The Great Cat Nap

by A M Bostwick

  I nodded. We shook paws and turned away from each other. At that moment, each of the cats cowered slightly, then raised the hair along their backs. An imposing and impressive figure joined the scene.

  “Ease up,” I said. “This is my friend Aero.”

  The giant German Shepherd, shoulders held back and head high, came to my side and nudged me.

  “Let’s do this,” he urged quietly.

  With a glance at Sloan, Aero and I were off into the night.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  Out of earshot of the others, I asked Aero, “What did the mailman do today? Is he the same guy on your route?”

  “One in the same. How did you know?”

  “A hunch,” I admitted. “Did he do anything out of the ordinary?”

  “No, though he did seem a little jumpy. Dropped a lot of packages and letters, snapped at an old lady once, tried to pay for a sub sandwich with a roll of stamps. I stayed out of sight, though he was too preoccupied to realize I was there anyway,” Aero told me.

  “What’s his name, Aero?”

  “Leonard. Frank Leonard.”

  I wondered absentmindedly if he had a rap sheet. I didn’t have time to Internet stalk him.

  “Ace, I still don’t understand what’s going to happen tonight.”

  Neither did I, but I’d talked that problem over with myself, and as it turned out, I didn’t mind. My utter unease would have to take a backset. I figured it was best to only let myself in on that secret.

  “I have to tell you something,” I confessed. “We’re on our way to a house where a kindly little old lady lives with a whole lot of cats. Ruby is there.”

  Despite the shock spreading across Aero’s face, I quickly went on, “I found her earlier today. She didn’t want to leave with me. It’s time to play the right card—you. Ruby may not listen to me, but she will to you.”

  “Wait, wait, wait,” Aero interjected, holding up a paw in protest. “Are you telling me that I trailed a mailman today who doesn’t even have Ruby?”

  “I believe he had Ruby at one point,” I said. “From what you tell me, Ruby is a sassy, independent feline. I know you were worried about her, being a housecat and all, but I think she managed to get away from him and found a safe haven here.”

  “But why didn’t she come home?” Aero exclaimed.

  “I can’t answer that. Ruby will have to. Regardless, you and I are going to ask Ruby to leave with us, then we’re going to alert the police to this blackmailing mailman’s less-than-legal activities when he tries to collect the ransom money tonight,” I explained. “Ruby, and cats everywhere, won’t be safe unless we catch this guy. There’s no guarantee he won’t try this type of activity again if we don’t stop him. Then we’ll get those funds back to your companions.”

  “How?”

  “You’ll see,” I assured him. “It’s time to focus on Ruby right now.”

  Time passed quickly as Aero and I walked the few blocks. The night was clear and cold, with a thousand stars shining above our pointed ears. The full moon was still rising, taking its sweet time. My steadfast demeanor indicated I was fearless and certain, but truthfully I was wildly uneasy about this entire venture. There were so many yhings that could go wrong. Too many.

  Mrs. Bigg’s dark house came into view, an eerie, flickering blue light emitting from the large front window; the TV was on. I put a paw out to slow down Aero’s determined gait, but he plowed right into me, and we both ended up tripping over one another.

  “All right. This is the house,” I panted, brushing myself off. “We have to proceed with caution.”

  Aero nodded. His eyes were bright, hopeful.

  I described the back porch and the window where we might be able to catch some feline attention to help us locate Ruby. Boots would have to respect me with this kind of backup. My stomach twisted into knots. What if Ruby didn’t come? I told Aero to wait for me while I peeked into the living room. Approaching the window flower box, I was careful to not make a noise. Diving soundlessly into the box, I looked in. Mrs. Bigg was curled in the armchair, flanked by two tabbies with a soap opera digest spread open on her lap. Dentures in a cup on the table and feet propped on an ottoman, she snored deeply. I jumped down and quickly walked over to Aero, poorly hidden in the shadow of an oak tree. His ears and eyes were alert. I motioned for him to follow me. It was time, not only to find Ruby, but to convince her to leave with us.

  Slowly rounding the corner, my heart leapt out of my chest.

