Never Far Away

by Marysue Hobika

  Stella

  I was practically in tears by the time I got back to the dorms. I put my key in the lock and opened the door.

  Tori and Lena were already back. Taking one look at my face, they pulled me into a group hug.

  “What the hell happened?” Asked Lena.

  “Teddy didn’t like the outfit?” Tori was in shock. Since I didn’t wear the outfit we shopped for on the train ride home, I was wearing it now as a last ditch effort. “Is he gay?”

  A harsh laugh erupted from my throat. “Teddy’s not gay. He’s just not into me.” Saying that out loud hurt and a giant hole formed in my chest, reminding me of the Olympian bobsled racer who punched his way out of his hotel bathroom when he’d gotten locked in. That was how I felt—destroyed.

  “He’s a fucking idiot.” Tori didn’t hold back.

  I collapsed, barely making it to my bed. “I didn’t wear the outfit on the way home because I woke up late and almost missed the train. I saved it for the train ride back and he barely looked at me.”

  “He’s gay.”

  I shook my head. I knew from Teddy’s hot kisses that there was no way in hell he was gay. Thinking about his lips on mine caused a fresh round of tears to fall.

  I didn’t know where things went wrong, but I tried to explain. Maybe talking about it with my friends would help. “I showed up late on Wednesday morning and he was pissed, like I’d just committed the crime of the century. He acted like a dick then he fell sleep. The ride back to the city was no better.”

  “Damn!” The bed dipped slightly as Tori sat down next to me and wrapped her arms around me.

  “That doesn’t make any sense.” Lena scratched her head. “There must be something else. Just because you were late doesn’t give him the right to treat you like shit.”

  “You don’t know Teddy. Punctuality is a priority for him.”

  “Sounds to me like your teddy bear got scared.” Tori suggested. “There’s no way in hell he could ignore you looking like that unless—“

  “He’s not gay!” I exclaimed, wanting to laugh and cry at the same time.

  “I bet he got spooked.” Lena fed off of Tori’s theory. “And I doubt he was actually asleep.” She rolled her eyes. “As if he could sleep with you next to him wearing those boots. Most likely he was dreaming of all the things he wanted to do to you while wearing them.”

  “I don’t think so.” Why would Teddy pretend? Why wouldn’t he talk to me if he were really interested?

  “I have three brothers, trust me, I know these things. Guys get scared when they start to have real feelings.” Lena came from a big family. She had three older brothers and one younger sister.

  “That doesn’t make any sense.” I wiped at my tears.

  “I know. My older brother Zac broke up with his girlfriend Julia when she wanted to get serious.”

  “What happened?”

  “Julia didn’t give up on my brother and last summer they got married.” Lena paused and then rushed to add, “I just found out over Thanksgiving that I’m going to be an aunt.” Lena was practically bouncing up and down with excitement.

  “That’s great.” I stood and gave Lena a hug. However, I wasn’t fooled into thinking I’d be granted the same happy ending.

  “Congratulations!” Tori hugged her too.

  “The question is what are you going to do about Teddy?” Leave it to Lena not to let me forget what we had been talking about.

  “Nothing.” I’d tried to talk to him on the train ride back to the city, but he wasn’t having it. I didn’t think there was anything else I could do. I didn’t think I scared Teddy away, I think he just didn’t have feelings for me. I must have misinterpreted his flirting and the way he looked at me when we’d said goodbye after our date. At the time I thought he was going to kiss me, but he didn’t. And knowing Teddy, if he’d wanted to kiss me he would have. He’d done it before.

  My phone vibrated in my pocket. It was Reed. He wanted to take me out. Suddenly I knew what I was going to do. I needed someone who was the opposite of Teddy. Reed would be perfect. I didn’t like tattoos, but I could over look those. He was hot and I admired his persistence. I sent him a quick reply.

  Theo

  I was sitting at a lone cubicle in the library on campus, cramming for an exam. I’d been working harder than ever, losing myself in schoolwork and projects. But there were times like right now when it wasn’t working. I was still dreaming of silky white skin and long sculpted legs when I didn’t want to be. The skirt and boots she’d worn on the train ride home had me waking up every morning with a raging hard-on. I sighed and jammed my shit into my bag. I had to get out of there.

