Waking Amy (Amy #1)

by Julieann Dove

  “Amy, I don't know how we can get past this. I never meant to hurt you.” He was walking briskly to keep up to my fast pace.

  “It's good that it happened, Mark.” I stopped making the mad dash and looked him in the eyes, trying not to get swallowed by all the good memories we shared…before the act of treason. “I mean, this way, I can learn what it's like to live on my own. I can't go from one security blanket to the next. I have to know I'm somewhere in here. I've never had an identity outside of a man.”

  “I never wanted to be your identity, Amy.” His hand swept through his hair, and his eyes were doing their best to lure me in.

  “I know, but I need to be alone.” Obviously, I needed more than that broken record. Perhaps a lie would help in this hopeless situation. “Anyway, I'm casually seeing someone. Nothing too serious right now, of course.” Hello, up there? Could you please think longer before speaking?

  “So am I.” He was almost as fast on the draw. I searched his eyes to find honesty. Instead, his poker face stared me down.

  “You? Seeing someone on a regular basis?” Did the ten-million folds in my forehead and hand on my hip indicate I doubted his truth? We were liars in crime together, not all that long ago. “Well, I'm happy for you. Anyone I know?” Really? Do you travel in his circles?

  “No, I don't think so. She’s a doctor in radiology. We dated in the past. It's a good thing.”

  Radiology? He was getting specific with this tall tale. If it was a tall tale. I was beginning to doubt he was lying. There was certainly no doubt he could get anyone he wanted. “I see. Well, my dinner is getting cold. I've got to go, but take care of yourself.”

  “You too.” He walked off to his car. I tried not to stare. More importantly, I tried to withhold the puppy-dog expression just in case he looked back.

  I cried all the way home. I knew what I said was true. I couldn't continue being a half to someone. Finding myself and what truly made me happy would be my top priority. And anyway, he lied to me. Just like Wesley. He lied and I couldn’t trust him. Even if I still wanted him. History has a habit of repeating itself. Fool me once. Okay, in this instance…twice.

  Chapter Eighteen

  “You know this is so silly. You could come over to my place. They won't have your cable fixed until next week. You're going to miss Sleepy Hollow. Someone is sure to lose their head tonight.”

  I laughed. “Tom, you've got to stop watching all these series and go out once in a while. If you want someone to be joining you one day on that sofa, you have to go out and find them.”

  “I thought I did.” He flashed me a baby smile.

  “I'm not your perfect fit. We've been over it before. I even gave you the quiz from my Cosmopolitan magazine. We need someone opposite of who we are. Otherwise, we end up staying in, eating on the couch, watching television, and going to bed. The same routine every night. You need someone to light your fire. To make it difficult to stay home and watch TV.”

  “I know, I know, I know. But, you're so damn cute, Amy Whitfield.”

  He put on his shoes and stood at my door. Every Wednesday was the same. He brought the meal and I supplied the movie. That night was ribs and coleslaw with Bridget Jones' Diary. Tom hadn't seen either one of them. Next week would be the second part. I hoped I wouldn't break down and cry when she finally got her Mr. Darcy. “Don't forget to wear your raincoat tomorrow. It's calling for rain.”

  I patted the top of his head and kissed his cheek. We had something very special. A connection of routine and comfort. Two tired shoes, loving the simplicity of the other one. “Don't you forget the charity benefit on Saturday.”

  I groaned. “Let's not and say we did, Tom. I’ve got so much work to do from the office. Taking off to move has set me back at work.”

  Tom had been such a lifesaver with my big move. I had finished hanging the curtains last weekend, and he helped me hang some shelves in my bedroom closet. My little apartment was coming right along. At first it was lonely and I had Tom reminding me every chance he could that I could pay to live at his place if it'd make me feel better. But I was beginning to settle in there. Sonja suggested I get a dog to keep me company, if I refused to date her cousin Mario. I had it on the calendar to go to the SPCA in two weeks. Mario wasn't an option.

  “I hate going to these charity events as much as you. But I need to go to this one, and I need a date. You're it, and I'll pick you up at four o'clock.”

