Two Walls and a Roof

by John Michael Cahill

  My Nannie had a large 23 inch Pilot set and my mother had a smaller 19 inch Philips set which was always in trouble. That meant that a man called Larry Andersen was a regular visitor to my mother’s house, and to a lesser extent, to Nannie’s also as he fixed both of them. He worked for a company called Buckley’s Stores in Millstreet town, the location for a famous Eurovision Song Contest held there in later years. On one of these occasions the mother asked Larry, who she liked a lot, if he had any job going for a ‘good lad’. She was meaning Kyrle, as we were both still going to Charleville Tech at that time, and she was preparing the road for her son. I had met Larry a few times when he was fixing Nannie’s set, but I was too shy to ask him for a job even though I loved what he was doing. He had no job then, but told mother that he would keep her in mind if a job became available. She was determined that Kyrle would get a good job, and soon she had answered an advertisement for a job in the ‘P & T’ as it was known then. This was the state owned Department of Posts and Telegraphs, later to separate out into the Post Office and Ireland’s national broadcaster now known as RTE. Kyrle went for that job and got it. He took off for Dublin where my aunt May was putting him up until he got on his feet and earned enough to move out on his own. When he began he worked in the phone service, and in typical form he began to study for promotion, which he got very rapidly due to his ability to learn with ease.

  Kyrle had barely begun working in his new job in Dublin when Larry returned looking for him. He was already committed and I was ‘volunteered’ for Larry’s job. I wasn’t even asked if I wanted it. The Nan told me that I had to take it as it would bring in ‘steady money’. Larry didn’t mind, but I think he would have preferred Kyrle as he knew him better than me. The job had an immediate start, so I had to leave school without finishing it as Larry was opening his own business in Mallow, and he wanted a boy who was honest, who would work cheap and learn to fix TVs. That was exactly what he got. I was fed up with school anyway, and I didn’t want to be poor all my life, so I gladly took the job and the tiny apprenticeship salary going with it. I can clearly see my first day at work just as if it were happening to me right now. Mallow is seven miles south of Buttevant and I had no transport of any kind other than my old push bike. On my very first day I got a drive to Mallow from a local man that the mother knew. He took me right to the shop and said, “That’s it,” and left me to my own devices. I was just 18 years old then and as innocent as you could get, despite the general belief by Nannie that I knew everything. However, I had two things going for me: I was inherently honest with money due to Nannie beating it into me earlier in life, and I loved electronics with a burning passion.

  When I first saw the little shop I was not impressed at all. It had a big sign over the door saying ‘Mallow TV Service’, and Larry and his first wife Eileen were living in an apartment above the shop. I went in and knocked on a little frosted glass window that was in the middle of a wooden partition which divided the workshop part from the customer’s front area. A small narrow door was also fitted into this partition and it had all the signs of a do-it-yourself job. If this was Larry’s place, then I saw a similarity to how we Cahills did things and I relaxed a little bit while I waited for someone to answer my knocking. No one did, so I went in the little door and on my right was a narrow staircase going up to the flat above. My first real shock came when I saw Larry come running down the stairs stuffing his shirt inside his pants, and on seeing me for the first time close up, realized ‘this is him’. I saw his shock too and thought this may not be such a good idea after all. He shook hands with me and said welcome, then he told me to do whatever I liked that day as he had to rush off to Millstreet because he was late, and straight out the door he went.

  I was at a loss as to know what to do. I was in a small room converted to a workshop. It was about eight feet by six feet with its unfinished wooden partition dividing this inside office area from the outside world. The customer area outside was known as ‘the shop’ and it had a fair-sized window with a large shelf area facing the street. The entrance door was a divided affair with some small panes of glass giving light into the shop. There were TV sets strewn all over the place and some radios too. Confusion seemed to be the order of the day. The toilet was shared between us and a printing business, and it was located down a half-covered laneway beside our shop. The actual toilet itself was a small cubicle area with a red door, and aside from us and the printers, anyone else who knew of its location seemed to be free to use it. Quite soon I concluded that I better never get ‘the runs’ as I’d never make it down that lane in time, or it might even be occupied.

  Back inside the little workshop, the walls had been covered with a big Pilot TV diagram and a shelf or two which held various bits of TVs and radios. There was a marble fireplace on one wall which was never used, and a long workbench ran along most of the back wall, except for a really tiny area to the right under the stairs. This little area was to become my workbench when Larry would be using the main bench. No one can imagine nowadays a little business like this unless you live in the wilds of China, but that business was where I was about to spend the next twenty years of my life. Those years were without doubt going to become times of incredible happiness for both me and Larry, but all that was ahead of me still, and on my first day I was petrified and disappointed with where I was. Larry told me to knock off at six just before he shot out the door and was gone like a flash, shouting back that he’d see me tomorrow when he had more time. I sat down in a kind of daze and looked out through the frosted window wondering if this was going to become my life from then on.

