“We knew Adia moved on to Kai,” Justine reminded me.
“Yeah, but Seth could’ve moved on to someone else too,” I said as I typed.
Katie: Well, that’s good to know…
Seth: Not so great, actually. I broke up with this girl, and then hooked up with someone else, and then she ended that, and now it’s like major dry spell.
Justine made a face like she was sickened. “Ew, the way he said that, or typed it, made it sound gross and unappealing. Like girls were conquests and nothing really meant anything to him.”
It was true, but he was talking about me! I had to dig further.
Katie: Sorry to hear that. Why’d you break up with the first girl?
“We are getting the insider info you’ve wanted!” Justine yelled. “We are crushing this!”
“I’m freaking out.” I stared at the phone, waiting for his response.
Seth: This other girl wanted to hook up with me, and I dunno, I wanted to hook up with her, too. We were at this party, and she was, like, all over me and…ya know…
I started breathing heavy angry breaths. I clenched my teeth together. I wanted to shoot daggers out of my eyes through the phone. Directly at Seth.
Katie: So basically you’re like every other guy on the planet?
Seth: Huh? What’s that supposed to mean?
“I’m tempted to come clean,” I said. “Tell him it’s us. I’m so mad at him right now.”
“I’m glad you’re mad, but we can’t come clean yet,” Justine said, tapping my knee. “It wouldn’t have the same effect. We need to ruin him. We’re almost there.”
Katie: Haha, nothing. I’m just kidding. Listen, I gotta run. Look at my picture in the meantime. I’m worth waiting for, I promise.
“This is bad,” I said. “I mean, he’s bad, he’s terrible, he’s fingernail dirt. But we’re, like, not so great….”
Justine reached over for a sip of my smoothie. “We’re not so great. I know. We’re doing a kind of bad thing to a very bad person. It’s not even in the same bad category.”
“So?” I asked.
“So, we’re doing it for a reason.” She nodded, all reassuring. “And we’ll never do it again.”
JUSTINE
“What are you doing here?” I asked Emmett.
No one ever showed up at my house unannounced, so my heart was racing when I heard the doorbell and saw him standing there. My first thought was that it was bad news—I’d done something wrong with the money, or someone had seen the footage of us in the safe-deposit box room and he was fired and never coming back.
“I wanted to surprise you,” he said. “Remember the other day when I asked where you live because I was trying to get a sense of the town?”
I left the door open and went outside to stand with him on the front steps. I looked back to make sure my parents weren’t listening. “So…you’re stalking me?” I tapped my fingers against my lips.
“Well,” he said. “I don’t know if I’d call it stalking…I just wanted to see you again.”
I smiled. So it wasn’t bad news; it was good news, actually. I breathed in, trying to get my heart to calm down.
“Justine,” my mom called to me. “Who’s here? Close the door. You’re letting out all the AC!”
“Sorry, Mom. Just a friend. We’re going for a quick walk around the block. Be back soon.” I ran my words together as quickly as possible.
“What? Who? Justine, come here and talk to me.” I closed the door. Hopefully she’d be asleep by the time I got back.
“Your mom sounded a little freaked,” Emmett said as we walked.
“She’s always freaked,” I said. “Don’t worry about it.”
“My mom gets like that too,” he admitted.
“Really?”
“Yeah, my parents got divorced a few years ago, and it’s, like, she hasn’t totally figured life out yet,” he said, and was quiet for a minute. “I don’t know why I’m telling you all this.”
“It’s okay, I feel like my parents are always on the verge of divorce,” I replied. “I never tell anyone that, so consider yourself lucky.”
“Considered lucky.” He saluted.
We walked for a little while longer and then sat down on a bench at the edge of our neighborhood park. The playground was empty at this time of night, and the swings moved back and forth in the breeze. The air had that sticky summer thickness; it smelled like grass right after a rainstorm.
My phone twinkled, and I saw the little Messenger bubble pop up.
