Finding the Way Back

by Jill Bisker

  As I waited for the coffee maker to warm up I thought about the day I had ahead of me. Today was the day I became a single woman again. It was actually a bit depressing when I thought too much about it. There was that slight feeling of failure or quitting, thinking that there must have been something I could have done differently. But I pushed that thought out of my head. Sometimes things just don’t turn out like you expect, Connie had said to me. That was the way I was going to look at it. I was changing my name back as well, which would be strange too. In one fell swoop I would be Elaine MacKenzie again. My mother had never called me by my married name anyway so there wouldn’t be any change for her.

  I took my coffee with me and went to search for towels upstairs. There would be no repeat of yesterday’s shower fiasco. Finding a linen closet in the hallway, I snatched a threadbare towel from the middle shelf and quickly slammed the door, ignoring the rest of the stuff that threatened to engulf me in an avalanche.

  Searching through my suitcase, I tried to find something classy to wear to the lawyer’s office. I missed my walk-in closet. It had been an organized, attractive space, drawers for smaller pieces of clothing, small cubbies for purses, a shoe rack, shelves for sweaters, and multiple length hanging rods. Actually, I missed my closet more than I missed Simon. I found a blouse that wasn’t too wrinkled and a pair of gray dress slacks to wear with flats. Taking my towel, clothes and my dignity I forced myself down to the shower.

  Finishing my shower without an assault by an army of spiders or the walking dead, I dressed as fast as I could and ran for the stairs, making a short detour to throw my towel in the washer. I would come back with more of the musty-smelling towels later so I would have a full load to run.

  Connie was in the kitchen when I walked through and we said a short good morning to one another. She was on her first cup of coffee, and she looked the way I felt before my first cup. Morning conversations before coffee were verboten. I eased myself around her and went on my way.

  Upstairs again, I blow-dried my hair and carefully applied my make-up. I looked through my overnight bag to see what jewelry I had with me. I sure wasn’t going to wear my wedding ring, but my grandmother’s opal was perfect. I wanted to look professional and together, my armor fully in place. I decided to curl my hair for a change, a sign of the new me. Heading downstairs again I met Connie at the base of the stairway.

  “Wow! Look at you! You look gorgeous! I don’t know if I’ve ever seen you curl your hair.” Connie pantomimed waving a fan at herself and teased me. “I am overtaken by your beauty, Lizzy,” referring to our conversation from the night before.

  “I think you should look your best when you are signing your divorce papers. You know, give him something to regret,” I replied sarcastically, tossing my long tresses.

  “So it’s not for some ghost hunter we know who’s visiting us later?”

  “Do you actually think I would I flirt with someone the day I get divorced?” Was it that obvious?

  “I would if he was as adorable as Emmett,” Connie teased me. Then getting more serious she added, “Do you want me to go with you?”

  “No, that’s okay. I’m sad, of course, it’s the end of something, but I’ll be fine.”

  “If you’re sure. I wouldn’t mind going with you.”

  I put my hand on her arm. “No really, I’m not being a martyr or anything. I can handle this,” I said, straightening my back and pretending to feel stronger than I felt.

  Glancing at the clock, I was startled to see the time. “I have to go, I’m going to be late.” I ran up to my room and grabbed my purse. I slipped on my flats, came down the steps, rummaging in the purse for my keys. Fortunately, it was a shorter drive to the attorney’s office than I expected, and I actually arrived early.

  Walking into the simple, unimpressive office I glanced around, looking for the receptionist. I stood waiting for someone to come out, when I heard voices in the next office. I looked down the hall but didn’t see anyone. I followed the voices and turned a corner, finding a glass-enclosed conference room dominated by a long table and chairs. A young woman in a short skirt with long dark hair falling halfway down her back was coyly sitting on the end of the table, a good deal of leg visible. Standing very close to her was Simon, lightly brushing his hand against her cheek. Discomfited, I stopped quickly and took a step backward. Simon pulled away from the woman and our eyes locked. I felt my blood begin to boil.

