by Liz Johnson
The tightness in her neck and shoulders relaxed. “Then why are you here?”
Will tried again to answer her, but she held up a hand to cut him off.
“I can’t keep doing this. It’s too hard to say goodbye every time you decide to show up and then leave again. It’s not fair. Maybe it would be easier if we weren’t friends.”
His heart stopped beating, leaving every extremity as cold as an Alaskan winter.
Jess bit her lips together until they nearly disappeared, then hiccuped.
Heat raced through him at her giveaway. She’d been crying, and she was terrified. But he could fix this. He ran across the room, stopping just a few feet from her. She leaned back but didn’t step away, so he tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear, leaving his hand on her cheek for just a moment longer than necessary.
“Sweet Jess. I was so stupid.”
She didn’t argue with him, and he swallowed a chuckle.
Her bottom lip quivered. The desire to soothe it with his own nearly made him buckle, but he fought the urge. He hadn’t earned the privilege of another kiss. Yet.
“Ten years ago, I left you because I was in love with you.”
Her mouth fluttered briefly in a wavy smile that disappeared all too soon. “That is stupid.”
“I know. I just thought that you belonged with Sal. I thought that was what you both wanted. I was too young to realize how jealous I was of what I thought you had. I thought if I left, my heart wouldn’t be broken.
“It turned out I couldn’t stop thinking about you. It didn’t matter where I was, I always missed you. I’d see something and want to tell you about it, and then remember that I wasn’t your best friend anymore.”
She stared at her clasped hands, offering him only a glimpse of another smile. “Why the navy? You hated the thought of military school.”
He couldn’t keep from touching her again, so he snagged her hand, his thumb making lazy figure eights on the back of it. “The irony isn’t lost on me. But it was the fastest way to get out of Dodge, and it turns out I’m not a half-bad sailor.
“Those early years, I spent most of my time trying and doing everything to forget you. But that wasn’t who I wanted to be, and by the grace of God, that’s not who I am now.”
“Then why—” Her voice cracked, cutting off her question. She didn’t try to pick up where she’d left off. She didn’t need to. He knew what she was asking.
“Sal saved me from being sent to military school. All the amazing things we did during our senior year I wouldn’t have been around to do if he hadn’t taken the blame and the community service for me.” Will fisted his hands in his pockets and squeezed his eyes shut. This was his moment of truth. “And up until an hour ago, I was sure that he was still in love with you.”
“What?” Her mouth hung open in a perfect O.
Will lifted a shoulder and tugged her one step toward him. “He’s my brother, and I couldn’t break his heart by trying to be with you.”
“But I haven’t spoken to him in years.”
“We didn’t talk for ten, and I love you more now than I did then.”
“Sal told me when we broke—” Jess’s eyes grew wide, her nose wrinkling. “Did you just say…I mean, do you…do you love me?” Her last words were no more than a whisper, but he’d moved close enough that volume didn’t matter.
He nodded, not even trying to fight the goofy grin he knew was plastered on his face. Digging into his pocket, he pulled out the small velvet box. Holding it in his open palm, he watched her gaze jump from his face to his hand and back again.
“Jess, can you forgive me? I wanted to stay. And now I can. Will you take me back?”
Her eyes narrowed. “What’s in the box?”
“Your present. Merry Christmas.”
She picked it up, her fingers pale and shaking against the black fabric. She flipped the lid back, and her teeth flashed in a giggle.
“It’s just like the necklace you bought us when we were juniors.” She pulled out the cheap silver charm on a fake leather strap. It was one half of a heart, with half of the inscription Best Friends.
“Almost.”
Her eyebrows pinched together.
“Look at the back.” He held up the other half of the charm, which dangled from a band around his wrist.
She pressed the pieces together, mouthing the words that he’d had added just for her. And so much more.
Closing her fist around the trinket, she leaned her forehead against his chest. She didn’t wrap her arms around him, so he forced his to stay by his sides.
“Will Gumble, I’ve been holding on to hurts for a long time. It was easier than letting you go altogether. But I can’t hold on to them anymore.”
Her words were a kick to his gut, and he gasped for air, for something to keep him standing.
And then her gentle hands settled just above his belt. “I thought you didn’t want to come back. I thought you were like my mom.”
“I have always wanted to come back for you.”
Her hands slipped around his sides and clasped at his back. “I know.”
“So? Can you forgive me?”
She nestled into him, resting her ear over his heart, which felt as if it was going to pound right out of his chest. She let out a slow sigh. “I don’t have room for any of that old bitterness. Not when I’m this much in love with you.”
He hooked a finger under her chin and tilted her head back to look into her eyes. “How much in love?”
She flipped her necklace over in her hand. “You did good, kid.”
Leaning down, he pressed his lips to hers, warmth flooding through him. This was how it always should have been. He’d lost ten years, but he refused to lose a minute more. Pulling her closer, he ran his thumbs across her cheeks, picking up a stray tear along the way.
“So, what do you say you wear that necklace for a little while, and then I’ll take you shopping for a ring? One with a diamond.”
She bit her tongue but couldn’t hide her spreading grin. “It’s a deal.”
