Helsinki Sunrise

by Marion Ueckermann

  “You clean up nicely, but you didn’t take any time to rest. Did you at least have something to eat?”

  Mary’s concern was motherly, and Eveliina’s heart ached at the remembrance of what she’d lost out on. She squeezed her eyes tight, desperate to shut out the memory of her mother. After all these years, it still hurt so much. Maammo, how I miss you. I need you so much right now. I’m so afraid. She could call her grandmother, but even though she’d practically raised Eveliina, it wasn’t the same as having her mother’s comforting arms wrapped around her.

  “I— I don’t think I could stomach food right now. I’ll get something later at the coffee shop if I’m hungry.” Resting her palms on the counter, Eveliina leaned toward Mary. “Has there been any word on Adam?”

  “I’ve been checking with Intensive Care so I could give you an update.” Mary’s grin revealed a straight row of unblemished teeth. Did all Americans have perfect smiles? Eveliina thought it was only in the movies. She’d have to change her thinking.

  “They’ve settled him in ICU, but there’s been no change in his condition.”

  “Can I see him?”

  “Of course. You might even bump into Dr. Karjanlahti.” The ease with which Mary pronounced the difficult Finnish surname made Eveliina realize the American had probably been living in her country for quite some time.

  “He normally does his rounds about now.”

  Eveliina looked at the clock on the wall behind Mary. Seven-fifteen. Three hours had passed since Adam’s fall.

  “Who is he?”

  “He’s the neurologist attending to your fiancé.”

  “Then I’d better hurry. I wouldn’t want to miss him.” Eveliina turned to go, and then stopped. “I almost forgot.” She dug in her handbag and pulled out a passport with a long white paper inserted inside. “I thought you might need these—Adam’s passport and proof of his travel insurance.” Eveliina had breathed a prayer of relief when she’d found those at the bottom of Adam’s backpack.

  “Wonderful. Give me a minute to photocopy them.”

  Eveliina nodded.

  True to her word, Mary took less than sixty seconds to make the copies and return the documents to Eveliina.

  “Thank you.” She placed them inside her bag before hurrying across the tiled floor. The heels of her sandals clicked as they made contact with the smooth surface beneath them. Too impatient to wait for the elevator, Eveliina climbed the stairs to the second floor. She pressed the button outside ICU and waited. Seconds later, a nurse opened the door.

  “Can I help you?”

  Eveliina glanced inside as she nodded.

  The medical staff looked like clones in their identical light-blue pants and shirts, heads and feet covered in disposable protective fabric.

  “Adam Carter. I’d like to see him, please.”

  “You are?”

  Eveliina wavered before answering, her earlier conviction to clean up on the inside compromised. She ignored the nagging to tell the truth. She needed to see Adam. “His future wife.” It could be true. She hadn’t said she was his fiancée—that would be a lie.

  “Let me take you to him.”

  Inside ICU, the nurse handed Eveliina a blue gown, plus hair and feet coverings much like her own.

  “You’ll need to put these on first.”

  “OK.” As she dressed, Eveliina scanned the room, searching for Adam.

  Beds and machines lined the right hand wall, like neatly arranged dominoes. Some of the beds were empty; others had no more than two visitors seated beside the occupant. The nurses’ station was on the left and on the far side were three glassed rooms. Inside the one straight ahead, she could see Adam’s still form. A tall man in a white coat stood beside his bed. She hoped this was Dr. Karjanlahti.

  “I’m sure you’d like to talk with the doctor—he’s with your fiancé at the moment.”

  Eveliina nodded as she slid a light blue cover over her left foot.

  “Follow me.”

  The nurse led her to Adam’s room.

  Eveliina swallowed hard as she stepped inside.

