The Beginning at the End of the World: A Post-Apocalyptic, Dystopian Series (The Survivor Diaries Book 2)

by Lynn Lamb

  “What are you doing?”

  “Don’t get your panties in a bunch. Oh, wait, you’re not wearing panties. That sexy ass gives a whole new meaning to the saying ‘going commando,’ doesn’t it, princess?”

  He pulled me toward him and kissed me. I felt both of our bodies respond, but I pulled away.

  “No, not princess. I’m the Queen. Remember? It was your idea. It hasn’t even been twenty-four hours. People are going to get suspicious if they aren’t already.”

  “Yeah, well last night I found a flaw in the plan,” he said and turned to find a package of MREs that he ripped open with his teeth.

  “Your Majesty, thou art a difficult little vixen without your coffee. Seriously, I was watching you with Baldwin. You almost made a six-foot-four, 220-pound man pee himself.”

  “Just make the coffee, please,” I pleaded.

  He finished and handed me the cup of lukewarm coffee. Good, that would help it go down faster.

  Jackson sat down in the chair across the room from me.

  “People will only act suspicious if we act suspicious,” he explained. “I am not doing anything wrong because I love you. And someday you are going to say it back to me and mean it.

  “So, here is the flaw in the plan. I can’t keep my hands off of you. So, I have devised a way for me to see you without anyone being the wiser. I was rooming with Major Kim, Specialist Woolf and his wife. On a side note, they were getting busy last night, even with her big, old preggo belly, I mean baby bump.

  “But I digress. I moved Major Kim’s equipment into the Com Center since you are no longer taking up space in there. I moved Ethan and Madison in with Tiffany. I thought that it would be nice for them to share pregnancy notes. And bing, bang, boom, I have a cave to myself.”

  “Good for you. I am in here where I am expected to be.”

  “Yes, but you can sneak out after everyone is asleep,” he told me.

  “Mom, Billy and Bailey go to bed early, but Ammie studies well into the night,” I said.

  “Thomas told me that she is going to move in with him. And before you blow a gasket, he is rooming with the Geek Squad, or whatever they call themselves these days. They will be up all night talking about whatever it is that smart people talk about.”

  “What is this, musical snow caves? I wish there was a Starbucks nearby,” I whined.

  My complete non sequitur threw him, and he shook his head. “As long as you stop at my place when the music ends, I don’t care,” he told me. “So, tell me the truth. Do you still have no underwear on?”

  “Don’t you want to know?”

  “Ah, that’s why I asked,” he groaned.

  “Go,” I ordered. “Tell the com cave people I’ll be there shortly. Actually, don’t tell them that we were together. Just go, and I will be there in a few. And Jackson, thanks for the coffee.”

  After I got rid of him, I rifled through Ammie’s luggage for a clean bra and panties and discovered another of her secrets. Smart people can smuggle two suitcases onto a convoy that only allowed one, without being noticed. She had one whole suitcase devoted to underclothes, ill-advised shoes for the snow, and accessories.

  She wouldn’t miss what I had taken.

  ∞

  Things were in full swing in the small cave when I got there. There was almost no space to move, so I stayed back, in the shadows, hoping to stay relatively unnoticed.

  That didn’t last long.

  “Ah, Laura,” said Colonel Mason. “How kind of you to join us.”

  “I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” warned Jake. Mason just stared at him, looking as if he were trying to figure out what he meant and who the hell Jake was to talk to him like that.

  “She hasn’t had her coffee yet,” Jake explained.

  “I think I can handle the lil’ lady,” Mason said.

  A round of “Ahhs,” and “Ohs” came from Jake, Mark, and stupid Colonel Jackson. Mark glared at him.

  “Mason, never call me that again. Because I might be ‘lil’ compared to you, but, so help me God, I will shove my hand down your throat and give you a homemade tonsillectomy. Free. Of. Charge. Oh, and women aren’t something that need to be handled. We won personhood and the right to vote and everything.” I would have seemed a lot tougher if I wasn’t drowning in the men’s size small uniform I was wearing. I self-consciously pulled my fatigue pants up as I waited to see if that idiot would continue.

