the words matter?”

  He sat up in the bed, never taking his eyes off mine. “They matter to me,” he said softly.

  The muscles in his chest flexed as he stretched his long arm out on the sheet beside him, inviting me to join him. His body was lean and firm and I felt myself slowly giving in to that overpowering ache inside of me.

  I walked over to the bed and sat down next to him. I studied his face for a moment, eager to see some hint of emotion fan up in those guarded eyes.

  “Why do you need to hear those words?” I asked.

  “Because when you say them, you’ll be mine. So repeat after me, I—”

  “I,” I repeated, rolling my eyes.

  “Want—” He shimmied his body up against mine.

  “Want.” I moved my mouth closer to his. “You.”

  “It’s about damn time,” he whispered.

  He smiled a warm, devious smile that made my stomach leap. He pulled my face to his and closed his mouth over mine.

  Then the funniest thing happened. Here I was in the arms of an attractive man, about to do something I desperately desired, but all I could think about was David. Guilt like an out-of-control semi on an icy freeway slammed into my chest and suddenly the room began to spin.

  I shoved Dallas away
with both hands and sat up in the bed. I grabbed the robe that had fallen from my shoulder and quickly wrapped myself up like a mummy. I took a few deep breaths and then turned to Dallas.

  He lay there staring at me. There was no expression of surprise on his face, no angry scowl, nothing.

  I rubbed my face in my hands. “I don’t think I can do this, Dallas. Don’t get me wrong, I want to…” I left the sentence unfinished.

  “Want to, but you can’t. Is that it?”

  I nodded and stood from the bed suddenly feeling very cheap and dirty. “I know that sounds stupid…”

  He sat up. “I understand, Nicci. You’re not ready.”

  “Was it like this for you after Carol?”

  A glint of anger passed over his face, and then as quickly as it had appeared it was gone. “It’s different for men, Nicci. For me it’s just sex, for you…perhaps it’s better we don’t get too involved. It will just make things harder for you when the job is over and we go back to our separate lives.” He threw the covers off, revealing his naked body to me. He then grabbed for his pajamas on the floor.

  I turned my back to him as he dressed. I hugged myself against the cold starting to fill the room around me. “You don’t get emotionally involved with anyone, do you, Dallas?” I asked over my shoulder.

  “Emotions are a liability in my line of work,” he muttered behind me.

  “Necessary, I would have thought,” I said, turning to face him. I sighed, feeling the tension between us rise like floodwater from a storm. “So what happens now?”

  He rubbed the back of his neck. “You and I go on. Business as usual.”

  I nervously rubbed my hands together. “No. What will they do? Your suspects?”

  He sat down on the bed. “That I’m not sure of.” He hesitated for a moment. “Sammy will want to see me again. She all but said so at the party.”

  “Are you going to sleep with her?” I added, unable to help myself.

  “I don’t have to sleep with women to get what I need from them.”

  I raised my eyebrows and stared at him. “I don’t know if I should be relieved by that comment or concerned.”

  He lowered his eyes to the floor. “David was the expert with women, not me.”

  I sat down on the bed next to him. “And what will you do to Sammy, Eddie, and Michael?”

  He shrugged. “Michael will require more prodding by you to discover his true intentions. Eddie won’t need much to be pushed to the edge, and Sammy…” He smiled playfully. “Well, women like Sammy only become violent when they know they have been either conned or betrayed.”

  “And will you betray her or con her?”

  “A little of both should do it. I’ll make her believe I care then hightail it back to you. Like David did. Adding insult to injury should provoke the needed response.”

  I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “All these games, all this manipulation. How do you bear it, day in and day out?”

  He turned to face me. “You studied to be a nurse. How do you think people in the medical profession deal with death all the time? They tune it out. When they leave the hospital, they don’t take it home with them. And neither do I.”

  “But there is a breaking point for everyone,” I asserted. “I’ve seen nurses and doctors burn out. The same has to be true in your profession.”

  He stood up next to me. “I’ll leave before the job takes too much of my soul.”

  I looked up into his eyes. “And how much is too much?”

  Dallas ignored my question. He reached over, picked up a pillow, and then grabbed a blanket from the foot of the bed. “I will sleep downstairs tonight on the couch,” he said and then he turned to walk away.

  I leaned over and rearranged the pillows on my bed.

  “And Nicci,” Dallas called out from the bedroom door behind me. “Happy New Year.”

  As far as I was concerned, the new year was already off to a lousy start, but I reckoned there was no point in telling him that. He already knew.

  He quietly closed the door behind him, leaving me to sleep alone in my room for the first time since I had returned from New York.

  I turned out the light and slipped under the covers. As I listened to the silence around me, I began pondering what had almost happened between us. Would I ever be able to want anyone again without thinking of David? I thought of Dallas and the way his kisses had made me feel. But there was no future with a man like Dallas. I should have been happy to take what I could from him and not worry about tomorrow. As Val had said, at least I could look back and say that whatever time we were given, it had been grand.