  Monitors blipped around his bed. The one that mattered most to her was the one that showed his heart still beating. Tubes and lines twisted and turned like highways emanating from one central hub—Adam. His head was swathed in a turban-like bandage and his neck mimicked the look with a sponge brace. The transparent oxygen mask covering his nose and mouth clung to his face by means of a green elastic band strapped around his head. More tubing connected white leggings to a machine hanging at the edge of his bed which ticked as it pumped the leggings tighter around Adam’s calves, then exhaled like an old man dying as it released the pressure. His left arm lay bent across his body, the white of a splint stuck out on either side of the sling immobilizing his arm.

  Red paint still covered him. Saving Adam’s life was obviously far more important to the medical staff than Adam saving face. But he wouldn’t care what he looked like.

  She hadn’t. Adam’s welfare was all that mattered when she flew into the ER looking like something out of a horror movie, or when she’d crossed the busy reception area under the curious stares of those coming and going.

  “Dr. Karjanlahti, this is Adam Carter’s fiancée—”

  “Eveliina Mikkola.” Eveliina extended her hand in greeting.

  Dr. Karjanlahti reciprocated.

  She moved beside Adam and took his hand in hers. “How is Adam doing?”

  “Let’s step away where we can talk more freely.” He took a few paces and stood outside the door. He spoke in a quiet voice. “It’s best not to talk in front of Adam—one cannot be sure what he can hear. The last thing we want to do is alarm him.”

  Like an anchor thrown overboard, Eveliina’s heart sank.

  The doctor continued. “He’s in a serious, but stable condition.” The expression on his face told her more than the words that followed. “The CT scan revealed that Adam has developed a subdural hematoma.”

  “Is that bad? Do you need to operate?” She barely recognized her voice. It was as if she stood outside her body, listening to someone else speaking from her shell.

  “Only if the bleeding doesn’t stop on its own. We’ll need to monitor him closely and will repeatedly conduct the head imaging tests to see if there’s improvement. Some subdural hematomas stop and resolve spontaneously; others require surgical drainage. Bleeding and increased pressure on the brain can be life-threatening. We have him on medication to help reduce any swelling or pressure.”

  “If it doesn’t stop, will he”—the next word stuck in her throat like dry toast—“die?”

  “There’s a thin line between recovery and death, Miss Mikkola. We will do everything in our power to ensure he recovers.” Dr. Karjanlahti rubbed his forehead. He looked tired. Worried? “Fortunately you reacted fast, getting him medical help well within the golden hour. But the next few hours are critical. If his coma lasts more than six hours, there could be repercussions.”

  There had been nothing golden about that hour. It had been one of the blackest since—She tried to shut out the tragic memory of her mother and father’s deaths.

  “What repercussions, Doctor?”

  He folded his arms and cleared his throat. “When a loss of consciousness lasts less than six hours, it usually means the injury is limited to a concussion. However, if a coma lasts for longer than six hours, there may be significant brain tissue injury.”

  “Meaning?”

  “If he survives, there could be a long road to recovery—even if he wakes before the six hours. Adam may have short or long-term memory loss. He may have a slowed ability to process information, trouble concentrating or paying attention, difficulty reading or writing. You could find him struggling to keep up with a conversation because he may have problems finding words. He could have spatial disorientation, organizational problems, impaired judgment. He may not be able to do more than one thing at a time. He may suffer from seizures, muscle weakness, double or
impaired vision, slurred speech, loss of taste or smell…”

  Eveliina thought of their salmon dinner Adam had been looking forward to, the blueberry pie he’d promised her in the city. Would he still be able to enjoy these luxuries?

  “Adam could suffer from problems with balance, headaches or migraines, fatigue, personality changes. He could be paralyzed. He might never make a complete recovery.” The doctor unfolded his arms, leaned against the doorway and looked at Adam before turning back to her. “Then again, you could find him walking out of here in a few days with absolutely no side effects from this trauma. It’s too early to tell, but you need to know what you could be facing.”

  “Thank you, Doctor. I appreciate your honesty.” Eveliina’s mind was a cyclone, sucking up the facts through the dark tunnel of reality and spitting them out on the landscape of her mind, leaving behind only devastation and doubt. If Adam never fully recovered, did she love him enough to be with him no matter what?