  His blond, shaggy hair lay tumbled across his forehead, a wolf in sheep’s clothing. He looked casual and unassuming, but he spent an hour every morning working to achieve that look. Apparently it worked on a lot of sheep.

  The receptionist slid out of the doorway, averting her eyes, and walked back toward the front desk. He was acting true to form, but it wasn’t my problem anymore. Nevertheless, I still didn’t like it.

  “What are you doing here, Simon?” I tried to be as civil as I could, which, under the circumstances, was nearly impossible.

  “I wanted a word with you before you signed your papers. Marcus said I could talk with you privately if I got here early. Here, let’s go in this conference room.”

  “Is that where you take all the girls?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

  “Come on, Laney, you know me better than that.”

  “Yes, I know exactly how you are.” Everything inside of me was screaming not to talk to him. But I just took a deep breath and followed him into the room. “So what do you want to talk to me about?”

  “Laney, I’ve been thinking lately and I’m just not sure we’re doing the right thing.” He gave me his best puppy dog look. How often in the past had I fallen for this man’s game?

  “Seriously? I’m sure I’m doing the right thing. I should have been sure when I caught you in my bed with my best friend, but because I’m an idiot it took me longer than that. But you will never change. And now I’m sure, the end of our marriage was never my fault. I didn’t think I could have been more sure, but then I walked in, and here you were, up to your same old smarmy tricks with someone else. Believe me, I’m positive. Now please leave, I have papers to sign.”

  “Laney, I was just brushing—”

  “Leaving. You were just leaving. Good-bye, Simon.” I sat down at the table. “By the way, does Pamela know you’re here?”

  Simon paled. “Laney,” he started once more then thought better of it. And then he turned and walked right out of my life. Well, maybe not exactly, but I loved the poetry of the words.

  I exhaled loudly, not realizing I’d been holding my breath. Why did I let that man make me feel this way? I thought of the close relationship I was rebuilding with Connie. I thought of the possibility of something with Emmett. I no longer needed to put up with any of Simon’s juvenile behavior. I could be my own person again. I still remembered the seriousness with which Emmett told me he would never tell me what to do. Well, neither would anyone else. The ten years I had with Simon were little more than an extended high school romance, fragile and vulnerable to the next cute thing to come along.

  Marcus Andrews came in and started with a cursory greeting, then stopped and looked at me. “Is everything okay?” Apparently my face betrayed the turmoil that was churning in my mind.

  I looked up at him, took a deep breath and smiled. And in that moment, I knew, and I answered with complete honesty. “I’m fine, thank you. Where do I sign?”

  It took a surprisingly short amount of time to end ten years of a relationship, and then I was out the door a free woman. I couldn’t believe how great that felt. Free. Never again would I let any man talk me down. Ever. I was woman, hear me roar.

  Chapter Sixteen

  I walked out of the attorney’s office and gazed in dismay at the sky. The rain was coming down in buckets and the temperature must have dropped ten degrees. I didn’t have my coat, and I didn’t have an umbrella. “I was feeling so good, did you have to rain on my parade?” I shouted at the sky. An older couple gave me disapproving glances as they wal
ked past me into the building. I smiled at them in spite of their frowns. Disapprove all you want, I won’t be altered one bit by it.

  I ran through the parking lot to get to my car. Of course, the only available parking spot when I arrived was in the farthest corner of the lot. I dashed between the vehicles, trying to navigate the shortest possible distance I could manage. As I emerged from between two cars a truck rushed past me right through a deep puddle. A muddy mixture of water and road dirt sprayed me from head to foot. I gasped, stunned, but continued forward. Moving more carefully I crossed over toward my car.

  Fumbling in my purse, I finally found my keys as the rain continued to come down. I slung my purse over my shoulder and tried to unlock the door quickly. By this time, my hands were sopping and the keys slid through my fingers to land in a puddle at my feet. I leaned over to fish them out, and my purse slid off my shoulder, landing next to my keys. I picked up both my keys and my now-sopping purse and tried to unlock the door. But now the key wouldn’t turn. Damned car. Why now? I ran around to the other side of the car to try that door and this time it unlocked for me. I threw myself into the car and pulled the door shut behind me in an effort to keep out as much of the rain as possible. What else was ruined? Shoes for sure, probably my slacks and blouse as well. I climbed over the middle gear changer lever thing and plopped into my seat, then started the car and turned the heat on high. I was shivering so hard by this time I could hardly put my car in reverse. My teeth chattered and I turned on the windshield wipers then realized it had just stopped raining. I was ready to get home.

