Shattered Stars

by Theresa Kay

  “Um… Wouldn’t you know better than me?”

  She cocks her head to the side. “You are not aware?”

  “Aware of…?”

  “Their estrangement. It is only recently that they have become close. Lir typically spent much more time with Kov and I. My brother has always been somewhat of a loner.”

  I glance from Rym’s back to Trel. “Rym? A loner?” He mentioned his father essentially deserted him, and that kind of fits with what I saw in Vitrad’s head, but I did not—and do not—get the impression Rym would ever isolate himself. He’s too… friendly. Although this might explain why Lir was so dumbfounded when I asked him about Kai. Lir isn’t close enough to his cousin to know about it.

  Trel watches her feet. “Perhaps ‘always’ is not the correct word. They were never particularly close… and then something happened when we were children. It was an accident, but Rym was blamed for it. We never…” She pulls her lower lip between her teeth.

  They never forgave him? Well, I suppose they have now, but still. If the images in Vitrad’s head are anything to go by, Rym couldn’t have been much older than seven or eight when the incident occurred.

  Then again, I don’t find it hard to believe of Trel. She’s never come across as warm, exactly. But Lir? I look back and forth between the two boys. I’ve seen another side to my sweet, understanding alien boy lately. He can be controlled by fear, irrationally angry, protective to the point of overbearing possessiveness… And from what Trel said, the seeds of those behaviors must have always been inside him somewhere. They’re just revealing themselves now because of what Vitrad did to him. Lir’s broken too. He just hides it better than I did.

  Something must splash across the bond, because Lir glances back at me with a curious look. I shake my head, and his brow furrows.

  I’ll explain later.

  He nods, his brow still creased.

  Really. Later.

  He finally turns back around and continues walking.

  It’s suddenly clear why Rym was so fond of the idea of me talking to my dad. He knows what it feels like to be on the losing end of a never-ending grudge. Sure, whatever he did was an accident, and what my dad did is different—more against his will than “accidental.” But before that… I loved my dad, as I’m certain Trel did her brother and Lir did his cousin.

  Guilt sends a twinge into my churning stomach. I’ve been acting like a petulant child, refusing to have anything to do with the man who was there for me most of my life. Not only that, he has knowledge I need, that Lir needs, and I’ve been too busy scowling at him to suck it up and learn from him. I shake my head at myself. I’m willing to train with Vitrad, but I balk at talking to my own dad? What is wrong with me?

  Tomorrow.

  Tomorrow, after we get settled and I’ve gotten a decent night’s rest, I’ll have the conversation with Dad I should have had when we first arrived here. He has the president’s ear. He knows more about the E’rikon science-wise than probably anyone else here, and he could be the key to figuring out both what Jastren wants and how to defeat him. We may never have a normal father-daughter relationship again, but I have to let the past go and forgive him. Not for him, but for me.

  Chuckling, I shake my head again. Peter’s speeches about forgiveness have clearly rubbed off on me.

  Trel gives me a funny look, but I wave it off and pick up my pace to catch up with Lir. I link my arm with his, and together we walk into the base.

  I ROLL OVER AND BURROW my face into Lir’s neck. We’ve been lying here for the past hour or so and there’s no other place I want to be. Even though there’s still so much hanging over our heads, there’s nothing we can do about it right now. This little bubble of peace and quiet is exactly what we both need.

  My stomach rumbles. When did I last eat? Was breakfast really the last meal I had?

  “Is there any food here?” I ask. I have no idea if this new room is stocked with—well, anything. To be honest, I haven’t registered much of my surroundings besides the bed we’re lying in and Lir’s arms wrapped tightly around me.

  “I am certain we can find something,” he says, brushing a kiss over the top of my head before rising to his feet and stretching his arms over his head. The dim lighting plays off the subtle golden shimmer of the skin that’s revealed as his shirt lifts away from his pants a bit.

  I push up on my elbows. Maybe I’m not so hungry…

  His stomach rumbles too. I chuckle, and he shoots me a wry smile.

