by Sam Crescent
Linda shrugged. “I’ve no idea. He’s your man.”
Licking her lips, Jennifer wondered if she’d be able to hide out upstairs.
“Come on, I’m here.” Linda took her arm and led her down stairs. There were at least thirty people milling around the house. The doorbell sounded. She watched Patrick let another bunch of people in. “I guess this is not going to be a small gathering, huh?”
Feeling entirely out of her element, Jennifer stayed as far away from the crowds as possible. Linda stood by her side even when men asked her for a dance.
“Go on. Dance, have fun. I’m fine.”
Patrick had ignored her from the moment the party began. She stood in the dining room and gazed out of the doors to where the garden was highlighted with the many outdoor lights.
“Here is the woman of the hour,” Patrick said.
He sounded drunk, and she froze. Turning to face him, she plastered a smile on her face. His friends looked at her as if she was some kind of bug.
Rubbing a hand over her stomach, he pulled her in close. “How are you doing, baby?”
“I’m fine,” she said.
****
Patrick knew he was being an ass. He wasn’t even drunk. Pulling Jennifer close he felt his body harden at the feel of her against him.
“So, the news is true what they’re saying?” a blonde asked. He couldn’t remember her name, but from the look on her face, he figured he’d fucked her at some point.
“The news about her being pregnant with my baby? Yes, that’s all true. I knocked her up first time we were together.”
Jennifer pulled away from him. She looked at his friends and then left. He heard his friends laugh as she stumbled up the stairs.
Why had he done this? Linda shot him a hateful look and then followed her up the stairs. When Jennifer was out of sight the blonde ran her hands up his chest. “Is that why you’ve been blowing us off? You’re on whale duty?”
He frowned. “What did you say?”
“Everyone knows you’re saddled with the Dixon girl. She’s huge, Patrick, and she ruins your image.”
She pressed her body against his. His cock deflated. She was all skin and bones. When had he found that a turn-on?
“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t call my wife names.”
“Future wife now? I didn’t know it was getting to that stage.”
He looked back in the direction of the stairs and was shocked to see Linda and Jennifer walking down the stairs. Her eyes were red, and the make-up she’d been wearing was wiped clean. She looked refreshed and beautiful. Jennifer took his breath away.
Jennifer glanced over at them and then moved out to the garden. He pushed the blonde away from him and went in search of Jennifer.
You’ve fucked up. Why are you fucking it up with her? You love her, Patrick.
She was standing in the gazebo area. Linda stopped in front of him. “Why are you being a prick? She’s trying to make this work because you demanded it from her. You’re an asshole.” She shoved him as she walked past.
He moved up to the gazebo.
“What’s the matter, babe?” he asked.
She turned on him. Her arms folded over her chest. “What the hell are you doing?”
Patrick stood and lost the drunken persona. He hadn’t touched a drop of alcohol, and she saw through his act.
“You’re putting on a show?”
He didn’t say a word.
“If you wanted to be an actor why don’t you go out and try it?”
She spun turning her back on him. Patrick moved up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist.
“Don’t touch me. I don’t want you near me right now,” she said.
He kept his hold on her waist. “I don’t know what I’m doing,” he said.
“You’re a grown man, Patrick. Stop behaving like a teenager.” She pulled out of his hold. “I want you to remember that it was you that asked me to move here. You wanted to be part of this baby’s life. I was content to do it all myself. Don’t start treating me like I landed this in your lap and you’re trying to deal with it.”
She stormed away. Patrick took large gulps of fresh air. He needed to clear his mind. He stood overlooking the garden when he heard several girls laughing.
“Did you see the way she looked? I can’t believe the bitch has snagged him.”
“Snagged him? The only thing appealing about her is the bank balance she comes with. Her brother is one hot guy. I’d fuck him if the chance ever arose.”
Patrick looked toward the sound.
“Do you really think Patrick will marry her?”
“Who knows? I never thought he’d get a girl pregnant. I sure tried to make him forget a condom. The fucker never did.”
He felt sick to his stomach that he’d ever touched one of the girls. Shaking his head, he made his way inside. Looking at his space and seeing Jennifer sitting on the sofa with her feet curled up underneath her made him lose what little control he had.
“Get the fuck out of my house.” He yelled the words for everyone to hear.
They froze, and the music stopped as he cursed.
“What’s going on?” one person asked.
“Get out. This party was a mistake. Get the fuck out.”
All of his guests started to filter out of the front door. He didn’t care if the news hit the morning papers. The only thing on his mind was getting them out of his door. He was losing his mind where Jennifer was concerned.
When they all filed out he stared at Jennifer. She didn’t look at him.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
She turned in her seat to look at him.
“Do you want me to go?” she asked.
Linda left them alone. He sat down where her friend had been seated seconds before. Reaching for her hand, Patrick was startled when she pulled away.
“I’ve been an asshole,” he said. “I don’t want you to go.”
Jennifer stood without speaking to him.
“Don’t walk away.” He took her hand in his. Her palm was sweaty. He stood, cupping her cheek and staring down into her eyes. “I’m not used to this. I lost control.”
