"You can't know that," I snapped, not wanting to believe what I already knew to be true.
"I do. And I know what I have to do." The brief silence did nothing for me to prepare for Owen's honest eyes. "I can give you the babies you've always wanted. You can have as many as you want." He was being very serious and somehow sweet, but it didn't stop me from responding with a full body shudder.
"Let me get this straight. You want to make babies with me?"
"Yes. Exactly," he replied, matter-of-factly. "For you."
"Owen,” I said, with pause. “You are very sweet - a good friend - but you must know that I’m not in love with you. I love you more like a brother and I am deeply in love with Cameron."
"Forget about Cam. You could learn to love me like that. It could work."
I giggled out of anxiety, though I knew it was inappropriate. "Owen…"
He pressed his fingers to my lips. "Not another word." Before I could realize what was going down, he attacked me with an awkward kiss.
Though he tried so hard to make it meaningful, I felt nothing. Looking into his desperate, hazel eyes, I wondered if what he was proposing was so terribly wrong. Edwin wouldn’t give me what I wanted. Cameron couldn’t. We’d both get a loving family out of the deal. Could I learn to love him?
No! What was I saying? I shook my head and closed my eyes. I couldn't live without Cameron, could I?
The room was soundless for a long minute and my mind went blank. Black. Empty. Soon the silence ambushed me with emotion. When I opened my eyes, Owen was staring at me, analysing my every expression. Overcome with nothing but guilt, I pushed my chair back, rolling myself a few feet away from him. I could tell from his expression that he understood my new behaviour.
"Please don't do that ever again,” I said, with pain soaking every word. “This never happened."
Owen – my boss - nodded with understanding and wiped all emotion from his face. "I'm sorry. It won't happen again. I just," he paused and sighed. "I had to try. We could be great together, you know? I want children too and I had planned to have a couple of them by now. There would be lots of love. You would love me for giving you children, Abigail. I know it."
I lowered my head and pressed my fingers across my forehead. "I seriously appreciate your sincerity, but it’s just not going to happen."
Emotional pain was etched in Owen's expression, wrinkling his typically smooth forehead. "Maybe now's a good time to call it a night."
"Yeah, I think we've had enough craziness for one day."
***
WHEN I GOT HOME I let myself in and found Pheobe and Cam sleeping snuggly in her bed. I headed back to Cam's room and shut the door behind me. I ran a bath in the ensuite and pulled out the phone, deciding it was time to make things right with Aliah. I dialed her up and she answered on the first ring.
"Hey. You up for a bitch-fest?"
"Absolutely," she answered. "I thought you'd never ask."
"Just so you know, I plan to do most of the bitching. But you can add in your two cents whenever you want."
"Bring it."
"Let me start by saying I think I'd rather fall on a knife than lose this debate with Cameron. No, I refuse to lose. It's the very reason for my existence."
"Okay, what about a knife?" Aliah asked, confused. "You aren't going all suicidal on me are you?"
I ignored her ridiculous question, feeling more sure of myself now than ever. "I really believed that Cameron was the one, but he's being super difficult about the baby thing. I’m finding it hard to justify staying with him if he refuses to have a family with me, when I rejected Edwin last summer for the very same reason. I have to convince him."
“He’s really that sure he doesn’t want another kid?” Her disbelief startled me.
"Let’s just say a doctor’s taken care of that decision for him. I swear life would be so much easier if I had never met Cam at all."
“Yeah, but if he came to you right now and said let's make babies, you'd be all over him and then live happily ever after."
"I wish."
Hunter was in the background. "Who are you talking to?" he asked Aliah.
"Abby. She's going to break up with Cam."
"Aliah! I never said that," I corrected, but Hunter couldn’t hear me.
"You didn't have to. But at the end of the day, you're the one who has to live with yourself."
I glanced at the closed bathroom door. "I don't want to leave, but he's making it hard to stay. He has to change his mind."
"You can tell yourself whatever you need to, but I can’t see it happening.”
