By this time I’m soaked; in fact, I’ve been wet for a long time and now, restrained, my pussy is coming alive; the longing for him makes me wild. He is holding me under control and, irrespective of my actions, he pounds me relentlessly, hard and painful, but oh so sweet. I lose count of the violent thrusts coming upon me, bonded with his animalistic grunts each time faster and faster and, one last time, he stills himself inside of me, filling me with his life. Panting and still holding me tight, he buries his head in my bosom and tightens his grip more.
“Oh fucking hell! I’ve missed you so much, Amelia!”
“Don’t stop,” I’m out of breath, still chasing my fuck. “Please...”
“Stop? Who said I’m stopping?”
As he holds me tight, still buried in me, he turns us over and now I’m underneath him. Then he slides down my body and takes my panties off.
The limited space is really challenging but it seems he’s already thought this through. He kneels, grabbing my butt cheeks, yanking me closer and with his hands spreading my inner thighs open, his ravenous eyes feed off of me as he comes forward and then, shamelessly, he digs in. His tongue is ravaging my sopping folds, his groaning sounds are tipping me over the edge.
“Ah …Alexander!” I’ve missed you so much! Yes! Yes!
My hands are already in his hair, pulling him closer while he’s latched onto my clit greedily sucking me. I writhe under him but I can’t move, he’s holding me firm, his fingers clawed into my flesh and, I begin to see my rainbow. I start thrashing forward into his tongue and fingers and, knowing I’m on the edge, he moves away and looks at my eyes. His lips wet, glossy, and partly open, his eyes voraciously looking at my body, he grabs me again by my hips and drags me closer, straight onto his erected cock, slamming it hard into me and I think I’m beginning to squirt in delirium, the wetness I feel is everywhere, and I moan, convulse, my pussy contracts around him and I’m lost in my own cloud nine. Fucked into oblivion, I’m riding my heavenly orgasmic wave, thrashing about in the car.
“Maybe - if – I come - now - I might - have - enough!” Those last words bring his rapture and he starts grunting, loud enough to be heard outside, thrusting like an animal into me and holding me tight. I’m struggling to come to terms with my lengthy orgasm and I’m coming too, god knows how this is possible.
~
Sweaty, panting, and still stuck to one another, we look at each other. My leg has ended up on his shoulder and as he comes closer to kiss me, I feel him slipping away.
“Don’t move.” I whisper. “I haven’t had enough of you yet.”
He makes a few more slow thrusts and then leans down and kisses me on the lips. “You just had me at hello - literally. Wasn’t that enough?”
I can’t help but smile, “I never said hello,” and then holding his head in my hands I wedge our lips together, extending that kiss.
“Welcome back, Alexander.” I say, blissfully looking at his eyes, blue as the sky.
“Mmm…,” he mumbles over my lips. “It’s so good to be back.”
~
It takes us a good while to straighten our clothes and become decent again. As I snuggle up to Alexander in the back seat he knocks on the window to let Quinn in. With his arm around my shoulder I lean on his chest, nuzzling my face into his neck. He smells divine. I missed him so much!
“Take us to Putney, Quinn.” He turns to me. “Do you have to work today?”
“Yes, I need to get back to work,” I sleepily say.
“I’m heading there too. I’m expecting a call from my lawyers in San Francisco.” As if we haven’t just had sex, his mind is working 24/7 and, strangely, he sounds worried.
“Is everything okay?”
“Yes, everything is fine.”
“What is it, Alexander?” I’m not fooled that easily.
I’m met with deadly silence and him, shuffling about uncomfortably. I don’t ask any more questions, so after a few moments, he settles in again, with me in his arms. Whatever is bothering him, he’ll tell me in his own time, I’m sure.
~
Nobody knows about our relationship at Pinberg Casting. Jennifer maybe suspects something but she’s not sure.
“We’re here,” Quinn says while Alexander looks through the car window, ready to open the door.
“I haven’t told anyone at work, Alexander.” I regard him nervously.
“You can do whatever you want, Amelia. Don’t feel guilty because you’re enjoying your life.”
“I’m not, it’s just...”
“Don’t worry about that right now. I won’t tell them, but soon, they’ll have to know.” He kisses me on the cheek and with it, the conversation is over. Do I want to tell them? Not yet. Definitely not yet.
The elevator is packed and I feel awkward. I don’t know how to behave. I want to hold his hand but even if people knew, it’s unprofessional. Anushka, our new intern, is standing next to him, drooling. With almost the same height as him she looks in his eyes boldly and smiles, and he responds. God, who employed her? Blond hair, blue eyes, tall and skinny, in her twenties, do we really need a model working for us? I take a step back, trying to ignore this nonsense; jealousy doesn’t suit me. Ugh! I’m glad when the doors finally open and we all have a chance to move out. Including her.
I walk back to my own desk, the one that belonged to me originally and sit in my chair; for the past few weeks I was staring at Alexander’s empty office, waiting for his arrival.
Alexander takes his time greeting people, charming everyone on the way. I see him smiling, yes, but his sky blue eyes are now darker, almost dismal. Can four weeks change a man?
