Bonds of Matrimony

by A C J McKechnie

  “You love him, Ellie, you can’t deny that.”

  “Of course I love him! And he left me! He left me, Tessa! How do you think that feels!?” she yelled as her tears started up again. “How do you think it feels to know that instead of being stuck in a marriage with a woman who he doesn’t love, he’d give up everything just to get away from her?! How do you think that makes me feel?! And now he has nothing, all because he wanted to get out of something that he was forced into in the first place!

  “No wonder he couldn’t love me! How could he when he thought that I’d manipulated him!?”

  “How could you?” she shot back. “You thought that he’d manipulated you, and yet you love him, don’t you?” Tessa said, and Ellie floundered suddenly.

  “That’s … that’s different.”

  “Is it? How? Why do you think that he wouldn’t come to love you, even with the assumption that you knew all about your dad’s actions?”

  “Because he didn’t, alright?” she gritted out. “He didn’t fall in love with me.”

  “Didn’t he?”

  “No.”

  “How do you know?”

  “Because he told me. Alright? He told me that he didn’t love me. Told me to my face that he didn’t deserve to be stuck with someone he didn’t love,” she ground out and watched as Tessa’s face registered shock.

  “What?” she gasped, and Ellie started to pace as she thought over everything that had happened. About the manipulation displayed by two people that were supposed to love the pair of them so much.

  “When he left,” Ellie explained to the other woman, “I asked him why. He told me that nobody deserved to be in a loveless marriage. That’s how I know.”

  “But … but …,” Tessa floundered then shook her head. “It doesn’t matter, he’s still married to you. You can still get this to work. He can’t divorce you, Ellie. You can still try with him,” she said, and Ellie snorted at that.

  “Why? Why, Tessa? What would it achieve?”

  “Start again,” she said. “Start fresh with each other. When he finds out that you had nothing to do with it you can start over and put the past behind you,” she said, and Ellie slowed in her tracks to think over the woman’s words. Something in them was resonating with her, and suddenly it clicked.

  Zachary had said something to her like that when he’d come to her room extending an olive branch the night that he’d confronted her about her dad dying. He’d said that they should start fresh, pretend that the past hadn’t happened.

  There had been a change in him, a change from the night before. The night before they’d fought and she’d accused him of something. He’d asked her why she’d married him, and she’d told him. She’d told him that she hadn’t had a choice. He’d figured it out. He must have figured out that she hadn’t known, that she’d been a victim just like him. He’d obviously realized that they were both innocent in it all.

  But if that had been the case then why hadn’t he mentioned his innocence? Why hadn’t he mentioned what his part in it all had really been? Why hadn’t he explained that they’d both been manipulated? Why hadn’t he told her the truth about himself? About her dad?

  She’d always been confused about the incongruous nature of him and his actions with regards to their marriage, and it made sense now. They’d never been inconsistent. She’d known underneath it all that he’d been a good guy. She’d known and she’d fallen in love with him because of that. But she’d found out what he was really like herself, he hadn’t told her. Why? He’d been so supportive, he’d tried with her. If he’d told her the truth he’d have been saved from a lot of the accusations that she’d made about him.

  She’d said some terrible things to him, about him. And he’d taken them all, even though they were completely unjustified. He’d taken them because he hadn’t wanted to tell her the truth.

  “So we tell him. I’ll confess,” Tessa continued. “Once he finds out, when he finally knows –”

  “He already does,” Ellie interrupted quietly before looking over at the other woman. “He figured it out himself,” she said and watched as Tessa’s eyes widened. “And now he only has to wait two years and he can be free of me,” she said with a rueful smile.

  “What do you mean?” Tessa asked. “He can’t divorce you unless … ohhhh,” she said with wide eyes and a wide mouth, and Ellie turned away while blushing bright red. “Ohhhhh!” she said more excitedly, and Ellie looked back at the woman to see her almost bouncing in place. “Oh my goodness, Ellie, you slept with him. You slept with Zach!” she enthused, and Ellie’s blush deepened before she looked hastily away again.