  I drove back to the house and pulled into the driveway just in time for Emmett to pull up behind me. Nice. If it wasn’t for bad luck, I wouldn’t have any luck at all today. I was afraid to see myself at this point so I didn’t even bother looking in the rearview mirror. With a sigh I opened my door and stepped out.

  Emmett was walking up to my car when he stopped short and smiled. “Caught in the rain?”

  I took one look at him and tears came to my eyes. Maybe this was a sign. I was forever destined to look ridiculous to him. I was ungraceful, unattractive, unable to keep from making a fool of myself. “Go ahead and laugh,” I challenged him. “I’m sure you’re thinking how horrible I look.”

  “Well, no, I wasn’t thinking that at all,” he said with a puzzled expression. “Actually I was thinking, um ... uh, never mind. I’m sorry, go ahead,” he gestured. “I’m sure you want to get inside and change clothes.”

  I held back the welling tears and turned and headed for the house. Glancing back I saw Connie pull up. She got out of her car looking pristine and beautiful, like she just walked off the cover of a magazine. Emmett greeted her with a hug and they started shooting the breeze. Watching them together, I felt even more foolish as it dawned on me. Connie was the real reason he was involved in our drama. She was the person he was interested in.

  I dropped my drenched wet shoes and socks on the porch, and walked into the house heading straight for my room. I was still shivering and needed to get in the shower before I froze to death. Once inside, I stopped short at the stairway as I saw the disarray in the study. There were books, papers and miscellaneous items all over the floor as if a cyclone had been through it. I walked into the room and picked up one of the papers and looked at it. It was one of the check stubs I’d seen in the desk. The stamp I found was still on the corner where I left it. Who did this? I didn’t know what to make of it. Was this paranormal or was somebody in here?

  I heard Emmett and Connie walk into the house, laughing and talking, carrying bags of groceries and other supplies.

  “Connie, have you seen this?” I asked.

  “Seen what? Oh!” She saw the chaos in the study and looked at me in alarm. “What happened?”

  “I have no idea.” I walked toward the kitchen and felt a cold breeze hit me as I turned the corner. The back door stood wide open.

  “Connie, did you leave the back door open?”

  “Of course not,” she answered as she and Emmett came in behind me. “You okay, Laney?” she asked, noticing my appearance.

  “I’m fine. I just had a little mishap. I’ll be fine after I get a shower.” My dignity was crushed but I could pretend it wasn’t. “At first I just thought this was another one of those funny things happening around here but now I think maybe someone was in the house. Or is still here.”

  “You two wait here. I’ll check it out,” Emmett responded.

  “I don’t think so, don’t you watch scary movies? If you split up, nothing good happens. We’re coming with you.”

  Connie closed and locked the back door. “The door wasn’t kicked in and it doesn’t look like the lock was jimmied.” Emmett examined the door as well and agreed, then we headed upstairs. It didn’t take long to confirm that there was no one there.

  “We should check the basement too, but if anyone was here I think they’re long gone by now,” Emmett said.

  I grabbed a change of clothes and as many musty towels from the closet as I could carry, and followed Emmett and Connie to the basement. A quick perusal proved no one was there either.

  “Great, now I can take another shower,” I said as I headed toward the stall. I’d have to soak what I was wearing, but I could throw a load of towels in. I kept one out to use after my shower and threw the rest in the battered washing machine. I looked at Connie and Emmett pointedly.

  “Do you think someone has keys to get in?” Connie asked.

  “The house is seventy-five years old, I think a lot of people could have keys. Can we talk about this after my shower?” I asked, getting a little irritated. I just wanted to be alone and get cleaned up.

