I wanted to storm off, my hangover still hovering over me and the news about Marnie and Gabriel making me feel raw and edgy. But I stayed where I was, trying to get control of myself. There was no point having a loud argument in the food court. I had even noticed some of the Army veterans and their wives looking over, which was mortifying.
‘What were you going to tell me?’ India suddenly said, surprising me.
But I just didn’t have the energy and changed the subject to something safer.
‘What are we going to do today?’ I said, trying to pretend our snappy argument hadn’t just happened. I didn’t feel any better, to be honest, since offloading my feelings. Guilt was starting to creep in.
India looked blank. She too seemed to be trying hard to move on and pretend nothing had happened. ‘What time is it? Half past eleven? There’s fruit carving in half an hour.’
‘Fruit carving?’
‘I’ve always wanted to do that.’ I wasn’t sure if she meant it, but I let her get away with it – maybe she just wanted to get away from me.
‘Really?’
‘Oh yes, absolutely.’ She nodded enthusiastically. She was definitely putting it on. ‘The picture in the lobby shows an apple carved to look like a swan and a melon that looks like a shark. Perhaps we could go out after that?’
I began to feel as though I had been dropped into a parallel universe.
‘You go to the fruit mangling and I’ll go and have a wander around the town. I could do with a bit of exercise.’ It was the perfect time for a break. It was obvious we needed some time apart. I needed to do something on my own otherwise this tension would return, and next time I might not be able to stop myself. Even though I was angry, I realised I didn’t want to hurt my sister, not really …
‘Okay. I’ll see you later,’ she mumbled. ‘I think I need a shower. I smell like a brewery, don’t I?’
‘A bit, yes.’ At least this was something we could agree on.
*
I went back to the cabin with her to fetch my passport and passenger card so I could get off the ship and safely get on again. I felt rather deflated all of a sudden; we weren’t really talking now, and I’d thought we were getting on better than we had for years. It was as though all the booze and partying had brought our frustrations with each other to a head. Either way I was certainly tired. It would be good to have a break and be on my own for a while. I needed to think.
I went down to what passed for the ground floor of the ship, or rather the water floor. A gangplank led to the quayside and I passed through the shadows of the security scanners and out into the sunshine of Halifax. I blinked a bit and looked at the street map I’d been given. There were a couple of pink double-decker tourist buses waiting at the end of the quay as well as a glossy-looking coach. The veterans were standing next to it smoking, while their wives supervised the loading of their luggage into the vast cavern underneath it.
So the veterans definitely were going off to eat their way through Nova Scotia next. Well, that was a positive; it would mean the rest of us could get to the coffee machines without having to queue for half an hour while they filled four mugs each.
I strolled past them in the direction of a rather nice-looking group of cafés and wine bars.
I walked on along the seaway, enjoying the sunshine on my shoulders. To my left was the everyday thump of building work, to the right the sparkle of the water. What would it be like to live here? There were pretty old houses interspersed with high-rise blocks. There were cafés and bars. Ice cream parlours and seafood shacks. There was maple syrup and something called poutine.
A coach roared past me in a cloud of dust and off towards more exciting places and fast food. I sat on a handy bench, cleverly constructed from old crates, and tried to think about India and my life when I got home. But I couldn’t concentrate; all I could think about was Gabriel.
It was a long time since Ryan and I had split up and I was lonely. I wasn’t the most gorgeous creature in the world. Men didn’t fall over at the sight of me but I was okay – quite reasonable on a good day when I made a bit of an effort. Why couldn’t I find someone, and be happy? Why did I keep sabotaging relationships before they had even started? What was the matter with me? Why had Ryan shacked up with a girl who never seemed to wash her hair? Why had he shagged his mother’s Avon lady? Someone had told me she was at least fifty. Perhaps their skincare products really were that good?