  “This is fantastic!” Tessa exclaimed, and Ellie couldn’t help but look at her sister-in-law in confusion.

  “Fantastic?” she asked in bewilderment.

  “Yes. Oh, don’t you see?” she asked, and Ellie continued to stare at the woman in puzzlement. “Ellie, this is wonderful,” she repeated, and Ellie just shook her head at the woman.

  “Wonderful? To have slept with my husband only to have him leave me the next morning? Not even twenty-four hours after the fact? In fact, it was more like fourteen hours. Fourteen hours after taking me to his bed he left me, Tessa. Explain to me how wonderful that is. He left me and let me know that he never loved me,” she said and turned away again as the same hurt that had buried into her heart four days ago resurfaced.

  “No,” Tessa declared, and Ellie glanced her way briefly to see the woman looking stern. “No. I don’t believe it. I know my brother, Ellie. You know Zach. You wouldn’t have slept with him if you believed that.”

  “Of course I didn’t believe it at the time. Of course I thought that he loved me. I would never have slept with him if I’d thought otherwise. But as soon as … as soon as …,” she stumbled and blushed. “Well, he changed, Tessa. He changed then he left. He walked out on me.”

  “What did he say, Ellie?” Tessa asked with narrowed eyes as she obviously thought things through. “What did he actually say to you?”

  “When?”

  “When he left. What did he say?”

  “He said that nobody deserves to be in a loveless marriage,” Ellie related and watched as the woman processed that.

  “Are you sure,” she asked carefully, “that he was referring to himself?”

  “What?”

  “Are you sure that he meant him? Could he not have meant … you?” she suggested slowly, and Ellie ran the possibility through her mind, shaking her head in the negative.

  “No. He knew that I loved him.”

  “How do you know? Did you tell him?”

  “No. No, I didn’t need to.”

  “Then how do you know that he knew?”

  “Because he told me that he’d never go to bed with a woman who didn’t love him first. He slept with me, Tessa, and according to his rules he’d never do so without the woman loving him first. He knew.”

  “So did you,” she pointed out, and Ellie stumbled in her thought processes.

  “I … I thought I knew,” she protested.

  “Perhaps he thought he knew as well. Perhaps when everything was over he started to doubt, like you did. Perhaps he decided that he’d thought wrong. Like you,” she said, and Ellie thought over that. Could it be possible? Had he been referring to her instead of himself?

  “I don’t understand,” Ellie said as she sat down wearily.

  “Think about it, Ellie. What would you say that Zach loves most in this world? If you truly believe it’s not you, then what is it?”

  “His company. His business. His father’s legacy,” she said with a puckered brow.

  “So with that being the case, why did he walk away from it? Why did he do one of the few things that meant that he’d lose it? What would motivate a man who has spent the last decade devoted to his work to turn his back on that work? What would be worth more to him than that? What would it take to get him to walk away?” Tessa asked probingly, and Ellie scanned through everything
in her brain.

  The answer was so obvious. So obvious that she barely hoped to believe that it was true.

  Slowly looking over at her sister-in-law, she locked hopeful eyes with her and asked, “What do we do next?”

  Tessa’s answering smile warmed Ellie’s own, and her smile grew as the woman said, “We get ourselves a lawyer.”

  Chapter Twenty-three

  Zach looked around his room and grimaced. Enough of wallowing and self-pity. He’d spent a week living like a slob and it was time to tidy up. Time to make some plans. Time to do something more than just sit and stare at the four walls surrounding him. It was time to stop dwelling on his memories and the past. Time to stop thinking of everything he’d lost.

  Standing up abruptly, he tried to shake off his thoughts again, but found them circling through his head anyway as he tidied up the room. He really should have stayed somewhere less pricey, he had no money, after all, but it wasn’t like he was exactly used to having nothing.