  There, velvety gray fur sprinkled with powdered-sugar silver shining in the moonlight, was Ruby. She sat on the back step, staring at the stars above as though they held the answers she sought. I exchanged a wide-eyed look at Aero, his mouth dropped open, large canines gleaming brightly. Ruby turned slowly and looked at us, only mild surprise on her face.

  The three of locked gazes. After what felt like an eternity, a wide smile that reached all the way to Ruby’s green-gold eyes overtook her perfect feline face and she came running right into Aero’s chest in a large embrace. He staggered back, then gently wrapped his mammoth paw around her, his face still registering utter astonishment. Rendered speechless, I sat quietly looking on at the reunited pair.

  “Aero, I...” Ruby stammered.

  “It’s okay. You don’t have to explain,” Aero said quietly.

  “But I do, Aero, I do,” Ruby began, tears catching in her voice. She looked at me. “I knew. I knew after he showed up today that you’d be along shortly. And the truth is I’ve wanted to come home. So much. But something held me back.”

  Aero and I, silent, waited for Ruby to go on.

  “I was sick of the shows, sick of the lifestyle. It’s so quiet here, so normal. I could go an entire day without preening, days without a bath, without clipping and primping. I could eat without worrying about my waistline. It’s been so...freeing.”

  The giant dog nodded. I think he understood, I think he always had.

  “It’s not that I didn’t miss you all,” Ruby continued sincerely, “because I did! So much! All of you, every single minute of every single day. I couldn’t bring myself to leave, either. It’s been so confusing.”

  Ruby turned to me, then back to Aero, her eyes pleading. “Surely you understand why I stayed away, just for awhile?”

  “But Ruby, how did you leave right under my nose? I’ve felt like such a failure,” Aero said dejectedly.

  “Oh, Aero, that’s silly. He fooled us, he fooled us all. Most of all, me,” Ruby said. “You’ll never believe this, not in a million years, but it was the mailman! He cat-napped me!”

  Noting our lack of shock Ruby scrunched her flawless face. “What? You knew?”

  “Not for long,” Aero said. “Ace here put it together.”

  Giving me a curious expression, Ruby asked, “How?”

  “Your mailman, Frank Leonard, may appear to hate dogs, but he actually hates cats!”

  I raised an eyebrow. Aero continued to look confused.

  “I don’t get it,” he said, looking at us both. “He hates me. I hate him. It’s always been this way, and it always will be. Mailmen hate dogs, dogs hate mailmen.”

  “I know, I know,” Ruby soothed, placing a slightly unkempt paw over his own. “You have to believe me, he actually hates cats. Specifically, gray cats. I guess I reminded him of a cat that once bit him as a child. He told me so after he smuggled me out of the house in that cardboard box. He was early that day, he bribed me when I was on my way to the library, saying he had one of my favorite treats inside the package. I was stupid, but I had no reason to believe he would put me in danger. He had, after all, delivered my trophies and ribbons and treats to me before. I guess he was baiting me all along.”

  “You should never accept treats from a stranger,” Aero said.

  “Then what happened?” I urged. The story was finally coming together.

  “Well, he hustled back to his car—it was so hot in that box, and it was lined so no one would hear me—and fini
shed his route while I was trapped inside. I was so scared,” Ruby recalled. “It was hard to breathe. I don’t know how much time passed, but when he came back to the car, I was ready for him. See, I used my teeth to cut the padding and tape holding the box shut on the bottom. It was hard, but I didn’t get out, not just yet. By then, I was mad.”

  I marveled at her bravery. What a tail. I mean, what a tale.

  “As he drove, he went on and on about how animals like us, specifically cats, did not deserve all those rewards. He said cats were vile creatures and rewarding them was disgusting,” Ruby went on. “He said he’d finally thought of the ultimate commodity to steal: a show cat.”

  “That’s terrible,” I said.

  “Awful. He said that stuff?” Aero mimicked.

  “Don’t ask me why. Mailmen are known for going postal, aren’t they?” Ruby suggested, shrugging.

  “Then what?” I asked.

  “He came to a stop, and I knew it was time. I could see just a bit out of the opening of the box. I was ready for him,” Ruby paused to smile proudly. “When he opened the car door to get my box, I leapt out, hissing and spitting, swatting like mad.”

  Ruby started laughing, a light, clear sound.