  “Since you seem to have such an issue with the military, why are you wearing that uniform?” asked Mason. Man, that guy would not give up.

  “Since you ask,” I said. “I was wearing almost all of my clothing when Steven Rolette’s blood spurted all over me. The blood froze my clothes onto my skin, and when I extricated myself from the material, it ripped, and took some of my flesh with it. The other few pieces of clothing I could bring with me are in a truck, which is buried under several feet of snow.”

  “I have some uniforms you can wear,” whispered Major Kim in my ear. She probably had many occasions to know what I was feeling.

  “Can we please get back to business now?” asked Mason. Maybe he hadn’t had his coffee yet.

  “Absolutely. Please go and stand with your people, Mason,” I commanded. “There are questions I need answered. We didn’t have time before the attacks to chat. First, where is the livestock?”

  “We made a snow cave for them,” said Woolf. “Sergeant Ramirez is taking care of them. They plan to bring them out soon. They are fine in the snow. We only kept them in there so their movement wouldn’t be spotted from the sky.”

  “Where ever they are, I need someone to go and get the goat’s milk pumping,” I said. “Doc, how much milk can the kids drink before they get diarrhea?”

  “If goat’s milk is anything like cow’s milk, I would say they could start with a half glass today,” said Malcolm.

  “Woolf, would you mind going up and getting that started?” I asked. He looked at Mason, who nodded an affirmative.

  “Now, I am confused. Who is actually the boss of the military team you all assembled?” I asked.

  “Laura,” Mark started, but when I looked at him, he backed down. I was a military wife; I knew all about ranks. On the other hand, someone might very well be in charge under the circumstances.

  Fitzpatrick, the obvious peacekeeper in the group, spoke up. “We follow the chain of command, just like we did before the war. The highest rank among us is Colonel. We have me, Colonel Mason and Colonel Jackson. Next in the ranks are the Majors; Major Owens and Major Kim.”

  “Fine,” I jumped in before he could continue. “No one person is in charge of you. That’s good, because you can just think of me as Commander-in-Chief, or Queen, whichever you prefer.” I saw Jackson’s smile grow into a wide grin that he was trying unsuccessfully to submerge behind his hand.

  “I made it perfectly clear before the last round of attacks that we, the Villagers, can continue on our own if we have to. But no decisions that affect us all are to be made by anyone unilaterally, including me. So, ladies and gentlemen, it’s still the Villager’s Rodeo.”

  I realized I no longer felt disbelief when I spoke forcefully. I wasn’t on a power trip either, I simply wasn’t afraid anymore. Ammie’s speech to the Village, and Jackson’s private speech to me, made me realize that it was okay to lead without apology.

  Bri and Adam’s revelations about how much the MT needed us made me understand that they weren’t about to abandon us.

  “I believe that we were given a rather incomplete list of your assets before we hit the road,” I said. “Since we are all in this together now, you have no need to hide anything from us anymore. I would like a list no later than COB.”

  “COB?” asked First Lieutenant Granville.

  “Oh, did I forget to tell you my background? I’m corporate, at least I was. COB means Close of Business, meaning five o’clock in the evening.

  “Now, how’s the plan for digging us out of here going?” I continue
d.

  ∞

  “My sack of gear is down here somewhere,” said Kim as she led me into another supply cave, one without a dead body I hoped.

  “Thank you, Major Kim,” I said

  “Call me Cassie,” she told me. “After what you just unleashed on the men, I don’t think they are expecting you to play our war games with us.”

  I smiled in appreciation.

  “Permission to speak honestly?” she asked.

  “Cassie, like you just said, I am not on the MT. From here on out, I hope that you will speak honestly without asking, even to those jerky Colonels. Actually, especially to them,” I said.

  She looked overjoyed at the thought.

  “I have wanted to go off on them like you just did so many times. Even though there is no official army that I know of, we have still been playing out our roles. I have been in awe of you for a while, too. We were getting all sorts of camera feeds from the Village. Colonel Jackson’s gushing about how good you are was spot on.”

  My cheeks were warm from blushing. “I am honored, thank you.”