And while we were on the subject, why didn’t I now, at nearly thirty, have a decent and forgiving relationship with my sister? Were we going to continue to irritate each other? Were we destined to grow further apart as the years passed? Would we ever be friends? Was it too late? I mean, what she’d just said … well, it hurt. Someone desperate enough to marry you. It was a low blow even for India on her worst day. Surely she knew how upset I was about Ryan, and well, now the whole Marnie bloody Miller/Gabriel situation. God, I needed a break from men. I really did. But that kiss …
I stood up and attempted to stride away from my thoughts, passing a girl in a very short pink kilt who was playing the bagpipes – this was, after all, Nova Scotia. I came to a cluster of craft shops; perhaps I would find something there for Mum before I spent all my money on overpriced cocktails?
I went in to look around. There were several people I recognised from the ship who had evidently had the same idea. They were snapping up keyrings and pottery bowls like they were going out of fashion. There were some incredibly expensive glasses and some rather cute felt owls. Mum was keen on owls and woodpeckers. I picked out one with a quizzical expression and bought it.
I waited while the shopkeeper gift-wrapped it because I had made the mistake of telling her it was a present for my mother. Dissatisfied with the look of it, she started again, this time adding tartan ribbon and a feather. And a tartan gift tag. By then there was quite a queue forming behind me and I had to stop her from redoing it a third time by pretending the ship would leave without me. Reluctantly she let me pay and I bolted out through the door and straight into Gabriel Frost.
‘You’re here!’ I said, shocked into idiocy.
‘Yes, I’m here,’ he said, and I felt my stomach do that flip thing again, even though I told it sternly not to.
‘I thought you might go to see Eastern Canada.’
‘I’ve seen a lot of it already,’ he said thoughtfully. ‘It’s very nice but I don’t need to go again.’
‘But I saw you. From the window.’ Oh, I am so smooth sometimes. ‘I wondered if you were leaving,’ I finished stupidly.
He looked a bit unsure of himself at that and I was curious at the change in him. He always seemed so confident when we were together … well, aside from when he was forced to dance with me, but he’d found his footing there quite quickly.
‘Well, I was. But then something happened and I changed my mind,’ he said, sounding a little hesitant.
‘Oh.’
I immediately put this down to Marnie and her impressive powers of persuasion, but on what basis did I think that? What had I been watching from the ship? The more I tried to think it through the worse things got.
I realised we were still standing in the shop doorway, effectively blocking it. Not only were there people wanting to come out with their stuffed owls and keyrings, there were people wanting to go in too.
Gabriel took hold of my elbow and steered me on to the pavement.
‘Are you busy?’ His eyes flashed at me and he smiled.
I felt my legs rock a bit. Who knew eyes had that kind of power? Who knew a smile could make me want to fall into his arms?
‘No.’
I wanted to say something clever or funny and make him laugh again, but my head was spinning a bit from the fight with my sister and all of this new information about Marnie.
‘Would you care to join me then? A glass of wine? There’s a very nice place just up two blocks.’
‘Oh, okay then.’ A glass of wine never hurt anyone, I told myself
, knowing that wasn’t the reason I was feeling hot all over again.
I followed him into the cool, welcoming interior of the Olde Cape Breton Bar. We were shown to a table with a red-checked cloth and unlit candles stuck into wax-encrusted wine bottles. Gabriel handed me a menu card, our hands brushing, and I had to stifle a whimper.
‘The crab cakes are good,’ he said, oblivious to my internal struggles. Maybe I was sex-starved, as India said. I was certainly behaving like a complete idiot.
‘Great,’ I breathed and attempted to read the options. The words swam in front of my eyes. Perhaps I needed glasses?
‘And a crisp white wine?’
‘Absolutely.’
I mean, it’s not as though I haven’t sworn every day for the last week to lay off the booze, is it?
A gum-chewing girl with purple hair came out to take our order without any fussing or annoying you’re welcome stuff and a few seconds later brought our drinks. Over the bay the open sky was clear blue, and it was warm and pretty, sheltered from the wind coming in off the sea.
