Wicked Bartender PG-13 Version

by KuroKoneko Kamen

  Chapter 5: Sweet Revenge

  Dante was grateful for Joan’s assistance in allowing him to exterminate all of the pests in the kitchen. The demon looked down at Joan’s hand on his wrist as she dragged him out of the kitchen. It was strange that a human female was touching him of her own free will and wasn’t terrified. Although, long ago Jeanne d’Arc had touched him, and she hadn’t been afraid either.

  “Dante.” Joan spoke up again.

  Dante snapped out of his daze and stared down at the young woman questioningly. “Yes?”

  Joan looked down at her hand on Dante’s wrist and seemed to realize what she was doing. She immediately let go of Dante’s wrist with an embarrassed expression on her face. “Er…sorry.” She apologized as she walked away from Dante with her head down so that her bangs were shielding her expression.

  Dante watched Joan go curiously. The female was acting strangely. Dante scratched his head. He didn’t really understand human females.

  That’s when a rather strange sound caught Dante’s attention. It sounded like someone was throwing up inside of the girl’s bathroom. Dante turned his head to the bathroom door in concern. Oh dear, is someone throwing up because their food was bad? Dante opened the door to the women’s bathroom and strode inside. He walked over to the only closed stall door and stood, pondering what he should do. The phrase ‘customer service’ floated through his mind. Dante reached out and opened the stall door, which had been locked, but was no match against Dante’s demonic strength.

  There on her knees on the bathroom floor was Kim. She was currently throwing up into the toilet and her hands were gripping the toilet seat. Dante crouched by her side and reached out his hand. He hesitated and then reminded himself ‘customer service, customer service’. Dante placed his hand on Kim’s back and began to stroke her back in a comforting manner. Or what he hoped was a comforting manner. He’d never really comforted anyone before so he couldn’t be sure.

  Kim’s eyes snapped open in surprise. Who the hell was in the bathroom with her? She wondered. It didn’t feel like a woman’s hand on her back either. The hand was large, calloused, and manly. But strangely comforting.

  Kim wanted to turn around to see who it was but she continued to throw up. Tears prickled Kim’s eyes out of embarrassment. How humiliating.

  After a few minutes, Kim finally stopped throwing up but her body was still trembling so that comforting hand kept rubbing circles into her back. Kim looked behind her and was surprised to see Dante, the new bartender. What the hell was he doing in the women’s bathroom?

  Dante gave Kim a concerned look. Kim did not look like a ‘happy’ customer. “Are you alright, Miss? Was there something wrong with the food? If there was we would be happy to replace your meal with something else.” Dante offered while remembering Joan’s words.

  Kim blinked back at Dante. “Uh, no, there was nothing wrong with the food. I’m sorry.” Is this guy dense or what?

  Dante frowned at the skinny, blonde girl, not really catching on. “Tsk.” He clicked his tongue as he shook his head at Kim. “You should eat something else. You’re much too skinny. You need to put a little more meat on your bones. Women should have wide, mother-bearing hips.” Dante had noticed how the females of this era were much too skinny. They all looked like they were starving to death. Dante briefly wondered if this was because times were tough, but the city seemed prosperous so that didn’t make any sense. Then he wondered if some sort of disease was going around, something similar to the Black Death. But that couldn’t be right either. From what Dante had read back at the library modern medicine was incredible.

  Now, Joan, on the other hand looked quite healthy and even had a slightly muscular physique. She had nice arm definition, abs, and toned legs. Not that Dante had been picturing Joan without her clothes on or anything.

  Too skinny. Kim was swept away by Dante’s words. No one had ever said she was too skinny before. He even thought she should put on more weight! “You think I’m…skinny?” Kim asked Dante and held her breath.

  Dante nodded. “Most certainly. You must consume more food, or else it could be bad for your health.”

  Kim’s expression fell and she looked guilty. “Yes, you’re right.”

  Dante reached out and patted Kim’s head. He stood up and offered his hand to Kim to help her up. Kim smiled up at Dante and took his hand. However-

  A few models entered the bathroom at that moment and their eyes widened when they caught sight of Dante. “Eeeee! There’s a man in the girl’s bathroom!” They screeched.

  The females fled the bathroom and a moment later Joan was stalking inside of the girl’s bathroom with purposeful steps. She caught sight of Dante and Kim, however, and noted how Dante was still holding Kim’s hand. Her initial worry about a man being inside of the girl’s bathroom left her but she was left with a strange indecipherable feeling at seeing Dante and Kim alone together.

  “Dante! What the hell do you think you’re doing in here?” Joan approached Dante, grabbed his ear unexpectedly, and began to unceremoniously drag him from the girl’s bathroom. “Men aren’t allowed in the girl’s bathroom…idiot!”

  Idiot? The insult should have irritated the demon but for some reason it only seemed to amuse him. The word coming out of Joan’s mouth had almost sounded like an endearment. Dante allowed Joan to pull him along. She was hurting his ear but he could take it. “Oh, I see, but…your friend Kim was throwing up. I was concerned that something had been wrong with her food.”

  Joan let go of Dante’s ear and turned to face him wide-eyed. “You heard Kim throwing up so you…? Argh.” Joan ruffled her short bob of hair with both her hands in exasperation. She looked around conspicuously to make sure no one was around to eavesdrop on their conversation before Joan leaned forward and spoke to Dante in a low, conspiratorial tone. “Dante, nothing was wrong with the food. Kim suffers from bulimia.”

  Dante blinked at the unfamiliar term. “Bulimia? What is bulimia?”

  Joan stared at Dante for a moment before slapping a hand to her forehead. Of course a thousand or more year old demon wouldn’t know what bulimia was. “It’s an eating disorder. Girls who think that they are too fat make themselves throw up after they eat so that they won’t gain weight.”

  Dante gave Joan a confused look. “I don’t understand. Why would a female care if they looked fat?”

  Joan let out an exasperated sigh. “Because in this era an ‘attractive’ woman is considered to be a skinny woman. The skinny look has come to represent wealth and beauty. It is a trend of this era.”

  “How is a female who looks like she’s starving to death attractive?” The demon scoffed. “The males of this era have strange taste indeed. I could practically see her ribs.” Dante muttered the last sentence darkly to himself. “In the Renaissance period being fat in paintings and sculptures showed the value of the human body and pureness. Realism was a way of expression. Women were considered beautiful and sexy if they were fat. Men wanted to have a healthy woman at the home since the life expectancy around that time was about twenty-five.”

  Joan nodded in agreement. More than five centuries ago in France, larger women had been considered attractive. “Large breasts and full hips were a sign of fertility in that era. They were never considered overweight but as having a full figure. Nowadays, a woman who looks like Kim is considered to be very attractive.”

  Dante shook his head, causing some of his wavy, black hair to fall into one side of his face in an attractive manner. “She would be much prettier if she gained a few pounds and looked more like…a woman. Humans are so…nonsensical. Why should she care if she’s considered attractive by the masses anyways?”

