I Breathe You

by Lori L. Clark

  “Hey Sam I am,” I whisper with a grin. Ignoring his outstretched hand, I search for a pool cue that’s semi-straight. The smile on my face helps soften the blow to his ego when I opt not to shake hands with him. I don’t know where that hand’s been. Sam has dark hair, blue eyes, and the whitest, straightest teeth I remember ever seeing.

  A few minutes into the game I begin to notice we’ve got a small audience standing around tipping back beers while T and I play our game. I also realize how long it’s been since I’ve played, judging by the number of easy shots I miss. Once he’s won the game, I move to replace the cue in the rack on the wall.

  “Let’s play partners,” Sam suggests. He smiles in my direction, and I tilt my head to the side, wondering what this hot guy is all about. He gazes at me with an unspoken intent. “What do you say, play with me?” My breath hitches at his implied innuendo.

  T frowns at me. “How much money you got Sam?” he asks, eyes sparkling.

  I walk over to stand beside T and playfully bump my shoulder against him. I lean close, so he can hear me over the noise in the crowded bar. “Hope you have a good partner, T. Put-up or shut up.” I skirt the edge of the table and whisper to Sam, “I’d love to be your partner if it means taking money from my Uncle.”

  “No shit? Bones is your Uncle?” Sam grins, shaking his head.

  T winds up partnering with a friend of Sam’s, and we spend the next hour or so monopolizing the only pool table in the small bar. I down a couple of beers and am starting to feel a nice, warm buzz. Sam and I win two and lose two. We’re down to the fifth game and decide this is it, the final game. “Double or nothing,” T says cockily.

  The game is close, and when I make the winning shot I feel pretty damn proud of myself. Sam is unable to contain himself, and picks me up off the floor, swinging me around with a hearty “Hell yeah!”

  I grin and wink across the table at T, who is rifling through his wallet to pay up on the bet. I realize that Sam still has his arms locked around me. I whisper in his ear, “You can put me down now.”

  “Oh yeah, sorry,” he says as his cheeks redden. “You lose your voice or something?”

  I wrinkle my nose, “Or something.”

  His forehead wrinkles but he doesn’t ask and I don’t elaborate. “I’m going to get a beer. You need anything?”

  I shake my head. He’s sexy as hell, but there’s just something off about his demeanor. A wolf in sheep’s clothing springs to mind. Goosebumps prickle my arms and I rub them away, deciding it’s time for me to sit for a while.

  I rejoin T at the bar and his attitude is gruff. I think he’s actually pouting about losing the game. I pat him on the back and lean close. “Good thing you taught me everything I know.”

  He rolls his eyes at me. “Good thing, my ass.”

  I smirk at him and take a swig of my beer. He turns toward me, but his eyes shift over my shoulder. He nods, and I know without looking who’s behind me. I tense when I feel the weight of his hand, possessively on my shoulder.

  “Come here often?” he asks, so close I feel his breath on my cheek. Our hearts are beating in sync, I’m sure of it.

  I smile up at him. “Still using the same old worn-out lines, I see.”

  “Not old, Sunshine. Classic,” he breathes against my ear. That left cheek dimple turns my insides soft and fuzzy. Coupled with the beers I’ve consumed, any Ian resistance I might have had slides right out the front door.

  Chapter 44

  Feeling the need to redeem himself at the pool table, T offers his seat to Ian and glares pointedly at me before shifting his attention back to Ian. “I’m going to try and win back some of the money I lost. Do me a favor, Callahan? Make sure she doesn’t put her money up.”

  Ian’s mouth twists up at one corner and he nods his response to T before sliding onto the barstool beside me. He orders a bottle of beer and takes a big swallow, sighing in satisfaction. Grinning sideways at me he asks, “So, what’s a girl like you doing in a dive like this?”

  I roll my eyes. “Are you trying to pick me up?”

  He tips his head to the side, appraising me. My cheeks warm as he makes no attempt to hide the way his eyes darken with desire. It causes me to squirm a little in my seat. “That depends,” he says.

  “Pray tell, what does it depend on?” I ask playfully. The invisible lure of his unintentional, easy charm draws me to him.

