by Hughes, Maya
“I totally forgot Robert Downey Jr. was in this.”
“And he’s a total dick.”
“He always plays at least a little bit of a dick. Can I have some?” She motioned to the bowl on my lap.
I held out the bowl to her. She grabbed a handful and shoved it into her mouth. I couldn’t hold back my smile. Her cheeks flushed. Glad the storm hadn’t affected her appetite.
I couldn’t keep myself from watching her out of the corner of my eye: her hair piled up on top of her head, the beauty mark teasing me from the inside of her right thigh, the small smile curling the edges of her lips. Her eyes were riveted to the movie.
I pushed the bowl toward her. Laughing at the scene unfolding on the screen, she glanced at me, her eyes darting toward my offering.
She plucked a few pieces out and held them in her hand, eating them one by one.
“Too bad they don’t have those movie theater packs of Kit Kats or Skittles here.”
The corners of her eyes crinkled as she smiled. “I don’t even think they sell them anymore. Now the theaters all have gourmet snacks and full meals. Usually, I settle for buying the candy from the store ahead of time and smuggling them in. I bet you still buy all your snacks at the counter.”
“It’s hard to shove nachos and cheese into your pockets without making a mess.”
She laughed. “Fair enough.” Grabbing for more popcorn, her hand grazed mine. She snatched it back and held it in her lap then yelped at a lightning strike close to the house. “I know this is the last place you wanted to be right now, but thank you for sitting here with me.” Her voice was just above a whisper, so sweet and gentle, like the mornings she’d slept over and woken me to taste something she’d whipped up in the kitchen. Those memories were so strong I’d effectively banished myself from the kitchen after we broke up. Too many emotions.
Now she was so open and vulnerable, and if I could have seen her eyes in the dim light, I’d have sworn she was on the verge of tears. They were the nicest words she’d had for me in a long time, and it was also the first time I’d really given her a reason to be civil. She jumped as a thunderclap boomed and lightning lit up the room. I ran my hands along my legs so I didn’t reach out for her.
“I love this part. It’s always so awesome when they get to stick it to a bully.” She shook her shoulders with giddiness when the two bullies’ mouths hung open as the heroes got into a sports car with a gorgeous computer created woman.
“It certainly has its appeal.” The woman on the screen had nothing on Avery.
Slowly, she relaxed as the storm settled into background noise. Her feet stretched out in front of her along the couch, close to my thigh but not close enough. It was familiar and foreign all at once. Back when we were dating, she’d nestle against my chest so I could breathe her in, absorb her warmth, and maybe cop a feel.
On the screen, the computer-generated craziness was reversed and all was well just in time for the kids’ parents’ arrival, their lessons of self-discovery and standing up for themselves wrapped up in a nice, neat bow as they rode off into the sunset.
The credits rolled and Avery turned to me, clutching her knees to her chest. I tried not to look at the gap between her thighs and the boxers that disappeared into the space I’d known so well for so long.
Why did she have to be like this? Between Alyson’s speech and the fact that everyone else seemed to have welcomed her with open arms, it was really hard to rev up the old anger. The hurt was there, that was constant—so constant sometimes I forgot there was anything else—but the anger had fled the second she’d stared up at me with her light brown eyes ringed with flecks of green and I’d seen the fear in her gaze back in the bedroom. These were questions I should have asked the night of the party. Even before that, I should have asked more about what was really going on with Aly. So many things seemed to have gone unsaid between us.
“The storm seems like it’s passed.” The bitterness in my voice at the unpleasant and unwelcome realization caught me off guard. I didn’t want this to end. I cleared my throat and glanced at the window behind her.
She turned and watched the quiet spatter of rain against the window, no longer accompanied by the harsh roar of thunder and lightning.
“Looks like it has. You can go to bed.” Her expression closed off again, hardened, like she thought I was dismissing her. “You must be tired. I’ll be good out here.”