  “Well, Kim needs to be considered attractive by the masses, Dante. She’s a model. Photos and paintings are taken of her for a living. Kim also wants to be found attractive to men, so she worries about her weight and wants to be skinny. She’s always trying the latest diets and goes to the
gym a lot.”

  “What kind of man wants his woman to be throwing up her meal in the bathroom? It’s unhealthy. This is preposterous…all women are attractive in their own way.” Dante stated firmly.

  Joan smiled brightly at Dante then. “I think so too. This is a tough era for a woman to live in. There’s a lot of pressure on how a woman should look.”

  Dante raised an eyebrow at Joan. “And is it the norm for a woman not to wear skirts and for her to keep her hair short?”

  Joan snorted. “I never follow the norm. Besides, I’m a feminist.”

  Dante smirked at Joan. Feisty. “I see. I suppose you need a strong will not to be affected by the unreasonable expectations of this era.” That said Dante walked off and headed for the bar. If he stuck around any longer he might not be able to resist the sudden urge to place a kiss on those pouty lips of hers.

  Joan blushed and gave Dante a strange look as he left. Did he just give me a compliment? And was he really comforting Kim in the bathroom while she threw up? Dantalion…have you really changed? Or is this all some kind of trick?

  ***

  When Joan’s friends had arrived at Dullahan’s Irish Pub, Alan had been shocked to see so many gorgeous young women. Chance! This was it. Alan had worked very hard to get away from his old nerdy appearance, and now he hoped he looked handsome, hip and EMO. He knew he wasn’t bad looking. Maybe he could finally scrounge up the courage to talk to one of those beautiful women and ask her out.

  That’s when Alan saw her. His new muse. His goddess. She entered the pub after the others with Joan trailing behind. She was the most beautiful woman Alan had ever seen with long, golden hair that cascaded down to her waist, huge, honey-colored eyes, and peachy skin. She was wearing a braided headband, a belly shirt that showed off her bellybutton piercing and six-pack abs, and a flowing, bohemian, flower-print skirt. A pair of dainty, strappy sandals were on her feet. Alan also noticed the trendy, feather earrings in her ears and the matching, beaded, feather necklace around her swan-like neck. She also had the most adorable beauty mark under her left eye. Alan had a thing for beauty marks and wondered briefly if there were any other such marks on her body.

  I’m the owner of this place! I can just go and introduce myself! Alan thought to himself as he gathered his courage and approached Kim with stiff, robotic-like steps. He stood behind Kim, who was getting a drink. “Um, excuse me.” Alan began in a low, tremulous voice.

  Kim turned around and started forward. She didn’t realize that someone had been standing directly behind her and so she walked right into Alan. As a result she spilled her drink all over the front of his green and white, stripped sweater.

  Kim looked horrified by what she’d just done. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry!”

  Alan looked down at his sweater and let out a heavy sigh. Things never went smoothly for him when it came to women. Alan smiled at Kim and shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. I’m the owner of this pub…so feel free to get yourself another free drink.”

  Kim raised an eyebrow at Alan. “The owner? You’re not the owner.” She shot back in a sassy manner with her hand on her jutted hip.

  Alan blinked. “Excuse me? I-I am.”

  Kim tapped her chin thoughtfully as she looked Alan over from head to toe. “You’re too young and handsome to be the owner. You must be the manager. Yep, that’s what you really are - the manager.” She clapped her hands together, and looked quite pleased with herself and her skills of deduction.

  Alan rubbed his temples. “But…I am the owner. I inherited this place from my older brother. He passed away recently.”

  Kim’s haughty expression immediately softened. “Oh…I’m sorry. Me and my big mouth! Do you need me to help clean that up?” She pointed to his sweater.

  Alan looked down at his sweater, blushed at the idea of Kim placing a towel against his bare chest and shook his head. He’d love to get her hands on him but he decided he’d better not risk it. “Naw, I have like twenty more stripped sweaters just like this one upstairs.” I shouldn’t have said that.

  Kim giggled at that declaration. “You mean like Waldo? You’re funny. What’s your name?”

  Alan’s blue eyes twinkled at Kim’s compliment. “Alan Dullahan.”

  “I’m Kimberley Eden. It’s nice to meet you, Alan. I’ll see you around.” The supermodel turned around and with a flip of her hair went back to choosing a drink.

  Alan sighed. He wished he’d let Kim clean his sweater. Instead Alan went upstairs to get another sweater to put on and put the soiled sweater in the dirty clothes hamper. “Kim Eden.” Alan said to himself with longing.

  ***

  The rest of the day went by quickly for Dante. Kim and her model friends left and things began to quiet down in the pub. Customers and new potential customers had consumed all of the free drinks Dante had made. All in all, Joan’s idea had been a complete success. Alan was visibly happy and Joan looked proud of herself. The only ones who didn’t seem too happy by this turn of events seemed to be Franky, Jenny and Ivan.

  Dante still had some demonic power left over that he’d managed to harvest during the cockroach on the burger incident and decided to use it to read Franky, Jenny and Ivan’s minds.

  I can’t believe this load of crap. Where the hell did this waitress and bartender come from? This wasn’t supposed to happen. No one was supposed to be hired here. We’re losing our control over Alan. What will happen if Dante or Joan discovers that we’ve been stealing from him? Crap. Franky’s mind.

  Ooo that Franky! I am so mad at him I could spit! How dare he ogle those models when I’m right here! Even if he decides to break up with me he can’t let me go that easily. We’re partners in crime. We’ve both been stealing from Alan and that naïve twerp has been none the wiser. We had Alan under our control until Joan and Dante showed up. I wonder what we’ll do now. Jenny’s mind.

  That meddlesome girl. How dare she boss me around and tell me to clean up my kitchen! Waitress Joan...just who does she think she is to tell me my kitchen is dirty? Stupid girl! I’ll make that little witch pay…and I’ll enjoy it. A lascivious smile formed on Ivan’s chubby face at the thought.

  Dante had to resist the urge to kill Ivan on the spot as he read the German chef’s dirty thoughts concerning Joan. The demon balled his hands into fists at his sides angrily and bit his tongue until he tasted the metallic tang of blood. Alan had said he needed to settle things in a ‘nonviolent manner’. But how? Franky and Jenny were stealing from Alan, and Ivan was a rapist pig. It would be so much easier to just kill them but he didn’t want to destroy Alan’s trust in him. Instead, he needed to reveal their true colors to Alan somehow. He needed a plan.

  Midnight rolled around and Jenny and Joan started to wipe down all of the tables and put the chairs up. Dante began to wipe the bar down and finished washing all of the glasses. The first to leave the pub was Ivan, who was followed by Franky and Jenny, who left the pub arm in arm. Alan had gone upstairs to go to bed. Joan was putting the cleaning rag away when she spotted Dante at the bar. She walked over to him and gave the demon a curious look. “Planning on pulling another all-nighter?”

