Alliance: an Alpha Shifter Romance (Mated in Hell Trilogy Book 1)

by K. de Long

  “And your mom didn’t have anything to say about that?” she asked, looking for holes in his story.

  “Not in the least.” He shrugged. “She was mated to the alpha, the man she loved. She didn’t give a shit about the man she destroyed. Just moved into her happy home and waited for me to melt into the background. Besides, Liam was always her favorite anyways.”

  There wasn’t bitterness in his voice; it was an old scar. Her heart ached for him. She knew that feeling of never being able to be enough for those she loved. She’d felt that often, knowing how her parents pined for a son who could carry on Alder’s legacy without angering the Kumori elders, a child of the right gender to rule. A child whose very existence could mean more than all of her accomplishments and strengths ever had.

  Her wolf howled for her to run, howled that Elias’s offer was too good to be true. That it was a trap. She had half a mind to listen to the beast and take off running far and fast, leaving the predatory lot of them behind.

  Instead, she narrowed her eyes and him and dug in her heels. “Why are you here anyways, if you don’t want bloodshed?”

  “Some friends of mine were supposed to join us. But they never showed up. We’re looking for where their bodies may have been buried so that we can bring them home to their kin with the Malvati. They’ve got cousins, wives, who miss them desperately, who need the closure.” He stared at her. “You know who I mean, and you know they’re dead. We just assumed, knowing Marrock’s reputation.”

  She cocked an eyebrow. “I think I do. And yeah. He beat them to death on the dueling ground for treason. You’d really undertake this simply for a widow’s feelings?”

  “Of course.” Elias all but snarled. “Family’s everything. You never quite realize that until you’ve lost yours.”

  Tessa thought she could understand it, somewhat. She sighed, not willing to cry in front of him. No matter how at ease he made her, with his warm mannerisms and concern for her. No matter how he seemed to offer a solution to all her problems.

  He started to reach for her hand, but stopped. Her heart skipped a beat. Was she actually looking forward to her hand in his? She was a mated woman. She pulled her hand into her lap, half angry at herself.

  “I see it in your eyes, you know,” he said. “You miss your family, too. You could go back to them.”

  The tears that had been threatening to burst free stung her eyes. “My duty is—”

  “What duty do you owe to a man who’d tear you away from your pack? If Liam hadn’t been such a greedy bastard, pushing for that alliance so he could have more strength to attack me, you’d be with them. Watching your dad’s back. Eating your mother’s cooking.”

  She knew it was self-interest on Elias’s part that he turn her, but lord help her, it was tempting. He was…nice. Reasonable. Not what she’d expected, from the trail of bodies, and from Marrock’s dour stories.

  I mean, he has a point, doesn’t he? Tessa asked herself, hating herself for even considering it. What could be viewed as Elias’ self-interest could easily be flipped to make everything up until this point Marrock’s self-interest. Was Elias tricking her now, or had Marrock been tricking her all along? And was there really a way to protect her family from the both of them?

  “And you’d stop targeting the Kumori? You’d let my family live, let me lead them in peace?”

  It sounded too good to be true, but she was desperate. She just wanted to go home. Just wanted to be safe, not at others’ mercy for survival. She didn’t want to be bound to a man she didn’t love, one who could never love her either.

  Elias leaned close, close enough for her to smell the tea on his breath. “I promise. Just be my ears. Work with me to minimize the pain, minimize the bloodshed. Work with me to contain my brother’s ambition.”

  Tears welled in her eyes. What she was considering was treason. But it also sounded like the best future for herself and the Kumori and Nefari alike. Once she did this, though, there would be no going back. There would be no recreating the alliance.

  If she didn’t do it, though, she’d be living a life she didn’t care about saving. It was a risk, but it was worth taking.

  “Okay. What now?”

  “Go home,” Elias said. “Watch. Listen. I’ll get a message to you explaining how you can reach me with what you find. That’s it. Just stay safe. I’ll leave, too, rather than risk my brother’s sentries putting two and two together with your late night walk and my men looking for our comrades’ corpses.”

