by Hughes, Maya
“You think I can’t handle it myself.” Syd’s gruff, grumpy voice reverberated against my ear. “Just because you’re going to be leaving me at the end of the summer doesn’t mean you don’t have to suck up anymore.”
“I told you I’m not leaving. I’ll still be working.”
Pulling my phone from my ear, I checked my messages. Nothing from Dad. Even without putting the call on speaker, I could still hear Syd’s voice on the other end of the line.
Me: Dad, are you going to be here?
“How are you going to get to early classes and do all the college stuff if you’re coming in here until six in the morning?”
I shrugged even though she couldn’t see me. “I’ll make it work. It’s not like I haven’t made it work before.”
“And look where that got you. You can pick up hours here if you want, but I don’t want you missing out to help me. Sometimes I think I’m getting too old for this place. Maybe I should pack it in.”
My heart leapt into my throat. “Syd, you love the bakery. Why would you even say that?”
She let out a deep sigh. “It’s getting to be a lot, long hours…”
“I can come in more.” I slid into a seat on the aisle and placed my program on the one beside me for Mak.
“No, if anything, you need to come in less.”
My throat tightened. Bread & Butter had been my second home for a long time. “But, Syd—”
“Don’t go getting all sappy on me. I’m not kicking you out or anything. You just haven’t had a day off in ages. You finally have a little break this summer. Maybe take some time off. You need it, kiddo. Think about it.”
I had thought about it. It was the first time I wouldn’t be juggling classes and work since I was fifteen. In the fall, I imagined the classwork would be a lot more intense. Maybe a trip down to the shore or a hiking trip where I could camp out for a little bit would be nice.
“Okay, I’ll think about it.”
Mak breezed by me and grabbed her seat, but she wasn’t alone. Declan held her hand and sat, followed by the rest of the Kings party train. Crap!
“The ceremony is about to start. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Give Alyson a big hug for me and tell her a dark chocolate ganache cake is waiting for her whenever she wants it.”
“I will.”
Ending the call, I tucked my phone in my bag. I scanned the stage, trying to spot Alyson, and then I sucked in a sharp gasp. Staring like he was trying to boil me with laser vision, sitting up on stage beside his parents was the man I’d avoided for the past four years.
The pit in my stomach grew. He sat beside them, the three of them looking the part of the perfect family—a perfectly cold family. At least I had memories of Dad once having his shit together and putting the family first. Emmett’s parents were vipers in sheep’s clothing. A shuddering crawl raced across my skin.
To make matters worse, Emmett’s eyes swept over everyone in my row and my back went ramrod straight. I was sitting with all his friends. If looks could kill, I’d have been a smoldering pile of crisp, crunchy Avery kindling.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. It was a free country. I could go where I wanted. I wasn’t going to let Emmett drive me away on this special day. The orchestra—yes, they had a freaking orchestra there—began the processional music and the students filed in. For a few moments, I was able to forget about the man sitting up on stage and watch my baby sister draped with honor cords, tassels, and sashes proceed in with the rest of her class and take her seat on stage with the other honors recipients.
We sat through an excruciatingly long list of speakers; thankfully, Emmett wasn’t one of them. It was hard enough avoiding his gaze with his seat being almost directly in front of me. Glancing down at the program, I tapped Mak’s arm. “Alyson’s speech is up next.”
Mak flipped open her program. “I know she’s going to kill it. It’s so amazing she’s graduating. Are you two going out to dinner after?”
“No, her bags are already packed and at her friend’s house. They’ll be heading to the college prep program tomorrow morning together. She’s already leaving me in the dust.” I wiped away some fake tears with the back of my hand. Alyson waved to me.
“Oh, then we should definitely get dinner. I just figured you had something planned.”
The principal stood and announced Alyson’s name. The crowd clapped, and Mak stuck two fingers in her mouth to let out an ear-piercing whistle.