  Dante shook his head, “No, actually, I’m exhausted. This human body is, er, I need some rest.”

  Human body? Joan gave Dante a curious look. How was it that the demon had a human body to begin with? “That’s probably a good idea. Don’t push yourself too hard, Dante. Everyone needs to rest every once in a while.” Especially if it’s true and his body is human now.

  Dante nodded. “Indeed.”

  Joan turned to go. “C-ya tomorrow. Have a good night.” She waved her hand through the air without looking back.

  “Goodnight, Joan.” Dante watched her leave when a sudden thought came to him. He opened the counter-top door and quickly strode after Joan. “Wait, Joan, I need to spea-” The demon was saying, however, Dante’s vision darkened and he staggered forward as a dizzy spell hit him. He ended up fal
ling forward and landing on his face.

  Joan turned around and was surprised to see that Dante had just collapsed. The Great Demon Duke of Hell had just fainted? No way. Joan’s stomach dropped at the strange sight. What the hell? “Dante!” Joan hurried to Dante’s side and knelt down besides him. “What’s wrong?” She put a hand on the demon’s shoulder.

  Dante struggled to remain conscious. “N-Nothing.” He tried to push himself up off the floor but he discovered that he lacked the energy. What the hell was wrong with him?

  Rumble, rumble.

  That’s when Dante’s stomach rumbled loudly and Joan’s eyes widened knowingly. “Don’t tell me…you’re hungry? When’s the last time you ate?”

  Dante thought about it…the last time he ate was the dinner Fred and the others had cooked for him. “Two days ago…?”

  “You idiot.” Joan bonked Dante on the head lightly. “You need to eat. Everyone needs to eat, Dante, in order to keep up their strength and energy, even you. Humans, er, everyone needs to eat at least three meals a day: breakfast, lunch and dinner.” Joan explained, hoping she wasn’t like being totally obvious.

  This human body is such high maintenance. Dante thought despairingly. His demonic body could easily function for several months without food.

  Joan reached down and put Dante’s arm over her shoulders and helped him to stand. She helped Dante over to a booth and helped him to take a seat. “Just stay here and rest. I’ll cook you something.”

  Dante blinked at Joan in surprise. This human female was being surprisingly nice to him. “Much obliged.” The demon watched Joan head to the kitchen and waited patiently for her to cook him something.

  Twenty minutes later, Joan returned with a steaming plate of chicken and vegetable stir fry over white rice. She set the plate of food down in front of Dante. It looked delicious. Joan set a fork and knife down on either side of the plate of food before taking a seat across from Dante in the booth. She propped her chin in one hand and looked at Dante expectantly with a smile on her face. “I hope you like it.”

  Dante picked up the fork, scooped up some chicken and rice, and plopped it into his mouth. He chewed and swallowed with a blank look on his face.

  “Well?” Joan asked with a hopeful note to her voice.

  Awful. It was utterly disgusting! Dante’s eyes teared up from the revolting taste. Did humans really eat food that tasted like this? This definitely rivaled some of Hell’s most dangerous dishes made with water from the Phlegethon River. Lucifer himself would probably have a hard time consuming this sinister concoction. What had she done to it? Dante wondered. Was Joan trying to poison him? Had she figured out that he wasn’t human but a demon?

  Dante looked up and met Joan’s eyes. She didn’t look like she was trying to poison him, which could only mean that this human female simply failed at cooking. He was about to open his mouth and tell her so when something held him back. Joan had apparently worked hard and done her best to cook for him. And as inexplicable as it was, Dante found that he didn’t want to hurt the female’s feelings by admitting how awful her cooking was.

  “It’s good.” Dante replied as he began to shovel the chicken stir fry into his mouth at a fast pace. He was a Great Duke of Hell. He could handle this torture, this challenge. This was nothing.

  Joan let out a breath of relief. “Phew, I’m glad you like it.” A smug expression came to her face. “And my friend Kim says I can’t cook! Ha! Take that Kim. I have been practicing my butt off. Maybe I got better?”

  Dante nodded in agreement as his eyes teared, his face turned green, and his stomach twisted. “Indeed.”

  “What did you want to talk to me about?” Joan finally asked once Dante had finished eating.

  Dante put his fork down and his expression turned serious. “I wish to know how to resolve a certain issue…nonviolently. For example, what measures are usually taken to prevent thievery from a place like this?”

  “Thievery? Well…” Joan looked around the pub. “Usually places like this have security cameras to discourage employees from stealing. I’m surprised Alan hasn’t installed any cameras actually.” She shrugged. “But then again…Alan is awfully trusting.”

  “Security cameras.” Dante repeated slowly. He would find out what these ‘security cameras’ were immediately. He was tempted to ask Joan about them but thought it would look suspicious.

  Joan realized that Dante was probably wondering what the hell a security camera was. She decided to oblige him. “Security cameras are really useful because they capture images of people secretly that can be watched at a later time.”

  Dante stroked his chin. “I see. How useful.” Images of people captured by an object…much like the images one can see in a crystal ball or scrying pool in Hell. Except this device could capture those images and play them at a later time. Fascinating. “Alan is too trusting.”

  Joan gave Dante a sharp look. “Are you implying that someone is stealing from Alan?”

  A scowl formed on Dante’s face. “Until I have concrete evidence I will accuse no one. Alan needs to discover the truth on his own.”

  Stubborn demon. Joan couldn’t help but be surprised that it appeared that Dante wanted to help Alan. Joan looked down at her watch. It was twelve thirty-five. If she stayed any longer Michael would be worried. Joan stood up from the booth. “I have to go…my dog is at home waiting for me.” She explained.

  “Dog?” Dante echoed. Why did that sound familiar?

  “Night, Dante.” Joan said casually as she left.

  “Goodnight, Joan.” Dante called after her, a pensive look on his face.

  “So…you got to try Joan’s home cooking. I’m envious.” Alan said in a singsong voice as he slid in across from Dante at the booth. The demon was still focused on Joan’s departing figure. A knowing smile curled Alan’s lips. Alan reached over, picked up the fork, and scooped up some of the chicken stir fry before putting it into his mouth.

  Alan’s eyes bulged. He picked up a napkin and spit the food out into it. “Oh my God! Yuck! What did Joan do to that poor chicken stir fry?”

  Dante finally turned his attention to his young boss who was currently spitting Joan’s stir fry out into a napkin like a sissy boy. Heh. He couldn’t handle the hellish cuisine but Dante could.

  That’s when Dante put a hand over his mouth. He was suddenly feeling sick. Dante quickly stood up from the booth and ran for the men’s bathroom. Dante entered the men’s bathroom, ran over to one of the stalls, flung the door open, and crouched down in front of the toilet before puking his guts out. Ugh.

