Friend Zoned (Barnett Bulldogs #2)

by Jennifer Sucevic

  “What?” Surprise laces her thick voice. Her eyes are round with shock as she watches me from where she’s still perched at the edge of my bed.

  In the three years Mia and I have been friends, we’ve never gotten into a fight or even been angry with one another. More often than not, we find ourselves on the same side of an issue. I’ve never had a girlfriend like Mia before. Over the years, I’ve grown to trust her implicitly.

  And now that trust has been broken.

  I don’t know if her telling me about what happened last night would have made one damn bit of difference. For all I know, everything might have played out exactly as it did. But I would have liked the opportunity to get in front of it. As much as it would have sucked, I could have at least spoken with Sam and prepared him for what was coming so that he wouldn’t have been totally blindsided this morning. Because that’s exactly what I imagine happened.

  Whatever I’m feeling, it has to be a thousand times worse for him.

  It still makes me nauseous to think about his naked picture being out there, circulating around campus. Women gawking and drooling over at it. Glimpsing something so private and beautiful. Something they have absolutely no right to look at.

  With exhaustion filling my voice, I finally say, “I just want to be alone right now. I need to figure out what I’m going to do about Sam.”

  Christ. What a fucked up mess. Worse, I have no idea how to make it better. He won’t even return my calls or texts.

  Even though I’m not looking at her, I hear the thick tears she’s trying to choke back. Very rarely have I seen Mia cry. Not even through all this Carter drama has she actually broken down and bawled. She’s always so strong and clear headed. Mia is all about perspective. About looking forward and not dwelling on past mistakes.

  Life is too short… that seems to be the motto she lives by.

  “Vi… I’m really sorry about all this.” Reaching out she grabs my hand, squeezing it tightly within her trembling one. “I should have told you right away. I… I had no idea this would turn into such a shit storm. I really didn’t.”

  Not wanting to discuss it anymore, I gently pull my fingers free of hers before repeating tiredly, “I know… I just… I want to be alone right now. I need to figure out how I’m going to fix this mess.”

  How I’m going to explain everything to Sam.

  How I’m going to get him to forgive me.

  Which, at this point, might not even be possible.

  For all I know, I’ve already lost him.

  “If you think it’ll help, I’ll reach out. I’ll tell him exactly what happened.” Her voice continues to wobble as she fights back the tears that are still filling her voice. “I’ll tell him that this is all my fault.”

  Her husky words have the sharpest part of my anger instantly draining away because, at the end of the day, Mia isn’t responsible for what happened. I am. I did this by taking a very private picture of Sam without his consent and leaving it carelessly on my phone where anyone could find it.

  “No.” Sucking in a ragged breath, I force my eyes to meet and hold hers. “You should have told me what happened, but I’m the one who’s responsible. I took the picture and left it on my phone. I should have never snapped it in the first place.” Tears instantly gather in my eyes. I can’t help but shake my head at my own stupidity because you hear about this kind of thing happening all the time. Someone getting their hands on private pictures and then leaking them onto the internet. “I’m such a dumbass.”

  “No, you’re not,” she says softly. “You just made a mistake.”

  I shake my head. She’s wrong… this is way more than a mistake. A mistake is ordering a sandwich with mayo and the waitress bringing it out with mustard. That’s a mistake.

  “No,” I choke out, “I used really bad judgment and invaded Sam’s privacy. Then I was careless with a picture I should have never taken in the first place. That’s so much more than a mistake.”

  “It’s not like that, Vi.”

  “Yeah,” I laugh almost hysterically, “it’s exactly like that.”

  After a few uncomfortable moments of silence, Mia sighs heavily before finally getting to her feet. “If there’s anything I can do to help, just let me know. Okay?”

  Her quiet words are met with a deafening silence because I have no idea if there’s even a way to repair the damage I’ve inflicted to my relationship with Sam.

  And that scares me more than just about anything.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Sam

  Even though the entire first floor is lit up, the house itself is eerily silent when I finally slip inside my family’s home later that night. This has been one hell of a long ass day. Fending off comments as well as the very determined girls who were chasing after me to sign their photographs is seriously the most messed up thing that has ever happened to me.

  By the time I got to practice, I just wanted to work myself over so I could finally stop thinking about all this bullshit. About Violet. And her part in this.

  For the life of me, I still can’t wrap my brain around why she would do something like this. I really can’t. If I didn’t know better… if her bag wasn’t in the shot… if I didn’t remember the morning we woke up naked in my bed… I could easily come up with some other plausible scenario, but I can’t.

  It was her.

  After inspecting the photograph carefully, I’m all but certain that it happened the night after I took her to the pool. The morning after we made love for the first time.

  I still haven’t returned any of her calls or text messages. Avoiding her like this is killing me. But I just can’t bring myself to speak with her. Not yet. Not right now. Not when I’m still feeling this raw… this exposed.

  Then throw in confused… and pissed off.

  Never, not in a million fucking years, would I have ever associated any of those emotions with Violet. I love her. I’ve always loved her and she’s gone and… I don’t even know.

  She fucking broke my heart by doing this.

