Carpet Diem

by Justin Lee Anderson

  “No, it’s the other pair’s. The stuck up one and the tart.”

  “Daniel and Lily?”

  “There you go.”

  “Oh.”

  Simon sat back on the bed.

  “Oh my God. We did it. Harriet, we did it.”

  Harriet smiled broadly.

  “We did indeed, twinkle-toes. We fucking did indeed.”

  “Where’s Cherry?” he asked after a moment.

  “In her cabin, resting.”

  “Why? What’s wrong?”

  “Apparently she can’t teleport into water, so she had to teleport above you and swim down. To get up speed, she teleported pretty high up. Even then, she almost ran out of breath getting to you. Once she got hold of you … well, she didn’t have a lot left. And she still had to poof you both back here, so…”

  “So … what?”

  “It took a lot out of her. She’s pretty wiped out.”

  “Can I see her?”

  “I imagine she’d like that. But hoi, you take it easy too, sunshine. You nearly copped it as well. And then where would we be, eh?”

  Harriet showed an uncommon sense of decorum by leaving the room and allowing Simon a chance to get dressed in private.

  He looked out the porthole at the water and the sun. It was a beautiful day.

  ----

  Simon knocked lightly at the door and opened it tentatively.

  “Hello?”

  Cherry was sitting up in bed, raised up on pillows. She seemed to be asleep.

  He came in quietly, shut the door, moved over to the bed and stood looking down at her. He’d never before experienced the feeling that comes when the only girl you’ve been intimate with in the last 15 years risks her life to save yours. He reached out to touch her face, but stopped short, afraid to wake her.

  She smiled.

  “Hey, Aquaman, how ya doin’?” she asked, quietly.

  She opened her eyes to see him grinning widely.

  “I’m great,” he answered, honestly. “Thank you so much.”

  He stroked her cheek gently. She winked weakly at him.

  “Well, you know, Faunt would be pretty pissed if I brought you back all dead and bloated.”

  “I suppose he would. Can I do anything for you?”

  “Well, I hear we have a few hours on this boat. Wanna get some popcorn and watch a movie?”

  She nodded to the remote control on her bedside table. Simon couldn’t see a TV in the room. Cherry nodded upwards. It was on the ceiling. It very nearly was the ceiling.

  “I would love that,” Simon smiled. “I’ll get some popcorn.”

  “You're on top of the blanket, though. No taking advantage of me in my weakened state.”

  Simon crossed to the door.

  “I promise,” he grinned back at her.

  “You're at least going to have to buy me dinner first, next time.”

  Simon closed the door and smiled.

  “Next time.”

  ----

  Harriet came up the stairs, back into the sunshine on deck. Daniel, sociable as ever, had opted to pilot the boat. Lily was deep in conversation with Cassandra. Bob and Amelia were doing 'Titanic' up at the front of the boat. Sean was sunbathing. Prisoner was at the back, watching the island disappear in the distance.

  She sat on the lounger next to Sean’s.

  “All right, sexy?”

  It was an apt description. Even with a few interesting looking scars, Sean looked good.

  “All right, love? If I’d known this was the lifestyle you were accustomed to, it would have made it an even easier decision to come with you, I tell you.”

  “Yeah. About that: listen…”

  Sean sat up and raised his sunglasses.

  “It’s OK. Look, I’m not asking anything from you. You want to call this a holiday fling, that’s fine with me, love. I didn’t just come for you. I like Bob and Simon, and Amelia’s an old mate. You guys are sorta fun to hang out with, if a little dangerous. So don’t stress. You’re a free woman. You want to come find me and have some fun, a few beers, you know where I am. Now, it seems like an awfully nice day to be wearing as much as you are. Don’t you think?”

  Harriet smiled and stood up to leave.

  “Where ya goin'?”

  “To get us a couple of margaritas, Cocky O’Big head. I’ll be right back.”

  “Margaritas?” Sean said to the sky. “Deadly.”