  I’d been trying to get Stella out of my system for the past week. The train back to the city was quiet. I kept what little remained of my heart locked away. Her playful teasing hadn’t caused any sort of reaction. I remained indifferent the whole trip. It was hard too with the skirt and boots she’d been wearing. I had fantasies about those boots. They went up to her knees and all I wanted to do was peel them off one by one and run my hands all over her skin. She asked me several times what my problem was, but I refused to open my mouth and tell her that she deserved to be with someone who’d treat her better than her boyfriend. No run was long enough and no girl felt good enough. Every time I’d tried to hook up with a chick to erase Stella from my mind, all I saw was blond hair and pale skin. Once I’d even called some girl ‘Stella.’ That was when I knew I had it bad. From that point on I swore off girls and focused all my energy on schoolwork. Only that wasn’t working right now either.

  I got back to the apartment and the guys had plans to go out to grab something to eat. Time hanging with the guys was what I needed. No more chicks and their stupid fucking drama.

  We walked to our favorite local hot spot—The Lion’s Head. We ordered a round of beers, chicken wings, and fries. The food tasted great and I began to forget my problems until Joe opened his big mouth.

  “Some chick by the bar can’t keep her eyes off of you, and she’s just your type.”

  “How do you know?” Hot sauce dribbled down my chin and I grabbed a napkin to wipe it.

  “’Cause she’s a hot blond. And she’s been eye fucking you for the last fifteen minutes.”

  “Dude, go talk to her. I’m sure she’d be happy to keep you warm tonight,” Darian laughed. I’d been irritable ever since I returned from break and the guys had been razzing me that I needed to get laid.

  I looked over at the bar. Joe was wrong—she wasn’t my type. Anymore. I went back to eating chicken wings, washing them down with big gulps of beer. “I’m not feeling it.”

  “If you’re not going pounce on that, mind if I do?” Darian wouldn’t hit on a girl I was taking home. It was against our code.

  “She’s all yours.” I took another swig and watched as Darian made his way over to the blond. Joe and I shot the shit while we finished the last of the chicken wings. When we were done I stood to take a piss and Joe went to talk to a chick that caught his eye.

  I rounded the corner to the back hall where the shitters were when I suddenly stopped in my tracks. Stella was standing with her back against the wall and a guy pressed up against her, holding her wrists in his hands above her head. Anyone else walking by might think they were just trying to get it on and should really get a room, but my instincts knew better. Her head was turned away and her body language was off. She was stiff and scared.

  “Reed, let go of me.” Her voice was like a plea and I immediately shot into action. I knew that name. That was the asshole who sent her the dirty text.

  I didn’t even think. I grabbed him by the back of the shirt and pulled him off of her, immediately getting in his face and keeping Stella behind me. “She said to let the fuck go.” The look on his face confirmed that I’d been right. My stomach churned with the knowledge that this scumbag wasn’t against taking girls against their will.

  “She knows she wanted it. She was asking for it with t
he way she’s dressed.” I heard Stella let out a sob behind me.

  I didn’t waste time arguing. I punched him. I hated guys like him who thought it was okay to take what they wanted. I pulled my arm back and punched him again, only this time he was ready and blocked it. He was covered in tats and had some serious muscles but it didn’t make a difference. I was pissed. No one would put their hands on Stella if she didn’t want them to and get away with it. He tried to throw a punch at me, but he was drunk and slow. I easily dodged him. I punched him again and I heard a crack. I’d never been so angry in my life. I didn’t think I could stop. I didn’t want to stop. This guy deserved to die. He fell to his knees after I got in a good jab to the gut.

  Someone was grabbing at the back of my shirt and yelling. “Stop, Teddy. Please, stop.” It was being called “Teddy” that made me pause.

  I turned to her, the angry fog I’d been immersed in finally lifted. “Are you okay?” Worry seized me. I quickly scanned her with my eyes. I didn’t see any evidence that he’d hurt her. Hopefully I’d found her in time.