“I didn’t force this on you, Patrick. You don’t have to start being different because of me. I’m having this baby because I want to. You need to decide what you want to do.”
She brushed past him and walked up the stairs. He watched her go and knew she was right. With his head in his hands Patrick cursed. He didn’t know what was wrong with him. That morning after going with her to the doctor’s appointment he’d seen a caricature of him and Jennifer in the newspaper. They had been surrounded by three screaming kids, and he’d snapped. The paper had talked about her taming him in some freakish kind of way. After seeing it he’d wanted to convince himself nothing had changed. He wanted to think he was the same old Patrick when the truth was he was not. He’d fucked up, and he didn’t have a clue what to do.
Chapter Nine
After the party there was a tenseness that surrounded them. Jennifer no longer felt free with him and knew he was wishing for other things. He didn’t reach for her, and their sex life had all but fizzled out. There were times he looked at her, and she was sure he wanted to say or do something, but then he’d simply turn away. She didn’t understand. What was holding him back? Linda visited her as much as she could. Jennifer knew the visits were hard for her friend. Patrick wasn’t the most welcoming of men. He seemed to hate Linda with a passion. She’d never understand why he looked angry all the time. The newspapers had been filled with his disaster of a party. The gossip had turned it around and made it her fault.
Her mother had shocked her with several phone calls offering to support and help her. She’d never known her mother cared so much about her.
The furniture arrived for the nursery. She asked the delivery men to store it in the room. Jennifer hadn’t gone back in the room for several days. Patrick stayed out a lot of the time.
When a week had passed
and nothing felt like it was going right, she walked into the nursery and started going through the furniture. She wasn’t stupid, and she tore open a box and began to read the instructions. Assembling the crib looked easy enough. The tools had come with the stuff. Pushing the other furniture out of the way, she began to organise the space.
Every now and then tears would grip her. She rubbed them away and winced as she started to get lower back pain. Jennifer moved around the room trying to get comfortable. The pain would disappear as quickly as it reappeared. She continued to ignore the pain as she worked. Her mind filled with other worries that were mostly directed to the father of the baby.
She cringed when she heard the sound of the door opening and closing. When she’d first started living with him she’d have called out. In the last week she hadn’t bothered to call to him. Once the baby was born if she still felt like this then she was moving back into her old apartment. She read through the instructions as Patrick opened the door to the room. Jennifer didn’t look up and continued to assemble the crib.
“What are you doing?” he asked. His voice was soft as he spoke.
“Assembling a crib. It looks easy enough.”
She grabbed a piece of wood and aligned it up before getting the screws to fit into place.
“You shouldn’t be doing this, Jennifer.”
“Someone has to, and I’ve got a lot of free time.”
She heard him sigh and ignored it.
“Is this the way it’s going to be between us?” he asked.
“I don’t know. You seem determined to put distance between us. I’m merely carrying on with what you have planned. Could you pass me that pole?” She glanced up at him. He glared down at her.
“I didn’t plan for this, Jennifer. I’m trying to deal with it.” He pointed at her stomach and then at her.
“And you think I did plan for this?” she asked. Her anger got the better of her, and she stood to glare at him.
“You’re a woman. Don’t you have an inbuilt system that allows you cope with this?” He smiled.
She knew it was a joke, but his words hurt. “No, I don’t. I guess I’m not a woman like the ones you usually fuck and leave after one night.” Putting her hands on her hips she glared at him.
“Don’t throw my past at me.”
“Past? Why does it have to be in the past? That blonde was all over you the night of your party. For all I know that’s what you’re doing with your days. Fucking every woman you can find because it will be much better than being with me.”
“Stop putting yourself down.” He yelled the words at her.
“I’ll do whatever the hell I like. I’m doing all this because the only person I can really rely on is myself. If I leave it to you my baby will come here and not have anything to sleep in.” She pointed a finger at her chest as she shouted.
“I never asked for this.” Patrick yelled the words across the room. He slapped the walls and kicked the crib across the room. “You’re not letting me be part of everything.”
She looked at the nursery and wondered what had set him off. They’d been planning for the nursery to be finished well before she gave birth. “You never want to come in here, Patrick. I’ve tried to get you to help, and you’ve left me to do everything. I don’t understand what’s wrong, Patrick. What have I done? Why are you so different towards me?”
“You’re rushing everything. I was fine when we were doing everything together. We don’t know everything about each other, and the rate you’re going the baby will be here and then we won’t have a choice in what we decide,” he said.
“This is what you wanted.”
“No. I wanted to spend time with the woman I met in the garden. This,” he gestured around the room, “is too much for me. I’ve got to get out of here. I don’t want this.”
He looked pale as if all his colour had left him at once.
“What do you mean?”
“I’m not ready to be a father.”
His words hit her like a slap to the face. She watched him storm out of his house. The pain in her back was nothing compared to the pain in her heart. She let the tears fall and didn’t bother wiping them away.
