Operation: Endurance

by Christi Snow

  As they began to fill in Cassie with the details for the Vegas wedding, Chris looked around for Julie. She wasn’t on the couch any more. It was probably past time to get her home and back into bed. He went to search her out and his stomach twisted when he found her sniffling in Penelope’s old bedroom.

  A baby blanket was crushed in her arms and it sounded like her heart was shattering as her fragile shoulders quaked under the barrage of emotion. As he looked around the room, he realized they’d already begun the transforming it into a nursery. Needing to comfort her, he couldn’t leave her to her privacy.

  He didn’t want to scare her, so he touched her gently on the shoulder before he turned her so she pressed against his chest. He rubbed her up and down her back. Was this still grief over Aaron’s death? How could Cassie question her depth of loss when just looking at baby things pushed her into this sort of breakdown? Of course, she had hopes of having babies with him before he died. She was a normal, healthy woman. It was natural for her to dream of having babies with the man she loved.

  As he stood there feeling helpless with her in his arms and unable to fix her pain, it occurred to him again that he’d never be able to have a child, one Julie obviously wanted. But he’d gotten an erection and that wasn’t supposed to happen either. Were his chances at fertility better now? His eyes welled up as he placed a soft kiss on top of her head.

  The sobs slowly subsided and she untangled herself from his embrace, swiping at her eyes. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what brought that on.” She lightly fingered the tears staining his shirt.

  He lifted her chin so she had to look him in the eye. “It’s okay, Julie. I understand. Babies bring out a lot of emotion. There’s nothing wrong with that. Do you want to head home? I know you have to be exhausted.”

  She nodded, the relief showing in her face. “I would, but I can’t go back out there looking like this. Can you go grab my purse for me so that I can repair some of the damage?”

  Ten minutes later, they all exchanged hugs on the way out.

  They’d almost made it to the door, when Penelope squealed, “Wait. I almost forgot.” She rushed back to the bedrooms while they all exchanged confused glances. When she rushed back in, she carried a huge notebook which she pressed toward Julie with a grin. “My latest book. Since you’re basically bedridden this week, you could use some reading, right?”

  Julie nodded and looked down curiously at the book in her hands.

  “It’s the start to an all new series and I think you’ll like it. But I’m really nervous about how my readers will take it so I need you to read through it first and let me know your thoughts.”

  “Okay, thanks Penelope.”

  * * *

  Julie awoke and blinked drowsily at the familiar sight out the side window of the truck as they stopped in front of Chris’s townhouse. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to doze off.”

  “It’s okay.” His voice was hushed in the quiet, dark cab of the truck. “You’re still recovering from pneumonia and it was an emotional night. It’s actually a wonder that you lasted as long as you did.”

  He jumped out of the truck, went around, and opened her door before she had a chance to even think about getting out. “Thanks.”

  They walked up the sidewalk to her front door. He unlocked it for her and held it open. She ducked inside.

  “I’ll be back in about ten minutes,” Chris said as he turned toward his place.

  Her brain was still half asleep as she frowned toward her closed door. Why was he coming back? She was just planning to go to bed and she sure wasn’t up for a midnight chat. The couch called her name, so she sank into it, pulling the blanket around her. This would work for a bed for now. She was just too tired to attempt at anything better.

  The sound of the door opening startled her out of her half-sleep. She sat straight up, trying to orient herself to what the heck was happening. Glancing at the doorway, she was surprised to see Chris standing there, scowling with a duffle bag in his hand. Why did he have an overnight bag? “Chris?”

  “Yeah, it’s okay. Go ahead and go to bed. I’ll just make myself comfortable in your guest bedroom.” He walked on down the hall like what he just said made perfect sense.

  Julie rested her head in her hands, trying to get awake enough to make sense of what was happening here. She was pretty sure they’d never discussed Chris moving in. That’s something she would definitely remember, wouldn’t she? Slowly she stood and approached the guest bedroom. Standing in the doorway, she could see that he was unpacking his bag. Definitely moving in.