Seth: Yo. Hope I didn’t scare you off earlier
My heart thudded. I had my own life to focus on, but I had to handle Katie’s life, too. I quickly shoved the phone into my bag.
“Your boyfriend texting you?” Emmett asked me.
“Boyfriend? What?” I scratched my cheek. “No, no. It was nothing.”
“I just want you to know, I don’t kiss every girl who comes into the bank,” Emmett said. “That would be gross.”
“Yeah…” I played with the frayed ends of my jean shorts. “There are a lot of really old ladies in this town. And Olga.”
I loved how Olga the teller had become our private joke. She was actually a really nice lady who knew everything about banking and could probably be the CEO of a major corporation if she wanted to.
He laughed and leaned back. He put his arm around my shoulder. “Did you come here all the time as a kid?”
I nodded. “Yeah, all the time, like every day.”
“For real?” he asked. “I honestly never know when you’re serious.”
“I’m being serious,” I said. “Why would I joke about that?”
“No idea.”
I draped my leg over his knees. “Are you enjoying your time in this delightful town?” I asked. “That was sarcasm, by the way.”
He laughed. “I got that. Um, it’s okay. I kind of miss Boston, but this is cool for the summer.” He paused. “And I met you, so that makes it better.”
“I know. I’m a treasure.”
“See? What kind of response is that?” He moved away from me a little bit, and my foot dropped to the ground.
“What?”
“Nothin’,” he said. “You are a treasure.”
“See!” I hit his leg. “Now I don’t know if you’re being serious!”
He moved closer to me again, and put his hand on the back of my neck, and pulled me toward him. He turned his head, and then his lips were on my lips, and his arm was on my back. We were close, wrapped up together like those pretzels you get at the airport. He smelled like fresh-scent deodorant and hair gel.
My phone twinkled in my bag again, but I ignored it.
MIA
I had no idea what Justine was doing. She wasn’t responding to texts. And Katie kept getting all these messages from Seth. I had no choice but to Katie it up by myself. I knew I could handle it.
Katie: You didn’t scare me off. I know how guys are. I’m not one of those girls who like expects every boyfriend to be all emotional and stuff. UGH. My mom is bugging me to do something. AGAIN. BRB.
Seth: Moms seem to do a lot of that, don’t they? Are you ever getting your phone back?
I waited a few minutes to make it seem like I was actually doing something, and then I responded.
Katie: I have no idea. I have to earn it. Whatever that means. I mean, they didn’t let me go on social media until I turned seventeen…so you get the idea. So what’s up with you?
Seth: Nothing. Going out in a few. What about you?
I needed to fire up this conversation.
Katie: Actually, I did something I shouldn’t have done, and I’m all messed up about it…and I want to call you, but I can’t…
Seth: What’d you do?
Katie: I rekindled with an ex-boyfriend, but, like, I’m sure it meant nothing, but I kind of want to do it again, but my friends don’t think I should, and I don’t know…
I couldn’t stop with the ellipses. It was just
so satisfying. It showed that there was more to come. And I guess there was always more to come.
It was like a sense of hope in punctuation form.
Seth: Rekindled? That’s kind of a funny way of putting it.
Katie: I guess I was trying to say we hooked up, but in a more graceful way.
Seth: No need to be graceful with me. Anyway, who cares what your friends think? Do what you want to do.
Katie: Ok. But I don’t even know what I want!
Seth: Well, that’s where I come in…
What did that even mean? That he knew Katie wanted him, or that he’d help Katie figure out what she wanted?
Seth: Too bad you don’t care about helping the people of CT like I do? Hee hee.
His hee hee annoyed me.
Katie: I do care…but…I’ll come soon. I promise!
Seth: Ok, ok. I’ll believe you. Listen, I gotta run. Don’t overthink the hooking up, rekindling thing. It happened. It’s done. That’s it. Girls always overthink everything. Later.
And then he was gone. Where was he going?
I heard my phone buzz from where it was charging across the room.