  Alan entered the bathroom, went over to Dante, and patted his back just like he’d done earlier to Kim. “You were very brave to eat Joan’s cooking even though it tasted horrible. You didn’t want to hurt her feelings, did you? And that’s why you didn’t tell her the truth about how it tasted, right?”

  Hurt her feelings? Since when did he care about a human female’s feelings? Dante mused. Was that really why he hadn’t told Joan the truth? But why would he care about Joan’s feelings? He barely knew her. And it wasn’t like her pale green eyes and great legs had captivated him from the very beginning or anything like that.

  Alan stood up. “It’s still unhealthy to go home on an empty stomach. I’ll make you some porridge. It should be easy on your stomach.” The pub owner offered as he left the bathroom.

  Unfortunately, Dante was unable to tell Alan that the last thing on his mind was food since he was still too busy puking his guts out. Once he finished throwing up, he stood, and went over to the sink to rinse his mouth out. He exited the bathroom, and spotted Alan sitting at one of the booths with a bowl in front of him. Dante walked over and took a seat in front of Alan. Alan slid the bowl of porridge in Dante’s direction. It already had a spoon in it.

  Dante looked down at the bowl of porridge skeptically. The white mixture had a swirl of honey, yogurt and nuts.

  Alan chuckled at Dante’s
wary expression. “It’ll taste good. I promise. I tried it myself to make sure. And since I was in the kitchen I was able to discover why Joan’s cooking had tasted so horrible.”

  Dante’s eyebrows raised and he gave Alan an interested look. “Oh? Do tell.”

  “Joan had apparently added crushed vitamins and powdered protein to the stir fry. I saw the plastic jar of powdered protein open and noticed a few crushed vitamins since Joan forgot to clean up after herself. I guess Joan is a bit of a health nut.” Alan smiled in amusement.

  Dante’s lip twitched at this discovery. “I see.” A dangerous woman in the kitchen indeed. He picked up the spoon, spooned himself a bit of porridge, put it into his mouth, chewed and swallowed. His eyes widened in surprise. It was really good. Dante took another bite and another. Before he realized it he’d finished the entire bowl of porridge and his stomach felt more settled. Dante looked up at Alan. “That was really good, Boss. You know how to cook?”

  Alan nodded. “My old man taught me. I love cooking but Ivan doesn’t let me into the kitchen. My older brother George never let me cook either.” He pouted. “Ivan says I’m incompetent in the kitchen.” Alan shrugged. “I can’t really disagree with the Head Chef since without him I’d be kind of screwed.”

  Dante gave Alan a thoughtful look. “I think if you were in the kitchen this place would improve, not suffer.”

  Alan laughed in a self-deprecating manner. “That’s nice of you to say.”

  Nice? Was Dante trying to be nice? No. He was merely telling the truth. “It’s the truth. Boss…by the way…why don’t you have ‘security cameras’ here?”

  Alan blinked at Dante, surprised by the random question. “Because I trust all of you.”

  Dante sighed. He figured it was a reason like that. “But what if there’s an armed robbery here or some such incident. You don’t think you could benefit from these ‘security cameras’?”

  Alan thought about it. “Well, if you think it would be a good idea to have them installed then…I’ll do it. I’ll have them installed early tomorrow morning before we open. That sound good?” The young pub owner couldn’t help the thought that flitted through his mind - that Dante was acting kind of like an older brother to him. Dante was acting how he wished George had acted when he’d still been alive.

  Dante nodded and smiled. “Don’t tell the others you have installed the security cameras. They need not know.”

  Alan gave Dante a perplexed look but ultimately agreed. “Alright. I trust your judgment, Dante.”

  ***

  That night, Dante slept like a rock. His body had never felt so…tired before. The next morning, he awoke and made sure to consume ‘breakfast’ like Joan had advised him so that his body would not become weak again and lose energy. It was bothersome, but necessary.

  Dante walked to work and observed the ‘human carriages’ or rather ‘cars’, he reminded himself, speeding past him. He decided that he’d like to have a car. Back in Hell Dante had a dragon of his very own to ride - the strongest of its kind. A black dragon. Here he’d been reduced to going to places on foot, like a commoner. He wondered how much a car cost and decided he’d look into it.

  Dante arrived at a crosswalk and waited for the signal to change. His first experience with the crosswalks had been on All Hollow’s Night. That nun and her dog had saved him from getting run over by a car. Dante tried to remember the young woman’s face. It had been dark out but…for some reason he was picturing Joan’s face. Joan? Dante thought and shook his head. No…that young woman hadn’t been Joan. Joan was a waitress not a nun. Although now that Dante thought about it that nun was probably not a real nun after all since all of the humans had been dressed in costume that night.

  Dante crossed the street and continued his way to Dullahan’s Irish Pub. The exterior needed to be repainted, and the sign also needed to be redone. He decided that he would speak to Alan about this endeavor later. Dante had never done much manual labor before, but he felt confident he could handle something as easy as painting.

  It was eight o’clock on the dot as Dante strolled into Dullahan’s Irish Pub and the bell above the door jingled. Surprisingly, Franky was already behind the bar, but from the looks of it he was just fooling around on his laptop. The human who invented the ‘Internet’ and ‘laptops’ had no respect for ‘work productivity’ apparently. The demon mused.

  Thanks to Fred, Dante now owned his very own laptop, which he kept back at his apartment and used for researching this era. He even knew how to ‘surf the web’. Dante had read up on the present state of the economy in America and saw that they were coming out of a recession. If the humans weren’t wasting all of their time on facebook, twitter, and the Internet, Dante was sure that the economy would be recovering much faster. But he was a demon, so what did he know?

  Dante looked around the pub for any sign of Joan, but Jenny was suddenly standing in front of him and batting her eyelashes at him. “Good morning, Dante.” Jenny cooed.

  “Good morning, Jenny.” Dante drawled as he raised an eyebrow at the waitress wondering just what she was up to now.

  Jenny crossed her arms below her chest and pushed them up to increase her cleavage. Dante ignored her flirtatious actions, looked around, and finally spotted Joan wiping down the tables. A small smile formed on his lips at the sight of the tomboyish waitress. Today, Joan was wearing a pair of tight, black leather pants that looked amazing on her shapely legs. Dante thought that those pants were probably sexier than if Joan had chosen to wear a skirt. He had a new appreciation for women wearing pants all of a sudden. Joan was also wearing the same dark green tank top that had the words ‘Dullahan’s Irish Pub’ on it in swirly black letters that she’d had on yesterday, and her usual boots. She was slightly bent over as she cleaned the table giving Dante a nice view of her tight butt. The demon’s mouth had gone dry. Joan has killer legs.

  Jenny followed Dante’s line of sight and huffed. “Hmph!” What does he see in that flat-chested little witch?

  Dante strode over to greet Joan. He cleared his throat so he wouldn’t startle her. “Ahem. Good morning, Joan.”

  Joan turned around and looked at Dante in surprise. “Oh…good morning, Dante.”