My sister stood at the podium with her hands resting on either side of the flat surface. I gave her a subtle thumbs-up as she took a deep breath and a smile brightened her face.
Her measured steps as she’d paced back and forth in her room had drilled the speech into my head. She’d taken twelve drafts to perfect it. There wasn’t anything she didn’t do to the best of her ability. I’d worked my ass off to make sure she got to this point, but so had she. She’d earned this.
Even though I’d promised myself I wouldn’t get emotional, I grabbed some tissues out of my bag. Her words of encouragement to her class had me dabbing at the corners of my eyes. The little girl I’d rolled around with on the lawn of her school and sat with for so many nights working on science projects and math assignments was leaving me in less than an hour. So much of who I was revolved around creating a life for her where she wasn’t scared or left wanting, but what had that left for me? I still didn’t know.
“And there is one person I know I couldn’t have done it without—my big sister, Avery. She’s been there for me every step of the way, from homework at the kitchen table to making sure I’ve got extra sunscreen for a day at the beach. There has never been a more amazing and caring sister in the world. I love you, Ave.”
My smile was so wide my cheeks ached. She’d grown up so quickly. It seemed like only yesterday that I was slipping out of her bed after she’d finally gone to sleep after watching her first scary movie. I blinked back the tears, trying to keep from becoming a blubbering mess. Without meaning to, I caught Emmett’s gaze.
He stared at me, his eyes boring into mine so deep it stole my breath away. He had an odd expression on his face that I couldn’t quite place, like a cloud passing over your picnic on a sunny day and then vanishing. My muscles refused to cooperate, and breaking the connection seemed impossible until his eyes snapped back to Alyson.
Everyone clapped and cheered as she finished the speech. I clapped so hard my hands stung, but I didn’t care. I’d have climbed up on top of my chair to cheer her on if I hadn’t thought she’d be mortified. I was sure she was embarrassed enough as it was.
The principal and other administrators got up and read out the names of the students graduating. It wasn’t a huge class, but the list was long enough for Emmett’s gaze to singe my skin from twenty feet away. Goosebumps rose on my arms.
It was the longest we’d been in the same room since the night of our breakup. It didn’t matter that there were hundreds of people there with us; when I shot a glance his way, it felt like we were the only ones in the room.
This time I wasn’t able to run away, to bolt the second I got the chance like I usually did. My palms were sweaty. Wiping them on the skirt of my dress, I wished I’d have worn jeans, something that made me feel more like myself, like I was in control. I felt exposed in the bright floral pattern with a scoop neck and heels. The stress of getting to this point, of Alyson getting the scholarship and me getting accepted into UPhil, was nearly overwhelming. Maybe that was why it felt like my heart was trying to make a break for it out of my mouth via my throat.
Maybe I needed to stop running. I hadn’t exactly been a nun since we’d broken up, but work piled on top of work and watching out for Alyson didn’t leave much time for relationships. My chance for a fresh start was within my grasp—just Avery, the no-longer-eighteen-year-old who didn’t have to worry about anyone but herself for once.
People clicked away with their cameras and phones as their graduates walked across th
e stage. I’d already bought the whole graduation picture package that came with the photographer’s shots of her. The day would be immortalized forever and hung up in my apartment once I got one.
The principal finished up the ceremony then the students all stood and threw their caps in the air. It was a sea of navy squares, each belonging to a kid who had a future filled with more curveballs than they could imagine.
“Aww, I can’t believe she’s graduating already. I can’t believe I graduated.” Mak looped her arm through mine.
“I know. It’s crazy. I’m sorry I couldn’t make it to yours. Syd needed me at the bakery, and I’m trying to rack up as many extra hours as I can.” You could never have a big enough emergency fund, but I really had wanted to be there to support her.
“Don’t worry about it. I’m sure there will be more in the future.” She bumped me with her shoulder. “It was pretty boring. Probably best you didn’t make it.”
“You’re probably right. Where’s Declan?”
