I put my cheek down on his chest again and, strangely, my attention is drawn to the fast beating of his heart.
“There may be another reason why Max is coming.”
“Oh?”
“I’m scared for him.”
“Why?”
“Because I saw my father.”
“Your father?”
“At the reading of Jack’s will.”
“Oh yes, you didn’t tell me what happened.”
“I don’t understand how I could remember him so vividly. He’s aged a lot, white hair, wrinkles and all that, but his eyes…his eyes are still the same. Detestable. I know nothing will give me the closure I need in my life but me being there was the closest to my mother I’ve been in years. And when the lawyer passed a small wooden box to me, my father went ballistic. Apparently, everything Jack had was supposed to go to him. It was in his will. Everything, except this little box, according to the lawyers. He shouted, screamed, and then threatened a lawsuit. The more he insisted the box was his, the more I wanted to see what was inside. The lawyers had to consult with someone on the phone to make sure everything was correct before continuing with the reading.”
“And? Did you get the box?”
“When they returned, my father came in the room, too. This time, he was calm. He even smiled at me. He asked me how Max is. Nobody knows about Max, Amelia! I’ve kept him away from everyone. It’s what got me paranoid. I just wanted him out of there.”
“Maybe he knows all about you, just like you know all about him. Like father, like son.”
“I am not like him.” he says quietly through clenched teeth. “So I stood up and as I did, they just handed me the box. I had to sign a few documents but I left soon after.”
“Did you open it?”
“Yes.”
After a few moments of silence he speaks again.
“That’s why I needed time to figure things out but then I spoke with you that day and I had to come here. You needed me.” He sighs. “Actually, I needed you. And I had to bring Max, too.”
“What was in the box, Alexander?”
He kisses the top of my head and sighs, his distress betrayed by his heavy breathing.
“Don’t… don’t ask me that.”
I never thought I would see him like this. Defeated. Scared, almost.
“It’s okay, Alexander. I’m here if you need me.”
I let it go, my own agony slowly creeping in and soon, the events from earlier tangle in my thoughts with different, heartbreaking outcomes.
~
I’m sure it’s barely been a few hours because I don’t think I’ve slept at all when I feel a warm kiss on my forehead and cruel words spoken softly. “I’m going home, beautiful.”
“Mmm.”
“I have to go through the paperwork for today and, of course, shower and change. Don’t get up, I’ll see you at work.”
“Stay here,” I open my eyes dreamily. “Use the shower upstairs.”
“No, thank you. I can already see the scene from Psycho playing in my head, with one of your children in lead role.” He chuckles.
“Ha-ha…Very funny.” I smile. “Love you.”
“Love you too, pet.”
~
Today is just like any other day at work, except for this weight I have on my chest. It won’t go away until I find a way to deal with Michael and Jason. I’m trying to work hard and forget, but every now and then my thoughts wander off to last night. What really happened? Should we have waited longer? Four weeks have passed and you’d think that’s enough time but, how could I have failed to notice their misery?
There’s a telephone ringing behind me on Jennifer’s desk, bringing me back to now and today and I hear her voice answering the call. “Yes, yes, she’s here. Mhm, is everything okay? Hold on.”
I look back, wondering who she’s talking to and see her holding the handset to her chest, mouthing, “It’s for you, Amelia.”
“Me? Transfer the call, Jen.” In a second my phone is ringing and I pick it up.
“Hello?”
“Miss Jones? I’m calling from Cottington Primary School. Michael and Jason were involved in a fight today and.…”
“Are they all right?” interrupting her midsentence, my heart jumps out from my chest upon hearing their teacher talk.
“Yes, only a few cuts and bruises. They’ve seen the school’s nurse and they’re ready to go home.”
“What happened?”
“I’m sure the Head Teacher will talk to you in due course. Right now, we need you to come and get them, please.”
“Oh, of course, I’ll find someone immediately. Thank you.”
I put the phone down, and again, I have the sense of listening to my heart beat in my ears while I dial Mrs. Saunders’s number.