"Thanks for the encouragement,” I moaned. “I'm sure Edwin will have some encouraging words for me too.”
"Don't you dare,” Aliah warned. “You steer clear of Edwin. That's the last thing you need right now. If you want to discover yourself again, then do it. But do it yourself. If you want Cam, then keep Cam."
"You're right."
"I'm always right."
"Don't listen to her," Hunter hollered. "She lies."
"Hunter! You stop that right now," Aliah yelped, in my ear.
"It sounds like you've got your hands full,” I said, smiling. “I'll let you go."
"Hope you figure things out. Now I'm gonna go beat up Hunter for being such an ass. Laters."
I hung up the phone feeling a lot better about things. No matter how mad I was at Cameron for not wanting children, I hadn't stopped loving him, and he wouldn’t be the man I fell in love with if he didn't stand his ground.
***
IT WAS DIFFICULT, BUT I managed to get through the next morning; even with Cameron's hackles raised the entire time. I stared at the clock on my computer, waiting for lunchtime to arrive. I planned on doing lunch somewhere. Anywhere but there.
As the clock flashed 12, I reached for my bag and when I spun around to leave, Edwin was standing there with his jacket on. "Hey!"
My breath hitched. "Oh! Hey, Eddie."
"Do you have plans for lunch?" he asked, all bundled up in preparation for the winter wonderland outside.
"Umm," I mumbled, as I tried to think of a good excuse to stay out of trouble. "Uhh," I said as I struggled to come up with anything worth saying. "Nope. I guess I don't.” I yanked on my jacket and did up the buttons, steadying my trembling hands.
"I’m heading out to Jaci's and wanted to see if I could bring you something back. But since you don’t have any plans, you might as well come with me."
"I don't know." I really, really shouldn't.
"Come on," he coaxed. "I promise, no trouble."
Leaving with Edwin would spell trouble, and yet I couldn’t stop the words from exiting my lips. “I'm starving and I haven't had Jaci's Almond Soo Guy in months.” My brain must have been starving too, because I clearly hadn't thought of the consequences of our friendly lunch date.
"Let's do it then," Edwin said, showing way too much enthusiasm, as he led the way to his truck.
He played nice for a change and with a full belly, all seemed right in the world. When I returned to work after lunch, Cam didn't show the same enthusiasm. Now, even though I hadn’t yet shared Owen’s proposition with Cam, I had to deal with his concerns about sharing me with Edwin too.
The drive home was silent, but I was getting used to that these days. There was always something, and it always stemmed from the same things: Edwin and babies.
To add to the trouble, I told Cam about the past 24 hours. The last thing I needed was him to believe I couldn’t be trusted. To my surprise, he dropped the Edwin thing relatively quickly, totally overcome with irritation from Owen’s actions. His annoyance began to swallow his features, his face turning dark and mean.
After dropping Pheobe off to her art class, I kicked my boots off and settled down for a fight. I patted Cam’s arm to calm him, but he was seeing red and started to pace the living room.
"Please calm down," I pleaded. “It was only a friendly gesture.”
His face looked hard an
d cold. "Why should I calm down? I knew that bastard was going to make a move on you. I warned him. I fucking warned him!"
Everything started spiralling out of control. Cam took off toward the door.
"Stop! What are you doing?" I squealed, making my fear known.
"What's it look like I'm doing? I'm going over to Owen’s house to kick the shit out of him."
"Cam, you don't want to do that."
"Uh, yeah. I definitely do."
"Please don't," I begged.
"Why? Do you love him too now?" He swung his sarcasm at me and I took the blow straight to my heart.
I was crushed and it was like my chest had caved in and punctured my lungs. I stormed past him and slammed one foot into my boot. "That’s it! I'm leaving. For real this time!"
Tears flooded my eyes before I could jam my other foot into my boot. It had felt as though Cam had ripped my life out from under me and left me dangling by the ankle. I couldn't bear to hang around and assess the damage. I whirled away from him and stepped toward the door, but suddenly he was just there.
"Wait. This is not how it ends," he said softly, turning on the charm. "I’m sorry. That was uncalled for."