We craned our necks to see Ford, Colm, Declan, and Heath in what looked like a staring contest with Emmett on the stage. They were all glancing between their phones and each other.
“Trouble in paradise?” I shrugged and gave her a smile.
She shook her head and rolled her eyes. “Who knows.”
I dropped her arm as the crowd thickened. All the friends and family filed out of the auditorium to take pictures, run off to dinners at all the best restaurants in town, and ride off into the sunset. I just hoped for a burger and my car not breaking down on the way home.
“You could have saved me a seat, Avery,” my dad groused as he caught up with me when I was almost halfway down the rows of plush navy seats.
The muscles in my neck tensed and I slowed my steps so Mak flowed out with the rest of the crowd.
“I didn’t know if you were coming. I sent you a few texts and never got a reply.” I tucked my program into my bag. “I got a program for you.” I handed it over to him.
He shoved it into his pocket. “I can’t always reply to every text you send me.” His voice was gruff and petulant at the same time.
I squeezed the bridge of my nose. I wasn’t going to let him get to me today. The relief was almost overwhelming. She’d graduated. She’d be off to college after the summer program. I wasn’t tethered to that house anymore, wasn’t chained to our dad’s impulsive whims for one more day. If I could have, I’d have been out of the house that night, but saving my money for rent once classes started meant sticking it out with him for a few more months.
If Dad’s power or water got shut off after that, I didn’t know what I’d do, but I wouldn’t have to go to bed wearing three sweatshirts and thick woolen socks when he spent our utility money.
He wasn’t using anymore, but his rash decisions still came back to bite us all in the ass. I’d made him swear to me after he got clean my senior year he wouldn’t use again.
Apparently, though, it wasn’t the drugs that made him unable to go back to being the father I vaguely remembered. Even clean, he’d managed to nearly sink us with a combination of gambling and various other bad decisions. Now that Aly had graduated, we didn’t need his address for the Rittenhouse Prep tuition waiver anymore.
It hurt. Deep in the pit of my stomach, it hurt. No more piggyback rides or squeeze hugs topped off with a kiss on the top of my head. He always used to call me Cookie. Mom and I would make the best pies and desserts after school. He’d come home with big hugs for both of us and a kiss for Alyson. Hey, Cookie, what’s baking? Dad humor at its finest.
I spotted Alyson through the crowd of people streaming up and down the aisles. She saw me and her face instantly brightened. I blinked back the tears that threatened to spill. She was so beautiful, and her future was so damn bright.
Her arms wrapped around me, and I squeezed back just as hard. All the cords and sashes from her graduation attire were smooshed between us. I released my hold on her and put my hands up to the sides of her face.
“That was an amazing speech.” I wiped at the tears I couldn’t hold back anymore.
“I’m surprised you didn’t get up to recite it with me, as many times as you’ve heard me say it.” Tears glittered in her eyes, and her smile melted my heart.
“It gets better every time.”
“How about a hug for your old man?” Dad held out his arms, and Alyson let go and wrapped her arms around him. “Are we going out to dinner?” He looked from her to me.
“I’m heading to Mikayla’s house after this and then to a graduation party.” Alyson smiled weakly at him. Lucky jerk. She got to leave without guilt.
Dread trickled down my back as Dad’s head swung in my direction. My phone buzzed.
Mak: Where are you? Want to eat?
Relief washed over me. Wait, is Emmett going to be there? I spotted her and the rest of the guys, no Emmett in sight. I’d have run straight into the jaws of a lion to get away from Dad at that point, but guilt and responsibility were a hell of a drug.
“Sure, Dad, we can go to dinner, even if Alyson can’t make it.” I glanced back, but he was already walking away. “Dad?”
So much for that.
Mak and Declan came up and gave Alyson a big hug, as did Grant, Ford’s little brother. He got some pictures with her and we talked a bit, then I held hands with Alyson as we walked to her friend’s car.