“Hey, Mia,” Dennis said after I answered. He was out of breath, like he was walking and talking.
“What’s up?”
“You okay? You sound upset or something.”
I curled onto my side, on my bed. I didn’t really feel like talking. I’d stay on the phone five minutes, tops, and then hang up.
“I’m fine,” I said. “Just tired.” That was always my default, something to say when I couldn’t think of anything else. I wondered if everyone had a default response, or if it was only me.
“I’m just gonna come right out and say this,” Dennis started, and I wanted to cut him off because I was scared of what he was going to say. But I didn’t. “I know we talk on the phone and stuff, but I want to hang out with you, outside of work. Can we schedule some time to do that?”
Schedule some time? I laughed even though I hadn’t meant to and it was probably rude.
“Why are you laughing?” he asked.
“I don’t even kn—” I couldn’t get the words out, I was laughing so hard.
“Your laugh makes me laugh!” he said, cracking up too.
“So can we?” he asked when we finally caught our breath.
“We can hang out,” I said. He was actually asking me to hang out. Another boy was asking me to hang out. Someone other than Seth. Someone funny, and interesting, and unique even though he didn’t try to be any of those things.
“Okay,” he replied. “My parents—uh, I mean my mother and Rick are going out of town next week…so…” His voice trailed off and I was pretty sure I knew what he was saying. It was pretty bold for Dennis. I wasn’t one hundred percent sure he’d ever even kissed a girl. “…you can come over. We have a hot tub.”
“Okay, sounds good,” I said. “We can hang out when they’re home, too, ya know.” I wasn’t sure why I said the last part. It made me sound kind of lame. But I didn’t want him to think he had to hide me or anything.
“Yes, um, of course.” He paused and it felt like three years went by before he said anything else. “Listen, Mia, I’m new at this. I have no idea what I’m doing when it comes to girls. I didn’t think you’d be into the losing-vice-presidential-candidates thing, but you sort of are, right? I mean, I really don’t know.”
His honesty was kind of shocking, since people are always pretending to be more experienced than they are, cooler, smarter, pretty much more anything than they are.
I guess when you broke it down—people were always pretending. Did we ever know anyone’s real self?
“Don’t worry,” I said, reassured and relieved from everything he was saying. “I just think it’s a cool, random thing you’re trying to learn, so yeah…” He was quiet then, so I added, “And you should know, I’m not, like, the most experienced girl in the world, either.”
“Okay, well, um, thanks for telling me. I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said. “ ’Night, Mia.”
“ ’Night.”
I put down the phone and I felt like one of those sappy girls who claim they can’t stop smiling.
But I actually couldn’t stop smiling.
Dennis was Dennis.
And maybe he didn’t know that he should pretend to be anything else, or maybe he just didn’t even care to try pretending.
Or maybe he didn’t want to pretend.
Maybe he was okay being himself.
MIA
“Hey,” Seth said, out of breath like he’d run three miles to get to the truck. “I’m back again for a snow cone. And a smoothie. My mom is obsessed with your smoothies.”
I tried to think of the wittiest thing possible to say back. “Well, they are amazing” was the best I could come up with.
He nodded. “So…one blueberry snow cone, and one, uh, Pumpkin Paradise, please?”
“You don’t sound so confident in your choice. Sure that’s what she wants?”
He half-smiled. “I’m sure.”
I handed him the smoothie, careful that there weren’t drips down the side of the cup. “Hope Michelle Manzell enjoys it.”
After I said it, I worried he wouldn’t remember our joke.
He shook his head. “What a name. What a name.”
I smiled.
It felt like there should have been more to add, but nothing came to me. There wasn’t a single thing in the world to say at that moment. My mind was blank. And he was silent too.
He took a big bite out of his snow cone. “So, okay, uh, see ya around.”
After I was sure he was out of earshot, I turned to Justine and asked, “Why do you think he came by?”
Justine looked at me sideways, leaning on the counter. “He was getting a smoothie for his mom. And he wanted a snow cone.”