  Her organs felt like lead. She didn’t know if it was the right decision, but the definition of insanity was doing the same thing repeatedly, and expecting different results. It was time to try something different.

  Marrock—Liam—had shown over and over again exactly how much he valued her company, her insight, her talents, which was to say, not much at all. If she stayed with him, it would wash away all that was good and strong in her, leaving behind only a shell of a person.

  She had a chance for freedom, and she had to take it.

  Chapter 24

  Liam woke up in Tessa’s arms. He drew a deep breath of her delectable fragrance and tightened his arm to roll her against his chest more firmly. God, she was beautiful in the morning. She smelled of the woods, and rainwater.

  He sat up, and looked down at her. He didn’t have any meetings first thing today, so perhaps she’d let him take her for a walk or something. Anything to wash the taste of last night out of his head.

  She stirred, her eyes opening halfheartedly. Then she blinked, and when they opened again, they were much more alert. And guarded. He knew the source of her angst.

  “I’ll do breakfast, pet,” he said. “Stay in bed.”

  She nodded, grudgingly. He watched her roll over and bury her face in the pillow as he got out of bed. He wasn’t the cook she was, but he could make a mean pan of eggs.

  The smell of them cooking seemed to rouse her. Her small hand brushed against the small of his back on her way to the table, and she leaned her head on her elbows, yawning, as he finished cooking.

  “Sleep well?” he asked.

  “Mmm,” was her only reply.

  She perked up once he set a mug of tea next to her eggs. The woman was not a morning person. But with every sip, clarity came to her eyes and sadness to her face. He ached for her.

  “Look, about last night—”

  “I think I should be your assistant,” she said. “I can help at meetings. Take notes, keep people comfortable, run errands. I—I don’t want to talk about last night. But the only way I’m not gonna get in your way or be a ripe target for others’ schemes is if I immerse myself in the Nefari’s runnings, to at least know what I’ve put my foot in.”

  She was letting him off the hook. But he appreciated it. “I’d like that. There’s nothing on the docket this morning, but this afternoon, I’ll introduce you to my council.”

  She grinned, but there was something off about it. Had she hoped he would say no? Then why ask?

  He pulled her lips to his and kissed her, hoping to chase the remaining melancholy away.

  “I’d expected you to be mad, still,” he confessed.

  A wall came down over Tessa’s eyes, and he knew that whatever she might say, however she might deflect, there was still hurt there. “Life’s too short,” she mumbled. “Besides. It’s not my place to be getting worked up over whatever hornet’s nest you choose to stick your dick in.”

  He winced at the image. “I wish you were further off than you are with that.”

  She cocked an eyebrow, halfway to laughing. He pulled her close to kiss her again, taste the smile on her lips. It wasn’t the reaction he’d expected, but he couldn’t pretend he wanted the fight that might have been.

  He heaved a sigh. “Thank you.”

  She gave him a halfhearted smile, but didn’t respond, except to bring another bite of food to her mouth. She reached across to him, and her arm brushed against some of the furrows in his forearms. He winced. The
scabs hadn’t fully given way to fresh-healed tissue even though it had been weeks. They kept reopening during training.

  “Have you been skipping the poultice intentionally?” she asked.

  He sighed, but didn’t answer. She’d hit the nail on the head, but he didn’t want to admit it. He didn’t even know why it seemed like taking the cheater’s way out to let the almost-magic herbs ease the pain.

  “Don’t be an ass,” she said, reading the answer on his face. “Take off your shirt, and let me do it.”

  “Yes, mistress,” he said mockingly, but swatted her ass as she walked away, to remind her that she could only get away with that as long as he let her.

  Sundries in the bathroom drawer clattered against each other as she searched for the little precious jar of ointment there. She returned, unscrewing its cap. Her eyebrows knit together. He did his best not to use the poultice, and she plainly hadn’t expected it to be nearly full. She didn’t know him or his pack well enough to realize what a rarity the poultice was, and how selfish he would have felt using it on minor injuries.