Jennifer walked out of the nursery and sat on the bed. She was so pleased she hadn’t agreed to marry him and got engaged. The phone rang, and she ignored the call. She didn’t know how long she sat there looking down at the floor.
Gazing out of the window she saw night had fallen. Jennifer walked to the shower and tried to wash the day off her. The pain continued to hurt. She ignored it. It was over between them. Patrick had finally realised he didn’t want to be a father. She should never have hoped it would work. She’d known there was no chance for them.
Once she finished in the shower, she curled up in a ball on the bed. Jennifer closed her eyes as she started to accept what had happened between them.
Later that night the pain that gripped her abdomen woke her up out of her troubled sleep. It was excruciating, and she couldn’t think past the next wave of pain. The other pain she’d felt was nothing like this. She reached for the lightshade and turned it on. Jennifer couldn’t contain her next scream as the pain intensified. Pushing the blanket off, she stared down between her legs. There was the crimson of blood on her pyjama bottoms.
Her hands shook as she reached for the telephone. Patrick still hadn’t returned from storming out of the house earlier. She dialled the only number she trusted.
Unable to contain her sickness, she leaned over the bed and vomited everything she’d eaten that day.
“Hello? Who is this?” Linda asked.
“Help, Linda, please.” The tears fell from her eyes. She begged her friend for help.
“Jen, what’s the matter, honey? You’re scaring me.”
“I’m losing the baby.”
The next few hours were a nightmare. Once she ended the call, Jennifer curled up in a foetal position. The pain continued on. She heard Linda enter the room followed by two men with a stretcher.
“I called the ambulance, Jen.”
Jennifer couldn’t think of any words as the next few hours passed. Linda stayed with her through it all holding her hand.
“I hope that sick comes out,” Jennifer said.
“What?” Linda asked.
“The sick on his carpet. Patrick likes clean carpets.”
Jennifer closed her eyes as sleep claimed her. In that moment, she never wanted to wake up again.
****
Patrick woke up with a pounding headache. His mouth tasted like shit, and he glanced around the apartment he’d rented out some time ago. He couldn’t remember how he’d gotten there. Looking around the room, he saw whisky and beer bottles on the table.
The banging on his front door finally woke him up. Rubbing his eyes to try to wake himself up, he walked to the door.
“Open the fucking door,” Linda said. Her voice was raised, which made him angry.
“Keep your voice down. I’ve got neighbours.” He opened the door.
Linda looked pale and as if she hadn’t slept all night.
“What brings you to my door? Jennifer have a change of heart and sent you to beg for her?” he asked, chuckling.
“Jennifer’s in the hospital, Patrick. She lost the baby last night and almost died. Congratulations, you’re a free man again.”
He paused as her words penetrated his brain. “What?”
“She said you wouldn’t care. You slammed out of your home last night because of your stupid argument. I thought you were different from what the tabloids made out. You’re a fake.” She threw the morning’s paper at him. “She’s better off without you.”
“Jennifer lost the baby?” he asked.
“Yeah. I thought you’d like to know.” Linda stormed off before he got chance to say anything else.
He felt sick and ran for the bathroom. After twenty minutes of non-stop vomiting he glanced down at the paper. It showed him with his arms wrapped around another woman, and it
looked like he was about to kiss her.
“Jennifer’s in the hospital, Patrick. She lost the baby last night and almost died. Congratulations, you’re a free man again.”
Closing his eyes he let the tears escape. He didn’t want to be a free man. Last night she’d needed him, and he hadn’t been there. Getting to his feet, he turned the shower on and started to get undressed.
When he was showered, he called a taxi. He was in no fit state to drive. On the journey to the hospital he stared down at his cell phone. Should he call anyone? Had Linda taken care of everything?
The nurses were whispering as he approached the reception desk.
“I’m here to see Jennifer Dixon,” he said.
His hands shook, and he placed them in his pockets.
The nurse with red hair showed him up to her room. “Her parents moved her into a private ward earlier this morning,” she said on the way up.
Patrick didn’t speak a word. He stared at his reflection in the steel, feeling like the biggest jerk on the planet.
The ward was busy, and several people stopped to stare at him. He followed the red head down the long corridor to the private section.
“Jennifer’s room is at the end of the hall,” she said.
Rubbing a hand over his face he thanked the woman and then walked down to Jennifer’s room.
The door was partially open. He saw her lying on the bed with a remote in her head. Tears escaped from her eyes as she stared straight ahead.
She looked pale, and her eyes were bruised from the lack of sleep. He opened the door. She turned her head to look at him. They stared at each other. Patrick didn’t have a clue to what she was thinking or feeling.
Jennifer ignored him and watched the television.
“Linda told me what happened,” he said.
“I gathered. They tried to phone you, but they didn’t know how to reach you. I told them not to bother.” Her voice sounded dead. There was no animation to it. He didn’t have a clue what to do with his hands, and he put them inside his pockets.
“How are you feeling?” he asked.
She stared at him without answering.
“Stupid question. I never wanted you to lose the baby, Jen—”