  Dante surreptitiously looked around the pub while he pretended his attention was still on Joan. He spotted the new ‘security cameras’ easily with his keen vision. They were pretty small so he doubted the others would even notice the change. A sly smile curled his lips. Now he just had to wait for Franky, Jenny and Ivan to make a false step and then bam. Nonviolent retribution would be upon them. Dante cackled evilly in his mind. Retribution was such fun.

  In this manner, a new day at Dullahan’s Irish Pub had begun. Dante made his way behind the bar and prepared to receive customers. Hours passed but no one came into the pub. Dante frowned. He suspected that the peeling paint and faded sign didn’t help attract customers very much.

  Dante began to mix a Leprechaun’s Lunch. He poured Bailey’s Irish Cream, crème de menthe, and crème de cacao over ice in a shaker tin, filled it with milk, and stirred.

  “What are you doing, bro?” Franky looked up from his laptop where he’d been looking at pictures of naked women on the Internet.

  “I’m mixing a drink.” Dante said simply. As a human would say ‘duh’.

  Franky rolled his eyes and closed his laptop. “I know that. I’m asking why. We don’t have any customers.”

  “Exactly.” Dante said as he took out a tray and began to put twenty shot glasses on it. He then poured the drink into the shot glasses. “Joan can stand out front and give these drink samples to passersby.”

  Franky snorted. “Do you know how cold it is outside? Joan will never want to-”

  “I don’t mind.” Joan interrupted Franky, as she skipped over to the bar and looked down at the drink samples curiously. “I think this is a good idea. And I like to work. I don’t like just standing around and being idle.” Joan gave Jenny a p
oignant look. The other waitress was currently doing her nails.

  Jenny looked up from doing her nails and huffed. Her black nails were now zebra stripped with white streaks. “If you want to go outside and freeze your butt off that’s your business.”

  “Don’t swear.” Joan murmured. “Are the samples ready?” She asked Dante.

  Dante nodded and gave Joan a concerned look. “I didn’t take the weather into consideration. I could go outside instead.”

  Joan waved Dante off. “Don’t be silly. You need to be in here. These are your drinks that people will want to order the full version of. A little cold can’t keep me down!”

  Dante’s lip twitched. The girl had spunk. He had to give her that.

  Joan put on her jacket, picked up the tray, and went outside to see if anyone was passing by that she could give a free drink sample to. It didn’t take long before Joan was handing out free drink samples and attracting customers to Dullahan’s Irish Pub once again. The drink that Dante had prepared was apparently really good. Joan smiled. She felt proud of Dante for some reason. His hard work, practicing, and all of his studying how to mix different drinks was really paying off. As Alan said Dante seemed to have a natural talent as a bartender.

  Dante also looked extremely handsome in his new bartending outfit that Alan had apparently made by hand. It consisted of a white, button-down shirt, black leather vest, a purple bowtie, and a pair of black silk pants. The bowtie would have been effeminate on anyone else other than Dante but he was able to pull it off while maintaining his masculinity.

  Joan continued to attract customers, who entered the pub, and had Dante make them the full version of the drink they’d sampled outside. A few also ordered food. Dullahan’s began to rake in the dough. Franky and Jenny shared a secretive smile as things really began to pick up.

  Joan reentered the pub once it was full, and began to help Jenny with taking people’s orders. Alan entered the main restaurant area and began to greet customers and ask them if everything was all right. The customers seemed to be charmed by Alan’s good looks and kind demeanor. The customers were also surprised to discover that such a charming, young man was the new owner of the pub too.

  Three young women who were seated at the bar asked Dante to give them three shots of something really strong and of something he thought they would enjoy. “Alright ladies.” Dante obliged, and pulled a bottle of hot pink liqueur down from the shelf. He’d tried it yesterday, and had been intrigued by its label, which read: “Sweet Revenge - wild strawberry ‘sour mash’”. It was sweet, and fruity but 77 proof!

  He’d learned a flair bartending technique and was excited to try it out on the patrons. It was a pouring technique to pour the three shooters at the same time. Dante set out three low glasses on the bar first. Then Dante got out four shaker tins to mix the drinks in. Dante lined the four shaker tins along the bar. He knew that he would only need three, but the forth tin was going to be used as a strainer.

  First, Dante added the same amount of ice to the three tins, and then grabbed the bottle of Sweet Revenge before turning it upside down, and pouring a shot’s worth into each shaker tin one at a time. Dante gave the liqueur a minute to chill. After that Dante began to stack the shaker tins all together, one on top of the other, and Dante placed the forth empty shaker tin inside of the third shaker tin because it was going to act as a strainer and hold the ice back that was in the other tins.

  Dante held the four tins up in front of him in his hands and made a ‘smiley face’ with them. Basically, he was holding the shakers horizontally and began to tilt the shakers to his right, so that the Sweet Revenge began to pour out of the first shaker, then the second and lastly the third as Dante increased the angle he was holding the shakers. In this manner, Dante poured the three shots at one time with a little bit of flair.

  The three young ladies were definitely impressed and clapped loudly in response. They picked up their shots, gulped them back in one go and instantly began to gush and make comments about the sweet but incredibly strong shot Dante had served them.

  Show off. Franky was glaring at Dante out of the corner of his eye.

  All in all, it was another successful day at Dullahan’s. However, Dante knew that Franky and Jenny were up to something. They’d been sharing secretive glances all day. Midnight finally rolled around, but Jenny and Franky stayed behind and waited for Dante, Joan, and Ivan to leave the pub, and for Alan to go to bed, before they made their move.

  What the couple didn’t know is that Dante only pretended to leave. After he made it to the end of the block he walked back to Dullahan’s and snuck inside. The pub was quiet and pitch-black. Dante knew Alan was probably asleep upstairs. That’s when Dante heard ‘voices’ and followed them to Alan’s office, which was locked. Dante used his keen demon hearing to hear the conversation that was going on within. He also heard the unmistakable sound of a safe being opened. “Oooo look at all that money. It’s been a while since this place had anything worth stealing!” Jenny’s voice.

  “Shhh! Keep your voice down, babe. We’ll take half. Poor Alan, he never notices that we’re stealing from him. He’s way too trusting.” Franky chuckled as he took out half the money that was in the safe before splitting it with Jenny.

  Jenny let out a disappointed sigh as she counted her share. “I really need more than this. You know how much it costs to get a pedicure these days? Forty bucks! When are you going to put our plan into action?”

  Franky let out a frustrated noise. “We were supposed to threaten, oops, I mean ‘convince’ Alan to change his will so that this place would belong to us in the event of his death. After that, we would have killed the naïve, weak, fool, but…now that that bartender and waitress have shown up, I dunno. They’ve thrown a wrench into our plans. We won’t be able to get rid of Alan so easily.”

  Dante’s eyes widened. This was even worse than he’d thought. Franky and Jenny were not only stealing from Alan, but were planning to trick Alan into leaving them the pub in his will, only to kill him off afterwards. Those lowly humans. So this was how they repaid Alan’s kindness and trust? They were like demons in human skin. The irony of that thought was of course not lost on Dantalion.

