Alliance: an Alpha Shifter Romance (Mated in Hell Trilogy Book 1)

by K. de Long

  Chapter 18

  Liam hated the look in Tessa’s eyes. He didn’t want the fight in the first place, but especially not with Ryker waiting to meet him to go over the week’s numbers. Tessa had picked a hell of a time to have a meltdown.

  He didn’t understand what had happened. He liked her kisses. His heart sped up when he kissed her, and the fragrance of her mounting need hung thick in the air between them, tantalizing him with the idea of tasting it. Tasting her. Making love to her. Giving himself to her in a way that hadn’t come with the vows.

  He’d thought she wanted it, too. But his cheek stung with evidence to the contrary.

  “Fucking whatever,” he said. She jumped. His voice had come out much more aggressive than he’d meant. “You raise a fucking finger to me again, pet—” He spat the word, just to annoy her. “—and you’ll quickly learn exactly how lenient I’ve been with you.”

  He’d hoped they could work something out, but the longer this went on, the more he realized how impossible that was.

  Her brows creased with a stricken look, and her face hardened. “Like hell—”

  His wolf had all but taken over his body, swamping him with a flood of demands: violence, lust, hurt, the need to punish.

  He had to get away, before he hurt her.

  She might see it as a victory, but it didn’t change that he was leaving to protect her from him. Since apparently he was someone to be feared.

  Liam stalked out.

  The ground crunched under his heel, and the artificial sound of the gravel made him wish he was in the woods, listening to the crinkle of leaves. Hunting something and eating it, its blood dripping down his chin. This was gonna be a very long and lonely path for the both of them.

  And then it hit him. Why was he running? He hated the way she looked at him sometimes, when it sank in that she was living with a man who had total authority over her, and she had no clue whether he was the type of man to misuse it.

  He’d tried coping with that by holding his distance. By taking cold showers and refusing to take advantage of her. Maybe that was complicating the problem.

  Ryker would understand his absence. After the other day, rumors had been flying anyways. Missing one meeting wouldn’t kill his authority—however another outburst like her earlier one might.

  As he opened the door, she looked up, and the flash of fear in her eyes didn’t escape him. “I said—”

  “You’re not in charge here, and you’re going to have to learn to trust me at some point. That point is now.”

  She crossed her arms, looking more like a scared girl than the ferocious woman who’d fought him tooth and nail on the field.

  “Part of being an alpha, having strength, is knowing when and how to use it. You know part of that lesson—it’s why you took your vows to me. But you need to learn the rest.”

  She shivered and pressed her lips together. But beneath her wariness, something else was emerging—heat…and approval.

  “Answer me this, pet. Do you like defying your alpha?”

  She hesitated. He sat down on the couch and waited for her answer. Still, none came.

  “Do you deny that I’m your alpha?”

  That got a response. “No, but my alpha also has never shared a home with me before.”

  “Bullshit. You lived in the same building as Alder before you came here. Come here, pet.”

  He had no doubt that ordinarily, she’d tell him to fuck off. But so soon after he’d reminded her of his dominance, there was no way she could chance it without answering his first question for him. She stepped forward. It didn’t escape him that her hands were trembling. She approached him, every inch of her alert and at the ready.

  “Sit.”

  She obeyed, sitting on the sofa next to him. But if he was going to teach her a lesson his way, he’d have to start somewhere. “No.” He reached for her hair and held it just tight enough to guide her off the couch, onto the floor. She bit her lip and settled where he’d placed her. Kneeling at his feet, she brought a million other thoughts to his mind. He shook his head to clear it; he’d put off on having this discussion with her for far too long.

  “Answer me, pet. Do you like defying your alpha?”

  “No,” she whispered, but he heard the unspoken but that followed.

  “Are you afraid of me, pet?”

  Her eyes narrowed; it went against everything he’d seen of her for her to answer that. She tipped her chin up defiantly. “No.”