  He was right on time. I wore my green dress. One that Tom hadn't seen. He wore his gray suit with the pink shirt I loved. I wasn't so sure he hadn't been heavily hit on in my absence of the last party, but he'd never tell me. Who could resist those bedroom eyes and infectious smile? Speaking of smiling, my cheeks ached from smiling at those people I didn't know that evening. And I could swear I saw a tall blonde eyeing Tom the whole evening. When we got in the car, I told him.

  “She was the one in the blue dress with the matching blue sweater. She looked a little bit on the Stepford Wives side, but she was striking, nonetheless.”

  “Oh, that's Laura Motts. What? You thought she was checking me out?” He scrunched up his nose.

  “Yes. A girl knows. You should ask her to lunch. She could be the one.”

  “The one what? The one I go to lunch with and find out she was actually staring at the guy behind me?”

  “Don't you believe in star-crossed lovers?”

  “Amy, you watch too many Hallmark movies.”

  It was getting late and I suddenly regretted the emptiness of my apartment. Miles of highway was bringing me closer to the quietness of being alone, again. Maybe I should've gone that morning for a dog. Tom braked for the car in front of us. It was pulling into the country club where Mark and I crashed our first wedding, and where I met Tom.

  “Hey, look. I met you there.” I pointed. “And it looks like another wedding. Pull over. Let's go.”

  “Are you crazy? I'm not going to crash a wedding.”

  “Pull over. I'm going to show you how to live on the edge. It's so much fun. And, I'm hungry for wedding cake.” I slapped the dashboard of his car like I meant business.

  Tom did as I requested, mumbling the whole time. “People know me here, Amy. I have a reputation.”

  “Blah, blah, blah. That's your problem. You need to loosen up. Now, let's go dancing.”

  He walked behind me, slightly slouching. As if that’d make him go undetected. We entered through the back, same as the night I went with Mark. “I've got to go to the bathroom. Just don't look so guilty and get me a cape cod at the bar. I'll be right back.”

  I walked through the unsuspecting wedding party and went inside. I was a pro at wedding crashing, albeit this was only my second. My foot slipped on the wet floor and I successfully caught myself. I looked to see if anyone had seen. My eyes stopped when they saw Mark.

  Standing there in a tuxedo, his eyes did not waiver. Was I seeing a mirage? A memory haunting me from the past? Where we shared our first real date alone? I moved closer. He didn't disappear. A young girl wearing an apricot dress, with flowers in her hair, grabbed him by the arm.

  “You better get out there. They're ready to take pictures.”

  “I'll be right there.” His face was clean-shaven and he looked more settled in the eyes.

  He walked toward me. “What are you doing here?”

  He was so handsome. Like the most perfect cake-topper. Did that mean…? Was this his wedding? Was fate bringing me here only for a good ground-roll in hysterical laughter?

  “I saw the crowd…I was at an event up the road and just stopped in. I didn't plan it. Is this…” My heart refused to finish the question. If I didn't ask, he wouldn't answer, and I could go home believing anything I wanted. Especially how stupid I was for not telling him the truth in the first place.

  “Mark.” The voice was not friendly, coming from the other side of the door, using a do-or-die command.

  “I have to go. Are you going to be staying?”

  Th
e card had been played. Thinking I could keep Mark Reilly tucked away until I was ready was foolish. He was prime meat. Any girl could have him. Why did I wait before telling him it was me who wanted him the most? It’s not as if he was the one who cheated on me. He found the cheater. The sordid details of how we ended was beginning to sound melodramatic. I had messed this whole thing up.

  “I don't think so. You know, there’re so many weddings tonight. I've got to keep a schedule if I plan to crash them all.” I swallowed hard and hoped he didn’t see. Was my breathing normal? Was it too fast? Too slow? Was I losing consciousness?

  “So you're doing this professionally now?”

  “Yep.”

  A photographer wearing a vest of camera lenses poked open the door. “We need you on the front lawn. The flower girl is getting antsy, and I'm afraid if I don't get the picture now, she's going to be wearing the dress over her head.”

  “Hey, you've got to go. I'll see you around.” I turned and made my way to the back door and bolted through it. Tom was nowhere with my much needed drink. Finally, he found me.