  Just under the window Larry had placed a table with a small green money box. This little table area, complete with its money box, was to be where I would take in any rent money and also the payment for repairs to people’s television sets. All that was the theory at least, and all of my duties had been explained to me in the few minutes before Larry took off. As we spoke I began to like him immediately, within a matter of minutes actually. He seemed to be really a mad, nice guy, and I felt he wouldn’t fire me easily, so I relaxed a bit as he spoke. Very soon he was gone and I was left all alone, now ‘in charge’ of the shop - his shop, and I had no idea how I was even going to get to this workplace tomorrow.

  As I mused on what lay ahead for me, there was a shadow at the glass followed by a loud buzzing noise which scared the hell out of me. A customer was at the window pressing a buzzer which Larry had forgotten to show me. I slid across the glass pane and there stood a woman wanting to pay her TV rent money with a ten shilling note in her hand. I was so nervous that I took it, put it in the box and said thanks, then closed the window and sat down again shaking nervously. The buzzer went off again and I slid across the glass. The woman just stared at me and I stared back at her saying, “Thank you misses”. Still she seemed not satisfied, then finally she said, “Where’s my change, do you think I’m a fool or what?” Then I felt like the fool as I fumbled in the box, wondering what change I should give her. I had no idea, and in the end I had to ask her what change she wanted. She told me and left in a huff. Then I immediately counted the money in the little tin box not wanting to be accused of anything. I wrote the amount down, as I wanted all to be right by evening time. I made my own little ledger; Larry had none, and this was what I used for a number of days, carefully adding all the money each evening, and checking and double checking all the time to make sure that none had gone missing. I was terrified of loosing my job because Larry seemed to have made a big thing about honesty when he talked to the mother. As it turned out, he need not have worried as honesty had become a principle of mine by then.

  My next shock came later that morning when I saw Eileen, Larry’s wife, arriving down the stairs, because she too was from Buttevant and I knew her. She made me feel at home instantly and asked me if I wanted some tea. I was really very shy at that stage, especially with older women, and I refused politely even though I would have loved a cup of tea at that moment. Nann
ie had made me a few sandwiches and some milk in a bottle as my lunch, and so I resigned myself to that place for better or worse. It was not my ideal of a job, but it was a job nonetheless and I determined to make the best of it as Larry was nice at least. That morning I know that I did not have one single penny in my pocket. I know too that I decided there and then to save money so that I would not feel so broke in the future. I made that commitment to myself while standing at the door of the shop looking out onto the street and the rain, and it feels like it was just yesterday.

  Lunchtime came round and I ventured off down the town. Mallow as a town was completely alien to me, and I knew Charleville far better from my recent school days. Of course, according to Nannie, Mallow was a ‘den of iniquity’, but she said it would do for now and would ‘give me a start’. Twenty years later she was still saying it would do for a start. Even though I often told her that I was very happy there, she still felt I deserved better.

  I always loved inventions. They are in my blood, no doubt coming from Big Kyrl’s side, but of late I realize too that my mother also had the gift of a creative mind. She absolutely amazes me with some of the ideas she comes out with today, usually ones designed to make life easier, especially for old people. However, in those early years we just ignored the mother, especially when it came to anything requiring brain power, because according to Nannie ‘sure she’s useless’.

  Larry Andersen would soon become the most inventive person I ever met in my life. His people were also inventors, and he told me that during the war his dad had made a car run on charcoal when petrol was scarce. Larry continued this fascination with energy later, especially with his ideas on ‘perpetual motion’. I was destined to have a first hand experience of this energy work within days of beginning his employment. My second day with Larry was almost as bad as the first; again he ran out the door saying I did real good for the first day, and he’d see me tomorrow for sure. He was gone and again I remember feeling very much alone. I noticed that Larry’s customers were mostly people who came in to pay for televisions that he was renting to them, but he had no system of records. Even I knew this was not a good way to do business and I planned to bring it up with him if we ever got to sit down together.

  On my third day of work I arrived in finding Larry sitting down at the desk quite calmly for a change. It was a Wednesday and he told me that he always had that day off, and it was also a half day in Mallow. Now we were going to spend some time together. At first it felt very awkward as I was so shy, but I believe that he noticed this side of me and made light of it. As the day wore on and we chatted about what we liked to do in life, he came to the conclusion that both he and I were mad on inventions. As an aside we both also dreamed of becoming millionaires as well.

  Soon I began to relax, and liked him more and more as the day wore on. He was funny, had a strange kind of moustache, jet black hair, and he laughed every chance he got. I figured too that he was a good practical joker like me, and so I felt that we had lots in common already.

  We talked about energy-saving ideas, which were his favourite subject then, and as if on cue he says, “Wait till I show you my latest invention”. He told me that it was a new kind of ‘heater’ based on the idea of using light as heat. I had my doubts about the concept, but before I could argue he says, “Watch this,” and then he plugged in a wire leading to a large television cabinet under the bench. That might be a normal enough event in a TV shop, but in Larry’s invention, that cabinet was full of very large 250 watt light bulbs.

  The minute he plugged it in there was a big bright flash, and immediately the whole of our little workshop became as bright as the sun. I was blinded by the light, literally. He says, “What do you think of that John, isn’t she great? That’s our new heater. It’s made of bulbs and they give off light which is heat, as you know”. I didn’t know what to say, believing that at a minimum I’d better be buying sunglasses, and in the worst case scenario, I would be freezing to death at work in the winter. With this kind of thinking, day three had me seriously worried, believing I might be in the wrong job with the wrong person after all.