  “On whether or not I think it’s a win-win situation.” He takes an agonizingly slow pull off his beer. I’m certain those gray-green eyes of his see all the way down to my soul. “I don’t do anything half-assed, Sunshine. It has to be all or nothing with me.”

  My cheeks flush and I feel the heat spread down my neck and over my chest before pooling in that long-neglected region below. I lick my lower lip absentmindedly. “Good to know,” I manage.

  Ian leans into me, so close I’m convinced he’s about to kiss me. Suddenly his eyes shift to over my shoulder. He pulls back, and his eyes narrow. I feel a hand on my back, making me flinch. Ian’s jaw muscles flex.

  “Is Callahan bothering you?” Sam whispers in my ear. His sour breath makes my stomach churn. “Because if he is, I’ll get rid of him for you, sweetheart.”

  I lean as far away from Sam as I’m able and shake my head. “It’s fine. Ian’s not bothering me. We’re friends.”

  Sam snorts, “Darlin’, I thought you had better taste in who you associate with.”

  Ian’s hand darts out, fisting in the front of Sam’s shirt. “Back off, Sam,” Ian warns through clenched teeth.

  Sam holds his hands in surrender and chuckles, “Easy there. Don’t get your shorts in a wad, man.”

  Ian lets go of Sam’s shirt with a hearty shove. “Rhane’s with me,” he says.

  My eyebrows shoot up. “I’m not with anyone, Ian.” I’m not interested in Sam, but I resent Ian implying we’re together, because we’re so not. Something I don’t need to be reminded of.

  Sam chuckles. “See there, she’s not interested in slumming tonight, Callahan. Why don’t you run along home to your wife?”

  Ian’s fist shoots out, punching Sam so fast and hard, neither of us saw it coming. Sam crashes into a table full of people. Blood streams from his nose, which, from the way it’s all twisted, I’m sure is broken. “Ian, what the hell?” I hiss, sliding from the barstool and shove away from him. I have to get out of this smoke-filled bar. I need to get some clean air or I’m going to choke on my own tongue. I yank my coat off the stool and push my way through the crowd.

  “Rhane!” Ian calls after me. I don’t stop to look, but I sense him close behind. “Wait.”

  Outside, the icy air stabs my lungs. I cross my arms in front of my chest, giving Ian the stink eye. He stuffs his hands in his jeans pockets. “Look, I’m sorry,” he cajoles.

  My heart thumps a staccato beat inside my chest. “Sorry for saying we’re together or sorry for punching Sam?”

  “Neither? Both?” he heaves a heavy sigh and steps toward me.

  I press my palm against his chest to keep him at arm’s length while I try to rein in my runaway emotions. “Don’t.”

  He shakes his head and stares up at the sky. “Okay. I’m not sorry I punched that fucker. Honestly? I’m not even sorry I said we were together.”

  “Well, we’re not.” I clench my hands so tightly my turn white. “He brought up a good point, though.”

  Ian’s eyebrows draw together. “What point is that?”

  “The one about going home to your wife.” I throw my hands up in the air, exasperated by his inability to get it. “You know what? Never mind. I don’t care.” I turn to leave, hoping I’m headed in the right direction to get back to T’s house.

  “Sunshine? It’s freezing out here,” he says.

  I shoot him a withering glare. “Thank you so much for the telling me something I already know.”

  “At least let me give you a ride,” he offers.

  “It’s like two blocks, Ian. Seriously, I
can walk.”

  “Rhane?”

  I sigh and narrow my eyes at him. “Now what?”

  “You’re going the wrong way.”

  I stop walking and spin slowly in a circle, trying to get my bearings. He’s right, dammit. “I knew that.”

  “Yeah you didn’t,” as he holds his hand out to me. “Come on. Just let me give you a ride.”

  “Fine!” I huff. My disorientation and soon-to-be frostbitten fingers overrule my stubborn need to stay mad at him. I dig in my pockets, fishing out my gloves.

  “Still no real gloves, I see,” he mutters.

  “Maybe Santa will bring me a pair,” I quip while he opens the truck door for me to climb inside.

  The two block ride is silent and the pickup cab is filled with enough tension to be more than a little uncomfortable. He pulls to a stop in T’s drive and I reach for the door handle to let myself out before he puts it in park. Ian touches my arm, “Can I come in for a minute?”