  “Liar,” he said, more than a little amused at her dilemma. “Why are you afraid of me?”

  She was almost glaring at him, but she was trapped. “How can I not be? I took vows to you, and every night I sleep in the spare bedroom, I wonder if this will be the night that you come to look for your due.”

  The thought hurt; he wouldn’t deny it. He’d known it for a long time, but having it spoken, having it out in the open, coming from her own lips, somehow made it more real. His fingers curled tighter in her hair. Its softness between his fingers kept him calm, kept him from being more outraged.

  “Is that what you think of me?” he said finally.

  “I—I don’t know what to think.” There was a hint of a sob in her voice.

  “Trust me, pet. I only touch a woman that way when she’s begging me to.”

  Her breath caught. She was probably deciding whether she liked that idea, or whether she wanted to fight more. But even that much would be a start.

  “With that in mind, I hope you’ll hear me when I say I’ve lost my fucking patience. I’ve been understanding—more than. But you are not the alpha here. And you will trust me, without violence. And not because I’m forcing you to.”

  She bit her lip. “Then why?”

  He tightened his grip in her hair, tilting her chin up toward his by tugging it. “Because you’re gonna learn, right now, tonight, that there’s safety in submission as much as there is in dominance. You’re gonna learn to let go. And trust me, pet, you will beg.”

  Her eyes widened. He liked seeing her off-guard. He released her hair. “So tell me, pet. What were you thinking, the first time you kissed me?”

  Her breath caught, and her eyes half-shut as she dug for the recollection. “I tasted the wine on your lips and thought that you have better wine, down here. Maybe something to do with the soil.”

  “I said the first time you kissed me.”

  “That was. Our mating hunt.”

  “It was duty. It wasn’t you kissing me. It’s not what I asked.”

  Her eyes drifted completely shut, and her voice left her in a hypnotic purr. If he pointed it out to her, she’d probably curse him out, but she was relaxing, slowly but surely. “You were leaving for the day, a belly full of food I’d cooked for you, and a grin like it was a solstice feast. You kissed my forehead. And you hesitated, and kissed my cheek. And I knew what you wanted—and that you could take it easily—but that you were giving me a chance to run away. But I don’t run.”

  “Why not? If living with me is so unbearable—if simply being around me is a threat you can’t stomach—why are you still here?”

  “I’m a woman of my word.” She took a deep breath. “I serve my alpha.” The soft words sent the blood roaring to his cock. He’d have given anything to hear them not sound quite so…bitter. But tender, too. Just one or the other, and he’d know what to do with it.

  Unless…what if Alder had agreed to the mating so she could spy? She seemed pissed at the man, but what if it was all an act? What if her conflict was because she was only here to keep tabs on the Nefari, and she knew that any attraction to him was a danger to her mission? What if their mutual rapport was a problem not because it endangered her relationship with him, but her relationship with Alder?

  He’d have to think on it. Sometime when he wasn’t riveted by the movement of her rosy lips, her quiet breathing. And the submissive peace that was sinking into her as they just talked. She kept talking, seeming not to realize that her answer had been su
fficient.

  “You gave me the chance to back away, and I realized I didn’t want to. You’d kissed my forehead platonically, and it wasn’t enough. You kissed my cheek familiarly, and it wasn’t enough. I wanted you. I wanted you to appreciate me. I wanted you to want me, to think I was worth having. I wanted your lips on mine, and I never wanted it to stop. Because when we touch—when we kiss—it makes sense. It’s everything else that hurts.”

  Her eyes widened, bright with moisture. She swallowed back the tears he knew were there.

  Liam knew the feeling. He hadn’t expected her to be so open…so honest. But the answer made his breath come fast and his inner wolf soar. Her voice as she said it, halfway to a sensual moan, was enough to make his cock press against the seam of his pants hard enough to hurt.

  “What about you?” she asked. A flush stained her cheeks. Of course such a headstrong woman wouldn’t like this honesty.