  “Um, Chris, what’s going on?”

  The raw vulnerability in his eyes when he looked back at her took her breath away.

  “I found you unconscious and practically dead on the floor once. I can’t get that image out of my mind and it terrifies me. I don’t want you here alone until you’re completely recovered. I just can’t leave you here.”

  He curled his hands into tight fists and when his eyes met hers they were pleading.

  “Okay, you can stay, but you aren’t allowed to use up all the hot water.” At that moment, there was no way she could have told him no to anything.

  His shoulders immediately slumped in relief as he smiled at her. “I’ll try not to. Thanks, Julie. Now you need to get to bed and don’t forget to take your medicine first.”

  Chapter 27The next day, Chris was working in the office for a few hours while Julie napped when Colton cornered him. “Was Julie okay last night? Penelope said something seemed off with her toward the end of the evening.”

  He wouldn’t break Julie’s confidence by spilling about her breakdown in the bedroom. “She’s just wiped out. Everything in the last few months has finally caught up with her and it’s going to take a little bit before she’s fully recovered.”

  Colton gave a sharp nod. “That makes sense, but you need to tell us if it becomes something more. We all love her and want to be there for her, too.”

  “Thanks, Colt. I’ll let her know.”

  They stood in the reception area and Toni handed a file to Colton for him to sign before turning to Chris. “I plan to bring y’all dinner tonight. I haven’t gotten to see Julie since she got out of the hospital. I’ll give you a break for a little bit and buy us some girl time.”

  He nodded. “That would be good. Julie would enjoy seeing you. Thanks, Toni.”

  She began to walk away before she turned back around, “Oh and Colton, the guy called to verify they definitely want to use Mad Rob for that late flight on Wednesday.”

  “Sounds good. Thanks, Toni. Can you bring that paperwork into my office in just a minute so I can make sure that we’ve covered all of their requests?

  * * *

  After dinner that night, Toni and Julie were hanging out in her living room. Toni said she didn’t cook, but she had obviously mastered the art of take-out. She’d brought an amazing dinner of almond crusted salmon with pomegranate glaze on a bed of raw spinach salad. It had been perfect. They’d all three thoroughly enjoyed eating it, but then Chris disappeared to allow the girls some private time.

  Julie snuggled into the couch under the blanket. “So, tell me what’s going on between you and Pete. Are you still going out? I haven’t had a chance to catch up since the wedding and you two looked very cozy there.”

  She nodded with a sweet little shy smile. “We’ve gone out a few times since then. He’s just such a sweetheart and the perfect gentleman. He hasn’t even tried to make a move on me yet besides a single goodnight kiss, even though I’ve tried to send him signals that I’d be open to more.”

  Julie waggled her eyebrows at Toni. “Oh, really?”

  “Well, of course. Have you seen the guy? He’s super-hot. Who wouldn’t want to tap that?”

  Julie laughed. “Are you sure you’re not a guy?”

  “Like I haven’t heard that before.” Toni grimaced. “I think in this relationship, I definitely am. I want in the guy’s pants. Desperately. It’s be
en entirely too long of a dry spell and there’s only so much that B.O.B. can do for me.”

  Julie giggled. “So what is he up to tonight?”

  “Detective Barnes has him working late on the rapist case.”

  “Have there been any more attacks?”

  “I think there was one over the weekend, but he isn’t allowed to talk to me about it, so I just kind of have to go by his work load to know when something is going down. His hours seem incredibly erratic. I had no idea cops worked such different hours every day.”

  Julie frowned. “Hmm, they usually don’t at Pete’s level, but I know they really want to catch this guy so that may affect the way they normally do things. I hate it when they have to work long hours. I worry that exhaustion will cause them to make a mistake. So much of what they do could turn dangerous so easily.”