‘So, how are you enjoying life on board?’ Gabriel said, holding out his wineglass for me to clink.
‘It’s amazing,’ I said, glad he was sticking to safe territory. ‘It will be hard to top this ship.’
‘She’s a beauty,’ he agreed, ‘and Halifax is a great town. My aunt used to have a house here and we visited her most summers.’
‘We?’
‘My parents, my brother and me. Morgan lives in Oxford now so he doesn’t get to this side of the pond too often.’
‘Gabriel and Morgan; your parents went in for great names, didn’t they?’
Gabriel laughed. ‘Morgan was almost called Raphael, so he thinks he got off lightly.’
‘And what does he do in Oxford?’ I asked, thrilled to be learning more about Gabriel. He’d always seemed so closed off on board the liner, but here he was being open and honest, telling me things without much prompting at all.
‘He’s a Professor of Advanced Mathematics.’
‘Crumbs.’
He laughed, his eyes lighting up. ‘Yes, I know! He’s enjoying a mathematics conference in South Africa at the moment; having a marvellous time, so he says.’
‘A marvellous time at a mathematics conference,’ I said thoughtfully. ‘How does that work? I can’t imagine there are many jokes to be had there?’
Gabriel chuckled. ‘Apparently there are but only they understand them.’
The gum-chewing girl returned with our crab cakes a few minutes later. Apparently it was a small portion; even so there were three of them nestled on a large dressed salad, accompanied by a basket of sourdough bread. It was all delicious.
We talked about the ship and the efficient crew and the food. All the time I wanted to ask him so many questions. Why did he kiss me? What did he mean when he said he wished things were different? How come one minute he was leaving the ship and the next he wasn’t? And what was going on with him and Marnie?
But I didn’t ask any of those things. I suppose I felt too shy and, for once in my life, I was trying to watch what I said.
He asked me more about my work back in England and the small estate agency came alive for me again when I was telling him about it. It sounded somehow interesting and cute, especially now I had some distance from it. I almost missed the day-to-day … almost. Put that on one side of the scales and Gabriel Frost on the other and there was no contest. He laughed at all my stories about unreasonable clients and seemed genuinely interested in everything I told him. And I was suddenly bold enough to take a selfie of us, the sea blue and sparkling behind us. But not brave enough to ask him the two questions uppermost in my head:
So why did you kiss me? Did you know it was me?
‘Would India mind if I took you out to dinner this evening?’ he asked suddenly. Was this it? Was he asking me out properly? Was this going to answer all of my questions? ‘I’d rather eat somewhere else. Just for tonight? I’m booked into the Louis Quinze restaurant but, well, I could do with a change. There’s a very good place on the top deck, near the bow. Quite small and I’d have to book if you fancied it. Thai cuisine, if you like that sort of thing? I mean it wouldn’t be inappropriate, would it?’
What an odd phrase. I felt even more confused, but I wasn’t going to say no.
‘That would be lovely. India is doing fruit carving at the moment.’ I caught his expression. ‘Yes, I know. I’ll tell her when I get back. She had a very late night; I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s gone back to bed.’
Was I blushing? I was sure I could feel myself blushing.
I’d mentioned bed.
I suddenly remembered the moment last night when I had reached out to touch the place behind my pillows, wondering if he was just the other side of the wall. I took a sip of wine to steady my nerves and cleared my throat.
‘I’d love to. I’m sure India can manage without me for one night. I mean for one evening.’
I wasn’t going to be out all night, was I?
Gabriel gave me a look and his grey eyes were twinkling with amusement.
‘Then it’s a date. I’ll see you in the atrium at seven-thirty?’
‘Fine.’
We had a date!
I could hardly speak, let alone eat. What would I wear? I had no idea. For a mad moment I thought perhaps I could buy something on board the ship, then I remembered the phrase cruise wear. Gabriel would be less than impressed if I turned up in a jaunty nautical blazer with a white canvas skirt embellished with gold buttons. I’d have to think again.