  He didn’t want to say—not until he knew whether she would learn the lesson, or whether she would remain a liability to be managed. “You don’t get to ask the questions. But if you play nice, I might give you your answer later, as a reward.”

  Her lips parted as she gasped. He wanted to kiss them, especially after listening to her recount that first frenetic kiss. But there’d be time enough for that later, if all went well, and if she proved herself worthy.

  Her chin came up. The dilemma should sting a little: either she could play along, rise to the occasion, or she could be contrary and risk being the only one forced to expose her true self to him.

  “What’s anchoring your fear of me?” he asked. “You’ve been in my home for long enough now, I’d think you’d trust your own perceptions of the man that I am more than whatever rumors the Kumori might have about me.”

  She narrowed her eyes. He hadn’t meant to insult her decision-making skills, but she seemed to think he had. “What is this, truth or dare?”

  Of course. It wasn’t that she took it as an insult, as that her nature bound her to push back against him. Well, it was time she started learning his nature, too.

  “So you choose dare, then? Safe word’s magic.”

  He stood, her hair still in his hand, and tugged gently until she rose. Holding the glossy lengths like a leash, he led her back into his bedroom. She accepted his direction without pulling away or bringing a hand to her hair to limit how much he could use it to control her. She seemed more curious than anything else.

  “Kneel,” he commanded as he sat on the edge of his bed.

  She crossed her arms in front of her chest, but knelt at his feet, facing him. He took her shoulders to turn her away, until her back was to him. He had the idea that she might resist him less if she didn’t have to look at him. Especially if she didn’t have to see the effect her submission had on him.

  He released her hair from her braid and began finger-combing out the day’s snarls. It would keep him busy, and keep his mind from running wild with more erotically charged pleasures, as well as potentially putting her at her ease about his intentions. And it had been a tradition of his mother’s and Remi’s, him pampering her after a fight. As a child, he’d thought the man weak for participating, but perhaps the two had been onto something. It was hard to be wrapped up in one’s own mind when attending to the comfort of another.

  “So what makes you think you know thing one about who I am?” he asked.

  Her neck tensed. “I wasn’t a ceremonial alpha, you know. Every bit of intelligence the Kumori had on you passed through my hands, too. And your tattoos—”

  “Were for battles well-fought. Why do you assume you’re another battle for me?”

  She shrugged, sullenly. But she didn’t answer. He curled his fingers inward so that instead of stroking her neck, his nails were raking across the nape of it. She flinched, and delicate goosebumps rose on her flesh. “You don’t have to pretend, you know. We both know this mate-bond was tacked onto the alliance against both of our wishes. You don’t have to pretend to be on my side.”

  “Your side became our side when we both took the vows, no matter how grudgingly done.” He returned to smoothing her hair back. Her head went limp on her neck, rolling backwards in pleasure.

  Tessa was a puzzle, one he didn’t quite have confidence that he’d figure out. But he was making progress, beginning to make sense of the woman’s rough edges. And at least she wasn’t at his throat anymore. For the moment.

  “That’s sweet,” she mumbled. “It’s a lie, though. Our side is your side. It’s not like you gave up your position and came home with me.”

  “Is that it? Is that going to automatically make us enemies?”

  His wolf growled inside him, more than a little unhappy with her casual dismissal of everything he’d done to try to shape his life around her. Worse yet, beyond the sting of his hurt feelings was the doubt—what if it was simply manipulation on her part? What if she hoped to shame him into promising her time to visit the Kumori to pass information on, away from outsiders’ scrutiny?

  No. He couldn’t allow that. But he also couldn’t allow her to reframe his intentions.

  “You’re in my home. You sleep under a comforter my own kin sewed. You have my protection, even when you rebel against me. You have your mementos, your secrets. And it was your people who proposed the mating. According to tradition, that means it was always going to be you who put yourself forward to relocate, as a sign of good faith. Even if I were the most unambitious, lazy yearling. Why aren’t you mad at them, rather than me? If you are determined to fight me, specifically, then I won’t bother trying to reason with you.”

