Fighting the Undertow

by Eden Rivers

  “All of us have stories to tell. It’s not like anything you could share would be a shock.” Abby shifted to rest her bare toes against Tyler’s knee. “My stepdad was mean as hell when he’d been drinking. When I was twelve, he gave me a black eye, and Mom finally wised up and divorced him.”

  Val wanted to respond, but she felt oddly frozen, as if she could hold very still and somehow become invisible. Reciprocal sharing had never been a strong point with her, and she knew they’d expect her to join in at the end.

  “And then there’s me.” Jeremy grinned. “Only child. Mom’s a cardiologist. Dad’s a lawyer. And they both spoiled me rotten.”

  Nathan swatted Jeremy with the dish towel, but Val thought she caught a glimmer of something protective in his manner. “Jer and I are a study in contrasts. I took care of my four younger sisters while Mom worked two jobs. Made good grades and got into college on a scholarship.”

  Trusting her instincts, Val turned back to Jeremy. “What’s the part you left out?”

  “Ah, the friendly shrink chases down her quarry. Okay. I was engaged a couple years before I met Nathan.” With a shake of his head, Jeremy dismissed her assumptions. “Story has nothing to do with me being bi. Kate was cool with that. We went rock climbing one day, and she insisted on trying a steep climb without ropes.”

  Val felt the color drain from her face.

  “She’s fine now. Married with a couple kids. But she took a bad fall, ended up in a coma ‑‑ months of physical therapy afterward. That her parents blamed me wasn’t a surprise. That she did…” Jeremy shook his head and lapsed into silence.

  “I think Val’s got a handle on the two of you.” Tyler summoned a hint of a smile as Nathan pinned Jeremy against the refrigerator with a bear hug. “And she’s heard plenty about Ian.”

  Not true. I don’t have him half figured out yet. She wondered if anyone could sort out Ian’s feelings about his family ‑‑ especially Kevin ‑‑ and if perhaps it would be best if she left the subject alone.

  “Which leaves me. You already know how terrific my mom and dad are.” Tyler hesitated before continuing. “My shadows are old. My younger sister, Keisha, drowned when she was two. I was only four, but I saw it happen.”

  Startled out of her lethargy, Val leaned forward and rested her hands on Tyler’s knees. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”

  The morning she’d had breakfast with Tyler’s parents, she’d seen photos of a chubby toddler with brightly beaded braids, but she’d assumed the girl was a relative. The thought of the Scotts losing their baby girl raised goose bumps on the back of her neck.

  “It was a long time ago. But since we all know each other’s history, it seemed only fair to bring you up-to-date.” For a moment, Val thought Tyler was going to lean forward and kiss her, but he squeezed her hand and returned to the task of shucking clams.

  Overwhelmed, she laid her head against Abby’s shoulder. She smelled like lilacs, and the layers of dark hair framing her face reminded Val of gypsies. These details buoyed her up as she tried to cope with the startling intimacy of the stories they’d shared. Bottom line, the closer they pulled her into the group, the harder it would be to lose them at the end of the summer.

  “What about you, Miss Vee?” Ian brushed his fingers along her arm. “What’s your story?”

  “Not much to tell. I’m an only child, and I grew up in a ranch house in the suburbs. Dad taught at the high school, and Mom was a nutritionist. They live in a retirement community in Florida, and I fly down there for Christmas every year.”

  “You still haven’t explained that half-starved, desperate-to-belong thing you have going.” Jeremy’s brown eyes seemed to bore clear through her. “I saw you at the Scotts’. You were delighted with Julie Ellen’s attention. And with us, you like the idea of having a surrogate family, almost as much as falling in love with Ian.”

  Lifting her chin, she ignored Ian’s murmured reassurance and turned to Jeremy. “Fine, since you’re so perceptive… My parents were older when they had me, and I was a disruption.” She pulled back when Ian stroked the underside of her wrist.

  “They were overprotective, as if they’d read a parenting manual and figured if they followed it to the letter, they were doing their jobs. But…” She doubted she could deliver this line with the desired amount of “I don’t give a damn” nonchalance. “They doled out their love in little packages. I was allowed some when I pleased them, denied it when I didn’t.”