I swiped the back of my hand across my damp cheek and snuffed unattractively, squinting at him through weary eyes.
Cam wrapped his hands firmly around my upper arms and pleaded with a mesmeric voice. "I love you. I'm just so afraid of losing you."
I blinked away another tear and shook my head, trying to clear my mind. Maybe if he didn't smell so incredibly good it would have been easier to break away and move one foot after the other.
"I love you too, Cam. But we can't keep on like this. This tension between us is killing me, and it's no good for Pheobe either."
"I want you to be happy. It's just…" he broke off, then took a deep breath. "We're good," he said, as if he were trying to convince himself.
Neither of us were convinced.
I managed to press out a smile, but the edges of my lips trembled and it almost hurt to keep it up. "Goodnight, Cam. I will see you tomorrow." With that I pulled away from his hold and he let me go.
When he spoke next, it was as quiet as a whisper. "Don't give up on us."
I slipped on my jacket, slung my purse over my shoulder and turned the icy doorknob. "I never did," I breathed, then walked out the door into the lonely chill of the night.
I felt his desperate gaze scorching my path, but I started my car and left without turning back. I made it half way home before I relived the sting from when Cam made the less than gentle suggestion that I might have a thing for Owen. I knew in my heart that his warning had nothing to do with Owen. He thinks I’m still in love with Edwin. How could he think that?
My tears froze to my cheeks, as I zoomed into my driveway and parked my car. I squinted my eyes, in no shape to face my nightmare, but Jenny magically appeared in the seat next to me and made no move to leave me alone.
"You are not here right now,” I said, not expecting a reply.
“Oh, I’m here alright, sister. So listen up, and listen good. Stay away from Edwin.”
“This isn’t happening,” I told myself, but I knew it truly was. “You died when you were 6."
"And I've been with you ever since. I know that if it were me that had survived the crash, Edwin would have been mine. You don't love him the way I do. It should be me."
"Leave Edwin out of this," I ordered, trying to steer her away from him.
"Oh, but he is involved, whether you like it or not. And you will listen to me."
"And if I don't?"
She shrugged her dainty shoulder, as though she could actually be considered meek or mild. “Tessa's a good example of what will happen if you try to mess with me.” She glanced out the passenger window, without displaying an ounce of emotion."
"No," I cried, softly.
"I had to take care of her. How else was I going to get Cameron to come back to his home town? Pheobe’s lucky I was in a good mood that night. I would've liked to take care of her too."
"No," I whispered again, distraught by the entire notion. Pheobe’s mother had died because of me.
"It had worked like a charm though, didn't it?" she asked, pleased with herself. "It took a little longer than I expected, but I lured him here; to you. I thought it was in the bag."
“What does Cameron have to do with this?"
“You seriously haven’t figured that out already. Oh, Abby. I’ve given you too much credit. Let's just say, you didn't meet by chance. When I discovered him some six years ago, I knew he was just the man for you. I may have had to take care of his wife, but they were on the outs anyway."
I choked on a breath, suddenly feeling very ill. The vomit reached the back of my throat, but I swallowed it down.
"What's the odds that I would find him on our 18th birthday? It was so perfect. I took it as a sign. He was the one," Jenny said.
Tears flooded steadily down my face, but I was unable to vocalize my emotion, only listening as the puzzle put itself together.
"That Pheobe, she's a fighter. I thought for sure I would’ve taken her by now, with all of her accidents. You would’ve thought after the river accident, her fall over the balcony would've done her in."
"Stop!" I screamed, my desperation echoing through the car.
"Oh, you don't want to hear about the others?"
I sobbed, unsure whether I could handle anymore, but she didn't wait for my approval.
"I knew Tanner Bradshaw was a long shot, but he did look totally hot on the beach. I couldn't believe you nixed him so fast. You really are a picky one. I had to bring Wes in, just in case Cam wasn’t going to work out for the long haul."
I began to wonder if my entire life had been all planned out by Jenny. "And Spencer?" I asked, desperate for answers.