“I can sit out here for a while. I’m still a bit wired.” My eyes were drooping, but I didn’t want to leave. “I can put on another movie.”
She nodded, her gaze tracking me as I picked out a different one for us—post-apocalyptic motorcycle madness at its best.
I sat beside her, so close yet so far away. Like an invisible pair of hands wrapped tightly around my chest, bear-hugging the shit out of me whenever I tried to get closer to her, she was driving me insane slowly. Minute by minute, hour by hour, I was losing my grip on all the promises I’d made to myself when it came to her. The frustration was getting harder to ignore. Not even using my hand in the shower had I been able to come since she arrived. I was minutes from boiling over.
It hurt to look at her, but I couldn’t avert my eyes, like staring into the sun during an eclipse—you knew you were doing damage, but how could you look away from something so rare and spectacular? Looking at her took me back to some of my best memories.
The way she’d grumbled when we went on our hikes to leave everything else behind…her standing in the stands, screaming at the top of her lungs at a bad call a ref had made during a game…opening my arms and having her jump into them at the end of eighth period… The bombardment of happiness hit me so fast, I had to swallow past the lump forming in my throat.
I’d thought those moments were only the beginning, but it turned out they were just a fleeting bright spot in an otherwise empty existence. Money and privilege bought a lot of things, but they didn’t buy someone who loved you for you without a shadow of a doubt.
She snuggled down deeper, her blanket-covered toes brushing against the side of my leg the slightest bit. The tiny fragment of connection sent a jolt through my body.
She leaned her head against the back of the couch. The threat of the storm had passed, and Avery was out in seconds, her chest rising and falling steadily. I was under her spell again, like I had been for years when she’d slept in my bed. The waves I’d wrapped around my fingers too many times to count were longer now, reaching to the middle of her back. Some had escaped her bun and curled around her face.
Was her skin just as soft as I remembered? I needed to get up and go into the bedroom. Get up, Emmett. Instead, I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. I’d wait a little longer to make sure the storm hadn’t just hit a lull. What are you doing? Why are you torturing yourself like this? Didn’t you learn enough the first time around?
13
Avery
I snuggled deeper into the softness around me. The familiar, crisp fresh laundry smell had me burrowing in farther, trying to absorb more of the comfort. I wanted to wrap it even tighter around myself and never wake up, a reverse Sleeping Beauty. I hoped my alarm didn’t go off. Do I have lunch money for Alyson? Have I overslept for my shift at the bakery? Screw it—I don’t even care.
My face was pressed against the hard plane of a chest, and smooth skin rubbed against my cheek. My head moved in time with each breath of his rising and falling chest.
“I think they doth protest too much.” The loud words startled me from my warm cocoon, and I slowly got my bearings. Other sounds sank in slowly—seagulls, no cars rumbling by…
I wasn’t home. I was at the beach house. I opened my eyes and shot up, my head whipping around to see Declan, Mak, Heath, and Kara staring back at me. His arm was around my shoulder and my face had been nestled in the crook of his neck. My arms were wrapped around his waist with my legs across his lap. I could smell his leather and mint scent since my nose was right against his skin, and the urge to throw my
leg over his and straddle his body, take him out of his pants—what the hell am I thinking? This was what happened when I’d been sex-deprived for too long.
I turned my head with wide eyes so big I might as well have been a Looney Tunes character, and I stared at my own personal snuggle pillow.
Emmett.
The night before came rushing back—the beach, grilling, Noah coming over, Emmett leaving, and the storm…the horrible way my stomach had knotted…trying not to lose it in the bathtub before he’d shown up…and then us watching movies.
We disentangled ourselves from each other and shot up off the couch. Emmett squeezed the back of his neck. At least he looked as unsettled as I felt.
I crossed my arms over my chest, suddenly feeling more naked than I had the previous night in front of Emmett with my soaked-through clothes.
Kara stepped up from beside everyone else and held out her hand, pointing to us. “This summer has been better than any show I could ever have dreamed up.”
