The Story of Us

by Logan Meredith

  “I’ll come with you. Or better yet, come home with me.”

  Lucas’ eyes darkened like an approaching storm but he nodded slowly.

  I led him out of the classroom and drove home with an eye focused on his car in my rearview mirror. We parked in my driveway and, silently, Lucas followed me into my home and took a seat on the couch.

  For our relationship to work, I couldn’t be afraid to ask why he looked so drained. Part of me prayed someone else was responsible. I ripped the Band-Aid off my emotionally hairy brain.

  “Did you film today?”

  His head lifted, and I frowned at the doubt in his eyes. “I thought we don’t talk about it?”

  I didn’t want to know, but I needed to. “Tell me.”

  “Yes, I filmed today.”

  “Are you tired?”

  He fought a smile and failed. “Actually, yes. I had to pull off some pretty strenuous positions because they couldn’t film my back.” I could hear the playfulness teed up in his voice, kicking the tires on the topic.

  “Are you hungry?”

  He nodded, and I ventured into the kitchen and plucked out cartons of leftover Chinese food. Minutes later, he joined me. “Do you want the beef and broccoli or the pork lo mein?”

  “I’ll take the pork,” Lucas answered, opened the cabinets and extracted plates. He took over warming the food while I set the table.

  We ate in uncomfortable silence across from each other until I couldn’t stand it any longer. “I think we need new rules.”

  Lucas sat back in his chair and searched me. He bit his lip, and his smile approached a wattage that illuminated the new darkness we’d stumbled into. “I think we need to stop making rules.”

  I considered that. “No, we definitely need rules, just not the old ones.”

  “Okay. What are the rules then, Daddy?”

  I rolled my eyes. It was so not the time. “I think I should stop pretending you didn’t have sex with someone else today and you should stop pretending that having sex for money is like any other day at the office.”

  He mulled that over for a beat. “Are you saying that you want to keep dating?”

  “Yes. I don’t want to end things. I want to figure this out. I’m not sure how.”

  “Do I get to add rules?”

  “Sure.”

  “You have to open your mind.”

  “I’m trying,” I confessed. “I spent the better part of this morning thinking about Matt.”

  Lucas recoiled, and I explained. “Why we broke up, rather. One of the reasons he wasn’t the one is because we didn’t truly merge.” I explained the issues Matt and I’d had and added, “I want to know about your life, Lucas. I want to know how you spent your day, even if it’s hard to hear.”

  Lucas stood and hauled me up to my feet. He placed his hands on either side of my face and held me in his gaze. “Kyle, I love you.”

  My heart skipped a beat when he kissed me. He slipped his tongue over mine, and I lost myself in the pleasure of his touch. We parted, and I decided to give my brain a break. It had a terrible track record of reliability anyway. I said aloud what my heart had decided weeks ago. “I love you too.”

  After we cleaned up dinner, Lucas led me to my bedroom with his laptop by his side. I wasn’t sure what to expect. Lucas’ smile had grown dirtier as the reality of our decision settled in.

  “We have homework,” Lucas connected his laptop so that it displayed on my television screen. “We need to review the industry from all perspectives, including the consumer.”

  “Yes,” I agreed. “Lucas, I’m not ready to watch your porn.”

  “Not mine,” he blurted, “but I think we should sample the industry. I thought it might be helpful for us to watch high-quality porn, like the stuff my company does, and compare to sites like Pornhub and Chaturbate. Onlyfans might be relevant too.”

  “So, basically, we’re gonna watch a lot of porn.”

  “Well, tonight we will start with something from my studio. I want you to watch a full Goldenboy’s scene. I think it’s important that you understand the different aspects of the market. Some sites have amateur videos and make money by ad revenue. Studios sell memberships and products. There is no shortage of free and pirated porn, so their marketing strategy needs to hit on why people should pay for their memberships. Quality is one of those factors. Exclusive talent, like me, cultivating their fan base is another.”

  “Then?”

  “Then we’ll talk about it.”

  “Okay.”

  “Do you have any preferences?”

  “Besides not seeing you?”