  “Take me home. Please.” She looked up at me with her beautiful blue eyes and I knew I’d do anything for this girl. I loved her even though I’d been pretending I didn’t. I glanced down at the asshole. She was right—it was time to go. I had to get her out of here before he caught his breath and came after her.

  “Do you want to press charges?” My voice was rough and raw. I’d witnessed the asshole feeling her up.

  “No. Nothing happened. You showed up just in time.” My body was still wound tight, but my shoulders relaxed a little.

  “If you’re sure.” I waited for her to nod her head yes. “Then let’s get outta here.” She flew into my chest, wrapping her arms around me. Her body shook and I felt my T-shirt getting damp. She was crying. I picked her up, cradling her in my arms. She didn’t protest. She simply tucked her head under my chin and held on to me as if her life depended on it. I carried her through the bar and out the door. No one stopped us. I put her down outside. Light snowflakes were falling. A white blanket covered the ground. It was a sharp contrast to where we’d just been and it was almost magical—except I was a dude and I didn’t really believe in all that shit. Then Stella opened her pouty lips and spoke.

  “Can I stay with you tonight? I don’t want to be alone. I feel safe with you.” My breath caught in my throat. I studied her to see if maybe I was hallucinating again. But I wasn’t. Stella was real. I felt her soft cheek under my thumb and she stared at me with a mixture of fright and something else. Something I didn’t dare try to analyze right now, lest I get my hopes up.

  “Sure.” My voice cracked with emotion. I didn’t know what would happen once we got back to my apartment, but we’d figure it out. I wanted Stella, all of her, but I was willing to hold her all night if that was what she wanted. She’d been through a lot and I didn’t expect anything. I just wanted to be there for her. The fact that she wanted me at all meant the world to me.

  We walked to my place. We didn’t talk. Words would have seemed out of place. The snow made everything quiet and a hush had settled on the city. I thought back to the day when we’d last played together in the snow, making a snowman. It was a few years ago. She’s asked me to help her with a photography project. It had been a fun afternoon, one of the few occasions we’d gotten along and I hadn’t wanted to strangle her. I wondered if she was thinking the same thing. I pulled her closer to me and kissed the top of her head.

  Once we were in my apartment I led her to my room. Never once letting go. I thought if I stopped touching her for even a second, I’d wake up and discover it had been a dream. I didn’t want too much light to flood the room, so I switched on my lava lamp instead. I knew it was cliché but hey, I was a college guy.

  “Wait here.” I walked her to the edge of my bed so she could sit down. “I need to go to the bathroom.” I hated to leave her, but I had to inspect my hands in the light. They hurt from wailing on the asshole and I knew the skin had broken open across my knuckles. I didn’t say any of that though because I knew she didn’t need the reminder of what he almost did. She still looked shaken and vulnerable.

  She nodded.

  In the bathroom I washed my hands and examined them closely. They were cut and bruised, but I’d survive. I lathered an antibacterial ointment across the wounds and hastily wrapped them with some bandages I found in a first aid kit my mom had insisted I take to school. Three minutes later I returned to my room and Stella was sitting on my bed right where I left her. It was probably the first time she ever listened to me and I cracked a smile.

  She, however, didn’t smile back. As soon as I walked into the room she zeroed in on my hands and winced. “Are you okay?” She stood and took my hands in hers.

  “I’m fine.” I reassured her. “It’s no big deal. It looks worse than it is. I only had one size bandages.” For some reason the kit only contained extra large band-aids. I don’t know what my mom was afraid was going to happen to me.

  She brought my right hand, the one I’d used to hit the asshole, and kissed it tenderly. Her lips felt like a magical potion, healing me on contact. “Thank you, Teddy. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t shown up. I never should’ve agreed to go out with him, but he’d been hounding me for months.” She blinked back tears that formed in her eyes.

  Her comment surprised me. Wasn’t he her boyfriend? “That was the first time you went out with him?”

  “Yeah.” She bit the inside of her cheek.