  Her inhale caught, unshed tears in it. She was strong; she wouldn’t cry in front of him. Even though he really thought she’d feel better if she could. Her resentment was poisonous, eating her from the inside out.

  “I don’t want your fear, pet. Fear is poisonous. It’s not respect.”

  She put her hand to her hair, resting it over his and using it to keep him from holding tight while she pulled away. She turned to face him, her eyes bright. Her lips trembled. She was pure skepticism and the fear of being wrong. “Prove you mean it.”

  “What?”

  “Truth or dare?”

  “Dare,” he said without a beat.

  She reached for the hem of her shirt, and yanked it up, exposing her breasts to him. “I dare you to touch me. I dare you to prove you’re not what’s poisoning me.”

  His breath caught at the sight of her nipples’ taut peaks and the way the light traced the lean angles of her stomach. She stood, placing those tantalizing curves directly in his eyesight, to tug her pants off her hips. Her thumbs hooked in her waistband, peeling the fabric off her hips slowly. She knew she had some power over him in this and was pushing him to see exactly how much.

  He didn’t know that he understood her game. But lord help him, he wanted to join in and play anyways.

  She was breathing heavily, those tantalizing breasts rising with each breath that swelled her ribcage. Her body was beginning to bruise after their training session, but the hints of shadow and color only made her more real, more alluring.

  She’d given him permission, all but dared him to claim her. His imagination and his inner wolf ran wild with thoughts of what might yet be. But if he dared think it would happen more than once, he’d have to handle it right, now. She was daring him to get out of line, to do something that would scare her worse.

  He had to show her she wouldn’t be scared.

  “Magic, remember,” he whispered, a little of his beast’s growl filling the bass in his voice.

  Her lips parted, and he wanted nothing more than to kiss them. But that wasn’t the point.

  “Bend over,” he said.

  A muscle in her jaw twitched, but she obeyed. Just as he’d guessed, she was second-guessing her own dare. But with her elbows braced on his bed, and her whole body awaiting his inspection, from her muscular legs to her fisting fingers, she looked a treat.

  He dragged
his fingers down the length of her spine, savoring its bumps and dips, and the smooth musculature buried beneath her skin. She sighed, and he could almost hear her beast in it reacting to his touch.

  He stood and walked in a half-circle around her, taking her in. He’d put money on it that the heady scent in the air wasn’t only her natural fragrance; he’d barely laid a finger on her, but she was well on her way to aroused. He cupped the curve at the bottom of her ass, enjoying the way her flesh gave at his touch. A little light glinted off her sex; she was all but glistening for him.

  Finally, he thought he knew what Tessa’s problem was: she played alpha because she was begging to be caught. He dug his fingers into her hips, and she arched into his touch, her back curving away from the bed until only her breasts dragged against it.

  Her toes curled into the rug, but he let the moment slide by as his touch turned to gentility again.

  If she thought she knew what to expect with him, she was sadly mistaken. He could stroke her skin all night, memorize its contours and planes. But he didn’t simply want to have her; he wanted to claim her. He wanted to be unforgettable and impossible to ignore. He wanted to rattle her the way no one ever had, and the way no one ever would again.

  His wolf craved her, but he didn’t simply want her body. He wanted to leave a mark. Before she’d gathered her wits enough to catch on, he pulled his palm back and landed a stinging slap on her ass. She gasped, her elbows digging into the bed, and twisted to glare at him, but she didn’t move.

  His handprint bloomed bright on her skin, a red mirage of all the things he wanted for them: trust, respect, and understanding.

  “I said touch,” she said, but beneath the wry amusement in her voice was a slow and honeyed undercurrent of pleasure.

  “And I gave you a safe word,” he retorted. “Use it, or submit.”

  She bit her lip, a flush mounting in her cheeks. She raised an eyebrow. Even though she was being perfectly obedient, her defiance couldn’t be more clear.