  Chapter 18

  The following morning, when I finally made it downstairs for breakfast, I found the three men sitting around the kitchen table, coffee mugs in hand and heads together.

  I sauntered by them and went to the coffee pot. “So now what are the three of you planning?” I called over my shoulder as I poured myself a mug of coffee.

  My father was the first to stand up. “I have to go to the office. Lots of work to do.” He winked at Uncle Lance.

  Uncle Lance quickly stood. “Yeah, ah, right. Busy, busy.”

  I eyed my father and uncle suspiciously. “But it’s New Year’s Day.”

  “Better to get a jump on things,” my father said. He turned to Uncle Lance and nodded to the kitchen entrance.

  “Yes, absolutely,” Uncle Lance agreed as the two men started for the door. “Let’s go do something businesslike, Billy.”

  My father shook his head. “Like you would know what that means.”

  “I know how to be businesslike,” Uncle Lance insisted just before the kitchen door swung closed behind him.

  A heavy atmosphere quickly filled the kitchen. I kept my eyes focused on the coffee swirling around in my mug. I didn’t want to look up and see Dallas staring at me.

  Dallas cleared his throat. “Your father asked me what my intentions were with you. It seems Lance saw us last night in the den.”

  “Oh, God,” I groaned. “I’ll never be able to face my uncle again.”

  He laughed, his real laugh, the kind that sounded as if it came from his heart. I felt the uncomfortable air between us lift.

  Dallas sat back in his chair. “If they think we’re lovers that could work out to our benefit.”

  “How?” I took a sip from my coffee.

  He got up from his chair, walked over to the coffee machine, and poured himself another cup.

  “If they believe it, then they’ll act like they believe it. It will help to convince our suspects that we are indeed lovers.” He leaned his hip against the kitchen counter. “I want you to call Michael this morning and invite him to Val’s party this weekend. Then I want you to insist on meeting him, today, if possible. Let him think you’re interested in getting back together. We need to find out what he really thinks about us.”

  “Us?”

  “Us.” He nodded. “When you meet with him, I’ll be there. And then we’ll see how he reacts.” He walked over to the phone and picked up the receiver. “It’s time to go to work on the good doctor.”

  * * *

  Two hours later I was sitting wrapped in my warmest coat at an outdoor table in front of the coffeehouse just around the corner from Michael’s. Michael was more than a little enthusiastic about our midmorning rendezvous, wanting to meet as soon as I had showered and dressed.

  Michael came up to my table and kissed me quite unexpectedly on the lips. “So glad you called, and thank you for inviting me to Val’s party. Promise to save me a dance?” He gave me a warm smile as he removed his gloves.

  I leaned back from Michael, trying to appear unflustered. “Of course. I’ve been thinking about what you said last night and I figured we should be friends, and I wanted to get—”

  “Damned hard to find a place to park around here,” Dallas called out as he made his way up to our table and kissed my cheek. “Should have warned me, sweet cheeks. Had to leave the car al
most a block away.” He held out his hand to Michael. “Good to see you again, Dr. Fagles.”

  Michael’s smile instantly disappeared.

  Michael shook Dallas’s hand. “I didn’t realize that you would be joining us.”

  “Of course.” Dallas took the chair next to me as he waved Michael to the chair across from me. “After the party, I told Nicci we should all get together.” His piercing eyes closed in on Michael’s face. “We should get to know each other.”

  Michael bristled. “Yes, well…” He cleared his throat nervously. “When Nicci called, she gave me the impression it was going to be the two of us.”

  “I’m sorry, Michael. I thought I told you Dallas would be joining us,” I declared, knowing I had never said anything of the kind.

  Dallas laughed and then put a possessive arm around my shoulder. “No harm done. Besides, I wanted to talk more last night, but I’m afraid the alluring Sammy Fallon just distracted me.”

  “Alluring?” Michael snickered. “I have to admit that is not a word that comes to mind at the mention of Sammy’s name.”

  Dallas removed his arm from my shoulder and leaned toward Michael. “You don’t care for Sammy?”

  Michael shook his head. “Not that I don’t care for her. It’s just that I find her a difficult pill to swallow at times. I prefer honest people who don’t live their lives playing games.”

  Dallas nodded approvingly. “She is a bit fake,” he agreed, and then he turned and caressed my shoulder with his hand. “I can see why you fell for Nicci. She is the most honest and genuine woman I have ever known. I couldn’t help but fall in love with her.”

  Michael’s dull blue eyes flashed with concern. “I didn’t realize you were that serious about each other.”

  “Oh, I am very serious.” Dallas gazed momentarily into my eyes as if he were sending me a message. “Nicci, on the other hand, has been very apprehensive about getting too serious.”