Didn't I Say to Make My Abilities Average in the Next Life?! Volume 8

by Funa

  The remaining half of the company had been left out on the outskirts of the forest. Naturally, dragging 180 soldiers through the woods would be far too difficult, so they remained on guard at the fringes of the trees, prepared to put up defenses on the off chance that any monsters should escape.

  It was worth noting that these soldiers were not the force of any regional army. It was unlikely that any singular fief would, on their own, harass another country in a blatant act of aggression—and though the injuries sustained each time were few, a small force could not afford to make that kind of strike again and again. Particularly if it was in the name of such a dishonorable act and not for the sake of protecting their homes or country.

  Anyone who died in the name of such a shameful cause would never be welcomed into the gates of Valhalla. Every man, no matter his rank, knew that fact.

  “A counterstrike! All troops in battle formation, about-face! Hurry!!!”

  It was pointless trying to run away from an onslaught of monsters within the forest. They would never make it out in time, and if they were caught from behind, they would be annihilated, without even the chance to resist. Though they were fully aware of the futility of their task, they had no choice but to stand and fight.

  If only they had a scattered enemy with just a few heads each to face.

  If only they were in a more open place with fewer trees.

  However, at this point, there was nothing to gain by wishing for such things. They were facing a horde of monsters in the middle of the forest, where humans were at a disadvantage. There were limits to how much they could move, or swing their swords, and more monsters could pop out at them at any second. Thanks to the sudden nature of the attack, and the direction from whence it came, there was not even time to assume proper battle formation.

  Iris, Teatelia, I’m sorry. Looks like I won’t be coming home…

  The captain drew his own blade and turned to face the enemy horde. Just then—

  “Bwahahahahahaha! I am the goddess, Visibiel!”

  Above the trees, a strange form appeared.

  There she floated, wearing an outfit that, should an Earthling have seen it, would cause them to remark, “Oh, a swimsuit!” Over that, she wore a translucent dress made of light, with ice wings and a halo already formed and attached.

  Indeed, it was her usual look, just with a slight change in wardrobe.

  Incidentally, now that her halo and wings had become more of a staple, she had improvised a few shortcuts. In other words, rather than issuing detailed instructions to the nanomachines each and every time, she now simply commanded them, “Goddess Formation!” and left them to figure out the rest on their own.

  This strange form then thought to herself, I mean, it’s not a lie! Everyone can properly see me, and there’s nothing unclear about my appearance, so it’s fair to say I’m “visible.” I’m telling the truth here!

  It was an assertion on par with, I bought it from a little old lady who only drove it to church on Sundays.

  The two platoons were surrounded by a lattice barrier as the girl, Visibiel, descended from the treetops before them—not without some difficulty. The horde of monsters split around them, as though avoiding the soldiers, and continued running past. Apparently, they were unable to stop themselves in time and formed this pattern to instead put as much distance as possible between themselves and a force that it was clear they should absolutely not be reckoning with.

  “W-we’ve…been saved…?” the captain stammered, but it was still too soon to make such assumptions.

  “You there! Why are you lot disturbing this forest? Depending how you answer, I may not be able to allow you to leave.”

  Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!!!

  All of the soldiers cried out inside their hearts, looking to the captain.

  This peculiar figure was clearly no ordinary person. They had initially been complacent, thinking her to be an ally, since she had referred to herself as goddess and saved them from the horde of monsters. But now, suddenly, she had turned on them. There would be no winning against a devil—nay, a deity. Their only hope now lay in the strength of the captain’s wit.

  “W-w-w-w-we were merely driving these dangerous monsters further into the forest, to ensure the safety of our farmers! They may be monsters, but they too are creatures who have received the blessings of life from Your Greatness! We would never think to do something so heinous as meddle in any innocent lives but for the sake of defending ourselves and feeding our families!”

  It was a splendid reply. After all, the captain had earned his station.

  “Oh, is that so? Then surely you were not, instead, driving those monsters into the neighboring land in order to harass your neighbors? Surely you would never do such a heinous thing!”

  “Th-th-th-th-that is absurd!”

  Sweat dripped down the captain’s brow.

  “Very well, then… Oh?”

  Just then, Mile noticed that one of the soldiers had a limp left arm. Apparently, he had broken a bone while chasing the monsters. The rate of injury may have been much lower on their side than on that of those who had to drive the monsters back, but that did not mean that they escaped entirely without damage.

  She slowly proceeded to the spot where the man stood, white with fear, and ran her hands across his broken arm.

  “Hmm. It seems you’ve already had these bones set, yes? In that case…”

  The soldier’s broken arm began to glow, then at the very next moment—

  “It doesn’t hurt anymore!” cried the man, flabbergasted.

  “It should not. It has been completely healed.”

  “Wh…?”

  The man timidly flexed the limb and then swung it with more force.

  “I-It is healed…”

  Silent, instantaneous healing. Not only of bone, but of muscle, artery, and tendon as well, all fully. Not ever the master mages in the capital or the pontiffs in the greatest of temples could do that.