  “But sweetie, I’m sick of looking at his pathetic face.” Jenny complained and twirled a strand of her dark hair around her finger. “He would have been so easy to kill if it weren’t for Dante and Joan. Crap.”

  “We could just kill him right now.” Franky suggested and a cruel smile twisted his lips. “I bet he’s asleep right now.”

  Jenny rolled her eyes at her punky lover. “Then we’d get nothing, stupid. This place is still in his name. What if we try to recruit Dante and Joan? Maybe they’d join forces with us. Everyone has a price.”

  “I dunno.” Franky scowled. “They seem to like Alan a lot for some unfathomable reason. I don’t get why anyone would like that wimpy little coward. He’s such a waste of the Earth’s oxygen.”

  No, that’s you Franky. Dante shot back venomously in his mind.

  “I know. Can you believe at his age he’s never had a girlfriend? And he’s still a virgin. Talk about pathetic.” Jenny jeered and cackled loudly.

  Franky chuckled maliciously in response. “Maybe you could do him a favor before we kill him and help him to get rid of his pesky virginity, babe?”

  “Maybe. I doubt he’d be able to satisfy me like you do, Franky.” She purred, hopped up onto the desk, and crooked her finger at Franky in a bold manner.

  “Dang, you look sexy.” Franky licked his lips. His footsteps could be heard as he approached Jenny.

  “Mmm!” Jenny moaned as Franky smashed his lips into hers and they began to make out passionately. Their grunts and moans rose in volume as their kissing became more intense.

  Dante pulled his ear back, and his lip curled in disgust. Those filthy humans were practically mating on Alan’s desk by the sound of it. Dante had to use all of his willpower not to go up those
stairs and wake Alan up right then and there so that he could show him just what Jenny and Franky were up to at that very moment.

  But Dante also knew that if he actually witnessed what those demons in human skin were doing - actually saw it with his own two eyes - that he wouldn’t be able to hold himself back and would probably kill Franky and Jenny on the spot. That’s why Dante turned around and headed for the main restaurant area instead. He took a seat in a booth. There was an unfortunate fork that was sitting on the table. Dante picked it up and bent it into a pretzel. When Franky and Jenny left the pub an hour later they didn’t even notice Dante, who was sitting silently in one of the booths watching them with golden eyes filled with hate. No one messes with my Boss.

  ***

  Early the next morning, Alan woke up, took a quick shower, brushed his teeth, and got dressed for the day in a Dullahan’s dark green t-shirt and a pair of black jeans. He’d designed the Dullahan’s Irish Pub t-shirts and tank tops, and had always wanted to update the pub’s logo, but his brother had never let him. Well, now that his brother George was dead, Alan supposed there wasn’t really anyone stopping him from making a new logo for the pub. The new logo would feature a drawing of the headless horsewoman that haunted Alan’s dreams, or perhaps he should say nightmares.

  Alan yawned widely as he made his way down the steps that led into the restaurant. He yawned again as he headed towards the bar. He needed to make himself a cup of coffee. He was an absolute zombie without his morning coffee.

  That’s when something caught his attention out of the corner of his eye. Alan turned and spotted Dante sitting in one of the booths silently. The dark-haired man was just sitting there and staring off into space, apparently lost in thought.

  Alan was so startled to see another ‘person’ there at that ungodly hour that he screamed (like a little girl). He was probably never going to live that one down.

  Dante looked up and caught sight of his frightened boss. “Ah, Boss, you’re finally awake.”

  Alan put his hand over his hammering heart and took deep breaths as he tried to calm himself down. It was only Dante. Phew. “D-Dante…what are you doing here at this hour?”

  Dante stood up and headed for the bar. “Allow me to make you some coffee, Boss.”

  Alan pouted at being ignored, sighed, and rubbed his temples. He was used to people not really listening to him or downright ignoring him. “Oh, alright, sure. Thanks.”

  Dante opened counter-top door and got behind the bar. He began to skillfully prepare Alan a cup of coffee. Alan took a seat at the bar and watched as Dante prepared him a cup of coffee. Before Dante’s arrival making a cup of coffee was simply putting two scoops of coffee, and one cup of water into his automatic coffee maker and pressing a button.

  But now…making a cup of coffee was no longer such a simple affair. Dante had somehow managed to find the Bodum Vacuum Coffee Maker that Alan forgot they even owned. The vacuum coffee maker consisted of two glass globes, a filter, and a stand. The bottom globe was where you would put the water, and the top globe was where you put the coffee. Dante had also found a coffee grinder Alan didn’t know he had and began to grind some coffee (giving it a coarse grind).

  Dante recalled the instructions he’d read in a book and noted that for seven hundred and fifty milliliters of water he should use thirty grams of coffee. That was ten grams of coffee per two hundred and fifty milliliters, or one cup of coffee.

  Dante filled the bottom globe with seven hundred and fifty milliliters of water, placed it on the stove, and turned the flame on high. He placed the second globe on top and added the thirty grams of coffee. He placed the lid on the top of the globe and waited. The water began to boil and began to pass through the filter and into the second globe.

  Dante recalled the instructions he’d read word for word and reread them in his mind: ‘The device’s working principle is based on expansion and contraction of a gas (water vapor). The bottom globe is heated up, which creates the water vapor. The vapor pushes the water up the tube and through the filter to the upper globe. This process takes about seven minutes. Once the top globe is full you turn off the heat. What goes up must come down. The vapor in the lower chamber cools down and contracts. That creates a vacuum and the suction pulls the liquid back down to the bottom globe.’

  Once the top globe was full, Dante turned off the flame and moved the coffee maker to a cool burner. Then the coffee began to drip down and fill the bottom globe. Dante waited forty seconds. The entire process took less than ten minutes. Dante removed the top globe and tube, and put the tube into a plastic stand that had been made for that purpose.

  In minutes, Dante was setting the perfect cup of coffee down in front of Alan. The coffee was sweet and had no sediment. Alan blinked as he looked down at the four-leaf clover design in the milk foam. Wow. Alan wrapped his cold fingers around the warm coffee cup and sighed with contentment as he took a whiff of the coffee’s rich aroma. Alan picked up the cup, blew on it, and took a sip. “Mmm…that’s nice. Sweet.” Alan looked up and gave Dante an expectant look. “So are you going to tell me why you’re here so early in the morning?”

  “You should finish your coffee first, Boss.” Dante advised in a dour tone.

  Alan frowned as he noticed Dante’s sudden seriousness. “Huh…well, why don’t you join me then?”

  Dante blinked. He looked at the coffee Alan was drinking. He didn’t really understand the humans’ fascination for coffee. But he’d seen plenty of humans especially in this particular era go crazy for their cup of coffee in the morning. What’s so great about the beverage anyways? Dante shrugged and prepared himself a cup of coffee. He took a sip and his eyes widened. There was something about the hot beverage that seemed to make his human senses come more alive. Maybe in order to appreciate the greatness of coffee one had to have a human body.