  When he’d left his home, and his wife, he’d gotten into his car and headed to the cheapest hotel that he knew of. It wasn’t exactly cheap, but it was the least costly one he knew. He’d gotten a room and sat in it, hanging up a ‘do not disturb’ sign and ordering room service when the mood struck him, which wasn’t all that often. He hadn’t really had an appetite.

  Which was most likely a good thing in retrospect. He had no idea how he was going to pay the bill as it was without having added in copious amounts of food. He’d walked out on Ellie, and by doing so he’d forfeited his money, his possessions, his business, everything. He’d even forfeited his car, but he’d needed a quick escape at the time. He’d get it back to her, but right now he didn’t feel inclined to move from his own cave.

  He’d been secluded, and happy that way. Tessa had tried contacting him, as had his mom, Josh, Clive, and even Pauline, but he’d ignored them all. He didn’t want to talk to anybody. The only person that he had spoken to was his lawyer to inform him of his breach of contract. The man had been surprised but had stuck to the conditions set down and informed Zach that he’d set all of the paperwork into motion for the transfer of assets.

  With that business handled he’d retreated into his shell to consider all of his losses. Of all the things that no longer belonged to him the hardest to accept losing was Ellie herself. But Zach knew that he couldn’t keep her tied to him. She believed that he’d forced her to marry him to start with, he wasn’t going to keep her prisoner in a marriage that she’d never wanted, especially when she didn’t love him. She deserved more than that. She deserved to have a man who she loved.

  Not that Zach was particularly happy with the thought of her finding a man to love, but after all that she’d been through he couldn’t be another person responsible for having her live a life that she didn’t want to. So he’d left. Left her to have the life that she deserved. Left her to do what she wanted, with whomever she wanted to.

  He’d been contemplating his own future as well, thinking of what he could do. He needed work, that was a given, and he needed it soon. He needed to find somewhere to stay as well, he couldn’t keep racking up his credit card bill by staying in a hotel. He’d thought of calling Josh, but judging by the man’s angry and explosive voicemail message he wasn’t sure that he’d be too welcomed by his friend.

  In fact, everybody who’d left a message had been furious at Zach, and he was feeling very alone at the moment. Everyone had heard that he’d walked out on his wife the day before Christmas and had a few choice words to say to him about it all. Most noticeably of course was his sister who’d ranted and raved and told him that she wanted nothing to do with such a man anymore.

  His mother had been just as disappointed in him, albeit in a more subdued manner, the type of manner which had him cringing and hanging his head at her softly spoken reprimands. The one person who he’d wanted to hear from though hadn’t contacted him at all. Though he hadn’t expected Ellie to in all honesty.

  What would she say? Thank you? He wasn’t sure that he wanted to hear that. Any other scenario seemed too hopeful to dwell on, and highly unrealistic considering their penultimate encounter the night before he’d left. She’d been furious at him again, just like she had from the start, and he’d realized in that instant that underneath it all nothing had really changed on her end. So he’d lain awake and made the decision to stop the farce. To call an end to their ridiculous marriage.

  Of course that couldn’t officially happen for two years. Or more accurately one year and three hundred and fifty-seven days. That thought was both comforting and unsettling. The idea of having a connection to her was something that he secretly cherished, but at the same time he almost wished that if things were going to end that they’d do so swiftly. A sweet torture in a way, knowing that there was a bond between them that couldn’t be broken for such a long length of time.

  Thinking back to the reason that he could finally get a divorce when sufficient time had passed, Zach ran a hand down his face in frustration before laying back on his large bed and staring up at the ceiling now that the room was more respectable.

  At least he’d get that memory of her. Though again, a sort of sweet torture was going on with regards to it. The fact that he’d been the first to have her brought a surge of masculine pride to him, but that was tempered by the idea that he’d never experience such bliss again.

  Hell, he really needed to get out of his own mind. It wasn’t productive, it wasn’t helpful, and it wasn’t comforting. He needed to start working on a plan. First and foremost was accommodation. With no income the best solution would be contacting a friend and asking for their assistance in housing him.