  Silence unfolded across the company. No one made a sound.

  “Now, I’ll overlook this but once, so don’t you dare cross me again. It would be a shame to have to sink this whole continent beneath the waves, so I suppose I’d have to restrain myself enough to destroy only this land…”

  Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!!!

  The soldiers were shaking like leaves.

  Meanwhile, the Visible Go—er, “Visibiel”—thought to herself: Even if these soldiers believed her, there was no point if their superiors, who would hear this report, did not believe as well. She approached the men, who all immediately went stiff as boards, and drew the sword from one of the soldiers’ scabbards.

  “Take that!”

  She kneaded the blade with her fingers until it was warped into a metal spiral.

  Why didn’t it break?!?! The soldiers were flabbergasted—as well they should have been. The sword should have broken. There was no feasible way for it to take on such a peculiar shape.

  Then she approached the next soldier, and drove holes into his breastplate with her fingertips, as easily as though she were pushing through a rice paper screen.

  Poke. Poke. Poke.

  After opening the three holes with her pointer finger, she plunged all four of her fingers in at once.

  “Eeeeeeeeeeeek!”

  The holes had not gone all the way through to his body, but the soldier still cried out in anguish.

  Finally, she turned to a rock that was a little ways away, pointed her finger at it, and…

  KA-BOOM!

  These men were the royal army, the pride of their country, and yet at this, a number of them simply collapsed on the spot. In truth, the fact that even more of them did not collapse was perhaps a testament to their spirit.

  However, all they had really done was manage to stay on their feet.

  Even those who had not collapsed merely stood there without moving a muscle. They appeared utterly shell-shocked.

  “Go now, and tell of what happened h
ere—tell your countrymen what will become of anyone who defies my will!”

  Mile reversed the gravity beneath her and floated gently up into the air, flying in the direction of the herd, while the men watched, still and silent.

  After another full minute, the soldiers slowly began to return to their senses. If they were to stand stock-still in the middle of the forest, monsters would fall upon them where they stood, and they would be annihilated…normally.

  This time, however, there was no real worry of that. All of the monsters had just run away at full speed.

  Finally, one of the more level-headed soldiers suddenly screamed, “Wait! Crap! All of those monsters are gonna rush right out of the forest! There are villages right outside the forest and towns beyond that! We were supposed to stay here to stop them, but the monsters all went right past us!!!”

  Hoping to calm the men, the captain immediately replied, “It’ll be fine. The other half of our company is waiting outside of the forest, prepared for just such an eventuality. They’ll stop those monsters, I’m sure of it! Even if it means that those men will be wiped out… Our country was the one who started this thing, so we can’t go crying to mama just because the tables have turned. Besides, I’m sure the local troops aren’t out there just playing around. They should have all been making their own preparations while we were busy with our work.

  “By the time that stampede reaches the outskirts of the forest, those monsters should’ve used up most of their energy, and they’ll be separated from one another thanks to their differences in speed. Once separated, they should prove far less of a threat.

  “Still, we need to follow them and participate in the defense, so there’s no time to waste. Not if we want to protect our own men from casualties. Also—none of you need to worry about that goddess. Thinking about her, reporting to the Crown, being questioned, being hanged—no matter what happens, that’s my job!”

  As they looked upon the captain’s weary visage, the slightest bit of composure began to return to the soldiers’ own faces. Sure enough, none of them would have to give the report about the goddess. The only thing that would be expected of them was to have an amusing tale with which to regale their fellow soldiers and the serving maids at taverns. Such was the privilege of the rank and file.

  “All right, let’s get moving! Troops, roll out!”

  Thus, the combined brigade of the two platoons, the mercenaries, and the hunters began their advance.

  Their expressions were dark as they hurried home. Though they had all picked up on the captain’s mood and nodded in agreement, most of the soldiers were aware of the grim truth: It would be impossible for the two platoons on the outskirts of the forest to repel that many monsters. Even after that, the monsters would not stop, and the villages beyond the reserve platoons, and the towns beyond those, would all be…

  Uh-oh, there’s not much of a gap left before the forest ends, is there? At this rate, these monsters are all gonna go flooding out of the trees! Well, it’s better to put the brakes on this before they overrun the villagers…

  Mile, who had been flying ahead of the stampede just in case, was now in a bit of a panic as she realized how close they were getting to the edge of the forest. She was not of the mind to see any innocent civilians suffer as a result of her attempt to punish the soldiers.

  Umm, it seems like there are soldiers on the outskirts of the forest, so I probably don’t have to stop all of them. I still need to make them sweat a little bit… Okay!

  In the forest, it would be imprudent to use powerful fire magic, or any other magic with the chance of causing widespread natural disaster. Furthermore, any heavy-handed means of attack would just cause the monsters and beasts to turn back around again and start stampeding in the opposite direction. With this in mind, Mile, who had now overtaken the herd, turned back to the front of the stampede, began waving her arms, and shouted, “Ball Lightning!”

