Arnie, Mervin, & The Blood of Kings

by Pedliham, Luke

  Everyone except the two chanting girls throw Cliff a surprised look;

  “Well you’ve let me eat all your food and you say they’re crows up there right?”

  Mervin nods to confirm;

  “Yeah - I hate crows and love a good scrap,….so count me in!”

  “Four!” says Alfie as he jumps on the table too and puffs out his little chest beside his feathered comrades.

  “No that’s still three Alfie. We counted you already.” says Mervin as he pats Alfie’s little head condescendingly;

  Lady then moves to centre stage, barks and wags her tail as if to say “Actually, you do have four!”

  “No, you’re with me Lady. I need you.” says Arnie as he rubs his faithful friends head endearingly.

  At this point Gwyneth and Vera are starting to get louder and more confident with their chanting;

  “FLATUS, AQUA, TERRA. THREE ELEMENTS OF ASTRAL WE SUMMON THEE. STRENGTH OF THESE ELEMENTS BY MY SIDE, TO THIS FORCE OF NATURE YOU SHALL ABIDE.”

  Outside the clouds quickly gather and block out the sun as the wind picks up and starts to blow with real force in the direction of Morgan and her army of Drones, gradually getting stronger and stronger and slowing them down to a crawl in the process. The gale force wind is then joined by torrential rain, making the earth beneath Morgan’s feet turn into a quick-sand like muddy sludge. Morgan pushes on against the piercing rain and wind shielding her face with her hands from the marble sized rain drops that are relentlessly bombarding her as she struggles onwards through the mud.

  Back inside, Gwyneth and Vera are now shouting their chant with real gusto and poise as they see Morgan struggling outside in the mud. A loud crack of thunder and piercing bolt of lightning quickly follows as the wind howls through the house and the doors and windows blow open and shut like a scene from The Exorcist;

  Morgan falls down onto her hands and knees but crawls onwards through the mud as she continues to be pelted by the wind and rain. The sodden ground behind her then begins to open up into what looks like a muddy whirlpool as she is gradually pulled down into it. Her face wears a look of pure uncompromising evil purpose and determination as she claws at the loose, muddy ground in desperation and screams at the top of her lungs in frustration. She looks up briefly and watches her drones slam into the trees and fall to the ground as they also try in vain to fight against the elements. Eventually, Morgan and the grounded drones disappear from sight as they are all dragged downward into the deep, dark sod.

  While that was happening, Archie, Alfie and their new mate Cliff had begun tidying up the weakened drones who had dwindled in numbers due to the twins elemental spell. The three feathered warriors fight the remaining drones with all they have got, although Archie is still feeling the effects of the essence of chaos fire;

  “COME AND HAVE A GO IF YOU THINK YOU’RE HARD ENOUGH!” he says (clearly having been hanging out with Alfie for too long) as he bombs towards the weakened but still quite vast cloud of drones.

  Alfie knows better than to leave his best buds side and follows him into battle accordingly. However, Archie’s strategy is pretty much non-existent at this point and he just slams into the mass of drones talons first - grabbing a Drone in each talon and then flinging them violently into the treeline while pecking and flapping his wings wildly as he scraps like a drunken scaffolder on a Friday night. Alfie sees that Archie’s actions are well out of character and dangerous considering the odds, and so attempts to calm him and strategize in a way that might get his attention;

  “Red Leader this is Red five, Red Leader this is Red five, do you read me?” says Alfie as he swoops in and smashes into an attacking Drone from behind Archie’s back.

  They both fly out of the melee and bank to the left as Alfie drops back behind his larger companion and they both start to fly in perfect synchronicity. They are then joined by Cliff who gets into formation accordingly behind Archie. Alfie throws him a wink and a winged salute as he shifts over, allowing Cliff to slot in on the right of Archie so that the three of them are now flying in a small V-Shaped, battle-ready formation:

  “Alright lads! You look like you could use some back up?” says Cliff excitedly, clearly relishing the prospect of a good scrap;

  “I’ll say! Red Leader is still a bit off his game. We need all the help we can get.” replies Alfie;

  “Red who?” asks Cliff;

  “Archie. Just call him Red Leader will you. It’ll help him focus. It’s from his favourite scene in Star Wars. Not that he’d admit…..”