  What the hell was she even thinking?

  That’s what I can’t figure out.

  Stepping into the foyer, I pause trying to gather myself. Because what needs to be dealt with right now is going to suck some major ass. I almost laugh. Yeah… that’s a massive understatement.

  For about the umpteenth time today, my phone goes off signaling an incoming text. Palming the device, I glance at the screen.

  Violet.

  Again.

  Even though it pains me to do so, I ignore it. I have to give the situation with Violet more time to settle before I deal with it. I want to be clear headed when we finally sit down and talk.

  As much as I would dearly love to do the same with my family, that’s not possible. There’s no way I can continue ignoring them. I’ve been avoiding their calls and texts for the last two hours.

  And now I’ve run out of time.

  When I’m done taking care of this, then I can focus on Violet and what’s going to happen between us because at this point, I just don’t know.

  I really don’t.

  And that sucks some major ass, too.

  If I’m being totally honest, it probably sucks more than what’s about to go down. My world has revolved around Violet for the last eight years. She’s my very heart and soul. What she did…

  It fucking hurts.

  Straightening my shoulders for the shit show that’s heading my way, I move quietly towards the kitchen. Only now do I hear the soft babble of voices. Feeling as if I’m walking to my death, I inhale a deep breath before finally making my presence known. Both my parents are sitting around the kitchen table with two of my father’s advisers. I know Josh is in charge of PR because he’s the one who lectured me before I left for college, but the other guy… I have no clue what he does.

  Although clearly it has something to do with image. Or he wouldn’t be here at this time of night.

  My eyes immediately arrow to my fat
her. As we stare silently at one another, anger radiates off him in thick oppressive waves. His eyes are all but burning with it. Feeling very much like a recalcitrant child, I shift uncomfortably under the full weight of his icy glare. It’s been a long damn time since I’ve felt this way in the presence of my parents.

  Gritting my teeth, I wait for the heaviness of his wrath to hit me full force. Because I know it will. My father continues glowering at me for a few more moments before finally biting out my name.

  “Sam.”

  I give a stiff jerk of my head in acknowledgement before my eyes slide reluctantly to my mom who is sitting rigidly next to my father. She looks pale. Disappointed. It makes me feel like a real piece of shit for being the one to cause her any heartache. She has enough BS to deal with from my father. She certainly doesn’t need it from me.

  Josh quickly gets to his feet, as does the guy next to him, before awkwardly clearing his throat. This entire situation feels brutal. “I guess we’ll leave the three of you to talk.” His eyes barely skim over me before bouncing back to my father. “Give me a call when you’re finished and we’ll discuss what options are available to deal with the situation.” He clears his throat before tacking on, “Jeff and Victoria are already looking into what can be done in regards to damage control.”

  Damage control.

  Fucking great.

  There are people, my father’s people no less, who are feverishly working to clean up this mess as we speak.

  The stiff nod my dad gives in response is barely perceptible. After that, Josh and the other guy exit the kitchen rather hastily as if they’re both trying to escape the suffocating tension that now blankets the room. For just one wistful moment, my eyes trail after them. I just want to scrub a frustrated hand through my hair, but I don’t. It won’t help. Because the silence is so stifling, we all hear the front door open before firmly closing behind them.

  Rather uncomfortably I continue hanging out in the doorway with my hands stuffed into the pockets of my jeans. Never in my wildest dreams, or nightmares as the case may be, did I ever imagine just such a scenario. I really didn’t. Maybe I’m naïve. I’ve tried to be careful about what I do, who I hang with, who I allow myself to get close to. And the fact that Violet, my best friend, the girl I’ve been in love with for the last eight years, is the one who put me in this untenable position, seriously fucking kills me.

  It really does.

  But I can’t think about that right now. I can’t think about her. I have to deal with the fallout. With my parents who look pissed as hell.

  As soon as my father is certain that his underlings have vacated the property, he tears into me. Hell, I expected no less. The entire way over, I’d been preparing myself for the very worst. Because this is a big fucking deal and I know it. In no way am I trying to downplay it.

  I can’t.

  The words, when they finally come, literally explode from his lips in one long tirade, “A picture? A fucking naked picture? Jesus Christ, how the hell could you let something like this happen?”

  “I’m sorry.” Instead of telling them the truth, that I know absolutely nothing about it, that I’m just as shocked about it as they are, I hear myself saying instead, “It was a private picture. I don’t know how it ended up online.”

  It would be oh-so-easy to throw Violet under the bus right now and lay any and all wrong doing neatly at her door. To tell them that I didn’t even know a picture existed until it was being shoved in my face this morning but… I find that I just can’t do it. Even though the smart thing would be to absolve myself of any and all culpability in this situation, I don’t. As pissed off as I am at Violet, the need to protect her is much too ingrained within me to do anything less.

  For just a moment, my father stares at me like I’m the biggest idiot he’s ever come across in his forty-some years on this earth. And yeah, I pretty much feel like a dumbass right now.

  My words sound lame as hell, even to my own ears.