Chapter Twelve
Brandy Alexandria
Cognac, Crème de Cacao, Single Cream, Umbrella, Cherry, Sparkly Stick
Back on board the Reine de France I made my way to our cabin. On the way I ran through what I could say to defuse the tension between India and me. Perhaps I should apologise? Perhaps she would. Unlikely, but there was always a first time. I was in a state of juddering nerves by the time I opened the door, only to find her asleep in bed. She turned over and looked at me rather blearily.
‘Oh, it’s you. Is it breakfast time?’
‘We had breakfast hours ago, India.’ I sighed, thinking how little she’d changed from the girl who could drop off to sleep anywhere and everywhere but stay up all night when it suited her. ‘It’s nearly five-thirty. You’ve missed most of the day. And I have a date!’ I trilled, trying hard not to feel too elated.
India processed this information, her fingers just showing over the edge of the duvet like a mouse’s paws. She frowned.
‘Who with?’
‘Gabriel Frost.’
She jerked a bit and was sufficiently impressed to raise her head.
‘You’re kidding! Did he say anything?’
‘Well, we didn’t resort to semaphore or sign language if that’s what you mean. We had lunch today and he asked me then.’ I was glowing, I could tell. It also seemed that this information had helped us blow over our cross words from earlier and I was quite pleased. Even though nothing had been resolved, I knew I didn’t want to fight with India. Not now anyway. I had Gabriel to think about …
India stuck her lower lip out. ‘This holiday is supposed to be about me, not you shagging random men. Mum said …’
Anger shimmered through me and I had to hold on to my temper, which was already quite unpredictable following our row.
Tersely I responded, ‘I’m not shagging anyone, and weren’t you the one who told me to do exactly that? Even Mum would say you can spare me for one night, wouldn’t she?’
India sat up, looking thoughtful. ‘Well, Gabriel Frost seems okay. Really nice. Not that I would know of course. I mean, just because he’s attractive doesn’t mean anything, does it? We don’t really know him, do we?’
‘India, come on. It’s one dinner and we can have cocktails before I go. It’s not like you don’t have lots of people to talk to at our table.’ I could hear myself pleading, whining – great, so grown-up! And had I
really just asked permission from my younger sister to go to dinner with the first attractive and interesting man I’d met in ages? When she’d had her first date with Jerry she’d blown me out of the water without a second thought as I remembered.
But India wasn’t listening any more. She stretched and turned to look out of the French windows.
‘Is it really five-thirty? I’ve slept nearly all day. But I did have breakfast, didn’t I? I’m sure I did. I had some toast and, oooh yes, I went to the fruit carving. You should have come too. I tell you what, it was brilliant. There was one of the chefs there, in a tall white hat like they wear on TV. And he had a knife so sharp it could shave a gnat’s whiskers. I can now make a peacock out of a cantaloupe melon and a Father Christmas out of a strawberry. We could do that for the reception, couldn’t we? That would be so cool!’
‘No, India, because we would have to do about two hundred on the morning of the wedding. I don’t think that’s a very good idea.’ Back to the wedding already – why was I not surprised? But I didn’t say anything.
She wrinkled her nose in thought. ‘Mmm, perhaps not.’
She swung her legs out of bed and pulled on her dressing gown.
‘Marion and Caron were there too; they said they make lilies out of tomatoes all the time. I’m not sure I believe them. They were going to show me at dinner this evening. Look, if you want to spend the evening with Gabriel that’s okay. Where are you going?’
‘Some Thai place he knows about on the top deck. I have to meet him at seven-thirty.’
‘Hang on, you thought he was leaving the ship,’ she said, turning back towards me abruptly, her hair flying in all directions.
‘He changed his mind.’
India laughed, her eyes glinting. She was starting to get into the spirit of it. ‘Oooh, did you beg him to stay? I can just imagine you grovelling and pleading.’
Come Away With Me Page 13