  When Ian scooped her into his arms and shifted her onto his lap, she struggled to get free.

  “Settle down and let me hold you. You might not need it, but I do. The way your folks treated you ‑‑ I know exactly what you mean.”

  That hadn’t occurred to her. His parents had more money and bigger problems, but like hers, they were stingy with their love. As Ian stroked the soft spot behind her ear, a knot formed in her throat.

  “You drive me crazy, Miss Vee. When you’re ferreting out information, coaxing me to talk about Kevin, when I’m tempted to wring your neck if you ask one more question…” He leaned down to press his cheek against hers. “And that’s when I love you best. I will never withhold my love from you ‑‑ no matter what you say, no matter what you do.”

  Air rushed out of her lungs, leaving her dizzy and disoriented. She tried to focus on details ‑‑ Abby’s hand on her shoulder, the warmth of Ian’s chest against her back, the hush in the room as the others waited to see what she’d say ‑‑ but Ian’s words kept rushing through her head.

  That’s when I love you best.

  Ian understood you couldn’t put terms on love, or it soured. He’d have offered the same unconditional devotion to Lisa, and she’d rejected him once sex with his friends was no longer part of the deal.

  “Val?”

  “When you puked by the side of the road after your parents’ party ‑‑ that’s when I started loving you.”

  Ian lowered his head, and his words came out as a whisper. “At my worst.”

  Swallowing hard, she nodded. Like him, she’d never parcel out her love. But giving it a name ‑‑ saying it out loud ‑‑ terrified her. What if she found a job across the country and had to leave?

  Oh, God, what a mess.

  * * * * *

  The night breeze blowing past the curtains held too much humidity to bring any relief from the heat. The sound of the waves should have been soothing, but the sexual undertones in the rhythmic crashing made Ian restless. He was half-tempted to close the windows and run the air conditioner, but the others seemed to be enjoying the night sounds. Abby, especially, loved ambiance, and he had to admit the light from the half dozen candles she’d scattered around the room made everyone look sexy enough to eat.

  Val closed the empty pizza box on the coffee table and patted the floor beside her. Her hair curled tighter with the humidity, fanning out around her face in an auburn halo.

  Sliding down beside her, Ian lay back on the braided rug, but he couldn’t find a comfortable position. “Almost seems silly, cooking all day for the picnic tomorrow, and then we end up eating pizza.”

  Her scent, warm honey with a hint of ocean salt, kept his senses buzzing with tantalizing uncertainty. Hell, the erotic undertones in the room had been enough to keep him half-erect all through dinner.

  When he reached up to touch the bare skin between her shorts and her black halter top, she flinched, and then shivered as he traced the outline of her spine. Though Val seemed determined to be part of the night’s events, lines of tension coiled through the muscles in her back. She looked startled when Abby declared it too hot to breathe and stripped down to her silky camisole and boxer-style panties. Tyler let out a low hum of appreciation.

  Impatient to find out what came next, Ian rose to clear away the pizza boxes. Nathan handed him a box someone had kicked under the coffee table, and as Ian watched the shadowy candlelight play across his friend’s bare chest, he wondered how long it would be before Jeremy pounced. With four gu
ys wearing nothing but damp swim trunks, and two scantily dressed women, the room shimmered with erotic energy.

  “Bring in another bottle of wine while you’re up?” Jeremy lay stretched out along the length of the couch with his legs draped over Nathan’s lap, his fingers curled under the waistband of Nathan’s trunks.

  “Sure.” As he carried the boxes into the kitchen, someone put a jazz CD on the stereo. If the heat, the sound of the waves, and the cluster of half-dressed bodies in the den weren’t sexy enough, the throaty saxophone pushed things over the edge.

  Even the chill of water droplets against his fingers as he slid a bottle of wine into the sweating ice bucket carried a sensual charge. As he wandered back to the den, Ian’s breath caught in his throat. Tyler had shifted from the armchair to the floor, and Val lay with her head resting on his thigh. Her eyes drooped shut as Tyler massaged her temples.