  “Hold out your arms,” she commanded, not meeting his eyes.

  He extended them, all but enclosing her in his arms. Her eyes half-shut in concentration as she examined the bloody furrows in his forearms.

  She set the jar on the table and put one hand under his arm to hold him steady. Her long fingers rested elegantly over his skin, making the fine hairs on his arms raise. She dipped her finger into the jar and began massaging the poultice into his broken skin in gentle circles.

  It stung—burned, even—as his body began to absorb it, but she seemed to have expected that. “If you want, you can dig your nails into me or something. Distract yourself.”

  His eyes watered from the sting and from the aromatic prickle. Giving a little pain right back sounded like just what the doctor had ordered. He wrapped his other arm around her, spinning her into his body. Her full rump pressed against his cock, completely chasing his wolf’s pained grumbles from his mind. She whuffed a soft sigh, but let him stay like that, resuming work with his arms clutched around her instead.

  “I’m glad you seem happier,” he said.

  “Why weren’t you using it already?” she asked, and he chose to read her ill temper as protective.

  That, and the muscles in her body shifting as she tended to him brought his cock to life. She must notice how he pressed into her. She must be thinking of the last time he held her like this, his cock inside her and her ass red from his spankings.

  Still, she kept silent. Either she had the focus of a god or the mind of a tease. He didn’t really care which.

  The pause stretched long. She cleared her throat. Hurriedly, he answered, stumbling over the words. “Our stores are low. More for me means less for someone else. And they were barely scratches.”

  She snorted. “Take me out on a hike or two, and we’ll harvest more. And who’s your apothecary? My family’s got a proprietary blend that amplifies the poultice’s effects, so you need maybe half as much for a given wound.”

  “I’ll hold you to that,” he said.

  She thumped his biceps to make him release her, then turned back to him, holding his chin to inspect the shallower furrows on his neck and chest. Then, her whisper-light fingertips began brushing there, too.

  If not for the poultice’s sting, it could be foreplay, something tender, exploratory. And the heat in her eyes told him that while it might seem perfunctory, for her, it was anything but. He wanted to kiss her. Tip her chin up to his, and—

  He forced himself to focus on her offer.

  It would take a load off his mind if she could boost their medicinal stores and the supplies’ efficacy. That, however, should have already been passed on to him by now as part of the alliance, so he bristled a little that this was just coming out now.

  She began pinching stems off some of the herbs that had taken up residence on his windowsills and brought them to him. “Chew these. There’s no point to you torturing yourself.”

  He raised an eyebrow, but obeyed.

  The ever-present burning pain faded quickly, leaving him exhausted. She seemed to have anticipated it. She took his hand and guided him to bed. Though he started out sitting, the world seemed to sway. He curled to the side, listing into her, and she raised an arm, pulling him into her lap. He dozed off there, with her arm around him.

  He could get used to this new Tess.

  Tessa watched Liam sleep. She’d had to remind herself not to use his name—he didn’t expect her to know it. He looked so peaceful, and she hadn’t missed how much he liked her when she was doing her best to be agreeable. She stroked his hair. He really was a good-looking man. Okay. Understatement of the century. Elias had raw charm, and a boyish grin, but he was no match for Liam’s intensity. Not to mention the corded dips and planes of Liam’s musculature simply begged to be touched, to be licked, to be—

  A noise halfway between a laugh and a sob left Tessa’s lips. She sagged against the headboard. Here she was, eye-fucking him as he slept, rather than keeping her mind on more important matters.

  She hadn’t slept well. When she’d returned last night, she’d stayed up half the night, wondering whether she’d made a mistake. Could she truly betray her mate? Even to save herself and her family?

  Liam’s even breathing made it easier, then as now, to let go of her uncertainty and simply be. It was a blessing she didn’t feel she deserved. She shut her eyes and tried to block out how peaceful he looked. She hated that she felt it, too, with his breath tickling her thigh and his hair falling across her body.