  “Yeah. My company has other guys like me, but we also have some that fall more into the twink category and others who have a lot of ink or piercings. There are a wide variety of themes too—orgies, domination, spanking, toys, threesomes, slings… If you want to see something in particular, we might have it.”

  “Just pick. I trust you.”

  Lucas thought for a minute. He searched the site by model name for a guy named Sebastian Hill. A list of his scenes came up with thumbnails. He resembled Lucas—same age and build, lacking in body hair and tattoos. He wasn’t nearly as well-endowed as Lucas but he was still well above average. He was hot, no question.

  “I chose Sebastian because I’ve never worked with him.”

  I relaxed, although the word ‘work’ to describe what Lucas did made my skin crawl. “Would you?”

  “I don’t pick my scene partners, but the chances are low. I don’t bottom on camera, and he saves that for his boyfriend, but if he ever did decide to bottom, there’s a high chance we would be paired.”

  “Why?”

  “Because we probably have the largest fan base at GB, and they love to pair first on-camera bottoms with me.”

  I laughed. “That’s mean. No one should take your dick for their first time. Don’t they have starter tops?”

  He grinned, clearly enjoying the fact that he could talk to me about his porn and I hadn’t lost my shit. “It sells.”

  “Sex usually does.”

  Sebastian and his scene partner, Cody, a rail-thin boy with a rainbow flag tattoo on his right shoulder blade were first shown having a picnic, almost romantic. The scene progressed to sex on a couch but remained on the tame side. The sex seemed real enough to me. The men kept eye contact in between exaggerated moaning and cursing. Their positions changed a few times, from face to face then chest to back, and finally, Sebastian pounded into Cody bent over the side of the couch. The end of the scene captured my attention. Sebastian and Cody kissed in the missionary position, panting and whispering like they were the only two people in the world. As I watched, Lucas unbuttoned my pants, freed my cock and took me into his mouth.

  The sudden heat and wetness accelerated my arousal, and I ran my fingers through his hair and spread my legs to make more room for him.

  Lucas licked my shaft and smiled at me. “Watch the video,” he reminded me before he closed his lips around me and stroked his hand around the base. I turned my attention back to the television. The cadence of Cody’s breathless curses matched Lucas’ mind-bending rhythm. I closed my eyes and concentrated on the wet frenzied sounds of Cody jacking himself and Sebastian’s balls slapping against his skin.

  Suddenly, Cody released a deep, guttural moan, and I erupted in one powerful convulsion. I opened my eyes to Lucas, still on his knees, licking me clean.

  Lucas observed me while I recovered my breath. I gathered my thoughts and searched for reassuring words. I didn’t want to feel the way I did. I tried to think of sex like eating, a biological necessity to be filled indiscriminately. And I didn’t want Lucas to feel judged. But the joy of my orgasm faded way too quickly and left me only with crushing disappointment.

  The men I’d watched had been connected. That attraction couldn’t be faked. Their bodies had been used for shared pleasure—real pleasure. So, maybe it wasn’t love but I didn’t want to share Lucas with anyone like that. I
didn’t want to think about it. And under no circumstances did I want to see it. I hung my head, and I heard Lucas expel a breath full of frustration.

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered. Lucas whimpered, joined me on my bed and gathered me into his arms.

  “Baby, don’t be sorry.” He stroked my hair and sighed. Although the first battle ended in a loss, we drifted off with his arms tight around me, refusing to concede.

  Chapter Nine

  “So, this is the boyfriend.” Case Everwood greeted us outside the entrance to Goldenboys studios with chaste kisses on both cheeks. Exactly as Lucas had described, Case resembled a gayer, younger version of Tom Brady. I wondered if he had spent much time in front of the camera. Lucas’ boss and his husband, Robert, co-owned the company. Lucas had explained that Case managed the creative aspects and directed the scenes while Robert handled the business side, including hiring models and dealing with the website. While I stood by awkwardly, Case examined me and smiled approvingly at Lucas. “He’s as delicious as you described.”

  Blushing, I entered the studio and followed Case around for an impromptu tour. The large warehouse had unfinished ceilings and lacked any of the polish you’d expect from the headquarters of a successful business. In the front of the space were a reception desk and several offices with four walls and no ceilings. Case led us to a large room with a pool table, big-screen television, shelves of video games and consoles, a popcorn machine and a refrigerator. Snacks filled the counter that ran along the back of the room. Except for the video games and the current lone occupant, it bore a striking resemblance to the common room of Kayla’s sorority.