  “Sure, Laney, go ahead. We’ll head upstairs.” She and Emmett went up the stairs and I took a long, hot shower. I wasn’t even going to worry about spiders. I had a little pity party for myself with a double shampoo and deep conditioning as the prize.

  It’s always amazing how a simple shower can improve one’s outlook on life. Feeling a hundred times better and dressed in dry jeans and shirt, I put my towels in the dryer and threw my wet clothing in the washer and set it on soak. I would need to wash them several times but the mud might already be set. I would have just thrown them out but it was one of my favorite outfits and I didn’t have a lot of clothing with me. Eventually I’d have to get to my mother’s house and pick up some more things I’d stored with her after moving out of my old house.

  On arriving upstairs in the kitchen again, I decided I really deserved another cup of coffee. I was exhausted from the lack of sleep as well as the emotional toll of the day.

  Connie soon joined me. “Emmett said he’ll be back later, but he said they caught some interesting things on their equipment. The crew is all coming over this evening to show us. He just stopped over to let us know. He left while you were in the shower.”

  “I hope we don’t have to feed them again. He could have used that thing called a telephone instead of just dropping in,” I said, adding sugar and cream to my coffee. “Doesn’t he have a job? What was he doing here in the middle of the morning?”

  “He works from a home office so he can be flexible.” Connie looked at me and started to say something then seemed to think otherwise. “Are you okay? Did everything go well at the lawyer’s office?”

  “I don’t even know where to start. Simon showed up.”

  “What? What was he doing there?”

  “Besides putting the moves on the receptionist? Thoroughly annoying me.”

  “You’re kidding!”

  “No, he actually had his hands on her. Then he had the nerve to tell me he wanted me back.”

  “No way! That slimeball! What did you say to him?”

  “I said I finally saw him for what he was, and that I was sure the divorce was the right thing to do. Then I signed the papers.”

  “Good for you. I can’t believe he had the guts to even show up.”

  “Shocking, isn’t it? When Simon and I first started bre
aking up, all I did was cry. Then I hardened myself to it, and I tried to be independent and strong on my own. I’m still not sure what I’m going to do, but I’ll make it one way or another.”

  “We’ll make it together,” Connie said. “You don’t have to do this alone. You’re better off without him.”

  “I know I am. And I’m okay with it. It’s just a bit of an adjustment.”

  “I’ll bet you didn’t eat any lunch. How about I make us some lovely salads? I haven’t had any vegetables for days so I got some fresh produce at the store.”

  “That sounds wonderful. I’ll help. We need our strength to get through the rest of the day if we aren’t going to get a nap.”

  * * * *

  The dumpster was delivered as we finished our salads and we headed out behind the house to help them find a good place to put it. The yard was fairly large with ancient oaks and overgrown landscaping. The old garage sat in one corner of the lot and an old chokecherry tree sat in the other. The only thing worth saving on the lot was the chokecherry. I had visions of making jam in the fall but didn’t know if I would still be there. I was starting to see a future in this old place. Remodeling takes so long anyway, I comforted myself. Perhaps I could drag my feet a bit.

  I realized I hadn’t explored the backyard yet and walked up to the old garage. Wiping the dirt off the outside of the window I tried to peer inside. The grime on the inside made it too difficult to see anything. Rounding the garage, I saw the double doors that faced the alley, the sagging, weathered wood resting on the ground in the center. I tried lifting and pulling at the same time to open them, but to no avail. It was likely fastened shut from the inside. I went around to the side entry door and turned the knob—it was locked. Fine. Not knowing where the key was, I’d save that project for another day. Connie was talking with the man dropping off the dumpster and it looked like she was handling it so I left her to it and went inside.

  I needed to check on my laundry so I headed toward the basement and marched down the stairs. I was hoping one more wash would get my clothes from that morning clean. Some things in life seemed to need a few extra washings to get the stains out. I started the washing machine then started to get that queer feeling again. I turned around quickly, with my hands up in a defensive mode. Naturally, there was no one there, but it felt like someone was watching me. I stood still for a moment, scanning the basement, watching for any movement, listening. But there was only the rumble of the washing machine behind me.