“I know, but it’s a little weird, right?” I asked her, forcing conversation, trying to figure out why she was so quiet. “She could get them herself.”
“He’s weird, Mia,” she said, bulging her eyes at me. “I’ve been trying to tell you that. Forever. What about Seth has ever led you to believe that he’s anything but weird? And I don’t mean weird in a good way. He should be scared to see you after what he did. But he just sails through life like it’s all owed to him.”
“Yeah, well, that’s true.”
“And he’s, like, fully flirty and opening up to a person he doesn’t know, and has never met, and who never even shows up,” Justine reminded me, raising her eyebrows. “At all.”
“Right….” A tiny corner of my heart started to feel guilty again. I wanted to hurt him and humiliate him and make him feel the pain I’d felt. But maybe this was too much.
“I mean, part of this experiment is to get you to see how creepy he is,” she said. “You’re not seeing that…are you?”
“I am,” I defended myself. “I definitely am.”
“Good,” she said. “Then my plan is working.”
“Can we be arrested for this?” I asked her, sipping a smoothie. “I’m getting a bad feeling about it again.”
She shook her head. “I don’t think we can get arrested.” She folded her arms across her chest. “Plus, we’re minors so it’s, like, can we really get in trouble? Anyway, we’ll stop it before it gets dangerous.”
“D-dangerous?” I stammered.
“Don’t worry, Mi.” She put a sweaty hand on my shoulder. “Just trust me. I got this.”
I tried to trust Justine, but something inside me felt twitchy. What he had done was terrible, but maybe I didn’t need to be terrible too.
Maybe I could just live my life and be okay. The whole the best revenge is success thing.
I mean, we were successful with the smoothies. And that was great. And Dennis liked me. And I liked him. And the hot tub sounded exciting.
I was okay on my own, without Katie. Katie was simply a crutch I needed until I felt good again.
And maybe I was feeli
ng good now. I mean, my heart hadn’t melted when he walked out to his car before. And after he was gone, I hadn’t felt the need to run away to be alone. I hadn’t played the interaction over and over again in my head like a YouTube video.
There was progress happening here. Definite progress.
JUSTINE
It was early August and I still wasn’t one hundred percent confident that we’d be able to make this Seth-and-Katie meetup happen. We had to get it done with some time to spare before school started in case something really crazy and embarrassing happened.
I knew we were close, but I still worried that it would all unravel and end up as nothing. I told myself I was confident it was going to work, and I told Mia I was sure of it.
I reassured both of us that it was okay and totally acceptable that we were doing this. He had hurt Mia. She was suffering in a major way. And that meant we had to get back at Seth, make him suffer.
But the truth was—I was lying to both of us. About all of it.
I was also lying that I felt okay about keeping all the money hidden from Uncle Rick. I felt terrible about it, and we didn’t have a good plan for what to do with the money.
But it was technically our money. We’d made it fairly, and we paid for all our own supplies, from the money we’d made.
So there was really nothing wrong with it.
“Hey,” Emmett said, coming out of the bank during his break. “Have you been waiting awhile?”
“Nah,” I said.
“Wanna walk?” He put on his sunglasses.
I had chocolate graham crackers in my pocket, and I could feel them melting. Normally, I would have ignored them, afraid to eat in front of a boy. I’d let them melt all over the place, into my sweatshirt pocket, and then I’d throw away this hoodie when I admitted defeat, that it would never come clean.
But with Emmett, I felt like I could take them out, ask him if he wanted one.
He knew I wasn’t the skinniest girl in the world, but he liked me anyway. Maybe stick-skinny girls weren’t his thing. “Want a chocolate-covered graham cracker?” I asked him.
“How fancy.”
I handed it to him. “Sorry it’s a little melty.”
“Melty is okay with me,” he said. He licked his fingers when he finished it, and then grabbed my hand. That would probably seem gross to most people, but I didn’t mind.
Kale, My Ex, and Other Things to Toss in a Blender Page 12