  “You know what?” Prisoner had appeared at his side.

  “What’s that, mate?”

  “Looking back now, I think I may have been mistaken.”

  “How d’you mean?” the Irishman asked.

  “That ain’t my island, after all.”

  ----

  Gabby woke up to an empty bed. She was aware Luke had had a fitful night. He hadn’t wanted to sleep, but she insisted. They were both exhausted, and Debovar was hardly going to steal Priest’s wife from under his nose in one night, was he?

  Luke had woken her several times, moving around – first in bed, then around the room. He must have gone for a walk.

  It was early. The sun was up. It was a new day. Today, they started again, with a new plan to prevent Debovar and his friends from kidnapping Cassandra.

  She’d already decided, for herself, on a nuclear option, if necessary. She would tell Priest everything.

  It was risky. Priest was a law unto himself. He could go either way. They could all end up dead. Or just some of them. Or, he could be an ally, who would help them solve the problem. Unfortunately, it really was like firing a gun in a dark, crowded room; she had no idea who might die.

  But she had to do it. Luke wouldn’t. He’d probably thought of it, but he was already carrying so much guilt…

  No, it had to be her. And she would do it, happily, if they couldn’t find another way. The decision, the knowledge that she had a backup plan, was calming. She decided to go out and pick up some coffee and croissants for when Luke came back.

  Or maybe that’s where he had gone?

  She got up and found some clothes to throw on.

  As she was on the verge of leaving, Luke returned. He was, indeed, carrying coffee, but he looked as though he’d forgotten it was there. His face was pale and drawn. Bless him, he’d clearly hardly slept at all.

  “Sit down,” he said darkly.

  “Why?” Gabby asked, doing it anyway.

  “Because I wish I’d been sitting when I heard this.”

  He handed her a coffee and sat beside her.

  “We’ve blown it. It’s over. We’ve lost.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “They’re gone. It’s all over the island. They escaped last night; with Cassandra and Amelia.”

  Gabby felt the world tilt beneath her. She was indeed glad to be sitting down. With no other options available, she did the one thing that came instinctively; she hugged him.

  “I’m so sorry,” she said.

  “Me too.”

  They sat like that for an age, in silence.

  Finally, Luke sat upright.

  “There is one last option.”

  “What?” Gabby asked, intrigued.

  ... “We run.”

  CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

  “Good afternoon, everyone. And welcome back.”

  Faunt opened the door wide. It was quite a sight. The last time he’d seen Simon here, he’d been hunched over and practically hiding behind Daniel and Lily. Now, there he stood, proudly front and centre, flanked by nine other people.

  “Quite an entourage you’ve collected, Simon.”

  Faunt spread his arms and welcomed the ex-hermit with a bear hug worthy of an old friend. Simon gladly reciprocated. He was very pleased to be back. The smell of pine was comforting.

  “It’s crazy, isn’t it?” he whispered to Faunt. “I’m not sure how it happened.”

  Faunt held him out and smiled at him. “I know you’re not.” He held his gaze for a moment, before welcoming the remaining gu
ests in, one by one.

  Cherry got an especially long hug; Daniel a polite handshake.

  “Cassandra, my love, I never thought I’d see you again.”

  She stepped up to him and hugged him, with a kiss on each cheek.

  “I can honestly say I didn’t think I’d be seeing you again either.”

  They smiled at each other. There was something old and familiar about that look. Who knew what unspoken messages were passing between them? Simon had reunited them. Well, with a little help.

  Cassandra stepped inside to allow the last of the guests to enter.

  “Good afternoon, Prosper, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

  Prisoner stepped back a pace.

  “Come again?”

  Faunt smiled. Your name is Prosper Delassixe, and you are an excellent chef, specialising in Creole cuisine. I’d love to try your Jambalaya.”

  Prisoner’s eyes opened wide.

  “Now ain’t that the kind of thing a man ought to know about his’self? They weren’t lying when they said you knew everything, Mr Faunt.” He took Faunt’s hand and shook it vigorously.