  “I guess eating is definitely next on the agenda,” I say. I slide my legs over the side of the bed and rise to my feet. “Let’s go raid the cabinets.”

  His hand lands on the small of my back, and we walk out to an adjoining sitting room with a tiny kitchen. Luxury it is not, but if there’s food, I don’t really care.

  Lir plops down on the couch while I look through the cabinets and mini-fridge. I find a couple cans of soup and rustle around looking for an opener. “We’ll be eating gourmet tonight,” I say. I shoot him a smile, open the cans, and stick a spoon in each. “So…” I hold up one can, then the other. “Chicken and stars, or chicken noodle?”

  “Either one.”

  “Chicken noodle it is.” I walk to the couch, hand him the can, and settle down next to him.

  We eat in silence. It’s a pleasant silence though, and when we’re done I set the cans on the table and curl up on the couch under Lir’s arm.

  “I think I need to talk to my dad,” I blurt out. “He might be able to provide some insight into what Jastren’s plans are and what he wants with Ethan and Bree. And what we should do. And… other important stuff. So, I’m going to do it. Talk to him. Tomorrow.”

  “I can be there too. If you need me.” He squeezes my shoulder and pulls me in closer. “How are you doing with everything? Today has been…”

  “Confusing? Hectic? Scary? Exhausting?” I look up at him from under my brows and then down at my hands. “As well as can be expected, I guess. Maybe better than that. I’m… tired and confused, but I’ll be okay. I’m not headed for a major breakdown or anything, if that’s what you mean.”

  He takes one of my hands and gently squeezes it. “I know that. You sometimes forget I can feel what you feel and… you’ve come a long way since I first met you.”

  My lips curl into a smile. “I was basically a mess when you met me. Crazy—”

  “You were my mess.” He raises my hand to his mouth and presses a kiss to the back of it. “And the exact kind of crazy I needed in my life.”

  Warmth travels from my toes up to my cheeks. “Sometimes you’re ridiculously cheesy.”

  His eyebrow goes up. “Cheesy?”

  I shake my head. “Never mind. I like it, so I’m not complaining. What about you? How are you doing with all this?”

  He sighs and runs a hand over his head. “I… I’m not sure. Seeing my uncle has been hard. And the thing with Stella. Everything else on top of that…”

  “I’m here. For you. Whatever you need.”

  The corner of his mouth curls up, and warmth and gratitude flow across the bond. “I know. And thank you. Again.”

  “No problem.” I grin. “After all, there are benefits to this arrangement for me.”

  That eyebrow arches upward again. “Like?”

  “Like this.” I close the distance between us and press my lips to his in a gentle kiss. His hands move to the sides of my face and he holds them there as his mouth works against mine. I move to swing one leg over his lap in order to get in a better position, but he stops me with his hands on my hips. He pulls back and leans his forehead against mine.

  “You’ve been through a lot today. I don’t want you to feel… pressured.”

  “Pressured?” My brows rise. “I think I’m the one who initiated the kiss,” I say teasingly.

  “And if… I don’t…” He turns his head to the side and lets out a sigh. “I don’t want this to be about hiding from things or ignoring them or…” Green-gold eyes
meet mine, shining with intensity. “I want it to be about us.”

  I place a hand on his cheek. “So do I. And it is. In all the chaos surrounding us, you’re my only constant. I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow, or three days from now, but I damn sure can’t control it, so spending this very rare quiet time worrying about it helps no one. I want to spend this time on something for me—for us. And I want to be as close to you as possible.”

  “You’re certain?”

  A smile curls my lips, and I give his shoulder a gentle shove. “Yes!”

  And I truly am. More sure about this—about him—than I’ve been about anything. After taking Lir for granted for so long, I don’t want to wait anymore. Things around us aren’t going to get any less hectic and dangerous anytime soon. Tomorrow or the next day or the next, there’s always the possibility that one or both of us might…

  I don’t want us to miss out on any experiences we can share. I don’t want us to waste so much time stressing about tomorrow that we forget about today.

  “Yes,” I say again, more softly this time. “I’m sure.”