  “Look, here it is,” she said, pulling out a large green duffle bag with her name and social security number written on it in indelible, black ink. I helped her pull it to the surface, and she hoisted it on her shoulder and carried it to my snow cave.

  “Want to hear something funny, Cassie?” I asked while she unpacked some of her stuff. “One of my bucket list wishes, before the war, was to go to one of those fancy ice hotels in Canada.”

  We both laughed hard at the irony.

  “What are you two laughing at?” Ammie said as she crawled into our latest home. I hadn’t spent any time with Ammie since I found out about her and Thomas. It felt a little weird, but I shook it off. I guess we both had secrets.

  “About those ice hotels in Canada we always wanted to vacation at,” I told her.

  “Yeah, in retrospect, they weren’t the best idea,” said Ammie.

  “Here,” said Cassandra, pulling out a drab-green sports bra with matching panties. They were the ugliest underwear I had ever seen. By the look on Ammie’s face, she felt the same.

  “Well, I actually already stole a bra from Ammie,” I said in an effort not to be rude.

  “Ah,” said Ammie.

  “Yep, that really cute pink one with black polka-a-dots and the little black ribbon in the front. ‘Cuz even though I am some badass leader, I still want to feel pretty,” I said as I batted exaggerated eyelashes at her.

  “Man, that was my favorite,” she said.

  “Maybe the Major will loan you hers,” I said.

  Cassie laughed so hard she snorted. I bet she missed female companionship.

  “I might be borrowing one of yours, too, Amanda. Say, what you got in those suitcases of yours?” she chided.

  Cassie firmly cemented her place in our girls club this afternoon. And she got a pity bra from Ammie, who asked if she could burn one of Cassie’s bras in return.

  “Here is a uniform that will fit you a lot better, Laura,” said Cassie. She was right. I didn’t feel like a little boy wearing his daddy’s clothes anymore.

  I haven’t felt that free, that light-hearted, since months before the Last War.

  ∞

  We crawled out of the cave still laughing, and I bumped head first into Bri’s calf.

  “What’s so funny?” she asked.

  “We, we just found out what kind of bra you wear with your uniform,” said Ammie, who couldn’t catch her breath she was laughing so hard.

  “Shut up,” said Bri, half-heartedly. “By the way, Aunt Laurie. Nice outfit.”

  “Why thank you, Bri,” I returned with a curtsy. It certainly felt better than the one I had been trying to hold onto my body.

  I looked over into a snowy field where Mark and a group of other soldiers were playing soccer with the kids. He was wearing a uniform now. When did that happen?

  The feeling of guilt in my stomach replaced my short-lived happiness. How could I be laughing and happy while Mark was hurting? I just wasn’t ready to confront him yet. I have always run in the opposite direction of any sort of confrontation with him. But this wouldn’t be for me. It was only fair to him, wasn’t it?

  I made the decision not to speak with Mark in private until I was ready. I wasn’t sure how long it would take.

  ∞

  I spent hours with Ammie, Bri and Cassie uncovering RV one. We needed Annie and her team to be able to cook. MREs and fake coffee sucked. Plus, the bathroom was very missed by all of us.

  As I stopped my digging to try and stretch the ache out of my shoulders, I looked down the line of vehicle shaped snow mounds and saw Jackson helping with the shoveling, too. His uniform shirt was open, revealing a sweaty undershirt that clung to his fit chest.

  He looked over at me and winked. When I thought about it, he always seemed to be looking my way, and I ignored it before. Now, it energized me. I stuck my shovel back in the hard snow and kicked it with my boot to break up a clump.

  It was slow going, though. By supper, we had only RV one uncovered fully. It was MREs for us this evening, and it was corned beef hash for me. Again, Bailey and Hershey were the only ones in our cave to enjoy the ready-to-eat meals.

  “Bailey Bug,” I said. “How did you like the milk today?”

  “It was kinda good, and kinda weird. Miss Holly said it was warm because it had just come out of a goat. Laura, can we play with the goats? Miss Holly said she wasn’t sure. Please.”