  “I don’t suppose you would be kind enough to tell me where my island is, would you?” he asked, conspiratorially. “I seem to have … misplaced it.”

  “I’m sure we can come to an arrangement. Do you play Yahtzee?”

  “I have no idea,” Prosper answered, stepping inside.

  “Prosper!” he announced to the group with a satisfied flourish. “I told you it started with a P!”

  ----

  Pleasantries concluded, the group stood in the entrance hall, milling slightly aimlessly.

  “So, Faunt, you know why we’re here. Can we get down to business, please?”

  Of course, it was Daniel who was in a rush.

  “First, It would be bad manners for me not to offer you all some lunch,” Faunt said. “After all, it is lunch time.”

  Simon had secretly hoped they’d get to eat here. He wasn’t sure what he was in the mood for, but Faunt’s meals were always perfect.

  “We don’t really have time,” the angel objected. “It really would be better if we could just get going.”

  Faunt opened the doors to the dining room, where a dozen chairs were also milling around a huge table laden with a veritable banquet of food. Meats, cheeses, breads, pastries – everything one could conceivably be in the mood for, for lunch.

  “It would be a shame to waste Jean Claude’s efforts, don’t you think?” Faunt asked.

  Before he could answer, everyone with an appetite had crowded into the room and was busily catching themselves a seat. Faunt followed them in and took his place at the head of the table.

  “What difference does it make?” Lily asked the distinctly huffy Daniel. “Right now; after lunch – you expecting the apocalypse at any moment?”

  She went in to join the rest. Daniel followed, with a sigh. Patience was clearly not his virtue of choice.

  ----

  After a lunch that was largely spent recounting tales of what had happened on the island - ostensibly for Faunt’s benefit - the host, Daniel, Lily and Simon retired to the library for coffee and a private chat.

  “OK,” Faunt began. “Simon, you have fulfilled your end of the bargain. And may I say you did a remarkable job; you and your friends.”

  “Thank you,” Simon answered.

  “Now, your payment is the location of the Holy Rug of Djoser, correct?”

  Simon looked uncomfortably at Daniel and Lily. In all honesty, he’d be very happy never to see that rug again. Though he did rather miss looking down at it, in the way that you miss a childhood friend you haven’t thought about in years when you find a photo of the two of you eating ice cream in the sun. Perhaps, really, it was the lack of responsibility he missed; the innocence.

  He sort of missed home, too. Only sort of. While the familiarity of it was appealing - in the same way people who have spent all year looking forward to going on holiday are bizarrely desperate to get home after two weeks - there was something now … mundane about it. In his mind, it was grey; grey and cold.

  He raised his coffee to his face and breathed deeply. Hazelnut.

  “Honey, you need to actually say ‘yes’.”

  Simon had forgotten he had been asked a question.

  “What happens if I say ‘no’?” he asked, sipping the coffee.

  Faunt sat back in his chair, smiling. “That’s not up to me, I’m afraid.”

  “I beg your pardon?” Daniel asked, like a headmaster whose student has just asked him whether or not his mother had ever tried to claim a refund.

  “What if I say no?” Simon repeated.

  “You can’t say no.” Lily answered. “You just can’t.”

  The cold, hard edge in her voice made it very clear to Simon that this may be the last choice he ever made, should he choose to make it. Fair enough. At least he knew where the cards had fallen.

  He turned back to Faunt. “Yes. Please.”

  Manners cost nothing, after all.

  “OK,” Faunt sat forward again. The Holy Rug of Djoser is currently on Dorchester Avenue, Edinburgh, Scotland.”

  The room remained stoically silent.

  “Pardon?” Simon asked.

  “Dorchester Avenue, Edinburgh,” Faunt replied.

  “No, no it’s not.” Simon answered. “See, it was there, but now it’s … not.”

  “Forty-three Dorchester Avenue,” Faunt added.