He was smiling almost too hard to seal the deal with another kiss.
Almost.
EPILOGUE
Three months later
SEALs weren’t known for picnics and parades, but when a brother on the teams had something major to celebrate, Jess had learned to count on every available man to show up.
“Will you hurry? We’re going to be late,” Will said, standing next to his red truck, the passenger door open wide and waiting for her.
“I’m trying.” Jess scurried down the last flight of stairs from her apartment, balancing the three-tiered cake on a plate in her hands. “I know I make this look easy, but it’s not.”
Will chuckled as she reached his side, plucking the plate from her hands and planting a quick kiss on her lips. She leaned in just a bit, inhaling the scent of fresh rain that was uniquely him, mingled with the smell of the chocolate cake. Her hands free, she slipped them around his shoulders and deepened the connection.
“Whoa there.” He pulled back, a little bit breathless, and she smiled. “This isn’t the time or the place for that.”
She climbed into the bucket seat and reached for the cake. “I know. But it was fun.”
Will closed the door and hurried around the hood of the truck, giving it a quick smack, which made her jump, nearly dislodging the precariously balanced dessert.
She hoped her glare was palpable as he slipped behind the steering wheel and turned on the ignition. “That wasn’t necessary.”
“I know. But it was fun.” He mimicked her tone precisely before reaching for her hand, sliding his fingers between hers and pressing the back of it to his lips.
She laughed as the butterflies that hadn’t been dormant in months took flight in earnest.
“So you thought you’d make a dessert instead of buying one at the store?”
She looked down at the not-so-smoothly frosted sides of her slightly lopsided cake a
s he pulled onto the interstate and headed toward L.T. and Staci’s home. “Sure. I thought it would be nice.”
“Didn’t you spend something like fifty hours in the lab this week?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
The left corner of his mouth twitched as if he was trying to keep frowning but couldn’t fight a teasing smile. “Just want to make sure one of those microscopic spores didn’t manage to make it home with you and into your cake.”
She playfully smacked his shoulder as his laughter pealed through the cab. “You’re awful, Will Gumble. You had me really worried.”
He kissed her hand again, and she leaned across the median to rest her head on his shoulder, where she left it for the rest of the silent ride.
When they pulled up in front of L.T.’s home, pink and blue balloons bounced on ribbons tied to the mailbox. Definitely Ashley’s doing. Not even Staci would have announced so much to the whole neighborhood.
Matt and Ashley’s SUV and Luke’s coupe were already parked along the street, and Will stopped right behind his best friend’s car. Then he ran around to Jess’s door to help her out. She handed over her cake and hopped down, snuggling into his side as they made their way up the walk.
Before they could even ring the bell, Ashley threw the door open, greeting them with a laughing cry.
Jess hugged her friend around the two-month-old in her arms before brushing a kiss across little Nate’s wispy hair.
“I’m so glad you made it.” Ashley swept her free arm toward the living room. “Everyone’s in there. And the food is on the island in the kitchen.”
“Everyone” turned out to be Luke, Zig and Matt chatting in the corner, and Jordan talking with L.T. and Staci, who were snuggling with the newly adopted addition to their family, almost-three-year-old Winnie Grace. The little girl had visited Pacific Coast House with Staci several times over the past two months and effectively stolen the heart of everyone she met. When Winnie saw Jess, her blue eyes grew wide, and she wiggled until her dad set her on the ground. Blond ringlets bouncing, she danced around the coffee table and reached her arms up. Jess couldn’t deny the sweet girl, so she plucked her up and gave her cheek a wet and wild raspberry.
Winnie squealed and flung her arms around Jess’s neck. “Did you know this is my forever home? And they’re my forever mommy and daddy?”
Jess suddenly couldn’t swallow for the lump that filled her throat. “I did.” It came out hoarse, and she tried to make up for it with a smile, all the while blinking hard against the tears in her eyes.
L.T. and Staci were going to be such amazing parents, and Jess’s heart leaped just to share a fraction of their joy. Staci had always longed to be a mom, but was unable to have biological children of her own. When they’d heard about Winnie, who needed parents, they’d jumped at a chance to grow their family.
Jess couldn’t help but match the smile that lit Staci’s entire face.
She hadn’t spent much time thinking about children of her own, but now… All she could picture were little boys with brown hair, eyes the color of milk chocolate and little dimples in their right cheeks.
Catching Will’s eye across the room, she bit her bottom lip. He winked at her, but his smile faltered as his gaze turned appraising.
“Can we go outside and play on the swings with Jasper?” Winnie rescued Jess from overanalyzing what Will’s look really meant.
“Sure.” She corralled the youngsters through the back door and settled them in the plastic stirrups of the homemade swing set. The cousins laughed and jabbered as she took turns pushing them. After a few minutes, they hopped down and ran back inside.
Jess turned her back to the house, lifting her face to the cool breeze coming off the Pacific. Hugging herself against the chill that raced down her spine, she closed her eyes, just enjoying the moment.
Suddenly two hands slid down her arms, encircling her. She leaned against a wall of muscle and rested her head against Will’s shoulder. Kissing her ear, he sighed.