  Alan laughed at the expression of wonderment on Dante’s face. “Amen. There’s no way to start the day than with a nice cup of coffee.”

  “Most certainly.” Dante agreed with a nod.

  The two men drank their coffees in silence until Alan finally finished. Dante opened the counter-top door, and began to head towards Alan’s office. “Come with me, Boss.”

  “Ah, wait up!” Alan called as he hopped off the barstool and followed after Dante.

  Dante entered the office and waited for Alan to follow him inside. “Boss, I want you to watch the footage that was captured inside of your office from last night around one o’clock AM.” Dante instructed coolly.

  Alan frowned and gave Dante a questioning look. “Why?”

  “Just do it, Boss.” Dante crossed his arms over his chest and gave Alan an expectant look. He wasn’t going to be taking ‘no’ for an answer. Alan needed to learn the truth.

  “Okay.” Alan moved to take a seat behind his desk and opened his laptop. He brought up the security footage that had been taken inside of his office around one o’clock in the morning. Alan clicked on the video and it began to play. At first, nothing was happening until Alan watched as Franky and Jenny entered his office. Alan watched as the couple made their way over to his safe and opened it. The young pub owner watched them steal from him. He also listened to all of their cruel insults that were like daggers being flung at his heart.

  But it only got worse as Alan continued to listen to the couple, and discovered their plan of convincing him to leave the pub to Franky or Jenny in his will, and then to kill him off. They actually wanted to kill him. They wanted him dead. They hated him. Alan probably would have been able to forgive them for stealing from him. He would have happily given them a second chance even. But murder? They had crossed the line.

  Alan scrubbed a hand down his face. He felt dizzy, and his mind was spinning. He didn’t want to believe it. They actually want to kill me. They want me dead. Do they really hate me that much? I thought they liked me…I’m such an idiot. Alan gripped his stomach next. It was tying itself into knots. He felt quea
sy, sick all of a sudden, and raised his hand over his mouth as he gagged. Alan couldn’t decide if he wanted to throw up or pass out.

  At this point in the video, Jenny and Franky were making out fervidly on his desk.

  That did it. Alan grabbed the plastic trashcan that was sitting next to his desk and began to throw up into it.

  Dante frowned at the sight. Alan was a mess. The young man was taking things even worse than he thought he would. It made him want to torture and then kill Franky and Jenny for hurting an innocent, trusting soul like Alan. Dante didn’t know what it was about the young man but he brought out Dante’s protective instincts.

  Alan began to dry heave and tears sprung to his eyes. He’d trusted Franky and Jenny. He’d considered them family and yet they’d betrayed him.

  Dante couldn’t explain why he did it, but he went to Alan’s side and patted his back. If those under his command back in Hell could see him now they’d probably try to overthrow him, gain control of his legions, and all of his assets. But there was something strangely familiar about Alan. It was like Dante already knew Alan from somewhere. This was impossible, of course, but this strange feeling of déjà vu would not leave Dante.

  Alan almost reminded him off…no, Dante shook his head. There was no way. There couldn’t possibly be a connection between Alan and Dante’s former master, Solomon, right?

  Alan gave Dante a sad look. “Maybe this is all my fault. Maybe…I’m just not cut out to be anyone’s boss.”

  “You’re wrong.” Dante countered. “A good boss makes his men realize they have more ability than they think they have so that they consistently do better work than they thought they could. You believed I could be a great bartender and so I am. Without you…I would still be a dream and not a reality.”

  “Dante.” Alan was all choked up. “Thank you. For opening my eyes.”

  “Anytime.” Dante nodded. “What do you plan to do now, Boss? Turn them into the police?” Or perhaps you will order me to kill them. Frankly, I’m hoping for option B. It would be much more fun.

  Alan shook his head. “No. But I know what I must do.” A steely look formed in his blue eyes. Alan waited impatiently for the others to arrive at Dullahan’s before he approached everyone and cleared his throat. “Ahem. I have something to say to all of you so please gather ‘round.”

  Franky was behind the bar on his laptop while on facebook, busy checking his new messages, and his friends’ status updates, so frowned. “Hey Alan, can’t you see I’m busy?”

  Jenny was gluing tiny rhinestones to her nails that already had the finished zebra striped pattern. “Yea, we’re busy, Alan. You can talk to us all later.”

  Alan frowned and clenched his hands into fists at his sides. “N-No I need to speak to all of you right now.” He raised his voice so that it had a firm edge.

  Joan immediately stopped polishing the silverware, and walked over to Alan. Dante opened the bar counter-top door, and held it open for Franky while giving the senior bartender an expectant look.

  “Tch.” Franky made a disgruntled noise as he exited out from behind the bar.

  “Ivan! Get out here too!” Alan called in the loudest voice anyone had ever heard him use yet.

  “What? I’m busy!” Ivan started to object.

  “NOW!” Alan shouted. He was trembling slightly, and red-faced.

  “Whoa. What’s got his panties in a twist? Coming! Geesh.” Ivan called out, grumbling all the while.

  In minutes, everyone was gathered around Alan and waiting to hear what he had to say. Alan looked at Franky and Jenny with a sad, disappointed look on his face. “Before I begin…Franky, Jenny, is there anything you’d like to tell me?”

  Franky and Jenny exchanged a questioning look before they both shrugged. “Like what boss-man?” Jenny asked in a sassy manner.

  “Is there anything you’d perhaps like to apologize for?” Alan prodded.

  “Apologize?” Franky growled, approached Alan, and grabbed the collar of Alan’s t-shirt before bringing him close, eye to eye. “Are you accusing us of something, you little twerp?”

  Dante started forward but Joan put a hand on Dante’s arm to stop him. Dante turned to give Joan a questioning look but she shook her head at him.

  Alan met Franky’s fierce gaze. “Yes.”

  Franky’s jaw dropped. The cowardly little twerp was actually standing up to him? He couldn’t believe it. What the hell? Why…? He looked over Alan’s shoulder and saw a livid looking Dante. Ah, now that Alan has a guard dog he’s suddenly acting like he has guts. Ha! Screw that! He was so pissed.

  Jenny on the other hand was looking extremely nervous. Her eyes kept darting to the exit as if she were contemplating on whether or not she should just make a break for it.

  “You guys have been stealing from me,” Alan began in a hurt tone.

  “What? That’s ridiculous!” Jenny burst out, looking offended. “Why would we steal from you? We’re practically family, Alan.” Her tone was chiding. “If-If anyone’s robbed you it must be one of them!” Jenny pointed an accusing finger at Dante and Joan.

  Dante’s eyes narrowed at Jenny dangerously and this caused her to suck in a breath. Suddenly, Dante looked rather terrifying.