“Hi, Mrs. Saunders. Are you at home?” I ask with a tremulous voice.
“I’m on my way to meet someone. Is everything okay, Amelia?”
“Can you do me a favor, Mrs. Saunders? Please? Michael and Jason were in a fight and the school called asking me to pick them up. Could you please get them for me and bring them here, to my office? I cannot possibly leave early today; I have an important meeting at four.” I finish the sentence, all in one breath, still shaking.
“Of course, dear, calm down. I’ll get them.”
“Are you sure you’re okay with it?”
“Yes, I’ll be there in half an hour.”
“Thanks, Mrs. Saunders.”
I put the phone down and feel Jennifer’s eyes digging into the back of my head; she’s waiting for me to say something but I don’t think I can manage it without falling apart.
“The boys have been fighting at school.” The moment I make eye contact with her I get an influx of tears, now brimming at the edge of my eyelids.
“Oh, Amelia, is that all? Please, don’t worry. That’s nothing. It’s quite normal for children coming from a broken home to fight.”
“Broken home? They don’t come from a broken home,” I whisper, my voice, trembling. That really hurt.
“Um…Well…They don’t have a mother, and um, we all know you left your brother in law. It’s not broken home per se, but, you know what I mean.”
Looking at her, I blink and a few bulky tears roll down my cheek. Broken home? It sounds so sinister…when it’s not! If only she knew the full story. My chin trembles while I wipe a few silent tears from my face and I get up, heading for the restroom; without holding off much longer I enter the farthest stall and start sobbing. I’m mad at myself, at the world, at all the impediments my stupid life has. I know it’s my fault for disturbing Jason’s and Michael’s childhood even more but I thought it would be much easier, this, me, being happy.
In the short twenty minutes that I’m here, I cry so hard, up to the point where I cannot get any more air in my lungs; at the end, I’m faced with the only shortcut - splashing my face a few times with cold water to make myself presentable, hoping people will not notice my red, puffy eyes. Standing by the elevator and avoiding everyone, I’m impatiently waiting for Mrs. Saunders to come with the boys.
For the third time the doors open and I see people coming out but this time, Michael and Jason are there, walking out last. Jason’s lips are cut and Michael has a red eye that will be a bruise in a few hours.
“I’m sorry, Amelia, but they’re waiting for me. I’ve got to go.” I’ve never seen Mrs. Saunders in a hurry.
“Yes, sure, go ahead and thank you very much, Mrs. Saunders, don’t let me keep you.”
Seeing my red eyes, she already knows I’ve been crying. “Don’t you worry yourself with this, Amelia, let it go.”
I thank her and as the doors close in front of me, I compose myself, wipe my face again and, mad, I look at them.
“Right, you two, follow me!” I say and shoot through the office while they clumsily run after me. Reaching me at the boardroom, I stand by the door, waiting for them to enter; once we’re all inside, I slam it
behind me.
Sitting down on the nearest chair and facing the floor, they look guilty as hell.
“What the hell happened at school?”
“You won’t believe us anyway,” Michael mumbles. God, he annoys me so much when he does that.
“Try me,” I say, gritting my teeth.
I allow a small pause but nothing further comes out of his mouth.
“I’m asking again, Michael. What. The. Hell. Happened.”
Jason is fidgeting; he’s always been there to save his brother and now, obviously, wants to do it again; he wants to start talking. He knows Michael will blow up.
“Do not say a word!” I look at him. “You! Talk!” I point at Michael, already bewildered with my newfound power. I’ve never shouted at them in the past.
“Um…it wasn’t my fault, if that’s what you’re asking!” In defense, he succumbs.
I lift my chin and trying to strengthen my authority, I hiss in a low voice, “I asked, what the hell happened?”
They’re quiet, their eyes trained on the floor and that’s when I lose it.