  Ball lightning. A phenomenon infrequently seen in locations near active thunderstorms, where a bright ball of light streaks through the air near the ground. It is one of the myriad phenomena frequently mistaken for UFOs or the souls of the departed.

  There are numerous cases where humans who have come into contact with such objects, which many theorize are made of naturally occurring plasma, have perished. Additionally, ball lightning vanishes as quickly as it appears, leaving no trace behind it.

  In other words, it was a convenient little trick, one that would run through the air along the ground and dissipate fully into the first thing with which it came into contact without affecting the area around it in the slightest. By regulating its power appropriately, one might guarantee that the thing with which the ball came into contact would not be killed, but rather, stunned or startled into stopping—or at the very least, turning around. By adjusting the numbers here, she should be able to adjust the course of the stampede as well.

  The phenomenon of ball lightning still had yet to be fully and accurately explained even on Earth, but whether or not it actually was plasmatic in nature mattered not. Mile hoped and prayed for “something like that,” and so the nanomachines who received her thoughts brought something like that into existence. She got the result without having to question the process, and that was just fine with her.

  Honestly, she had no intention of slaughtering a bunch of monsters en masse in the first place. There was nothing to be gained from leaving mountains of corpses to rot on the forest floor instead of putting them to some practical use like food or materials. In fact, doing so would upset the local ecosystem. As far as Mile was concerned, this was the only way to safely get everything taken care of.

  Gyek!

  Ga-hwee!

  Gnyarh!!!

  Various cries of terror and anger sounded as some monsters were felled, some collapsed, and some turned around, heading once more into the depths of the forest. Of course, some of them continued on as they were, unmolested, while others refused to change their course. These numbers were, of course, carefully calculated by Mile, who had determined the directions in which her lightning ball would fly.

  “Looks about right.”

  She had culled the monsters’ numbers by a sufficient amount, and those who were still proceeding had been greatly weakened. The rest? Well, the soldiers beyond the forest would have to do their best to deal with them. With that final thought, Mile retreated. If she didn’t get back soon, she got the feeling that the commander would be quite cross with her.

  ***

  “What? The storage girl’s gone? Why? Where did she go?!”

  The remaining three members of the Crimson Vow looked on, troubled, as the commander raged.

  “Umm, well, she said that she wanted to go and chase those guys down just a little bit, so they wouldn’t think of bothering you all again…”

  “Bwuh?! You’re telling me she crossed the border and invaded enemy lands, all by herself, in the middle of the night?! I told everyone, very clearly, not to cross the border no matter what. Was she even listening?!”

  It was after breakfast the following morning, while the group was cleaning up camp, that Mile’s absence came to light.

  For breakfast, everyone had eaten the leftover meat from the previous day’s roast, so the members of the Crimson Vow were able to sell the seasonings and beverages that Mile had left with them. This meant that they would have to discard the cask that contained the liquids, but they still had plenty left over from their previous sortie, so it was not something they were too concerned about.

  Afterwards, however, when the soldiers thought that they might petition Mile for use of her storage magic to carry the rest of their still-uneaten meat to enjoy again that evening, the jig was up.

  “Well, actually,” Mavis explained, just as they had discussed the night before, “she’s not a soldier, just a hunter, going out on her own time in pursuit of food for herself, which has no relation to this job or to national borders.”

  Hearing this, a light bulb seemed
to turn on over the commander’s head.

  Now that he thought about it, it was just as Mavis said. Plus, given the report of the Crimson Vow’s activities he had heard yesterday from their squadmates, he was aware that Mile possessed indeterminably more ability than the average soldier. However, no matter how strong she may have been, chasing down a herd of monsters alone was incredibly reckless. Besides, there was no telling what might happen to her in the time that she was gone, until she caught up with the other soldiers. It would be different if she at least had as much combat prowess as that swordswoman who was their leader, or the combat magic wielder…

  The commander expressed as much, fretting over this reckless action he was permitting. However…

  “What? Mile’s better with a sword than I am, stronger at combat magic than Reina, and more skilled with healing magic than Pauline. She’s the one who taught all of us, after all.”

  “What?” asked the commander, shocked.

  “What???” chorused the other soldiers.

  “I-Is that true?”

  “It’s true.”

  “So we don’t need to wait for her?”

  “She’ll be fine. She’s probably safer right now than we are.”

  The commander fell silent. He didn’t wish to think about this anymore. He turned to his men and ordered, “Company, withdraw! We set off for home at once!”

  Thanks to Mile, their food and water stores had scarcely gone down at all. They only had about a day and a half of travel left, but when traveling through the forest, where anything could happen at any time, it was simply common sense to try and economize or discard extraneous supplies. Thankfully, the soldiers had enough strength to carry a sufficient amount of the remaining meat to eat for dinner that night and breakfast the next morning. (They would not be taking lunch, which took too much time.)

  “Sorry I’m late!”

  “How did you catch up with us so quickly?!”