  I inhale slowly, trying to recount all of the reasons why that would not be a good idea. I exhale slowly, deciding I don’t care if it’s a bad idea. “Okay.” I push open the door and hop out. The house is dark and I realize I should have told T I was leaving.

  Ian reaches for my hand. I arch an eyebrow at him. “I’m still mad at you. Don’t think just because I’m letting you come inside means that I’m done being mad.” He grins and that damn dimple shows up, making my stomach flop around like a fish out of water.

  “You’re beautiful when you’re mad,” he laughs.

  “Don’t try and flatter me, Ian Callahan.” I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from giggling.

  As soon as we’re through the door, he drags me into his arms. “You know what the best thing about fighting is?”

  My eyebrows disappear under my bangs and I shake my head. I know the only good thing about fighting with Dalton was the primal makeup sex we had afterwards.

  Ian backs me against the door and brushes his lips across my cheek. He kisses lightly along my jaw. “I’m pretty sure you do,” he whispers into my ear. His warm breath against my skin makes my knees feel like rubber.

  Before I forget that I’m in T’s house and he could pop through the door at any moment, I duck under Ian’s arms and pull off my coat and boots. “You want a beer or something?” I ask.

  He shakes his head. He watches me with such intensity, I feel like I should be covering myself, even though I’m fully clothed. He plops down on the couch and pats the cushion beside him. “C’mere. Let’s talk.”

  “Okay.” My breath hitches and I rub the back of my neck.

  “Aubrey is home,” he starts. I cross my arms in front of my chest. He holds up his hand, indicating I should hear him out. “Let me rephrase that. She’s out of the hospital. She’s staying with her parents.”

  “Oh,” I manage. I’m not sure how else to respond.

  “We’ve talked. She’s ready to proceed with the divorce.” He reaches out and tucks an errant strand of hair behind my ear. I grasp his hand against my cheek and close my eyes.

  “Sunshine?” he whispers. “Look at me.”

  I open my eyes, my lips slightly parted. I ache for him. “What happens now?”

  “I make you mine,” he says. A seductive smile spreads across his face. He tips up my chin with his finger and kisses me like he means it. It starts out slow, tentative at first.

  When he eases his tongue between my lips, my hands clasp behind his neck, drawing him into me. He slides his hands under my shirt, and lightly trails his fingers up the bare skin along my side. I gasp at his touch. Somehow I wind up on my back and he presses the length of his body against mine. I feel him hard against me and my hips rise to meet him, urgent with desire. He tears his mouth from mine, groaning, “Fuck, Sunshine.”

  T throws open the front door. Ian in his haste to get off of me tumbles to the floor in front of the couch and I chew the inside of my cheek to keep from cracking up. T narrows his eyes at me and kicks off his shoes. I squirm under his scrutiny and move my shirt back down over my stomach. “Thanks for telling me you were leaving.”

  “Sorry,” I stare down at my hands. “It was kind of sudden.”

  “Whatever,” he says. He heads toward the kitchen and I shrug helplessly at Ian.

  “I guess I better go,” Ian tells me.

  “I’ll walk you out.” I leap off the sofa and race out the door, bare feet and all. As soon as we’re outside I start giggling uncontrollably. Suddenly I feel like a teenager who has just been caught naked on the couch with her boyfriend. “In another half hour, that might’ve been awkward.”

  Ian snorts. “A little bit.”

  I hop from one foot to the other and push my hair behind my ears. “I better get back inside.” I reach up and plant a quick kiss on his cheek. “Merry Christmas.”

  “Merry Christmas, Sunshine.” He waits until I’m almost to the front door before adding, “The next time I see you, you better be wearing a big, red bow. And only a big, red bow.”

  Chapter 45

  T gives me a strange look when I join him in the kitchen after Ian leaves. “What?” I ask with a frown.

  He fills a tall glass with ice cubes and Crown Royal. “Good thing I got home when I did. Otherwise, I’d never be able to sit on that couch again.”

  My cheeks flush, and I turn away from him to hide my smile. “Did you win back your money?” I ask, skirting around the subject of Ian.

  He takes a slow sip from his drink. “Not all of it.”