  She slowly edged her way back to Adam and took his hand in hers again.

  “Why is his arm strapped to the bed?”

  Dr. Karjanlahti remained at the door. “Waking comatose patients tend to pull at items attached to them. We need to prevent Adam from injuring himself further if he wakes.”

  “When he wakes,” Eveliina corrected.

  “You have faith?”

  “Not really.” Eveliina’s smile was weak, still she offered it. “But I’m learning.”

  With a nod, the doctor’s mouth turned up. “That’s good.”

  Reaching over, Eveliina touched Adam’s splinted arm. “Is it broken?”

  “Fortunately he only sustained an olecranon fracture which will merely require a splint to hold the elbow in place during the healing process. Adam will have to return for X-rays over the coming weeks though, as well as undergo physical therapy.”

  “Can I stay with him?”

  He stared at his patient, silent, as if processing her request.

  Don’t think too long…just say yes.

  “It might do him good to have you close, to hear your voice. I’ll allow it for an hour. No longer.”

  Ninety minutes short of the critical six-hours. If only he’d allow her to stay until then, but the authority with which he’d spoken the words “no longer” made Eveliina apprehensive to ask for any more time with Adam.

  13

  “Oh, Adam,” Eveliina whispered. “I only have sixty minutes with you—a golden hour. I want you to hear my voice every second. I want to tell you everything’s going to be OK. I want to tell you over and over how much I love you. But what do you want to hear from me? What words would be most precious to you to make this time count?”

  God’s words, Eveliina. It was as if Adam had whispered in her ear.

  Stunned, she dug in her bag and pulled out Adam’s Bible. Why had she felt the need to put it in her bag back at her apartment, along with Adam’s MP3 player, passport and travel insurance papers?

  But where do I read from?

  Several places were bookmarked. Eveliina decided to start with one of these. She flipped the pages to Isaiah forty-three. Sitting close enough for Adam to hear, she placed the open Bible on his bed and held his hand as she read.

  “But now, this is what the Lord says—He who created you, Jacob, He who formed you, Israel: ‘Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are Mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.” She leaned over and kissed Adam on the forehead. “See, Adam, God loves you—He’s with you.” But were the sacred words meant for Adam? She continued, reading verse four twice, certain they’d been intended for her. “Since you are precious and honored in My sight, and because I love you, I will give people in exchange for you, nations in exchange for your life.”

  Adam….

  Eveliina paused, taking time to speak her thoughts to God. If You take Adam, how will that ever make me reconcile with You. I prayed and asked You not to let him die. Please, don’t put this on me.

  “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland…I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions, for My own sake, and remembers your sins no more.” You’d do that?

  She continued reading through chapter forty-five, transfixed by the words. Surely God had led her directly to these passages. “I summon you by name, and bestow on you a title of honor, though you do not acknowledge Me. I am the Lord, and there is no other; apart from Me there is no God. I will strengthen you, though you have not acknowledged Me, so that from the rising of the sun to the place of its setting people may know there is none besides Me.”

  Eveliina paused and gazed at Adam. Despite all the tubes, he looked peaceful. “I’m so sorry…sorry you had to suffer for God to get my attention.” She could have sworn she felt Adam squeeze her hand softly. But his still form told another story. Perhaps she’d wanted to feel something happen—that the sound of her voice, or the words she read, were working some miracle. She had to keep trying. Time was running out.

  “Remember this, keep it in mind, take it to heart, you rebels. Remember the former things, those of long ago; I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like Me. I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come. I say, ‘My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please. From the east I summon a bird of prey; from a far-off land, a man to fulfill my purpose.”

  Oh, Adam…did God summon you to Finland for me? Are you suffering because of me? Will you die because of me?

  As she read the passage of how beautiful the feet are of those who bring good news, she looked at Adam’s feet, stained the color of blood. She thought of another pair of bloodstained feet she’d been taught about so long ago—and the One who had given His life for her.