Everyone nodded and smiled. Their full-out grins at our whole situation were maddening.
“Glad you guys are all finding this so hilarious.” Emmett barbs were part razor, part cotton candy. There was an edge to his voice, but he wasn’t spitting acid like the first night.
“You’re back.” Declan grabbed him in a bear hug that turned into a wrestling match.
“Obviously.”
Heath rounded the couch and punched Emmett in the arm.
“I got stuck in the flooding from the storm. I couldn’t get out, so I walked back.” He didn’t look at me. Right. He hated me, thought I’d cheated, and nothing had changed just because he had been nice to me the night before.
The awkwardness was back, like that feeling when you trip in front of a crowd of onlookers.
Declan stepped forward. “Why didn’t you call us? We’d have come to get you.”
“It’s all good. It was late. I needed the space.”
I folded the blanket and draped it over the arm of the couch. The closeness of the previous night had evaporated so quickly my lips puckered.
Declan rocked back on his heels.
“Let’s head somewhere off the island today, if the bridge is clear,” Emmett suggested.
Heath sucked his breath through his teeth and made a face like when your grandmother offers you another plate full of meatballs with raisins in them. “That would be awesome, but we’ve got a couples kayaking thing going on today.”
“Wow, way to extend the invite.” Emmett looked at them like they’d kicked his dog. “Not like I didn’t pay for all this so we could hang out.” He actually said it like he’d forgotten he hadn’t paid for this summer vacation. It was a default for him that he always paid. As long as I’d known him, he’d never tried to bend people to his will with his money, but the fear that he would had always lurked in the background for me, especially after the run-in with his parents. I’d always worried it was only a matter of time before he’d lord the fact that he was paying for things over me.
“Wow, nice, Emmett.” I crossed my arms over my chest, seething. It seemed the passing storm hadn’t just washed away the lightning and thunder, but also my driving fear to run and hide when he was near.
“It’s true.” There was fire in his eyes.
“Technically, it’s not,” Heath said, piping up as he inched toward Emmett like he was approaching a wounded animal.
Emmett’s head whipped around. “What?”
“We told you not to worry about paying for all this, so everyone chipped in and split it. Since you weren’t going to be here the whole summer, it didn’t even make sense for you to foot the bill. We wanted to give it back to you, finally pay for something for you.”
“You guys are renting the place without me?” The edge to his voice was a mixture of disbelief and betrayal. His shoulders rounded and he fixed his eyes on me.
“It’s no big deal. We gave the realtor the money and everything’s set up. There’s a refund check waiting for you at her office. They were going to mail it out this week.” Heath looped his arm around Kara’s shoulder, and Emmett looked even more confused than before.
“I thought I could take it, but this situation is fucked.”
“Emmett…”
His eyes snapped to mine. My stomach curdled. I thought maybe after last night we’d be able to make it through this. But it wasn’t just anger in his eyes. It was hurt. Me being here was hurting him.
“I’m going for a run.” He disappeared into the bedroom and came back out seconds later with a shirt in hand, slipping his sneakers on.
“Hey, Emmett—” Heath called out.
“Where is he going?” Liv asked from the bottom of the steps.
The door banged closed behind him, a hell of a lot less dramatically than the last time he’d walked away from me.
“He’ll be okay. Just give him some space. Who’s ready for some breakfast?” Declan clapped his hands and rubbed them together.
Everyone else headed into the kitchen. Cabinets opened and closed. Electricity raced through my body. This wasn’t over. He’d be back. The weight on my chest made it hard to breathe. I couldn’t take this, couldn’t take the anger and hatred in his eyes. Worst of all was the hurt. It was why I’d stayed away, why I’d left as soon as I could, but Mak wasn’t going to let me anymore. I wasn’t going to force her to keep getting between us, sending us to our corners of the ring.
Following the scent of coffee, I walked into the kitchen, and Mak pushed a mug toward me. A small smile was all I could muster. Lifting the pot, I froze mid-pour. Everyone else moved around, pulling things out and laughing together.