“You are both grounded for a week!” I scream. “No iPads, no X-box or any other computer games, NOTHING!” I shout at them and leave, shaking inside. I feel so guilty. I’m the one who needs to be grounded, for life! I slam the door behind me and, holding on to my tears I head straight into Alexander’s office.
“Amelia! What’s wrong? What happened?” upon seeing me he rushes towards me, closing the door behind me while I break down, sobbing into his arms. He looks at my eyes but I just shake my head. I want to be held, to cry and pour out my sadness, my guilt. I’m fucking up my sister’s children! I cry and lose my voice sobbing, falling into his arms completely.
“It’s okay, Amelia. It’s okay.”
“No, no, it’s not okay!” I make a fist with my hand and hit his chest. Don’t tell me it is when it’s NOT! I start hitting hit him with both hands and sob uncontrollably. “Stop patronizing me!”
“Hey, where did that come from? I’m not patronizing you!”
He presses me close to his chest when I hear the door opening; I’ve lost interest, I don’t care anymore. It’s better they find out about us than coming to work and pretending everything is rosy. With his hand he waves to someone and the door closes; whatever it is, it can wait. Grabbing me firmly he makes me look at him through my blurry eyes.
“Stop feeling sorry for yourself!” He comes closer to my face. “You’re doing the right thing! Now, tell me, what happened?”
“Michael and Jason were in a fight today,” I sob and sniffle, “The school called me… They…they upset me so much.”
“They’re children, Amelia, they’ll try anything. What happened? Are they okay?”
“I don’t know. They haven’t said a thing yet. That’s why I’m upset!”
“What do you mean they haven’t said a thing? Did you speak with them? Where are they?”
“I had to bring them here, Mrs. Saunders was busy. They’re in the boardroom.”
“What? Amelia, Quinn is taking Max there right now!” Our eyes meet and we freeze; the dread and fear exchanging between us is palpable. “Shit!”
“Fuck!” I storm out in panic, heading for the boardroom and just as I’m about to grab hold of the handle to open the door I hear conversation from the other side and I stop. The door is not closed properly and I try to listen in.
“Can we see your iPad? What games do you have?”
“Yeah, sure. Take a look.”
I see Max passing his iPad to Jason while Michael watches them both.
“Hey, I notice your accent. Where you are from?”
“San Francisco. You?”
“No kidding, we’re from San Francisco too! Except we’ve been living here for most of our lives.”
“Cool.”
“Your iPad needs charging.” Jason notices.
“Don’t sweat it, I have another one. Here, take it.”
“Another one? Don’t you have a charger?”
“Why charge when I can have another iPad?” Max is asking, perplexed.
“Oh! I guess you’re right. It makes sense,” Jason notes and continues playing.
“What happened?” Max points to Michael’s red eye.
“Nothing. Can I have a go on your iPad?”
“Sure. Here.”
“I’m Michael by the way.”
“Max.”
“Jason.”
“Huh. I come to England for the first time and I meet Americans from San Francisco! Great!”
As I watch them all sitting down, immersed in their games I feel my heart expanding. Happy tears form over my glassy eyes and I turn around, regarding Alexander. He’s standing next to me and, placing his arm on my lower back, he smiles and reaches out, wiping a stray tear rolling down my cheek, kissing me right there, in its path.
“Come.”
The door to his office closes behind us and we just stand there, facing each other, not saying a word. I’m looking at him, at his sky blue eyes, roaming all over my face; undying love is what I see but, why is there anxiety, too?
“I love you so much Amelia.” He kisses my lips softly. I drown in his kiss and as my eyes instinctively close, I glance behind him. It’s only for a fraction of a second, but I see a wooden box sitting in the middle of his desk. I don’t even know how it caught my eye. An old, small but sturdy, dark wood with a metal latch on the side.
That is the box. And I want to know what’s inside. I move back but his kiss becomes stronger, there is an exhilarating, palpable current between us; this man’s mind is always on sex. He pulls back, looking into my eyes and I see him taking a deep breath with flared nostrils, as if he is on some kind of drug.