“They’re so happy,” he said. She nodded in response. “You ever think about having kids?”
“Sometimes,” she said.
His arms tightened just enough to make her smile. “What do you think about when you do?”
Her stomach rolled, another chance to choose to end the bitterness that she’d carried for sixteen years. Taking a cleansing breath, she let it go, let the reminders of her mother’s betrayal vanish with the wind. “I think about how I’m never going to leave them. About how I want them to have a dad who loves them as much as my dad loves me.”
She angled her head to get a look at Will’s face. But she couldn’t tell what he was thinking past the angle of his chin and the flex of his jaw.
“What about you?”
He shifted his weight to his other foot, his hands trembling, despite their warmth.
“Will?” She tried to pull away, but his embrace was firm.
“Mostly I think about how much I just want you to be my kids’ mom.”
Her pulse skittered and stopped before rushing so hard that it made everything inside her tingle.
“Jess, I love you. And I was going to wait to ask until you were sure. But I can’t wait. I want to marry you so much.”
His words jumbled together in her mind, and all she could retain was one sentence. “Until I’m sure?” Forcing him to let her spin around in his arms, she hooked her hands behind his neck and tilted his head down until his gaze met hers. His chocolate eyes were swirling with uncertainty and hope.
Grabbing on to the cheap pendant at her throat, she said, “I’ve been sure since you gave me this.”
His forehead wrinkled. “And when I deploy?”
“I have friends and family who’ll be here for me.” His heart galloped under her palm against his chest. “And I know you’ll come back for me.”
He closed his eyes, every line on his face relaxing, and he pressed his forehead to hers. “So you want to marry me or what?”
She’d have flown apart if he wasn’t holding her so tight. “Definitely.”
When he pressed his lips to hers, all was right with the world. She snuggled closer, ready to spend the rest of her life with this man, who had proved that he’d do anything to protect her.
“Eww!” Winnie cried from the open door. “Aunt Jess is kissing Uncle Willie!”
Will laughed against Jess’s lips, his nose bumping into hers. “I think I will again, if that’s okay.”
“Always.”
*
Read on for an extract from SILVER LAKE SECRETS by Alison Stone.
Dear Reader,
I’m absolutely delighted to share another book in the Men of Valor miniseries with you. I hope you enjoyed Jess and Will’s story.
I first introduced Will in A Promise to Protect, and knew that the kid with a smart mouth was going to be a favorite of mine. Finding him just the right match in his longtime friend, Jess, was a joy.
They each carried scars from their past—Jess the bitterness of betrayal and Will the guilt of betraying her. As I wrote their story, I was reminded that forgiveness is a choice. It can feel daunting to face such deep wounds, but choosing to hang on to bitterness only gives the other person the power to cause injury again and again. When you’re faced with a choice to forgive or hang on to the pain, I hope you’ll choose forgiveness and trust that God is with you, giving you the strength to keep moving forward.
Thanks for spending your time with us. I’m so grateful to get to share these books with you. I’d love to hear from you. You can reach me at [email protected], Twitter.com/LizJohnsonBooks, or Facebook.com/LizJohnsonBooks.
Questions for Discussion
Which character in this book do you most relate to? Why did you pick that person?
Jess and Will share a lot of history. Whose friendship have you enjoyed for the longest? Why have you stayed close?
Have you ever lost touch with a close friend? What do you think
it would take to rekindle that friendship? Could you pick up where you’d left off ten years before?
Some long-distance friendships are held together by phone calls and letters, and it feels as if no time has passed when the friends are together again. Do you have any friendships like that? What makes them special?
Sometimes friendships end for reasons beyond just losing touch. Have you ever had a falling-out with a friend or family member? Did you reconcile with him or her? What would it take to restore your relationship?
Jess’s mom left her when she was twelve, and it left wounds of bitterness and distrust. Have you been scarred by a past pain? How have you dealt with it? If you were in Jess’s shoes could you forgive your mom for leaving?
At one point Jess says that she can trust Will, but she’s not sure she can forgive him. What do you think the difference between trust and forgiveness is?
Like Will, many of us have made bad decisions in our lives, but he tries to make up for them. What regrets have you tried to make right? What was the result of your efforts?
Will was prompted to change his life when he met other SEALs who were men of honor and integrity, and he realized that he needed God’s help to change. Have you had a mentor or spiritual encourager who helped you make changes in your life? What was that relationship like?
Which scene in the book is your favorite? Why did you like it?
At the end of the book, Jess chooses to forgive Will, letting go of the bitterness and replacing it with love. When have you chosen to forgive someone? Did you replace that pain with something else?
Why do you think Will and Jess make a good match? Do you think their history will make their life together easier or harder? Why?
ONE
The whirring of the tow truck’s motor sliced through the cold, eerie silence. A thin layer of ice coated the freshly fallen snow. Chief Brett Eggert chose his steps carefully as he walked along the curved country road. Head bent against the blinding snowstorm, he examined the quickly disappearing tire tracks that left the road at the curve and vanished into the black, murky water through an ominous opening in an otherwise frozen lake.