  The smile that lights his face is blindingly bright, and love shines from his eyes. He puts his hands on either side of my face, and this time he kisses me, pressing his lips to mine with a sweet enthusiasm. Gentle. Soft.

  I love you, he says in my head.

  I love you, too.

  He releases me, stands, and holds out his hands for me to grab. He pulls me up, and his fingers twine with mine as he leads me back to the bedroom. We stop just inside the doorway and stare at the bed while sending glances at each other from the corners of our eyes. It’s not a fearful kind of thing, more like we’re holding an entire awkward conversation without words or telepathy…

  —‘There’s the bed.’

  —‘Yup. That’s what that is.’

  Okay, so Lir is definitely not using the word “yup” for anything, but that’s what it feels like. Things went from hot on the couch, to somewhat serious, to… awkward. Yeah, that’s the word for it. A giggle starts in my chest and bubbles past my lips. I cover my mouth with my fingers and giggle again.

  He smirks at me and grabs the hand I placed over my mouth. He moves it to his side and then brings his palm to my cheek. “What, may I ask, is so funny?” he asks teasingly. His thumb strokes the side of my face, and I lean into the touch.

  “Us.” I grin. “It’s like we’ve never seen a bed before.”

  The tip of his thumb traces my bottom lip. Slowly he presses his smiling lips to mine then loops his hand around the back of my head. His other hand comes to rest on my waist, his thumb landing just below the edge of my shirt and brushing softly against my skin.

  Heat coils in my stomach, burning away what was left of the awkwardness. I bring my arms around his neck and run my hand through his hair, down over his shoulders, and back up again. My fingertips brush against the scales on the back of his neck, and a shudder travels through his body. I do it again, this time trailing my hand all the way down the center of his back and brushing against the scales under the bottom of his shirt. His breath catches, and his head tilts back slightly.

  My breath catches too, because I suddenly get what happened the last time I did that. A feeling similar to an electric shock, but warm and pleasant and tingly, crashes through the bond, washing away all my senses but…

  The way he tastes.

  The way he feels.

  The way he smells.

  And somehow his shirt is gone and it’s so very hot and my breath is catching again, but not in a good way and—

  I break out of his embrace, taking a step backward. Two steps backward. My breaths are coming in rapid pants, mostly from everything else, but there’s a tiny bit of fear in there too. Because it all got so out of control and I—

  “Hey,” Lir says, softly. “You are in control here, and it’s okay to slow down. I want this to happen at your pace.”

  I nod. Yes. Slowing down is good. I take a couple deep breaths, not enough to cool the burning need to touch him, but enough to take myself down a notch. I find his eyes with mine and move toward him, everything slowing down around me.

  He stands there, patiently, letting me approach him. Only inches separate us, but he keeps still, hands at his sides. The only signs of his internal battle are the rapid rising of his chest, the throb of the pulse at his throat, and the heat of desire flowing through the bond.

  Slowly, I reach one hand out and rest it against his bare chest. His green-gold eyes drift closed, and he takes a shaky breath.

  “Are you sure?” he asks. Even now, when we’re so close, he’d stop if I asked him to.

  I lean up on my tiptoes. “Yes,” I whisper against his lips before pressing a kiss to them.

  His mouth responds to mine, and some of the tension leaves his body, but he’s still letting me control the kiss. I tilt my head to the side for better access to his mouth, and I nip his lower lip gently with my teeth. A groan rumbles from his chest as I slide my tongue into his mouth.

  One of his hands glides upward, and he brushes his fingertips down my arm. Goose bumps rise in their wake. I tremble. He stiffens for a moment, his eyes opening, but he must see fear had no part in it because his mouth twitches into a smile as he continues to kiss me. He strokes my cheek with the back of his hand while his other arm wraps around my waist, pulling me forward and pressing my lower body against his.

  I raise a hand to his cheek and move away from the kiss. He meets my gaze, our faces only inches apart. Desire is swimming in his eyes, turning them into blazing emeralds surrounding rings of molten gold. I can’t imagine what it’s doing to mine. Every part of me is on fire, from the tips of my fingers to the bottoms of my feet, licked by the flames of a rampant hunger for the boy in front of me.