  A man with stunning, big brown eyes and a body that belonged in an advertisement for Gold’s Gym lounged on the leather couch, holding a PlayStation controller. “What’s up, Tommy?”

  Lucas’ eyes flicked briefly to me before he answered. “Hey, Evan. Not much. This is my boyfriend, Kyle.” He looped his arm through mine and squeezed me in a side hug.

  “Hey.” Evan waved with his free hand without lifting his eyes from the game.

  “This is where the models hang out,” Case said. “Evan, let me finish this tour, and we’ll get started. Have you seen Sam?”

  Evan’s turn toward Case moved his robe just enough to expose his lap. I sucked in a breath and averted my eyes from Evan’s uncircumcised penis to Lucas. Heat spread like lava through my body.

  “Yeah. He’s douching,” Evan said. “Hey, Tommy, is your new boy gonna film?”

  I whipped my head back to Evan and his exposed junk. Lucas placed a hand on my shoulder and squeezed. His touch grounded me. The corners of Lucas’ eyes crinkled. “No, he’s just taking a tour,” he said with a nervous laugh.

  An explosion followed by machine-gun fire distracted Evan from Lucas’ answer. “Fuck. Die, asshole,” he shouted at the television and pounded buttons on the controller. “Case, put me down for a scene request with him.”

  Case and Lucas shared a knowing glance. “Ignore him,” Case said.

  Lucas patted my shoulder and led me out of the lounge. “I’m sorry about that.”

  I swallowed. “Have you…?” I cleared my throat. “Um… Have you worked with him?”

  To his credit, Lucas didn’t bat an eye. “Yes. Evan and I have filmed a few times together and in group scenes.”

  Case chuckled and rapped his knuckles on a door. “Sam, you about ready? Do I need to shave your hole?”

  The door swung open, and Sam, a tall, lanky boy with sharp facial features and bloodshot eyes, appeared, wearing a robe and carrying a bong. “Robert already did. My ass looks good enough to eat.” He wagged his eyebrows at Lucas. “Just got to brush my teeth. You know Evan. Boy will eat the booty like groceries, but God forbid your breath isn’t minty fresh.”

  Case laughed. “Add some Visine, would ya? We’re setting up the lights now. Why don’t you grab Evan and get comfortable on set?” Case turned toward Lucas. “Can you finish the tour? I need to grab my camera. Robert’s in his office, and he can answer your school questions. Kyle, it was good to meet you. We have Taco Tuesday tonight. Come meet more of the guys.”

  Case scurried off and left Lucas and I standing at a door. A large sign with bold lettering warned people that they were entering the set and issued an ominous threat not to enter when the red light was illuminated. Lucas opened the door and ushered me inside.

  “This is where we film. Only Case, Robert, the sound guy and the models are allowed in here during a shoot.” I followed Lucas while he pointed out aspects of the set and clamped my teeth down on my tongue to keep myself from saying anything stupid. Sam and Evan entered the set behind us and flopped on the bed. They shared a quick peck on the lips, and Evan set up his phone with music. Sam, unbothered by Evan’s focus on his phone, pushed Evan’s robe aside and licked Evan’s dick.

  My heart rate sped up as I whipped my head toward Lucas for an explanation. He cringed and explained. “They’re getting ready for pictures. Let’s go see Robert.”

  “Lucas, can we?” I nodded toward an exit sign. “I need some air.”

  “Yeah. Sure.” Lucas led me to a fenced patio with lawn chairs behind the warehouse. “Sit. Relax for a second.” After I calmed, Lucas squatted in front of me and held my hand. “Do you have questions?”

  I nodded.

  “Fire away. I want you to get comfortable with my job, Kyle. Ask me anything.”

  “So, Evan and Sam…”

  Lucas nodded as though he’d anticipated the issue. I almost believed Lucas about on-camera sex—the audience, interruptions and the technical aspects would minimize intimacy, but he hadn’t mentioned any ‘warm-up’ activity. I couldn’t help but wonder about the line. What about the night before? Or hell, the week before? Did he flirt with his colleagues online? Did he send them pictures of his hole and cock and text what he wanted them to do to him like he had me? I took a deep breath and shook my head to remove the images.