  At Toni’s worried look, Julie winced. “I’m sorry, Toni. I don’t mean to scare you. It’s been a long year, so I tend to look at the negative side of things. Ignore me.”

  “Okay, let’s go with positive things. Enlighten me. You and Chris?”

  Julie ducked her head. What could she say? There were moments when it seemed like there was something there, but then others when it seemed like Chris was just a friend. They’d shared a few kisses, but they’d never developed into anything more. She didn’t know what to think anymore. Aaron told her everything happened for a reason. She was just trying to hold onto that, but having Chris live with her in her house? Geez, this was a special kind of torture. She wanted more and wanting was dangerous.

  “Julie?” Toni prompted.

  “Sorry, I must be getting tired. Chris and I are just friends.”

  “Hmm, I don’t think so. He doesn’t look at you like you’re just friends and you should have seen him before you woke up in the hospital. The guy was out of his mind with worry. He cares way more for you than just friends, I promise you that.”

  And there it was again, that hope.

  Chapter 28He parked his car at an angle in front of the gang of juvenile delinquents leaning up against the chain-link fence.

  “Yo, man, you’re in our space. That could be dangerous for a man like you,” one of the punks called to him.

  “Yeah, well, I’m not too worried. Go fetch your boss-man, Slade. We have some business to discuss.” As a group, the punks relaxed their stature. Knowing Slade was a shoe-in for safety within this group.

  He leaned up against the hood of his car while he waited, looking over the motley group to memorize their faces. There was no telling when information about one or more of them might prove useful to him.

  On the verge of losing his patience, finally he spotted Slade coming through the doorway. The cocky bastard was strolling like he had all the time in the world. It was time to disabuse him of that notion.

  He flicked his thumb toward the passenger door and growled, “Get in.”

  A momentary flash of wariness popped into Slade’s eyes, but then he seemed to remember that all his homies were watching him closely. Slade couldn’t show weakness if he wanted to stay in control of these boys, so he ambled toward the car like he didn’t have anything to worry about.

  As they drove away, he asked, “So how have things been going for you, Slade? Did that little problem I took care of for you a couple of months ago work out?”

  “Yeah,” the kid mumbled.

  “Good, good, because now it’s time for you to show your appreciation for what I did for you.” He tossed Slade a manila envelope. “I need you and your boys to take care of this guy. He’s become a problem for me. I don’t care how you do it or what you do to him. Just get him out of my way. The details about where he lives and works are in there. Make sure you take care of him when he’s alone. I don’t want any other collateral damage. Do we understand each other?”

  Slade nodded.

  “By the way, I heard your sister, Louisa, has a little problem. No worries. I’ll get it taken care of. Remember, you scratch my back, I scratch yours.”

  The naked fear in Slade’s eyes made him smile. His problem would be taken care of soon. Slade knew the score and what would happen if he failed.

  They pulled back up in front of the group of boys where he’d originally parked. Slade grabbed the door handle, but he stopped Slade before he was able to exit the car.

  “Oh, and Slade, the guy has a bad left knee. You can take advantage of that. Just make sure you do it as soon as possible.”

  As he drove away, he chuckled to himself. Soon, the neighbor would be out of the way and if for some reason Slade failed at his job, well, Louisa fit the profile for one of his special ones perfectly.

  Number nine had been taken care of last night. Just a few more and then all would be right in his and Jocelyn’s world.

  Chapter 29Julie squirmed as daggers of arousal slammed through her core. Whoa, Penelope had written an extremely hot book this time. Not that they were usually anything less than scorching. How Penelope had managed to hide that she was an erotic romance writer all these years when she was writing stuff like this, Julie had no idea. She slammed the notebook shut and flung the covers off her hot body.

  After spending most the day sleeping off the lingering sickness, insomnia had struck tonight. She’d thought reading would help her to relax. Instead, now she was even more worked up and awake than she’d been when she crawled into bed.