  “The look on his face!” she giggled. “You would have thought I was a ninja! It was so satisfying! His eyes got real big, and he stumbled over his own big feet and fell. I think he was still scared of cats, to tell you the truth. Then I took off as fast as I could. I ran and ran and ran, not even aware of where I was going. I avoided the main streets and kept hidden as much as I could. It didn’t take much to lose him. I was frightened, yet exhilarated. It was the first time I’d done something on my own. I wandered around a neighborhood for a few hours, smelling the flowers, eating the grass, and talking with a few animals. They told me about this place, Mrs. Bigg’s.”

  We all turned and looked at the tiny house, where inside the sweet old woman slept with her houseful of felines.

  “So I came,” she said. “I was hungry, after all, and not an outside cat. Nice as it was outdoors, I was ready for some down time. I figured I’d fill up, get some sleep, and try to find home the next day.”

  The Russian Blue lowered her head.

  “Only, I didn’t,” she confessed. “Mrs. Bigg was so nice, as were all the other cats. They all had fascinating stories and personalities. I missed home, and all of you, so much. I told myself I’d leave the next day, but the days kept going by. I didn’t miss the show cat life, you know?”

  Aero nodded again, his expression understanding.

  “I’m sorry, Aero. That I left you worried and alone. I didn’t mean any harm, and I apologize deeply,” Ruby said with emotion. She turned to me. “Ace, I am sorry I was rude to you today. That isn’t like me. It was just such a shock. I had no idea that everyone missed me as much as I missed them.”

  “Of course we did, Ruby!” Aero cried. “You’re a lot more than just a show cat to all of us! Madeline is putting up posters all across the state and online, running stories in Ace’s newspaper pleading for your safe return. They’re willing to pay ransom! Everyone is in pieces.”

  “I don’t know...” Ruby mumbled, biting her lip.

  “Please. Just come home. I promise it will get better. I can take you outside, on adventures where you would be safe. You don’t have to do those stupid shows.”

  Ruby looked doubtful.

  “How?” she asked quietly. “I don’t have the nerve to throw a show.”

  “We’ll figure it out. Together,” Aero promised. “We’ll dye your fur if we have to. Madeline and Horace will understand.”

  Still biting her lower lip, Ruby pondered. Then she smiled.

  “Okay, I trust you,” she said. “Let’s go home.”

  Aero’s face broke into a grin and hugged his cat friend again.

  “You smell like a real dog, Aero,” Ruby’s muffled voice came out through his fur.

  The canine grinned even wider, obviously pleased that everything was going to be back to normal. Only, just a little different. For the better.

  “Here I thought Ellin may have cat-napped you,” I confessed. “I visited your three cousins.”

  “Ellin? Oh, goodness. No, she wouldn’t do that. She’s unpleasant, but not cruel-hearted,” Ruby declared.

  “She seemed a bit dodgy, and didn’t have an alibi for the time you disappeared,” I explained.

  “Uno, Dos, and Tres don’t know this, but Ellin is sick,” Ruby confided. I raised my eyebrows. I could see this was news to Aero as well. “I’m not supposed to know, but I overheard Ellin and Madeline talking a few times over the last few weeks. Ellin has Lyme Disease. It wasn’t diagnosed right away, so unfortunately it can be a long and serious sickness.”

  Boy, did I feel guilty. Stalking and harassing a sick woman.

  “Gosh, I’m sorry Ruby,” I said. “I had no idea. No wonder she looked so peaked and miserable all the time.” I smacked a paw to my forehead. “No wonder her hours were long and varied.”

  “Yes. She’ll be okay, after a lot of rest—which she isn’t good at doing—and antibiotics and doctor visits. It’s a long and difficult road from what I understand,” Ruby said. “I don’t think she wanted to worry her cats with her troubles. She should turn to them. She’d feel better if she did.”

  “I think you’re right,” I said. I turned to Aero, “We should go.”

  We all looked longingly at Mrs. Bigg’s house one last time, then headed off down the block. Just two cats and a dog out for a late night stroll.

  “Oh. Ruby? We have just one more stop before home,” I said. “You’re going to get a second swat at the mailman who wronged you.”