  “Sam’s been in the business about three years, but he’s not an exclusive. He works with other studios. I’ve never filmed with him before, so there’s a chance he tries that with all his scene partners. Based on their Twitters, I think the two of them have a friends-with-benefits thing going on. No one would touch me like that before a scene. We all respect each other’s boundaries here, particularly with guys who are in relationships. And we all know the signs if someone wants to stop for any reason during the sex. Robert is furiously protective of us. Anyone who crossed a line would be shown the door, no hesitation. I’m fortunate to work here, because not all studios are as professional.”

  Okay, that made me feel a tiny bit better. “So, you do pictures together first?”

  “It depends. We usually film some B-roll. That’s the scene set up and pictures on the same day then film the sex the next day. Some scenes don’t have much B-roll. It’s just the sex. I’m guessing that’s what’s happening today. So, they are probably gonna do pictures before sex.”

  “You plan the positions ahead of time?”

  “Yeah. Case talks through the scene with us. We have some input into positions. At the end of the day, Case wants good sex to film, so if we don’t like certain things or if some positions will make us come too fast, he listens to us, but he has a vision for how he wants the scene to progress. I’d say about half is scripted and the rest is letting the models do their thing. Sometimes Case asks us to try out positions. Like, when Evan and I filmed, Case wanted me to pick him up and bounce him on my dick, but it didn’t look good on camera.”

  Lucas lifted his hand to massage the back of my neck. His Adam’s apple bobbed, and I knew we were both feasting on the same memory. Arousal set off tingles under my skin. A shiver traveled down my spine with thoughts of Lucas lifting me off the bed, holding my back against the wall and thrusting hard against my prostate.

  God. The experience had not only opened my eyes to Lucas’ unexpected strength but also my own ability to cling helplessly to him while he’d brought me to perhaps the
most intense orgasm of my life. ‘Hold on to me,’ Lucas had whispered, and I had. I didn’t remember being self-conscious or nervous. I’d just obeyed without hesitation, trusting him to make me feel things I’d never felt before. I swallowed hard, and Lucas leaned forward until his forehead touched mine and breathed with me.

  “Baby,” he sighed before he released me. The same intense gaze I’d followed outside the library the day we met greeted me. Lucas scanned me like he planned to take me right there in the courtyard. Sometimes the feeling of being that desired overwhelmed me, enough that I wasn’t sure I could trust it. After all, I wasn’t a porn star. I didn’t have a tenth of the sex appeal as the men who worked with Lucas. But as much as I didn’t understand it, I couldn’t walk away from it—from him—either. Not again.

  For the first time I’d wondered what would have happened if I hadn’t left that day in the library? If I’d just let him fuck me? Would he even remember me now? Hell, would I remember him as more than a semi-anonymous sexual encounter I told my friends after too much wine? A story they weren’t likely to even believe. Such a random series of events had brought Lucas into my life, and now, after what amounted to a blip of time, really, I couldn’t imagine how I’d feel if I lost him.

  Those sobering thoughts reminded me where I was. I cleared my throat and focused on my surroundings and Lucas, whose face showed more concern than arousal.

  “You okay?” he asked.

  “What do you mean it didn’t look good on camera?”

  Lucas danced his fingers over my scalp while he waited for me to say what was really on my mind, but I let the silence linger on. Eventually, he stood and stretched, letting the moment we shared go without commentary. “The pictures are technical, so we worry about lighting and shit. When we film, less so, because you can only do so much while you’re moving. Case and Robert both have cameras, so they shift to get better angles if they need them. But when I tried the standing position with Evan, he was nervous about being dropped, and you could tell. I couldn’t keep him high enough. His body blocked the view. Basically, it didn’t work for Case, so we scrapped it. My point is that it doesn’t matter what feels good. It’s all about making a good product. All decisions are about that. That’s why it’s so different from real sex. When I’m inside you, I don’t have to think about how it looks…just how it feels. How I make you feel.”