  Chris slept just a room away. It would be so easy to go and slip quietly into his bed and let nature take its course. They still had chemistry going for them. There was no doubt it would be good. Before Chris and that Valentine’s Day weekend, she hadn’t known what she was missing. Now she knew and that made the loss of that ecstasy that much more painful.

  Aaron had told her that it was time for her to live. Wouldn’t this qualify as doing that?

  Her nipples pebbled and ached. She rubbed across them, trying to ease the incessant need, but her own touch wasn’t going to do it for her tonight. She twisted in her bed, desire pulling at her. It had been so long since anyone else had touched her. Chris had been her last sexual experience and even though it had been amazing, fifteen months was too long to go without sex.

  A low moaning, “No,” filtered down the hall.

  Julie froze. That sounded like Chris. She scrambled out of her bed and down the hall to his room where his door was cracked slightly open and she could see him thrashing in the covers.

  The sweat on his torso glimmered in the moonlight and her gut wrenched. His chest was covered with scars, both small and large. She knew in her mind that he’d been tortured, but seeing the effects made her sick for him. The pain he must have endured. She swallowed hard, unsure what to do. The odds were high he wouldn’t appreciate her intrusion, but she didn’t want to leave him while he was so obviously caught up in a nightmare.

  Suddenly, he tensed. Julie held her breath, not knowing if she should stay or if she should go. With a shouted, “Oh Fuck! No!” Chris sat straight up in bed, his chest heaving. She rushed over to his side and lowered herself onto the bed beside him so she could reach her arms around him. His sweat-slickened skin felt chilled under her fingertips and she rubbed his back, pressing her chest into his side, trying to share her warmth. Shudders rolled through him and he continued to gasp for breath.

  She curled her fingers into his hair at the nape of his neck as he slowly sank into her embrace. “It was just a dream. It’s okay. You’re safe now,” she whispered into his ear, not sure how awake he was yet. His chest continued to heave, but his arms reached around her to hold onto her as he trembled.

  His muscles slowly began to relax into her as she held him, smoothing her hands lightly over the planes of the muscles of his back. She could feel more scarring here, but tried to smooth over the ridges. Her heart broke as she considered how he’d gotten them.

  “Julie?” he croaked as he hesitantly touched her.

  She leaned away from him so she could look at his eyes in the semi-darkness. His eyes still looked haunted
. “Yeah, it’s okay. It’s just me. You had a nightmare. Do you want me to turn on the light?”

  “No,” he rasped as another shudder travelled up his spine. “I’m sorry I woke you up.”

  “It’s okay. I was awake. I was just reading.” She cupped his cheek softly. “Do you want to talk about it?”

  He shook his head. “It’s always the same.” His voice broke. “Just a replay, because obviously it wasn’t bad enough to have to live through it the first time.” His chuckle sounded hollow and bitter.

  She tightened her hold around him wanting to give him something else, anything else to hold onto. As she traced a ridge under her fingertip, she had an idea. She kissed his neck and then whispered in his ear, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry it happened in the first place. I’m sorry you’ll always have to live with the memories and nightmares. But maybe we can do something to displace some of those nightmares.”

  She crawled up into his lap and he watched her warily. “Julie, I’m not sure—”

  She silenced him with a soft kiss on his lips. “Let me,” she said seductively and then began tracing the scars running along his pecs with her tongue and lips. Another shudder rolled through him as he moaned low and deep.

  That moan went straight to her core and her panties flooded with arousal. As she explored the planes of his hard muscles, her eyes filled with tears at the sheer amount of scars that marred his gorgeous body. She kissed and caressed, as if the action could take some of his pain away from him.

  His gentle hands swiped at the tears flowing freely down her face. “Don’t cry for me, Butterfly. Never cry for me. It’s okay. I’m okay.” His voice cracked with emotion.

  “I just hate that you had to go through it. I want to be able to take away your pain.”

  He frowned down at her. “I don’t want your pity, Julie.”

  “That’s not—”