  Motherfucker! I’d read that wrong and now I felt like a dick for treating her like shit on the train and for wasting time. I could’ve been with her for the past few weeks. I needed a good ass kicking. I’d put myself through hell for nothing. He wasn’t her boyfriend. He was some asshole who’d been stalking her and was trying to get in her pants. I never should’ve pretended I hadn’t seen the text. Anger filled me at the thought of what could’ve happened. I’d die if anything happened to Stella. I couldn’t think about that right now. She was okay and she was here with me. I focused on that. On her. I moved my hand over her head, feeling her soft hair.

  “I need to apologize to you. I saw a text from that asshole the day we went to brunch and I thought he was your boyfriend. That’s why I acted like a dick. Sorry.” My voice was full of regret. I’d die right now if this changed things between us.

  “Oh, Teddy. You should’ve told me.”

  “I know.” My voice was raw and filled with emotion. I tried to make up my mind about my next move. I wanted to kiss her, but I didn’t want her to feel like it was all I wanted. I would hold her all night long just to be with her and make her feel safe again.

  Stella didn’t wait for me to make up my mind. She wrapped her arms around my neck and brought her lips up to mine. And nothing in my whole life had prepared me for the feeling that instantly consumed me. My whole world exploded and a new one formed. It was like I hadn’t known what living was until that moment. That kiss was a million times more powerful than the other two we’d shared. And those had been pretty fucking incredible. We held onto each other for several long moments, getting reacquainted with each other’s mouths.

  Looking Stella in the eye and placing my hands on either side of her face, I whispered, “Are you sure about this?” I needed her to be 100 percent sure, because I knew things were about to change. We could never go back to just being friendly neighbors. Kissing Stella meant everything and I’d never want to stop. She was in my heart and I wanted to make sure she was okay with staying there. “About us?” I wanted to make sure she understood that this wasn’t a one-night stand. This was for keeps.

  “It’s always been you. Only you. I’ve been in love with you for as long as I can remember.” She looked at me with those crystal blue eyes framed by long eyelashes and I recognized the love shining in them that had always been there. I had been too blind to see it for what it was. I knew my face reflected the same expression as hers. I was head over heels in love. “Will
you be with me tonight, please?”

  She didn’t need to ask me twice. “I love you.” I’d never spoken those words to a girl, but they fell off my tongue easily. They were the truth. I loved Stella with my whole heart. She was the only one for me.

  I picked her up and carried her to my bed. Before lying down next to her I shed my shirt and kicked off my shoes. Stella sat up to remove her boots—the ones that went up to her knees. Damn! I loved those boots. She was about to take one off when I knelt between her legs. “Lay back. Let me do that.” My voice crackled with lust. Peeling these very boots off of Stella was a fantasy of mine. I lightly pushed her back on the bed. Then slowly, ever so slowly, I unzipped one boot and tugged it off. I held her stocking foot in my hand and kissed her arch. I didn’t have a foot fetish—but when it came to Stella every part of her body was a work of art. I ran my hand up her leg, enjoying how she felt. I repeated the process with the second boot. I couldn’t wait to feel her bare skin, but I wanted to take my time—savoring the moment.

  Finally I lay down on the bed next to her. She still had all her clothes on, but I’d strip those all off too in good time. My first priority was giving her mouth the attention it deserved. I kissed her lips, parting them slightly so I could taste her completely. She was sweet and tangy with a hint of wildness hidden underneath. I sucked on her tongue and bit her bottom lip. She didn’t hold back and eagerly explored my mouth.

  I nipped her neck and licked down her throat. Her back arched off the bed and I’d barely gotten started. I was a nerd of all sorts—in the classroom and in the bedroom. I was ready to show Stella all kinds of wonderful.

  Next, I pulled her shirt over her head and tossed it on the floor. I eased down her skirt and stockings until all that she had on was her bra and panties. I feasted my eyes upon her beautiful body. I’d seen Stella in her teeny bikini many times during the summer when she came swimming at our pool, but it was nothing to having her in a similar state of undress in my bed. Stella in my bed blew my fucking mind. I pulled in a ragged breath.