Finally he enters his office and sits in his leather chair, swerving it towards me, locking his eyes with mine instantly. The effect he has on me is thrilling. He cocks his head, looking at my body and as if I don’t know the theory of Pavlov’s dog, my trained body reclines in the chair and my legs gradually open. The pleasure he has given me is incentive enough. He’s rubbing his crotch under the desk, luring me, and I think it’s working. Inwardly smiling I saunter into his office, close the door, and pull the blinds down.
Alexander lifts his eyebrow and smirks. “I don’t think I’ll be able to work with you around here, Amelia.” He walks towards me and as he reaches me, he gently pushes my body with his, making me take a few steps backwards. With my back flat on the wall, he presses his body against mine; I feel his warm breath on my neck, calling me into his realm.
“I’ve missed this so much.”
“Me too.” My eyes are closed; immersed in his presence, I’m flying.
“You want more, baby? Is that why you’re here?”
“No… I don’t know.”
“You don’t know? Well,” he mumbles over my skin, nibbling on my earlobe, “If you didn’t come for more, then you won’t be wet when I feel you, right?” he grinds his erection into my body and smells my hair. “But you have. And you know I can’t get enough of you. Your sweet little tight pussy is wet, and burning.”
He lifts my dress and hooks his fingers into the rim of my panties, gliding them down.
“No… we’re at work.” I talk and pant at the same time; the endorphins are sending me straight to heaven. He nips my ear, his long fingers gently caress my folds; I know what he’s doing, he’s making me open up for him.
“Would it help if I fire you?” his kisses turn into tiny bites along my jaw line.
“I don’t know, would you want to be charged with sexual harassment?” I sheepishly huff between breaths.
“Really?” he smiles irreverently and jerks his index and middle finger deep inside of me, more than once, and my knees buckle.
A moan rushes past my lips.
“I better behave then.” He takes his fingers out abruptly.
What? Wanton, I look at him.
“I...I don’t like this game.”
“I love you so much Amelia, just like you are, wet, hot and bothered. Now pull your panties up and off yo
u go. As you said, we’re at work.”
“You’ll pay for this.” I caution him, breathless, with smoldering pain deep inside. Only he can make it go away.
“I’m looking forward to it.” He smirks just as his telephone starts ringing, interrupting us. “I must take this. It’s my lawyer. Are we still on for tonight?”
“Yes. Seven o’clock,” I say, fixing my panties and dress and, taking a few deep breaths to calm down and reach earth, I exit.
~
“The dinner is ready, Amelia.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Saunders. Let’s just look at tonight like any other night. It would be good if you eat with us too.”
“No, dear, it should be you, him, and the kids. You know that. And you’ll be fine.”
“Yes. Thank you.” My voice is somber.
“You know I’m only up the stairs if you need me, right?”
“Yes. Yes I do.”
God, I hope I have enough strength tonight. Michael and Jason are already in the kitchen, at the table, waiting for the food and as I’m watching Mrs. Saunders go up the stairs, the doorbell rings. The rush of adrenaline makes my body shudder.
It’s Alexander. Coming to officially meet my nephews.
With my heart hammering in my chest, I don’t think I have ever been this nervous in my life. I open the door and, he just stands there, with a distant look in his eyes. Upon seeing me, his gaze changes to complete devotion and love.
“You look amazing.” His smooth voice gives me the confidence I need.
“I haven’t even changed my dress.” I smile. “Come in.”
Without exchanging any more words, I motion him to follow me and we both walk in the kitchen. My expectations are not high. In fact, this is my first step. I’m having dinner with a colleague. Nothing else.
“Boys, remember Alexander?”
They turn around and regard him; their facial expressions are giving off mixed messages, the ones I’m not ready to comprehend yet. And they just stare at him. None of them dare to say anything.
“He’ll be having dinner with us today,” I say casually.
“Hello, Michael, Jason.” Alexander seems relaxed. This is just the beginning.
Silence.
“Well don’t be rude, say hello!”
“Hi,” Jason says looking at his plate.
Michael just stares. One would think a third world war will ensue any minute now. They’re only ten for god’s sake! As we both walk around the table Alexander touches the back of the chair Thomas used to sit on.
“That chair is taken!” Michael says with clenched teeth.
“Michael! Alexander, sorry, you can sit over here.” I try to mend the situation.
“That’s okay, Amelia, I understand. I would never want to sit in that place.”
“No, you don’t!” Michael is not giving in.
“Michael, behave yourself! What’s wrong with you?”
“What’s wrong? Do you really want to know? DO YOU?” he looks at me angrily and, it’s like he’s been waiting for me to ask this question all this time. “How could you, Aunt Lia? How could you bring him home? Ever since we met him,” motioning towards Alexander with his head, “My life is shit! My dad is not here, you’re telling me things I’m supposed to believe in and...I hate it! I hate you! I hate you!” he starts crying and runs out of the kitchen and up the stairs with Jason following him closely. Jason didn’t say a thing but I feel his bitterness, too.
“Michael!” I’m confused. “Jason!” Where did this come from? All this time…. Why? Why didn’t they tell me? Why didn’t they say something? Get it out of their system. We talked!