  “Red five, Gold leader we’re going in! Watch your tails for enemy fighters.” says Archie suddenly;

  “Copy Red leader” says Alfie as Cliff nods to signal he’s ‘got it’;

  The three of them, led by Archie then fly upwards to get some height on the Drones and once the optimal height is reached - they fold their wings back, point their beaks and dive-bomb straight toward the centre of the Drone Army like air to air missiles;

  “Stay on target!” shouts Archie as the not-so-aerodynamic Cliff starts to wobble slightly.

  “STAY ON TARGET!” shouts Archie again as Cliff shudders violently and begins to lose his ‘balance’;

  “I CAN’T HOLD IT!” screams Cliff;

  “AAAAAAAAHAHAAHAAAAA!!” screams Alfie maniacally as Cliff joins in and the three of them crash into the drones, immediately knocking at least ten of them out of the sky and down to the muddy floor below.

  Archie carries on where he left off, grabbing drone after drone with his razor sharp talons, flinging them one by one to the floor or into the treeline whilst blocking attacks from above with his big strong wings. Alfie stays close to Archie as he struggles being the smallest and weakest of the three - but because of what is at stake he fights like an owl possessed! He takes out at least five drones in a short space of time by putting his speed and agility to good use, manoeuvring in such a way that makes the Drones fly into tree’s and each other - whilst also giving them a helping talon along the way! He swoops and spins, dives and banks and uses his meagre size and superior flying skills to his advantage, seamlessly moving around in between the Drones like some sort of an airborne Ninja. Cliff is a little less refined than the owls in terms of grace and elegance but he compensates by being more of a brute, and has rolled up his proverbial sleeves on this occasion to get stuck in! He bashes each Drone that comes his way with his wings, using his strength and arrogance to the fullest, whilst also utilising his beak like a head butt! As he nuts and knocks out the latest drone to come his way, Cliff sees a big, battle scarred and very angry looking drone making a beeline straight for Alfie. The Drone General is looking for revenge and to finish what he started. Archie is too busy kicking ten bells out of Drone after Drone to realise, and is seemingly having a ball in doing so. Cliff then realises that Archie won’t get to his little pal in time if at all, so makes a move towards Alfie to intercept the General himself. As he is not as adept at flying as the other two he knocks and bumps into a few other attacking Drones along the way, one of which injures his wing quite badly. He acknowledges the injury he sustained by grimacing in pain, but soldiers onwards regardless and just brushes it off like the hard-as-nails ‘gull he is - as he just makes it in time to swoop down in front of the Drone General before he gets to Alfie!

  Cliff and the General just hang in the sky for a moment sizing each other up before;

  “CAAWWWW!!”

  The Drone General lets out a spine chilling battle cry and launches himself towards Cliff with a crazy look in his already dead eyes. Cliff is not intimidated however, and lets out a battle cry of his own;

  “COME ON THEN!” he says;

  Cliff and the Drone General fly toward each other with deadly purpose before finally clashing in mid-air. Cliff grabs the Drone General and tried to nut him, but the Drone General has been here before many times by the look of him and deflects it expertly, stabbing his beak into Cliff’s already damaged wing in the process. After a few more seconds of fighting - wh
ite, grey and black feathers fall out of the melee. Then, almost immediately, dirty-red feathers fall of the melee out too as it slows down, signalling there may already be a victor;

  “CAAWWW!” comes the blood curdling victorious battle cry of the Drone General as Cliff falls from the sky bleeding, beaten and broken.

  Alfie who is still in the midst of his own fight sees his new mate and recent saviour fall from the sky and hit the ground as the General admires his work spitefully from above. Alfie feels the rage build up inside him and finally sees red, letting out his own battle cry out of sheer anger for his fallen friend;

  “SKREEEEEEEEEEE”

  Alfie swoops down from the sky heroically and slams into the Drone General by surprise, spinning him around twice in mid-air, causing him to lose his baring’s. Alfie turns expertly and swoops by the General once more, spinning him back the other way before turning around and swooping in one last time for a short, sharp, concentrated attack of talon, wing and beak! This was not the same Alfie as before. This was no Pygmy Owl – THIS was a true warrior of the sky, and he was NOT going to go down as easily this time! However, the Drone General is seemingly not going to go down easily either. Alfie continues his hearty attack but begins to tire shortly after as he realises that he may have bitten off more than he can chew again….