  I almost cringe when he starts laughing. Slowly he shakes his head from side to side before tossing his hands up in the air. Then he slams them back down again, making the table shake. My mother flinches but doesn’t say a word. “Are you really that stupid? We’ve only talked about this kind of thing a thousand times before!”

  His face turns even more thunderous. “Nothing is fucking private in our world! There is no such thing as privacy when you’re a public figure! Pictures always get leaked. It’s not a matter of if. It’s a matter of when. You know this! I know you do because I’m the one who has been continuously drilling it into that thick skull of yours.”

  Looking exasperated, he scrubs a large hand over his face as if he’s trying to tear the flesh right off his bones. “Please tell me there’s not a video or something else out there that we now have to worry about surfacing.”

  Drawing my rigidly held shoulders back indignantly, I pull myself up to my full height as my dad continues glaring. It’s a bitter pill to swallow. I’ve never done anything to disappoint either of them before. “Of course not!”

  “Of course not,” he mimics under his breath, “how could I even ask such a thing?” He turns to my still silent mother before shaking his head as if he’s the asshole in this situation. “Clearly there’s nothing to be concerned about, Beth. I mean, it’s not like there’s a naked picture of our son floating around out there for the world to see.” Sarcasm drips from every word as he continues scowling.

  Blistering heat hits my cheeks as my fists bunch uselessly at my sides.

  Laying a tentative hand on my father’s stiff forearm, my mother tries to quietly soothe him. “Derek, please…” her words end up trailing off. Clearly she doesn’t know what to say to make this situation any better either.

  “What?” His voice rises and my mother winces just a bit before hesitantly withdrawing her hand. “Are you really going to sit there and tell me this isn’t a big deal? That it’ll blow over or die down in no time at all? That it won’t end up affecting my campaign? Or that I won’t be standing in front of a crowd, trying to discuss my plans for the next six years in office, the impact I want to make, the fucking legacy I want to leave behind, but will instead find myself fielding questions regarding the morality of my own son? Of our entire family, for that matter?”

  Those questions hang suspended in the air for a long painful heartbeat before falling to the floor and shattering into a million broken pieces. It’s softly that my mother finally murmurs, “In a few weeks, I think it will be forgotten. That picture could have been much worse.”

  Fire catches in my father’s eyes before he grounds out, “Do you realize that I have never had anything tarnish my reputation? Nothing,” he annunciates each word slowly as his eyes land squarely upon me again. “Until now.” He shakes his head. “I’ve spent my entire life in public office, that’s over twenty years, and not once have I ever had my good name dragged through the mud. My morals and ethics have never been called into question.” Abruptly he leans towards me as if he’s moments away from lunging. “And do you know why that is?”

  Being that this is more of a rhetorical question, I keep my trap firmly closed. There’s no right answer that’s going to squelch the fervor building in his eyes. It just needs to run its course. The only thing I can do is stand there, taking all the shit he keeps throwing at me.

  “Because I’m careful about the decisions I make. About the company I keep. I’m constantly weighing the consequences of my actions.” He stabs a long finger in my direction. “Clearly that’s not something you’ve been doing!”

  “Dad…”

  “Don’t fucking dad me. We’re way past that now!” As he roars the words, spittle flies from his mouth. “Don’t you get it? Everything you do affects me! Everything!”

  My shoulders slump as I force myself to steadily hold his gaze. “I know,” I finally admit, “I’m sorry.” Inhaling a deep breath, I let it escape gradually. Almost like a slow leak from a deflated balloon. “What do you
want me to do?”

  Still looking disgruntled, he shakes his head. “Josh and Mark are dealing with it as we speak. We’ll get the websites that are posting the image to take it down immediately or face legal ramifications.” As some of the anger finally recedes, exhaustion sets in. I see it in the way his broad shoulders slowly collapse, as if he’s carrying the weight of the world on top of them. And the fatigue that suddenly seeps into both his eyes and words.

  Once again I feel bad that I’m the cause of this shit storm.

  His eyes pierce mine before he reminds me rather ominously, “But it’s out there, Sam. It will always be out there. And that’s something you’ll have to live with for the rest of your life.”

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Sam

  Even though I feel like I’ve already been put through the goddamn ringer, I have one last stop to make before I can finally drag myself home for the night. No matter how bad I suspected it would go with my parents, it exceeded expectations and ended up being ten times worse. In all my life, I don’t think I’ve ever skulked out of that house. But after my father verbally handed me my ass, that’s exactly what I did.

  Even though I had nothing to do with what happened, being what tarnishes his otherwise spotless political reputation has me feeling like a real piece of shit. I just want to head back to the apartment, crawl into bed, and crash for about fifteen solid hours. I want to avoid everyone until this whole freaking thing blows over.

  But I can’t do that.

  Because I need to talk with Violet.

  I need her to do the impossible.

  I need her to make what happened today, what she did, somehow okay.

  Not speaking with her this entire day… it’s the longest we’ve ever gone without conversing. Worse- Violet is the one person I turn to when I need sound advice or just someone who will listen. She’s the one I wrap myself up in when I want to forget about the rest of the world.

  Without her…

  Without her I feel like I have no one.