  Ian stood frozen in the doorway, afraid he’d break the spell if he moved. They were beautiful together. Val’s frizzy auburn curls spread out across Tyler’s lap, brushing up against his green swim trunks. The silhouette of her face was framed by Tyler’s strong hands. As she relaxed, her head tilted sideways so that her cheek, flushed from the heat and maybe a bit too much wine, rested against Tyler’s thigh.

  “Ian? Were you going to bring the wine into the room?”

  Annoyed, Ian crossed the den and refilled Jeremy’s glass. As Val sat up and rested her chin on her knees, he tried to figure out how he felt about this whole evening. But rational analysis seemed impossible. Chaotic images raced through his thoughts, most of them involving a lot of naked skin.

  Paralyzed by indecision, he stood holding the wine bottle until Jeremy took it out of his hands and eased it into the ice bucket. Hell, he couldn’t even decide where to sit. Opting for the safest course of action, he settled for an isolated area near the edge of the rug. He’d wait and see who came to him.

  When no one joined him, he wondered if he should move closer to the center of the room. He suspected his friends were hesitant to spook Val. In past years, there’d been naked bodies scattered around the room by this time of night. As if on cue, Jeremy set his glass down on the coffee table and leaned forward to untie the drawstring of Nathan’s swim trunks.

  Abby relocated to sit beside Tyler and Val on the carpet and leaned over to whisper something in Val’s ear. He couldn’t catch what she said, but Val smiled and nodded. When Val held out her hand, Ian scooted over beside her, grateful for the invitation. Just as he started to think that the three couples might end up with their usual partners, at least for round one, Tyler tugged Val onto his lap.

  “Ian?” Val’s whisper stroked across his senses like a caress.

  “It’s okay.” He offered a reassuring smile, but his stomach churned, and his mouth felt dry.

  Bottom line, he wanted opposite outcomes with equal fervor. He ached to see Val love his friends ‑‑ their friends ‑‑ while he watched. His craving for the giddy intensity of the love they all shared, arms twining around him from all directions as he called out their names, rocked him back on his heels. But with equal intensity, he wanted to drag Val out the door and build a ten-foot wall around her, keeping her for himself.

  Get a grip, Winters. You’re the one who convinced her to be here tonight.

  As Tyler massaged Val’s shoulders, her eyes fluttered shut, and she sighed. Ian wondered how she’d react when she opened them again and noticed Jeremy and Nathan having sex on the sofa.

  No doubt about his own reaction. He shifted to ease the pressure of his snug swim trunks against his swelling cock, captivated by the sight of Nathan arching his back to grant Jeremy easier entry. Jeremy tangled his fingers in Nathan’s sandy brown hair, holding his head still as he kissed him, and when Nathan moaned against Jer’s mouth, Ian’s cock all but strangled itself inside his trunks.

  Oh, holy hell. This was torture. He didn’t dare make a move toward Abby until he knew for certain whether Val would accept Tyler’s advances, and he couldn’t even guess how Val would react if he stripped off his swim trunks to let his engorged cock spring free.

  And of course, there was the matter of whether he wanted her to let things go any further with Tyler. As Tyler’s fingers slid under the edge of her halter top, he figured he’d know soon enough. He looked forward to the third of July like some people look forward to Christmas. But throwing Val into the equation confused the hell out of him. His feelings for her were too new, too complex.

  “You’re thinking too much.” Abby shifted closer and nipped his shoulder. “Relax. I bet everything’s going to sort itself out in the next fifteen minutes.”

  So Abby was also waiting to see how Val would handle this. The activity on the sofa couldn’t escape her notice much longer. Pretty soon, she’d have to decide if she felt comfortable here, or if she’d rather take him up on his offer to head back to her apartment. In the meantime, he’d grit his teeth and squirm.

  Tyler shifted Val to face him, her forehead resting on his shoulder and her legs draped over his thighs. She seemed at ease as he rubbed his hands along her back in long, steady strokes, her body so relaxed, she seemed hypnotized by the soothing motions. But when Tyler lifted her chin and kissed her, she startled and pulled back.

  “I’m sorry.” Stifling a burst of laughter, she shook her head. When her curls brushed his cheeks, Tyler added his own deep chuckle.