  “Across the road?” Simon asked, bewildered. “My neighbours stole it? Why would my neighbours steal it?”

  “That is not the question, Mr Debovar,” Daniel interrupted. “The question is,” he looked at Lily, “who are his neighbours?”

  Lily nodded sagely. Clearly, that was the question.

  “There you have it,” Faunt stood up. “You have your answer, I have my payment. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have guests to attend to.”

  He turned to Simon. “Mr Debovar,” he mimicked the angel’s tone out of sheer devilment, “you are welcome to stay as long as you like.”

  Simon gulped. He looked at Daniel and Lily.

  “Thank you. Honestly, I think I’d really just like to get this over with, if you don’t mind. But I’d be very happy to come back sometime, if that’s OK?”

  “Anytime you want to come, I’ll send someone for you,” he answered.

  “Faunt, would you be kind enough to lend us your teleporter?” Daniel asked, smiling.

  Faunt turned at the door.

  “I’m afraid not, sorry. I need her to do something else for me this afternoon.”

  Daniel furrowed his eyebrows. He really was used to getting what he wanted.

  “Your car is still parked outside though, and I have had it washed and valeted during lunch,” he bowed slightly and left the room, backwards, closing the door behind him.

  Daniel gave Lily a look which Simon interpreted as 'suspicious'. Was Faunt up to something? Simon very much hoped so.

  “Would you mind if I say goodbye before we go?” he asked.

  “Sure, honey,” Lily answered. “We’ll be in the car.”

  Simon followed Faunt out the door.

  “What’s he doing?” Daniel asked.

  “He’s not obliged to help us, you know,” Lily answered. “Chill out. What can he do?”

  “If there is anyone on this bloody planet who is capable of finding something to do, it is him. I don’t trust him.”

  “OK. Tell you what. You stay here and try to figure it out. I’ll be in the car. First one there gets to drive, right?”

  Lily left Daniel alone in the room. He looked up at the portraits Faunt had on the wall. All these irrelevant people immortalised in oil.

  What a waste.

  ----

  “Of course I’m coming. So’s Sean, aren’t you?” Harriet had seemed genuinely surprised that Simon hadn’t realised she would want to go with him. It simply hadn’t occurred to him.

  “Sure, if that�
��s OK,” the Irishman confirmed.

  “I guess,” Simon said. He assumed that since Daniel and Lily would each want him to choose their respective offer for the Rug, they’d be unlikely to refuse to let his friends come if he asked.

  “Ace,” said Sean. “When do we leave?”

  “Em, now, I think.”

  “I’d come, but Faunt needs me for something,” Cherry said. “But I’ll come see you soon, huh? There’s some cool places I want to show you.”

  “I’d like that,” said Simon.

  She kissed him gently on the cheek. “Take care of yourself.”

  “We’re staying here, for now,” Bob said. “Until we figure out what else to do.”

  “But good luck,” Amelia added. “I hope it all works out for you.”

  “Me too,” Simon said – stating, he felt, the bleeding obvious. He wasn’t good at goodbyes. He wasn’t used to them.

  “Right then, shall we go?”

  “Come on then,” Harriet said, downing the last of her drink. “Once more onto the beach!”

  ----

  Faunt closed the door behind him. Simon and the others had been gone only a matter of minutes before he and Cassandra had found an excuse to slip away. It hadn’t been hard for the long-estranged couple to explain a desire to be alone.

  “So, do you want to tell me why I’m here?” she asked, grabbing a chair and placing it next to Faunt’s straw bed.

  “You mean you don’t understand why a man would want to rescue his long-estranged wife at a time like this?”

  “You could have rescued me a long time ago. And don’t think I don’t realise that. So…”

  “Priest does present a unique challenge. Even for me.”

  “Uh huh. So when you finally decide to save me, you send a baby? That boy can barely look after himself! How he got off the island in one piece, never mind brought me with him, is a mystery. There are plenty of others you could have sent. Calderon, for a start!”