  ***

  What was it with crooks and midnight? Something about the witching hour just seemed to trigger all their wicked deeds. Maybe it was a top-rated tip in the Beginner’s Guide to Being a Conniving Thief manual.

  It was 11:30 p.m., the moon now high in the night sky, and the gathering of animals behind The Daily Reporter was impressive. As we arrived, my eyes surveyed the lot. Frisky and Farfel sat together discussing about rawhide and real bones, Rogue and Minx lounged with Sloan, sipping steaming milk, and Kit Kat chatted up Lily. I saw Sloan’s eyes grow two sizes when he spotted Ruby, glimmering beautifully even under the harsh street lights. He sat up straight, as did Rogue.

  “Well, well,” droned Rogue, “This must be Miss Ruby the Russian.”

  “In the fur,” she said silkily, shaking paws with Rogue and Sloan, then introducing herself to the rest of the animals. Sloan approached me, still looking at his recently-Ruby-touched paw in awe.

  “She’s really something, isn’t she?”

  “Keep the drool in your mouth, Sloan,” I said good-naturedly. “We still have work to do tonight.”

  “Good work, sleuth,” Rogue said to me. “You found the missin’ cat. Now it’s time to make the villain pay. This is my area of expertise.”

  “That’s right,” I answered.

  “Psst. PSSSSSST. Ace the Cat! Over here!”

  I looked up. Under the dumpster, crouched in the shadows was a familiar, ratty face.

  Boris the Rat.

  “Boris. There you are.”

  “Boris the Rat! Come hither at once,” he ordered.

  Why I listened to him, I couldn’t exactly tell you. I guided him just across the back alley. Boris scampered and scurried like a fugitive. I wasn’t exactly thrilled about being in the company of a rat, and I’m sure he didn’t like being side by side with a cat, but I saw no need to be obnoxious about it.

  “I am here,” he said in obvious need of great admiration.

  “The gratitude parade got stuck in traffic.”

  Boris ignored me.

  “I told you, your clan hates rats,” Boris the Rat said smugly under the safety of a car. His fur was heavy and matted, like the material of an antique sofa. “No one will talk to me.”

  A rat with humility. Who knew?

  “Did you introduce
yourself?” I asked, though it occurred to me that his personality paired with Minx’s would be about as smooth as two freight trains colliding.

  Boris shrugged, then said, “I do not like being so close to you.” I backed up a few paces. Getting along with this guy was like herding cats.

  “Did you bring the industrial strength zip ties?” I asked Boris, changing the subject. Zip ties, and Boris’ ability to use them, were crucial to tonight’s plan. It was what made this—being nice to Boris—worth all the trouble. He paused and picked a stray blade of grass, gnawing on it with his sharp, yellow teeth. He nodded.

  “And you’re ready to do as I asked in exchange for the cereal?”

  “Why must you ask so many questions?” Boris the Rat snapped.

  “This just in: I. Am. A. Reporter,” I said, losing patience.

  Boris threw his short little arms in the air and tossed his grass aside. “Fine! Let us get on with this!”

  “My sentiments exactly.”

  Walking back, I jumped on top of the dumpster. It was time for me to boost morale. Boris awkwardly joined me, crossing his stubby arms in defiance. I surveyed the crowd, pleased. There was just one important player missing tonight, but she wasn’t scheduled to be here. We’d already discussed her role, at a loud volume, earlier that day.

  “Hey everyone,” I called, my voice raising an octave or two. I preferred to report, not vocalize, to the masses. Everyone grew quiet and looked at me. “Boris and I...”

  “Boris the Rat,” my accomplice hissed under his breath.

  “Boris the Rat and I would like to say thanks to you all for coming,” I proclaimed as I surveyed our crew. I never thought I’d see the day where two dogs, a group of cats, and a couple of vermin would join forces. “Your support tonight is highly valued. You are all doing a brave and honorable deed. We must be careful, though. We all know the plan, and it is important that we stick to it. Remember, if you are in trouble, get out. If someone else needs your help, prioritize and lend a paw,” I took a deep breath. “What we are doing tonight could save innocent lives. What’s right is right, and this guy is wrong. So...let’s bring him to justice,” I finished lamely. Boris shot me an eye roll.