"No. You found that one on your own. I knew he was all wrong for you, but at least it killed some time for Cameron to breakdown and move back here."
I glared at Jenny, as she stormed me with her secrets. "Why are you doing this?"
"I already told you. Edwin's mine. Leave him alone and I'll leave you alone. Don't, and you’ll be putting everything you know and love at risk. Your choice," she stated, then vanished in a pool of black, swirling fog.
At the rate my head was spinning, I figured it must have been all in my head. I buried my face in my hands in an attempt to comprehend what I had just learned, but I was so incredibly dizzy. With a deep breath, I tried to grasp reality, only to catch Jenny disappearing into the shadows of my yard, her eyes flashing red.
Feeling at a loss for security, I hurried into my dark, empty house. I took my stairs with a running leap and closed my bedroom door behind me.
Relying on the confines of my own room, to stave off the horrid feelings looming over me, I crawled into my bed and hugged my pillow. It was so quiet that I couldn't fend off my loneliness, and it only got worse by the time I heard a door close downstairs. I buried my face in my soft, fragrant pillow and hoped that it had muffled my sobs enough so Edwin couldn’t hear me.
If he had heard me, he didn’t do anything about it. He probably didn’t even care. I vowed I would get it out of my system tonight, so I could have a fresh start in the morning. I fell asleep with tears still pooling in my eyes.
I awakened from a deep slumber, unsure about how much time had passed. I tried to stretch out my arms to let out a yawn, but quickly realized that I couldn’t move a muscle. There was a stifling weight pinning my body and it made me feel paralyzed. I began to panic, as I tried to move my lifeless limbs. Nothing happened.
I gasped for a breath but my mouth refused to open and I couldn't escape the pressure now bearing down heavily on my chest. Sweat poured from my forehead and my eyes scattered over the space above my bed, as darkness encircled me, slowly swallowing me into the shiny black vortex.
Suddenly, a loud squeal rang in my ears. It sounded like a screaming child. I felt like I was being suffocated by an invisible f
orce with strength much greater than my own. I tried screaming to Edwin, and used every ounce of energy I had to try to move, but was unable to lift a finger. I struggled helplessly, fighting for my self-control, but I couldn’t save myself.
My eyes grew wide with madness and tears blurred my already untrusting vision. I tried to reign in my horror, but I was struggling to stave off the hysteria. Minutes ticked on like hours, as the blackness continued to swirl around me like a dark, stormy night. A hazy, colourless ring of death enveloped me and transported me down a deep, dark tunnel, away from life as I knew it.
A malicious presence continued to haunt me, just out of my range of sight. My mind shuddered, but my body remained limp, when I realized that the abrupt pressure that had just thrust the air from my lungs was that from a body. My eyes strained from their sockets to look at the being pinning me to my death bed.
I was relieved to find a beautiful, little girl, with pale skin and golden-brown hair. She was sitting very still on top of me and seemed to be looking me right in the eye. I wondered if it could have been Pheobe, but I wasn’t able to get a good look at her.
I blinked and squinted, trying to make out her face when suddenly her eyes began to glow red with anger. The fog lifted and my eyes froze open with fright. I tried to scream and punch, but my efforts went unrewarded. The red glowing eyes slowly moved closer, until the familiar face was only inches from mine. Jenny.
Her long, soft hair, tickled my face and sent vicious shivers down my spine. It was like I was looking at myself as a child. She glared at me even harder, looking deep into my soul. I forced a blink and squeezed my eyes closed, hoping to shrink away and shut her out of my lost mind.
Instead, too many memories came racing back to me. I screamed in horror, as I was forced to relive the night of the accident that claimed my twin sister's life.
It was my birthday. Jenny and I had just turned six. We were so happy, all smiles and giggles. Our parents had planned an elaborate surprise party for us, so my aunt took me and my sisters out for the afternoon. We didn't suspect a thing. When our aunt was returning to our house, that's when everything turned all wrong.
A Twist of Fate (The Twisted Trilogy) Page 10