  Archie is still otherwise engaged taking the lion’s share of the Drones out and with Cliff seemingly out of the fight Alfie begins to fear the worst as he rapidly begins to tire. As he weakly tries to claw at the his face the General notices the obvious loss of power and smiles as he prepares to retaliate! Then, just as the General is about to get medieval - the two little Blue Tits that Mervin conjured up on the ethereal plane appear out of nowhere holding a branch between them that looks far too big for them to carry. At this point, if a bird could ever look completely baffled and discombobulated that would be the look the Drone General gives them as the two diminutive birds fly straight into him and ‘clothes-line’ him with the branch, knocking him out of the sky and to the ground in to the same pile of sludge that Morgan was dragged into.

  A similarly discombobulated looking Alfie acknowledges the help from the two blue tits with a nod and shouts down to Cliff;

  “CLIFF! ARE YOU OK?”

  Thankfully Cliff’s injury’s aren’t as bad as first thought and he pulls himself to his feet, giving Alfie a winged salute to indicate he’s ok and appreciates the assist.

  “COME ON THEN? THIS IS NO TIME TO RELAX!” shouts Alfie facetiously.

  Cliff brushes himself down, rolls up his proverbial sleeves and gets himself back in the air alongside Alfie, the two blue tits and Archie, who now seems to have ‘come down’ completely from the essence of chaos fire;

  “I saw that Alfie.” says Archie as he fly’s alongside him;

  “Yeah,…I know it was stupid and I could have been hurt, but Cliff was….”

  “…….you did well my boy. I’m proud of you. I’m proud of ALL of you!”

  The two little blue tits tweet back in appreciation as Alfie and Cliff also thank their new found friends. Archie then turns back to his diminutive protégé and says;

  “Lead the way Alfie. I’m right behind you,…always.”

  Alfie puffs out his chest as his eyes well up with pride at his mentors praise. Archie falls to the back of the V-shape formation alongside Cliff for this grand gesture of confidence in his best buddy. The two blue tits sit in front of them with Alfie now heading their small but air-tight and battle ready V formation.

  “Rogue Squadron - prepare to dive. Ready? DIIIIIIIIIIIVE!” screams Alfie as they manoeuvre expertly through the sky, only breaking formation briefly for short sharp attacks. Alfie takes out a few Drones with the two blue tits helping him, ganging up and overwhelming their opponents, whilst Cliff and Archie continue to take their own opponents out in their own ways. With Morgan seemingly out of action and without any leadership or direction forthcoming from her or the Drone General, their numbers dwindle even more, as they either fall from the sky or retreat completely from the fight. Alfie and the others look around them and start to believe they might actually win this!

  Arnie, Loui and Lady arrive outside having taken a little longer to get there and only catch the end of the aerial battle that has just taken place.

  “Where did the blue tits come from?” asks Arnie.

  Loui taps Arnie, turns around and points to Mervin who is inexplicably running in the opposite direction and away from the action.

  “Ah yes. Who else?” he exclaims;

  “Where’s he going? We need him, no?” asks Loui;

  “Yeah. We do.” says Arnie despondently as Mervin disappears around the corner.

  Arnie panoramically peruses the battle ground that is littered with injured drones all flapping around pathetically like tortoises that have been flipped onto their backs, before he comes to the big black pool of sludge that Morgan was dragged into.

  “I think,….I think we did it!” says Arnie as he and Loui approach the sludge, both gripping their swords tightly with fear.

  The wind and rain begins to ease off and Arnie pushes the blade of his sword carefully into the sludge while holding onto Loui’s arm to stop himself from falling in;

  “Can you feel anything?” asks Loui as Arnie pokes and prods around in the mud;

  “No. I don’t know where she…..wait….” replies Arnie as he suddenly appears to hit something solid under the earth.

  Lady begins to snarl aggressively and begins barking at the pool of sludge;

  “I think I’ve fou….”