  While I’m trying to figure out what to say next, the buzzer on the counter goes off. Larry turns away from the light and slides the glass window across. It’s an old woman wanting to pay her rent money. As he opens the glass window, I see her stagger backwards clutching her eyes, saying, “Jesus Mary and Holy Saint Joseph, what’s going on in there? I only came in to pay me rent”. Unperturbed, Larry says, “Tis all right maam, I was just showing my new man here our new heater,” and with that he turns back to me and says, “Plug it out there John, will you, it might still need a bit of work done on it”.

  Then in the relative darkness, the old woman warily returns to the little counter and gets out her money, all the time cautiously staring back in at me. As she is paying, she says to Larry, “Is he going to be in there all winter with that light, because if he is he’d better be getting sunscreen,” and then she bursts out laughing, confirming my worst of all fears. It wasn’t just me that thought it was an insane idea.

  When she’s gone Larry says, “Well what you think of it,” and then all excited he plugged ‘the sun’ back in again. Not wanting to be impolite on my first real day I say that I like the idea of saving energy, but can we block off the light as it was blinding everyone, including me. Larry looks at me in astonishment, and then says, “But tis the light that’s the heat, don’t you get it?” Our very first argument was about to begin, and after an hour or so of this debating back and fourth, Larry’s compromise was to point the box at the far wall, lighting it up like Big Kyrl’s cinema screen. It looked like the new ‘heater’ was staying and I better be getting a warm jumper for the winter.

  The heater was a failure because of the blinding light and Larry capitulated, but only partly. His newer version was a smaller, more individual heater. He decided that both of us would have our own individual ‘box heater’, as he called it. This was a strong cardboard box with holes cut in the front for our feet. We could literally stand into it, or sit with our feet going into our heater, and of course the heating element was once again his high power bulbs, now confined to a smaller area. This type would last us for numerous years, and though a real fire hazard, it actually worked brilliantly because if my feet get cold I am useless. I loved his ‘box heater’ so much so that all of my life I have made one, and as I write these words in January, my feet are stuck inside my own cardboard box, fed by an infra red chicken light. Larry’s invention still lives on.

  While I was initially getting a drive to work on a temporary basis, I used to have to hitch a spin home every evening. I hated doing this hitching even though it was quite common then. Since that time I have always hated to pass anyone who is hitching, and invariably I’ll stop and offer a spin. It always amazed me how so many people would pass you, especially when it rained. I discovered years later they were afraid to get their cars wet. My temporary morning drive soon stopped after some time, and then I was on the road full-time with thumb out both morning and evening all through that winter. It was very hard going, and then my determination to get some form of transport set in. Though it would take a miracle with what I was earning, I believed I would soon get wheels.

  I remember giving my first week’s wages to my Nannie with a great joy in my heart. It was the large sum of thirty shillings; the equivalent of one Euro fifty today. She took it all from me as if to test me, and when I said nothing and began to leave, she gave it all back to me again. Then she asked me how much I wanted to keep. I clearly remember just wanting to buy my own lunch in the town, and not have to eat her inedible sandwiches, though I didn’t put it like that to her.

  We agreed a deal, and from that day on I always gave up my money to the Nan. I felt real good about doing so too, as it was the first time that Nannie had some stable money, aside from her little pension. The very first thing I did the following Monday at lunchtime was to skimp on my lunch money, and open an account
in the Mallow Credit Union. I planned to save up for a second-hand motor bike and get me out of the thumbing business once and for all. Over the coming months Larry began to teach me about television and how it all worked. We argued incessantly about electronics and inventions, and laughed every day we were together.

  Larry and I had so many things in common: we both loved science with a passion, electronics was a form of religion for us, and with the march of technology we were always presented with new challenges, not to mention our love of inventions. Larry also had a drive for millions like me, but his method was to get them by cracking the ‘perpetual motion dilemma’. This was a life long dream of his and I’m sure he is still thinking of cracking it today. Perpetual motion was the search for some method of self-generating and perpetuating a movement of any kind, but this movement would have to be self-sustaining and continue for ever. There are very good scientific reasons why this is impossible; for example the laws of friction, or the law of the conservation of energy. These laws never deterred Larry. He and I came to believe that together we would crack it eventually, and we came up with many schemes to test the theory. All failed in one way or another. If they had ever succeeded, I would most likely be writing a book about how to suntan safely in Spain.

  My days with Larry were the happiest ones ever. We learned to face every kind of technology with a love of the challenge rather than a fear of it, as some do today. We saw the advent of the transistor, the large chip, and in latter years the microchip. Larry was constantly on at me, as was my Nan, to do my exams or ‘get my papers’, as they called them. I had no interest at all as I was so happy fixing and learning new things, so why bother I asked them often, but always I was hassled by both of them. I decided in the end to give in and do the bloody exams. I had no money and no transport to go to Cork to study, so I decided to do a correspondence course as the study part, and then sit the exams as an external student in Cork.