  “I will go with you to talk to Sergeant Ramirez to ask him if it’s okay,” I told her.

  “Is Mark going to sleep in here with us tonight?” Bailey asked.

  “No, Mark has to stay with the radios,” I told her. It wasn’t a lie.

  After dinner, I went to wash up in RV one and ran into Mark. It was so awkward. Just two days ago we were just a normal husband and wife. Now we had no idea how to even greet each other. We opted for exchanging “hey.”

  Some of the tents were brought out of storage for the people who wanted to get out of the caves. That was definitely me. Rolette’s one person tent was now available, and I asked Sampson to help me set it up. Yes, one reason was for an easy escape to Jackson, but I also really needed time alone. I couldn’t get that time until everyone was asleep for the night. It’s amazing how I could love everyone in the Village so much and still crave time to myself.

  When I told everyone in Annie’s cave that I would be in a tent tonight, I got some strange stares.

  “First, Ammie and now you. Do we smell funny?” Billy kidded.

  “Yes, but we all do,” I joked honestly. “I have a lot of work. There is so much to do before we get back on the road.”

  I helped to get a goat-obsessed Bailey into her sleeping bag. She was good company for Annie and Billy.

  ∞

  I had to go into the com cave for some of the paperwork they needed me to tend to.

  I heard joking voices as I descended the ladder. I was relieved when I realized one was Mark’s voice. But when he saw me he quickly turned back to the radios and pulled on a pair of headphones. I felt a pang of hurt, but I went over to Cassie to get what I needed.

  When I got back to my tent, Carrie was waiting for me outside of the flap.

  Damn, there goes my alone time, I thought.

  “Hi, Laura. I thought you might need me to help with some of this work,” she said as she took some of the papers that I was about to drop.

  “Carrie, you are too nice. But I’ve got this. Go and spend a non-terrifying night with Samantha,” I told her.

  She looked relieved not to have to work on all the crap that I had to take care of. I understood that.

  I was buried in the minutia of my task when I heard Jackson’s nasal voice. “Can I come in?”

  “If you can fit,” I told him. I barely looked up when I said, “What’s up?”

  He took the page from my hand and whispered, “Smooth move with the tent. I’m off security at zero th
irty hours. That’s twelve-thirty in ‘corporate time.’ Heh, heh.”

  I laughed and nodded my affirmation.

  “Sorry you have to wear a uniform. Maybe Naomi will have some civvies for you to wear when we get to the Valley. She is much taller than you, though,” he said.

  It was strange that he referred to her by her first name. Had he ever done that with any of the other MT?

  “Can’t wait to see you out of that uniform,” he said as he left the tent.

  “Is that all you think about?”

  “Right now, yes.”

  January 5

  I have to admit that I had a hell of a time focusing on the work in front of me. My mind kept drifting back to sounds he made last night and his smell. It was intoxicating.

  I decided that having been caked in blood the day before with only an alcohol rub bath to clean myself made it fair for me to take a shower, even if I wasn’t on the schedule. I snuck past the sleeping people in the RV, and I washed it all down the drain; all of the fear, guilt and even the lust. I would start fresh with Jackson tonight.

  When I finished, I found a windup alarm clock in RV one and claimed it as my own. I brought it back to my tent, and I set it for twelve-thirty, just in case I fell asleep, but that wasn’t going to happen. My heart was pounding in anticipation.

  When the tick-tock finally indicated twelve-thirty, I quietly made my way to Jackson’s igloo. I crawled through the opening and into a small, glacial room lit with at least twenty tea candles. They shone a soft light on the ice walls that made the room appear to be twinkling. He had somehow found a blow-up mattress and had placed sleeping bags and blankets on top of it. There were two glasses of red wine in actual glass wine goblets.

  “It’s breath-taking,” I said.

  He came behind me and whispered in my ear, “Remember to breathe.”

  Phillip’s got game, I thought.

  “Wait,” he said. He went through the small opening and came back out with a rope. He put a small wooden desk on its side and tied the ends of the rope around it so that when someone pulled at it from the wooden door outside they would not be able to pull it through the small passageway; it was too big. Devilishly ingenious.