“Please, for the love of God, if you’re going to be drinking, do not get in a car with someone else who’s drinking. Call me every day when you’re on the road and when you get to the dorms. Let me know if you need anything.” I hugged her tight, standing on the curb, not really caring if I embarrassed her in front of her friends.
“Way to switch into overprotective mode there, big sis.” She grinned at me and climbed into the passenger seat. “Where’s Dad?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe they needed him to help out with something?”
“Try to have some fun this summer.” She squeezed my hand.
“You know me, a regular party animal.” I swung my hair and she rolled her eyes.
“Try again, Avery!” she called out as the car pulled away into the line of other vehicles leaving the parking lot.
I jumped as my phone buzzed again.
Mak: We’re trying to find a place that isn’t mobbed right now. You’re coming, right?
She sent me her live location updates as they bounced from restaurant to restaurant. The relief I’d felt earlier about getting out of dinner with my dad ebbed away with each step closer to the blinking pin jammed into the map on my phone. I stared at it, hoping maybe it would disappear, hoping she’d cancel or tell me they couldn’t find anything. What if I have to sit next to him for the entire meal? What if he tells them flat out he wants me to leave?
The decisions a younger me had made to protect the man who’d stolen her heart were coming back to haunt me in full force now. The emotions wrapped up with Emmett Cunning had never been simple or easy, and I didn’t know why I expected them to be any easier after four years of anger and resentment had settled in deep for him.
The blinking dot told me Mak should be within view. My pulse raced as I lifted my eyes from my phone and scanned the street.
I finally met up with her on the busy Philly sidewalk. Mak’s smiling face greeted me along with the neutral ones of the rest of the Kings standing outside a restaurant. I wanted to turn right back around and run away. Instead, I smiled weakly and kept walking. Please don’t be here. Please don’t be here…
5
Emmett
“We’re going to the Hamptons this summer. We’d like it if you came along.” My mom, honest to God, teeth-showing smiled at me. It kind of seemed like her cheeks might explode at any second from the size of her grin. How was the facial expression even possible with the amount of Botox she had?
I nearly fell out of my chair when she covered my hand with hers from across the dining room table and issued her invitation the morning before the R
ittenhouse Prep graduation.
“You what?” Tempted to jam my finger in my ear to attempt to clear it out, my eyes were wide like I’d seen the coyote finally catch the roadrunner.
Sitting in my childhood home at the dinner table, I glanced between my parents. It felt weird to see them there, like the spots left on a wall when you removed a painting. They were absent so often, I usually thought of it as my house, not our house—or even theirs. Even still, I usually stayed in my apartment in the city whenever I was back in town.
There was nothing for me in that house, and the memories embedded in the walls only made it harder. For so long, there had been nothing there, but starting the first day of sophomore year, it held so many happy memories. Afternoons spent wrapped up in the blankets with Avery, her baking in the kitchen…those were the only times it had felt like a home. The real kick in the teeth was the memory of the night I’d known would change my life, the night that was supposed to end with my ring on her finger and us making love. That sure as hell hadn’t worked out like I’d planned.
I wiped my mouth with my napkin. “Sorry, I think I misheard.”
“We’d like to have a family vacation, time for us all to get reacquainted. We’d like you to come along.” Dad drummed his knuckles upon the cherry wood table.
They’d never invited me to go anywhere. My first memories of them were of doors slamming shut in my face.
“Weren’t you two supposed to be getting divorced?”
Their eyes widened.
“Rough patches happen, dear. Your father and I are still very much in love.” My mom wrapped her hand around my dad’s hand and smiled at him.
“For how long?”
“For the summer.” My dad leaned forward in his chair. “Through your birthday in late July.”
They stared at me, waiting for a response, but I didn’t have one. Did his heart attack affect his brain? I was tempted to ask, but I bit back the urge to question if he knew my actual birthdate or just a general timeframe.
“We know we’ve been…preoccupied in the past, but we thought this would be a good chance for us all to reconnect, spend time with some old friends and with each other.”