  But she was a rebel, the black sheep of the family, and she’d been lost for so long, she didn’t know how to find her way back to Jesus. She could call Mummo, or Mikko—they’d been praying long enough for her—but she wanted to wait for Adam to show her. She was, after all, his mission.

  In the recesses of her mind, she heard his voice. Finland, Helsinki, you…

  ****

  As the nurse entered Adam’s room, Eveliina stopped reading.

  “I’m sorry, Miss Mikkola, but your time’s up. Dr. Karjanlahti was emphatic about only allowing you one hour with the patient.”

  She closed the Bible and placed it on the table beside Adam’s bed. “I know. Thank you.” She rose from her chair and turned to the nurse. “Can this mask be taken off his face…for just a moment?”

  The nurse gave her a knowing look. “Of course.” She hurried to Adam’s side, loosened the elastic, and dropped the oxygen mask onto his chest. “Just a few seconds.”

  Eveliina nodded. Wasting no time, she brushed the side of his face with her hand and whispered in his ear. “I love you, Adam. You had better survive so we can have a future together.” She kissed him goodnight. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

  Stepping aside, she made way for the nurse to replace the oxygen mask.

  “Thank you.” Eveliina rushed out of Adam’s room, before she lost her willpower to go, before like a two-year old, she refused to move. She pulled off the blue gown, as well as the coverings from her head and feet, and dumped them in a basket at the ICU entrance.

  When her feet touched the passageway, she didn’t stop running until she got back to her car. Once safely inside, she allowed the sobs to rack her body.

  Tears blurred the road before her as she drove home. Tears for Adam. Tears for herself.

  She pulled into a parking space outside her apartment building and wearily forced her feet up the flight of stairs to her two-bedroom apartment. As she closed the door, her cellphone started ringing. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and answered.


  “Hello, pupu.” Joel’s familiar voice sounded in her ear. Why hadn’t she checked the call before picking up? She’d been certain it was the hospital.

  “Joel.” She kept it short, hoping to mask the fact she’d been crying.

  “I’m glad you finally answered. I’ve been worried about you. One minute we were talking, the next you screamed and disappeared, cutting the call shortly after. I haven’t been able to get you since then. Your phone was either engaged, or went to voice mail. What’s going on?”

  Should she tell him? Tell him about Adam—her feelings for him, and what happened earlier? No. Not now. The hospital could be trying to contact her as they spoke.

  “I really can’t speak now.”

  Joel didn’t hide his annoyance. “Let me guess, you’re in the middle of something.”

  Eveliina remained silent.

  “Who is Adam?”

  Joel’s question caught her unawares. How did he know? Suddenly her cry echoed in her mind as she remembered the sound of the thud outside the cottage. Adam! She’d screamed his name, the call still connected to Joel.

  “Adam is—” She couldn’t speak about this now. “Was the first man created—the one tempted by Eve,” she answered flippantly.

  “And have you been that temptress these past few days?”

  Heat rose to her cheeks. But the reaction wasn’t due to her indignation at the inappropriateness of Joel’s question—it was because of her actions over the past few days. She had tried to tempt Adam, in so many ways. What had she been thinking?

  “I— I have to go. I’m really sorry, Joel.”

  “So am—” Joel’s voice disappeared.

  Eveliina looked at her phone. Dead.

  Fresh tears filled her eyes and spilled over to her damp cheeks as she realized her phone charger was still at the cottage. She’d have no contact with the hospital until morning.

  ****

  Tossing in her bed, Eveliina’s emotions seesawed between anger at Joel and thoughts that her phone battery dying was possibly for the best. If Joel hadn’t called, she would have had that last lifeline to the hospital. But if her phone was working, she would have lain awake all night waiting for their call. Even if Adam awoke through the night, and the hospital did call, she was sure Dr. Karjanlahti would not allow her to see his patient. She’d have to wait until morning, anyway.