  I shift uncomfortably under his scrutiny. “Good thing you can afford it,” I offer.

  “Hmph,” he grunts. “What the hell happened with Callahan anyway?”

  “What do you mean?” I frown.

  “What caused him to break Decker’s nose like that?” T reaches into his pocket and pulls out a cigarette. “I’ve never seen him even raise his voice, let alone get pissed off enough to punch somebody.”

  I shrug. “Guess he was defending my honor or something.”

  “Pfft. Last I checked, you were pretty good at defending your own honor, baby girl.”

  A knowing grin lights my face. “Yeah.”

  “Why in the hell aren’t you with him right now?” T asks, blowing out a cloud of smoke.

  I tip my head, contemplating the question. It’s early yet. Why the hell aren’t I with him? Standing in the fog of his cigarette smoke and whiskey breath, I have an epiphany. “Give me the keys to the Lexus.”

  T’s mouth pops open and he stares at me for a moment. Finally, he shakes his head and reaches into his jeans pocket. He tosses me the keys to his car and asks, “Do you even know where he lives?”

  “I’ve been there, remember?” I snag the keys out of midair and grin. “Of course I don’t have a clue on how to get there from here. But I bet you’ll tell me.”

  “This is against my better judgment, you know that, right?” he says.

  “You can’t do that.” I cross my arms in front of me. “Plant an idea in my head, give me the keys to your car, and then not tell me where he lives. That’s just wrong.”

  T takes a deep breath and shakes his head. I know I’ve won by the smirk starting to tilt up the corner of his mouth. “Fourteen Disney Court.”

  He might as well have said Jupiter. “Um, okay? Not helpful.”

  “Use the nav system. You’ll find it,” he says. He pushes away from the counter to refill his glass.

  My forehead wrinkles in frustration. “Can’t you just tell me?”

  He finally relents and gives me turn-by-turn directions. I hope the hell I can remember all the rights and lefts and don’t wind up in Arkansas somewhere. I hug his neck and kiss him on the cheek. “Try not to wreck my car, okay?” he mutters. I frown and wipe my hands on my jeans, and almost change my mind. “Oh, shit. Sorry. You’ll do fine. Just take it slow.” He squeezes me and pats me on the back.

  I pull on my boots and coat and head out to the garage, pushing the button to lift the garage door
. Inhale, one, two, three. Hold, one, two, three. Exhale, one, two, three. Repeat. I got this. I so got this. As long as I can back out of the garage without taking off a mirror or something. As if reading my mind, T stands in the doorway to the kitchen watching me.

  “You want me to back it out for you?” he offers.

  I crinkle my nose. I’m about to wet my pants, but if I don’t have guts enough to get the car out of the garage, I’ll never get anywhere. Coupled with my racing heart is the uncertainty about whether or not I’m doing the right thing. I don’t want to concede failure before I begin and talk myself right out of going.

  I wave him off. “Nah, I’m good.” I’m pretty sure he has his doubts and that makes two of us.

  Somehow, I not only make it unscathed out of the garage, but I also manage to find Ian’s house. There’s a light on in the front room. I coast to a stop and shut off the ignition. Staring out the car window, my eyes dart up and down the street as though I’m about to commit a crime. I open the car door and step out, easing it closed behind me. All sorts of what-ifs flash through my brain. What if he doesn’t want me here? What if he’s not alone? What if he’s in bed? What if he’s not alone and in bed? God, Rhane. It’s only nine-thirty. Get a grip.

  Before I have a full-blown panic attack, I shuffle through the snow-covered grassy area separating the street from the sidewalk and make my way to the front door. My stomach feels like cement has settled at the bottom as I reach for the doorbell. It’s an eternity before he finally opens the door.

  Holy bare chest. He’s naked from the hips up, wearing only a pair of dark blue sweatpants and a face-splitting grin. I lower my eyes and bite my lip. “Can I come in? I mean, if you’re not busy…”

  Before I’m able to finish my sentence his hand wraps around my wrist and he yanks me inside. He kicks the door shut behind me with his bare foot and stares at me through twinkling eyes. “I take back every bad thing I ever said about Santa Claus and the whole naughty-nice theory.”

  I give him a blank look. “What?”