  As he is talking something very strong suddenly grabs hold of the other end of the sword and yanks Arnie forward towards the sludge. Only Loui’s quick reflexes stop Arnie from being pulled in headfirst as he drops his sword and grabs hold of the back of Arnie’s jeans to pull him back and Lady bites onto the back of his trousers also. Arnie holds onto The Ex tightly with both hands and pulls with all his might, as do Loui and Lady respectively. As they all pull with all of their combined strength, Loui shouts through gritted teeth;

  “SHOULD WE REALLY BE TRYING TO SAVE HER?”

  “I’M NOT TRYING TO SAVE HER AM I? I’M TRYING TO PULL THE BLOODY SWORD OUT!” replies a visibly frustrated Arnie.

  Arnie, Loui and Lady are now all teetering on the edge of the muddy bog all covered in dirt and filth as Arnie is suddenly pulled down to his knees - still holding onto the sword with everything he’s got! As they pull back harder and harder they are suddenly joined by Gwyneth and Vera who link up with them to form a chain. They are subsequently then joined by Archie, Alfie, Cliff and even the two blue tits who also grab hold of a piece of the person (or bird) in front of them and PULL!! As they all pull as hard as they can, the ambience of Morgan’s black magic starts to visibly creep up and out of the mud. Before long, her pale, bony hand emerges from the bog, thick with mud and blood and tightly gripping onto the blade which is then quickly followed by her other arm exploding out of the mud violently and also grabbing the sword! Morgan gradually pulls herself out of the mud as she cuts deeper into her hands with the legendary blade. Blood pours down Excalibur’s blade and onto Arnie’s hands before eventually she fully emerges revealing her pale, bitter face to them all for the first time. She stares at Arnie intently with her black, hollow eyes and lets out a bitter howl that would make the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end;

  “Let it go Arnie!” pleads Loui as they all fearfully look upon the wretched, sodden creature standing before them;

  “NEVER!” Arnie defiantly screams in the muddied and only partially visible face that is now stood in front of him.

  Loui slips and falls backwards into the mud as do all the others like dominos. Morgan then quickly pulls herself towards Arnie by the blade of The Ex, cutting deeper still into her already bloodied hands as it runs down it and drips onto the muddy floor. She pulls Arnie in closer, stares him directly in the eyes with pure malice and contempt and says;

  “I will n
ever stop! EVER! You will die. You will all die! Then, when you are all DEAD,….I will kill her too. Slowly.”

  Morgan then snatches the sword from Arnie with ease as he slips back and falls to the floor with the others. His face says it all at this point as Morgan’s slender but intimidating frame looms over him holding his own sword to his throat. Her long black hair sticks to her face and her saturated black dress is all but hanging off of her slight figure as she stands there grimacing with a stifled hate so powerful it is almost visibly boiling under the surface;

  “You first PENDRAGON!” she says as she lifts the sword above her head, wild eyed and ready to strike;

  Loui scrambles around in the mud in a futile attempt to get to his feet and help his brother in arms while the twins and the birds all freeze with fear.

  As Morgan lifts the sword above her head fully, grinning wickedly from ear to ear, Arnie realises his own mortality for the first time, sending a wave of fear and anxiety throughout his body. He holds his hands out and screams “NO!” at Morgan in a futile attempt at defence when suddenly the sun breaks out from behind the dark clouds, reflecting off the blade and into her eyes - temporarily blinding her. She takes one hand off of the sword to shield her eyes and just as she does so Arnie’s ever faithful companion Lady, springs into action! She bounces over Arnie and the others towards Morgan and flies through the air like Krypto the Superdog, biting onto Morgan’s forearm with her strong vice-like jaws! Morgan screams out in pain as Lady uses her arm like a new chew-toy, growling, snarling and wiggling her backside to get a better grip all the while.

  “GO ON LADY!” scream the twins from the mud as they do their best to pull themselves up too.

  “Lady, no, she’s too strong!” says Arnie feebly from his grounded position.

  Morgan looks down at Arnie before looking back at the Dog currently wriggling around on her arm. She smiles and then conjures what looks like a small ball of chaos fire in her other hand while looking back at Arnie malevolently, as his eyes well up with tears and he begs;

  “No, please don’t! She’s my best friend…”