  Joan just rolled her eyes and gave Jenny a skeptical look. “As if, I’d never steal something.” It’s a sin after all. Michael would have my head! But that doesn’t mean I’m a White Dove either unfortunately…

  Alan let out a heavy sigh. “Wait here.” The pub owner went to his office, grabbed his laptop, and brought it with him as he returned to the main restaurant area. Alan made his way over to the bar and set the laptop down on the bar counter. He opened his laptop, turned it on, and brought up the security camera footage. “I had a security company put in some hidden cameras in my office and I caught Jenny and Franky stealing from me.” Alan explained as he clicked on the video and it began to play.

  Jenny looked outraged and her nails were digging into her palms. “What? You can’t do that! It’s illegal to put hidden cameras in an establishment without telling your employees first! We could sue you!”

  Alan gave Jenny a sad, broken look. “Illegal? I wonder if plotting someone’s murder would be considered a crime?”

  Jenny sucked in a breath. “W-What?”

  The video began to get to the part where Jenny and Franky discussed their plan to convince Alan to leave the pub to them in his will and that afterwards they would kill him.

  Joan gasped and raised a hand in front of her mouth. Those jerks! How dare they plot to kill Alan! “You conniving bi- er, skank!” Joan stalked towards Jenny and grabbed her by the front of her shirt. “How dare you take advantage of Alan’s kindness!” She balled her right hand into a fist and raised it threateningly at Jenny.

  Jenny’s eyes went wide before a sly smile curled her lips. “What’s this? Are you actually going to punch me, Joan? That would be assault, you know? I know you think that I’m the low class one, but…I’m not the one resorting to violence now am I? I have more class than you! You’re just a poser, Joan. I can tell…this whole goody two-shoes persona of yours - it’s just an act. I know what you’re really like. Hey, boss, did you do a background check on this witch? I bet she has a skeleton or two in her closet!”

  Joan flinched, and the blood slowly began to drain from her face. She did in fact have a skeleton or two in her closet.

  Dante was giving Joan a curious look as she let go of her hold on Jenny. What secrets could such an innocent human female possibly have in her past? He wondered.

  “That’s it…I’m calling the cops.” Joan said as she stalked over to the phone at the bar and picked it up, ready to dial 911, or better yet the phone number for Detective Dekker.

  “You’re going to turn us into the cops?” Franky snarled. “You ungrateful little twerp.”

  Alan put his hands over Franky’s. “No, I’m not. Joan, don’t call the cops.”

  Joan shot
Alan a look of disbelief. “W-What? You can’t be serious. They wanted to kill you!”

  “I know. And I’ll never forgive them. I loved them like family.” Alan spun to face Franky and Jenny. “In fact, Franky, Jenny, truth is…I already put the pub in your names. If anything had happened to me you guys would have gotten it.”

  “What?” Franky let go of Alan and staggered backwards in shock.

  “I’m going to have to change that now of course. I’m very disappointed in you guys. Just know that the one you screwed over with all this was yourselves. Letting you guys go while knowing the big mistake you both made is punishment enough, I think. Jenny, Franky, you’re fired.” That said Alan put his back to them since he was unable to look upon their faces any longer.

  Jenny was giving Alan a shocked look. “A-Alan, wait, you can’t…I’m sorry. I take it all back! It was all Franky’s idea!”

  “What was that woman?” Franky whirled on his lover. “Don’t you dare try to blame this one on me, witch!” Spit was flying from the bartender’s mouth. “You wanted him dead just as much as I did!” Franky bellowed, reached out, and grabbed the back of Alan’s shirt before spinning him around. He then began to choke Alan with his shirt collar. “You can’t do this to us! You can’t fire us!”

  Alan began to choke as his t-shirt was twisted tightly around his neck. He tried to pry Franky’s hands off of him but he was too strong. “F-Franky!”

  In the blink of an eye, Dante was at Alan’s side, pulling Franky off of him, and sending him flying across the floor towards the exit door. The large man landed with a heavy thud on the floor. Franky stood up, blood boiling, livid, and his eyes were blazing. “You can’t treat me like this! This is my pub! Mine!” The bartender growled as he stalked towards Alan menacingly.

  Alan took a step back out of fear.

  But Dante appeared in front of Alan again and cracked his knuckles at Franky. “Boss, would you like me to evict this ruffian from the premises in a nonviolent manner?”

  Alan blinked. “Uh…yea.”

  Dante approached Franky, grabbed him by the back of his shirt, and lifted him right up off the floor. “Ack! Let go of me, you prissy boy freak!” Franky growled.

  Dante ignored the insult, carried Franky towards the exit, opened the door, and simply tossed him outside before closing the door behind him.

  What everyone didn’t see was that Dante had tossed Franky clear across the street and the bartender had landed on the roof of a parked car.

  There was a loud ominous crunch that came from outside, however. “Franky!” Jenny cried out in concern as she ran for the exit and flung the door open. She gasped and raised a hand in front of her mouth. “Oh my God…how…?”

  Joan strode over to stand next to Jenny, and peered out the doorway and across the street where she saw Franky’s unconscious body on the roof of a crumpled car. “Glad I didn’t park across the street.” But a second later, Joan smacked a hand to her head and groaned. That stupid demon! Talk about overkill. He’ll be discovered if he keeps up crap like this!

  “Franky!” Jenny screeched and ran out into the street.

  “What happened?” Alan asked as he approached Joan.

  Joan quickly shut the door, put her back to it in order to block Alan, and began to laugh nervously. “N-Nothing, Boss. Franky is so pathetic he just fainted.”

  Alan furrowed his brow at Joan. “Oh, I see.” He sighed. “Well, it looks like Dullahan’s is down to one waitress and one bartender again. I’ll have to put up the Help Wanted sign again.”

  “Hey, don’t worry about it, Boss!” Joan whacked Alan’s back nearly causing him to fall over. “You still have all of us!” Joan waved her hand at Dante and Ivan.

  “Joan’s right.” Ivan said smoothly as he approached Alan and ruffled Alan’s hair. “You have us, kid.” A slimy smiled curled his lips. Phew…looks like I wasn’t caught yet. But this is probably my last night here.

  The German chef looked at Joan out of the corner of his eyes. If I’m going to be leaving this place…I want to get a taste of her first. An evil plan began to form in Ivan’s mind.

  To be continued…in Drink 6: Adios Mama’s Boy

  Dantalion: “Greetings lowly human, so you wish to know how to make a Leprechaun’s Lunch? Pour 1 ounce of Bailey’s Irish Cream, 1 ounce of crème de menthe, and 1 ounce of crème de cacao over two ice cubes in a small highball glass, fill it with milk and stir. Enjoy. Don’t forget to drink responsibly, human. You don’t want to get a ‘DUI’…whatever that is. But many humans fear this and talk about it a lot when they’re out drinking. So beware. Don’t forget that the legal drinking age is 21 and please drink responsibly.”