Out the kitchen window, I saw someone had pulled into the driveway with Emmett’s car, followed by a truck with ‘Mike’s Auto Body’ painted on the side. A guy in coveralls stood beside Emmett and handed him the keys, and he signed the clipboard the mechanic held out. Emmett’s car was parked beside Percy, who looked like a beaten-down lump next to Emmett’s pristine new S-Class coupe.
“Shit.” I shook the piping hot coffee off my hand and dashed out the door. I couldn’t let him leave. I wasn’t going to let this be over. He’d stay away because of me, and as much as I wanted to hate him forever, I couldn’t take the guys away from Emmett, not when I knew how much they meant to him. I’d written his parents off as a lost cause; loneliness was something I’d always seen in him. He’d tried to pretend but wore it on his sleeve whenever I was around, never afraid to tell me how much he missed me and liked me being around, unlike most guys our age, who were desperately trying to play it cool. My dad might not have been the best, but he was usually around, and I’d always had Alyson.
Emmett had extended me a kindness the previous night; I could do this for him.
With my hands on the railing, I raced down the steps, my bare feet slapping against the brick pavers when I hit the bottom. The engine turned over. I yanked open the passenger door and threw myself into the car.
Emmett’s arm was behind the headrest of the passenger seat as he prepared to back up.
“What the hell are you doing? Get out.” He stared at me like a he’d seen a ghost, haunted and angry.
“No, listen, we can’t keep doing this—declaring a truce and then crapping all over it.”
He stared straight ahead and tightened his hands on the steering wheel.
“I need you to leave.” The muscles in his jaw tightened.
“Listen to me.” There was an edge of desperation in my voice, more so than usual. “We’ve co-existed fine enough so far. I’m not going to be here all summer. I’ve got one week left. With Declan and Mak together, we’re going to have to figure out how to get over our past. I know you don’t think it’s true, but I’m not trying to keep you away from the guys.”
He glanced at me before settling right back on the steering wheel.
“I don’t want to figure things out. I don’t want you here. Leave my friends alone.” His angry words bounced off the plush interior o
f the car, which was nothing like Percy, whose suspension was so shot I was surprised my teeth hadn’t been jolted loose.
I bristled. This couldn’t work if I was the only one trying to keep the powder keg from exploding. “They were my friends too, ya know. Who the hell did Heath come to for advice with that student teacher? What about Declan at the prom with Mak? They were my friends for three years.” Not until the past week had I realized how much I’d missed them. They were the same goofy group I’d hung out with on so many nights at Emmett’s house or at the rink. “You don’t have the right to tell me where I can and can’t go.”
“I booked this house, I paid—”
“You didn’t. You’ve had that in your back pocket for a while, haven’t you? Always ready to whip it out and rub it in someone’s face. Everyone chipped in to pay for this place.” I jabbed my fingers toward the house. The slats of the blinds at the window swung and swayed as whoever was there shot back away from the glass.
“I’ve never used the fact that I’ve paid against anyone.”
“But you could. You always had that power and you knew it—we all knew it.”
“I would never use that against the guys.”
“Looks like no one wanted to take any chances.” I glared. I’d hoped he wasn’t that guy, or maybe I’d been blind to clues that he was more like his parents than I wanted to admit. I hated thinking that, never wanted to believe it, but had I pretended myself right into a pretty little corner with a guy who’d turn out exactly like Mr. and Mrs. Cunning? A shudder shot through me.
The heat of his stare was a punch to the stomach.
“I—” His shoulders rounded, his body hunched, but his grip on the wheel didn’t lessen.
“We’re both here by their gracious invitations.”
“I don’t want you here.” His words barely made it through his clenched jaw.
“We’ve gone over this more than once: you have fun, I have fun, and then we both leave.” A few months ago, I’d have turned around and run the second there was a hint of Emmett in the vicinity, but I wasn’t going to do that anymore.