  Would she still feel that peace once everything had shaken out and she’d come to terms with herself as a traitor? What would things be like when she made it home? Would her family accept her? Would they turn against her for betraying those they’d sold her to? Liam might die in the takeover; she couldn’t imagine him going quietly or accepting defeat. Elias would have no choice but to put him in the ground. Could she really accept that?

  Did she even know who Liam was? Was he the violent alpha asshole that she’d thought at first, that Mara saw, too? Was he the man who treated her tenderly and actually seemed to care about whether or not they were on speaking terms? Was he the conniving, power-hungry despot Elias saw?

  If she was gonna have a chance of doing the right thing, she had to know.

  Liam stirred, still somewhat drugged from the medicine she’d given him to sooth him. With a little luck, he might not even remember it this afternoon. It wouldn’t last long, though. Though drowsiness was common for the first half hour to hour of the dose, after that, it would fade to a manageable feeling of distance and floatiness. Not a condition he should be fighting in, but one that should leave his mind fairly uncluttered and free for the bulk of his work.

  “M? Marrock?”

  “Mmm.” He snuggled his face into her thigh. Tessa had to stifle a smile. “What?”

  “This is tearing me apart. If I’m gonna trust you—if you’re my alpha, if you’re gonna have my full loyalty—you need to come clean. Tell me everything. I don’t know that I can take this otherwise. Starting with Elias.”

  She didn’t know what she felt more like in that moment—a blatant hypocrite or a traitorous spy.

  Both.

  Liam stared at her, though it took him long enough that he must be having difficulty focusing on her. She smoothed the hair back from his face.

  “You’re right,” he said. “I don’t like rehashing the story, because it’s an ugly one. But this is your pack too. You have a right to know.”

  She held her breath as his eyes fluttered shut. Would he fall asleep before he actually spoke? A second later, he opened them again, and she realized he’d simply been looking for a place to start.

  “We don’t consider power dynastic. When Elias’s father passed, god rest his soul, Elias lost his standing with it. But he never quite seemed to realize that. He wanted things to go on as before, and whenever they didn’t, he l
ost his temper. He…he was always the sweet kid everyone loved. I was my mom’s favorite, because I rarely bothered her or got in trouble. He was the one who was so vivacious, so cheerful, so outgoing, that it was impossible not to like him. He hid his violence under a kind face and a warm joke.”

  “Is that really so different than you?” Tessa asked. A second too late, she realized that it was a leading question that might make him suspicious. To deflect from the harshness of the question, she tangled her fingers with his, and squeezed gently.

  “There’s a world of difference between us, pet. I never killed anyone for their transgressions until Elias started pushing people toward high treason that could cause packmembers’ deaths. Even when the will of the pack and our laws dictated that I should have killed him.” Liam sighed. “You don’t have a high opinion of me. I wouldn’t either. This, us—” He raised their joined hands. “—I handled it badly. You didn’t help, but two wrongs don’t make a right. I can tell you I’m different ‘til my lips turn blue, but if you don’t see it, you won’t believe it.”

  His eyes were too sharp. Maybe she should have given him a stronger dose. Or maybe she’d waited too long to ask her questions. He propped himself on an elbow, and his hair tickled against her skin as it dragged against, and then away from her with his head’s movements. “Tess, pet, do you actually want to try to get to know each other as mates, see if there’s a friendship to be salvaged?” His fingers tightened on hers. “If you want, I can send you home as an envoy to the Kumori. I’d have to send someone with you, to reassure my people that you were looking after our interests, or that someone could, since I couldn’t blame you for leaving your heart with your family. But you could be home. You could live completely separate from me. If that’s what you want.”

  He looked like it hurt him even to extend the offer. But her heart sang that he had. If she wanted, she could be home. She could stand by her family without betraying her bound mate.

  Tears welled in her eyes, and she didn’t bother holding them back. Liam pulled her closer, tucking her head against his muscled chest. His heartbeat against her cheek should have been calming, but now all she could think of was the motion and vibration stilling as Elias ran him through.