“No.” I shake my head. I’m already feeling the effects in my groin and I take a step back. “Alexander, not now, please.” My breathing is becoming ragged and I take a few more steps backwards, hitting the wall behind me.
“It’s you. I can’t help it. You do strange things to my mind,” he whispers as he comes forward.
“Damn you!” I turn around. My shallow breathing is a give-away. “Damn you, Alexander…” I whisper into the wall. His body envelops mine and I close my eyes, feeling his bulge rubbing against my skirt. He is kissing my neck softly and arousing my whole body, creating goosebumps in places I didn’t know exist. I want to turn around but he holds me there, with my back to him. His hands go down to his pants and in a swift move he unbuckles himself. That’s when I know I must take a stand.
“Alexander, please, stop!” Dammit. I pant, my body responds by perking my behind into his velvety erection but I know my mind must prevail. “My nephews are here, your son is here, please.”
“I want you, Amelia. I always do.” He’s humping my bottom in a fluid motion that can make any respectable woman scream in ecstasy and shed her clothes for him. But not me. Not this time. And definitely not here.
“Alexander,” I turn my face away from him, “This power you have over me, don’t make me loathe it, please.”
Confused, he pinches my chin with his fingers and pulls my face towards his.
“Loathe it?” he knits his eyebrows together. “I thought you liked that. I thought you liked the sex.”
“I do like the sex! I love the sex! Not everywhere, though! It’s not fair! You know you can have me anywhere you want but this, what you’re doing is verging on stupid teenagers’ behavior,” I push him slightly off of me while he takes a step back, giving me space to turn around. “I don’t want to have sex here again. It’s too risky for me.”
“I want to fuck you anyplace I want, Amelia. If working here is a problem, maybe you should give me your notice by the end of the day,” he says coldly and, hurt, he tucks his massive cock back inside his pants.
I need this job! I need the money now more than ever and he’s asking me to give him my notice? I’m not due to move back to San Francisco for the next five months and if I don’t work, what will I do? H
ow will I pay my bills?
“I can’t believe you’re saying that to me,” I whisper. “You know I need this job.” I lower myself on the settee’s arm rest, next to me. I’m really hurt.
“Fuck... That came out a wrong, Amelia! I didn’t mean it like that.” Realizing his mistake, he’s quick to correct it. “But you know you don’t have to work anymore, right?” he gently cups my head in his hands. “My money is your money, Amelia.”
“That’s ridiculous, Alexander, I need to work! I want to work!”
At that moment the door bursts open and in hurls Maximilian, jolting both of us and we stand up straight.
“Dad!” he lunges at Alexander, disregarding me totally and embracing him.
“Max!”Alexander is trying to steady himself. “How was the flight?”
“Yeah, good.” His smile is exactly like Alexander’s; this boy will grow up to be very handsome indeed and as the thought crosses my mind he looks at me and I see his big smile slowly disappearing. Instead, his impassive, expressionless look, just like his dad on occasions, makes an appearance.
“Max, do you remember Amelia?” Alexander is ignoring his immediate change of demeanor. It’s been four weeks since I met him but it feels like it was only yesterday when I was coldly ignored by him.
“Yes. Good afternoon.” He shakes my hand and looks at Alexander, the life in his eyes returning.
“Dad, you’re never going to believe it, I met someone from the States, from San Francisco! They’re right outside and I want you to meet them.” He turns to the door and shouts. “Come on guys, get in here!”
I glance at Alexander in panic and quickly jump up, scurrying towards the door.
“I’m going. Talk to you later.”
Right outside his office, one step before making an entrance I see Jason and Michael and take them by their hand, dragging them with me.
“What do you think you’re doing?” standing by my desk, I scold.
“But…we….” Jason tries to explain.
“This is my work and I don’t care who you’ve met, you are to stay where I left you!” I take my cell out of my bag. “I’m taking you to your father. Sit!” I point to my and Jennifer’s empty chair.
The Collar of Sacrifice Page 3