  “It’s like I’ve landed in a foreign country. And in this country, it’s okay for people to kiss other people’s partners. Even have sex with them.” Her cheeks flushed pink under her tan.

  Easing her off his lap, Tyler nodded. “But the thing is, you’re from somewhere else, and things are feeling pretty foreign to you about now.”

  “And although this country’s a great place to be…” Midsentence, Val noticed Nathan and Jeremy’s wild dance on the sofa and watched, entranced, as Jeremy buried himself in Nathan’s ass, withdrew, and drove in again.

  “Okay, that’s maybe the hottest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.” She fanned her hand in front of her face. “Anyway, although it’s a great place to be, I think I need more time to get used to the culture here.”

  “Gotcha.” Tyler kissed her cheek and twined a strand of reddish brown hair around his finger before releasing it. “Anytime you’re feeling a bit more acclimated, you’ve got a standing invitation.”

  “Thanks for making this easy for me. I thought I could do this, but…”

  “No problem.” Tyler rose to help Val to her feet, and Ian walked over and rested a hand on his shoulder, grateful for his friend’s good-natured understanding.

  As reluctant as he was to leave, he knew what they needed to do. Trying to ignore his swollen cock, he reached for Val’s hand. “Want to head back to your place, or find a hotel?”

  “My place. But” ‑‑ adopting what Ian thought of as her “I won’t take no for an answer” expression, she rested a hand against his chest ‑‑ “after you drop me off, I want you to come back here.”

  “Not a chance. I’m spending the night with you.”

  “Then I’ll stay. I won’t pull you away from here tonight. You need these people like you need the ocean.” Val glanced in the direction of the couch and smiled. “Besides, if you head back here after dropping me off, there’s something in it for me.”

  His interest piqued, Ian raised an eyebrow. “I’m listening.”

  “I may not be from around here, but” ‑‑ she nodded toward where Jeremy and Nathan writhed, entwined in each other’s arms, their sun-bronzed skin outlined by the black leather of the sofa ‑‑ “I happen to be fascinated by the culture.”

  “And?” With the scent of sex in the air, and the emotional tug-of-war between Val and his friends, he had trouble following her reasoning.

  “Sometime, I’ll expect you to share an account of the goings-on ‑‑ including any, ah, personal involvement in the native rituals.”

  Oh, hell, now he got it. “You’re sure this is what
you want?” He followed her toward the door. The thought of describing an encounter with Abby or Jeremy, or maybe Abby and Jeremy, as he made love to Val had a certain appeal.

  “Mmm.” She paused to glance around as they stepped out into the night, then looked at him. “I won’t stand between you and your friends, Ian. Or rather, between you and our friends. I know what their love means to you ‑‑ what it’s starting to mean to me.”

  Her hand pressed warm against the small of his back, and he was tempted to ignore her wishes and seduce her in the dunes.

  “I think I can make it worth your while, Mr. Winters. In fact, if you were to share tales of your adventures, you could name your price for the stories.”

  As she trailed her fingertip along his straining cock, he knew how this night would end. “You have a deal, Miss Vee.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Pleased, Val pulled the tray of perfect brownies out of the oven. Ian had been teasing her about her ability to burn water, and she wanted to prove she could prepare at least one thing successfully. Besides, after a disappointing phone interview with a Rhode Island group home that offered horrible hours and worse benefits, despite the fact that she would have been in commuting distance of Ian, she’d developed an irresistible craving for chocolate.

  She grinned when the door slammed and tried not to analyze the fact that Ian spending the day in Boston was enough to make her miss him. “You’re back early.” When Jeremy rounded the corner, she tried to mask her disappointment.

  “Just me, I’m afraid.” Darkly sexy in his tight black jeans and white cotton shirt, Jeremy raised a suspicious eyebrow at the brownies. “Uh-oh. Are they edible?”

  “Hey, brownies happen to be my specialty.” She grinned, irrationally cheered by his teasing. “Okay, they’re the only thing I can cook, and I use a mix, but they’re good.”

  Jeremy grabbed a knife and carved out a hunk of chocolate from the center of the pan. “So, I stole a dance with your boyfriend the other night. Ian mention it?”