  My fingers trail down his chest, a mimic of the movement he made along my arm. At his waistband I pause to glance down at my hand tracing the edge of the gray fabric. I swallow.

  Two fingers lift my chin to face him. “We do not have to do this.”

  I smile softly. “I want to.”

  Lir wraps his arms around me and pulls me into a tight embrace, his chin resting on my head, and I move my arms to circle his waist. His chest rises and falls as his heartbeat pounds against my cheek.

  I pull back and meet his eyes. This, right now, is about us loving each other, wanting each other. It’s us sharing something special. I trust you, and I want this with you.

  His eyes sparkle, and everything he’s feeling washes over me. Desire. Lust. Nervousness. But, most of all, the warmth and light of love. He leans down and puts all of those emotions into a kiss.

  The fire inside me blazes into a raging inferno. My arms move up to lock around his neck, one hand tangling in his hair. I press harder against his mouth, and his tongue moves past my lips.

  I can feel the instant Lir stops holding himself back. He makes a sound almost like a growl and pulls my lower body against him again. One hand glides down the side of my body, and his fingertips move along the bare skin of my stomach where my shirt has risen. He slides the hand beneath the fabric and lifts it away, drawing my shirt up my body. He releases me for a moment as he pulls the shirt over my head, then crashes his lips back down on mine.

  His palm rests hot on my stomach, and he brushes the underside of my bra with his thumb. The movement is a question, a request for permission. I give it to him, arching forward into his hand. Another growl from Lir as his hands come up to cup my cheeks. I whimper at the loss of his embrace and his fingers on my chest, worried he’s stopping us again. I don’t have to worry for long. He releases my face, hooks his arms around my thighs, and lifts me from the ground. Taking slow, steady steps, he walks us across the room and lays me on the bed.

  Kneeling over me at the edge of the bed, he pauses. The smile turning up the corners of his mouth lights his eyes, the ones that are moving steadily down my body. It’s almost a predatory look, but it’s tempered by the emotions he’s shari
ng with me.

  “Blazes, you are beautiful.” He lies down alongside me, his head propped up on one hand. Staring directly into my eyes, he inches his other hand over my stomach. My breath stutters in my chest. As he holds my gaze, the green in his eyes darkens… or maybe it just seems that way because the gold ring is shining so brightly.

  I lick my lips. His eyes dart down to track the movement, then continue down my body in a slow perusal. He looks back to my face, and this time his eyebrow rises. Am I sure? I nod. He leans across to kiss me, softly at first and then hungrily. In one quick movement, he rolls us over so he’s on top of me, never moving his mouth from mine. He keeps kissing me and his hands roam over my body, my sides, my neck, my face… anywhere he can reach.

  My hands run along the muscles in his back, tentatively at first, but soon with more confidence. I move one hand into his hair, running my fingers through the curls. The other hand strays toward the center of his back and brushes over the edges of his scales. He shudders, and a strangled moan vibrates in the back of his throat, echoing through every inch of my body, both the sound and the feeling.

  Desire floods the bond from both sides, and we sink into it as we slowly strip away the rest of the barriers that separate us. Each breath echoes through the bond, each touch amplified by the connection between us, until we’re drowning in bliss and closer than we’ve ever been before. And there, drifting on an ocean of touch and taste and love, we lose ourselves in each other until we finally surrender to sleep, wrapped in warm contentment with our limbs still tangled together.

  TAP. TAP. TAP.

  No. I’m not ready to wake up yet. I snuggle closer to Lir, delighting in the feel of the warm skin of his chest against my cheek and the way our legs are tangled together.

  Tap. Tap. Tap.

  I groan and crack my eyes open. Pale light filters through the window. It’s not much past dawn. Who would be knocking this early, and what could they want? Nothing good.

  A chill travels down my body and I squeeze my eyes shut again. Not today. Not now. I need this. I need him. I need to exist in the bubble we created last night, of peace, of love, of security. I can’t—