  “Where were you? We've got to go.” I began pulling his arm.

  “I was inside. Amy, I was watching you and that guy. Your chauffeur.”

  “Okay, Tom, he's not my chauffeur. He's…”

  “He's your star-crossed lover.”

  I stopped pulling him. He had my attention. “He's not my star-crossed lover. He's a guy who I thought might have been the one. Turns out he wasn't. Now can we go?”

  “Not until you tell me the truth. Amy, this is your guy. For God's sake, I saw the way you looked at him. You even crashed weddings with him. He's going to take you out of your comfort zone. You know, the one we share every Wednesday and Sunday together? Not that I don't love it and look forward to it. But I get what you said to me earlier. We need someone who's going to keep us living. Keep us out of the television series and into the live action. Chauffeur is that to you. I want you to be happy. Now go tell him.”

  “You see, the problem with that is this is his wedding. It's too late.”

  Tom didn’t miss a beat. He just said, “Then go out with a bang. Crash this party, Amy, like no party crasher before you. Tell the groom how you feel. I saw it all over your face back there. You only get one chance with your perfect match.”

  I bit down hard on my lip. My legs had adopted restless leg syndrome. I kissed Tom's cheek and ran back inside to go out front. I flung the door open and everyone turned their head to the loud bang of the door as it hit against the stone wall.

  “I love you, Mark Reilly. I know it's too late. I know I wasn't supposed to be here, but I am. And that has to be worth something. Maybe I just need to know that I did say something. I let you know. I uncovered all the cards, took the chance, and…it doesn't change the fact that you're married now.” The air was exiting my overblown balloon as the realization began to sink in that it was too late. Now how was I going to walk away from this disaster? What happened next in all those movies?

  Other than the obvious answer, why was everyone staring at me? With the wrong type of expression? Not with open-mouth scandalous expressions, but rather small-eyed looks of annoyance.

  Mark broke from the wedding party and ran over to me. “Amy, what are you talking about? I'm not married. Mom got married.”

  I squinted from all the umbrella lights shining on the wedding party. Ms. Reilly waved at me from the center of the crowd. “Hi, Amy. I'm glad you could make it.”

  I closed my eyes, hoping I'd magically shrink in those seconds. Feeling confident I was still life-size, I opened one eye. He was still there.

  “Did you say you loved me?”

  “I'm pretty sure I did say that.”

  Without getting confirmation on the other things I spouted, Mark took me into his arms and kissed me. It felt so wonderful to finally fit. The perfectly sized glove…the perfectly sized shoe.

  I pulled away for a second. “I just want to go on record as saying that this is not me. I don't crash weddings. I blame this on your influence.”

  “Amy, the night I met you, you were wearing three-inch heels, thigh highs, and a trench coat. I'm beginning to think you're the naughty twin sister.”

  I threw my head back and laughed. My mother always told me that when you dressed up trashy, you never knew what to expect. Boy, was she right.

  Acknowledgments

  I believe that everyone has a purpose in life. They are given talents and abilities to fulfill that purpose. I thank God for the ability to write stories for people to enjoy.

  Thank you Corey for always believing in me no matter what, and never complaining when I can’t make dinner because I’m having a breakthrough with my plot. You are truly irreplaceable!

  Thank you to each of my children; Harrison, Jackson, Tula, Luke, and Maxwell. Each of you are my special rays of sunshine, and I hope through this entire process of my writing and getting rejected, you’ve learned one thing; never give up!

  Thank you Amanda for reading the first 50 pages of all my manuscripts and being more than brutally honest about each of them. I appreciate your vote of confidence that I could really do this!

  Thank you to every person in my family who has shaped me into the girl I am. I have a large family, so I’m going to have to write a lot of books in order to mention them individually.

  Finally, I am thankful for all the potholes I hit in order to get this far. Every setback, delay, and failure. It made me stronger!

  Most importantly, I thank the reader who took the time to jump into the pages of this book and follow the journey of Amy. It’s not over! Book two is soon to follow. Without the reader, there would be no need for a writer. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.