  Not exactly eager to move back in with his mom, the first person who he thought of was Josh. He knew that the man was angry, but once he explained everything to him, and now that the pre-nup had been broken he could actually do that fully, he was sure that his friend would show compassion for him.

  Dialing the relevant number, he waited for an answer only to find his endeavors frustrated by the man’s answerphone kicking in. Leaving a brief message, Zach hung up and started to think about phase two. Employment. He had enough skills to be employed basically anywhere in the business world, but he had the nagging suspicion that the fact that he was so overqualified wouldn’t sit well with many an employer.

  Of course he could always start a new business from scratch, but that would take time. Time and money. Neither of which he had. Really what he needed was some form of employment to supply him with the necessary funds for daily living, and then he could use his free time to work on a business plan.

  As his brain started to scour through jobs that he thought might be suitable for him a knock sounded on his room door, and he glanced towards it with a furrowed brow. He hadn’t removed his ‘do not disturb’ sign since he’d first entered a week ago, so there was no reason for anyone to be trying to disturb him.

  Ignoring the sound on the assumption that someone had gotten the wrong room number, he set his brain to thinking again. When the sound came again Zach sighed and resigned himself to having to deal with the lost person.

  Reluctantly standing upright, he ran a hand through his disheveled hair, took in his rumpled appearance, and shrugged. At least he was clean shaven. He’d shaved that morning, feeling uncomfortable with the amount of growth on his face at the time. And every day he’d showered, not necessarily for personal hygiene, but rather in an effort to clear his thoughts and wash away the memories. Of course it hadn’t worked, but it had had the benefit of keeping him fresh.

  Not really caring about his appearance, especially when it concerned a stranger, he headed towards the door and peeked through the spyhole there. When he saw the unknown man lift his hand to obviously rap his knuckles on the door again, Zach realized that there was no way out of talking to the man.

  With another glance at his crumpled t-shirt and jeans, he opened the door to speak to the stranger there. As he did so he found himse
lf surprised to note another figure standing to the side of his mystery guest, one which he did recognize.

  “Ellie?” he managed in confusion and saw her glance his way quickly with a hesitant smile before quickly looking away again. Completely surprised and unsettled by this strange turn of events, he found himself standing there in silence before his attention was focused by the man who hadn’t spoken yet.

  “Mr McCormack?” the man inquired, and Zach nodded at him. “May we come in?” he asked congenially, and Zach could only continue to nod while he stumbled back into his room, opening the door wider for the pair in the process.

  Standing there in a stupor, he took in Ellie’s form and couldn’t help but find himself utterly enthralled by it. She was stunning, absolutely stunning and gorgeous, and he withheld the groan trying to rise in this throat over the fact that he’d lost her.

  Had he really given her up? Why? Why the hell would a man walk away from a woman like her? And not just such a beautiful one physically. She was also strong, confident, kind, compassionate, caring, and loving. Why hadn’t he stuck around and tried to win her? Why hadn’t he given himself more of a chance to keep her, to gain her love? Perhaps she could still fall for him. They still had almost two years of being linked, could he win her in that amount of time? Should he try?

  As his thoughts continued to circle he found himself snapped to attention by the subject of his musings speaking to him herself.

  “I have a proposition for you, Zachary,” she said confidently, and he stared at where she was standing beside the other man who was unpacking equipment from a case that he’d brought in with him.

  “A proposition?” he managed in confusion as he focused back on her. You’d never believe that a mere two months ago this woman was working as a maid in a hotel not unlike the one they were currently in. Right now she looked like she’d be right at home in a board meeting with high powered executives. Her fiery curls were pulled back away from her face, making his fingers itch to unleash them. Her eyes were sparkling with confidence and success. Her body was encased in a professional, yet feminine, black skirt suit with an underlying emerald green blouse. And her legs, if he kept looking at her legs he wasn’t going to be able to control himself. She had on sheer hosiery completed with the sexiest black stilettos he’d ever seen grace a woman’s feet.