I look at Alexander, my eyes brimming with tears and I see it, I see the pain in his eyes. This, us, will never be as one. It’s impossible.
“Amelia,” he takes my hand in his and kisses it softly, “It could have been worse.”
“Yes, I know.” The pain, the stupid kind of pain I feel inside, is breaking me in two. One half is for my nephews and the other one for Alexander. Tears run down my cheeks but I’m not sobbing. I’m just asking myself, is it fair of me to put them through this? Rushing things is never good.
“...I better go and check on them.”
He places his hand on my upper arm, gently caressing me. “I wouldn’t go if I were you. They need this. They need to release the pain. To shed the tears.”
“Why? No...I’m sorry, Alexander, I think you’re wrong.”
“Amelia, nobody wants to go through these emotions. It’s the road less traveled. But, it’s their road to freedom.” He wipes a tear off my cheek. “They need to accept the reality, and you need to get rid of the guilt you feel for taking their father away.”
He embraces me and holds me tight, assuring me this heartache will be gone one day. “We’ll get through it. It’s going to be hard, but it will happen eventually.”
“Amelia,” Mrs. Saunders’s voice surprises us both, “Sorry I’m interrupting you.”
“Hi, Mrs. Saunders, that’s okay.” I sniffle. “Come in. I don’t think you’ve met Alexander.”
“Nice to meet you, Alexander.” She reaches out and shakes his hand.
“Finally, a handshake and a smile. That’s all I came for.” He’s trying to make the conversation lighter.
“I heard what happened. Amelia, it’s okay. It’s good!” she says.
“Good?”
“They haven’t cried, Amelia. Never. You know what that does to their minds? Emotionally closing at the age of ten? This, you coming here,” she looks at Alexander, “Is a blessing in disguise. Don’t you worry. Have your dinner. I’ll go upstairs and keep an eye on them.”
Should I be relived they’re crying? They haven’t cried when Eliza died, they were too young to understand. Come to think of it, they’ve never cried before. I thought they were taking it all too well, but how could I have been so blind?
“Amelia, I can go if you want me to. I’ll let you be with your children.” Worried, Alexander is waiting for me to speak. “Just tell me what you want me to do.”
I regard them both; what they say makes so much sense. I wanted Michael and Jason to be angry, to shout, and maybe break something but got only hugs back.
“Stay, please,” I plead with teary eyes.
~
Wrapped in Alexander’s arms, my head is resting on his chest and his steady heartbeat is soothing my mind. We’re lying on the sofa, both trying to fall asleep, but I can’t. Tonight’s scene is playing over and over in my head. How could I have been so blind?
“Amelia? Sleep.”
I sigh. “I can’t.”
“You have to. Your body needs the rest.”
“I just… can’t.”
He gently strokes my head and pushes a lock of hair behind my ear.
“Do you want to talk?”
“What about?”
“Anything.”
“I love you,” I whisper while playing with one of his shirt buttons in front of me.
“I know. I love you too. Anything else?”
“No. That’s all.”
He kisses my head softly.
“Can I tell you something?”
“Sure.”
“Max is coming tomorrow.”
CHAPTER 2
I lift my head, searching for his eyes, puzzled.
“Are you serious?”
“Yes.” His uncertain look is not helping me at all; I know I’m not prepared to see his son again. I need to sort out Michael and Jason first.
“Why is he coming?”
“I want him to meet you properly.”
“Me? Alexander, I don’t think I’m ready.” I panic and try to get up but he stops me; his hands draw me close to him again, back on his chest.
“He’ll see where I work, who I work with and seeing you there, a friendly face among the crowd…he might...I don’t know. I really don’t know where I’m going with this one but I want us to have dinner together. Just like tonight.”
“Ha-ha?” I smirk sarcastically. “You’re joking, right?”
“Well, maybe tonight was not ideal but it’s a step forward.”
Thinking about his son is daunting. I can see how he felt coming to see the boys tonight. I’m a grown woman. Having to please a teenager, to get him to accept me, it’s nerve-racking. Why do I have to prove I’m good enough for his father? Argh, I shake off that thought and move around just a little, nesting, molding into his embrace and after a few moments of serene silence, I hear his voice again.
“I know I’m doing the right thing, Amelia.”
“What do you mean?”
“I realized I’ve been very selfish with Max, keeping him so close, filling the void his mother left. I think it’s time to set him free.” He stops and takes a deep breath, burdened with the thought. This is all new for him and letting go is the hardest part. “Max has always been my number one. Although now, the scales have moved in your favor.” He smirks. “I love him; no doubt there but it’s also time for me to start living. It took me a long time to admit I needed someone in my life.”
He lifts my head, searching for my eyes. “And I have you to thank you for that.”
I kiss his warm, soft lips. “No, thank you.”
“Me? For what?”
“For everything. Things would have gone wrong between Thomas and me sooner or later and I would have left him and been alone and…”
“If it wasn’t for me, I’m sure you would have met some other guy, Amelia.” After contemplating the thought, he continues, somewhat aggravated. “..and then I would have had to kick his head, too.”
The Collar of Sacrifice Page 2