Halfway through breakfast, Richard looked up and said, "Good heavens! It's Sunday!" He glanced at his watch and then shook his head. "Oh, I am so glad I didn't have a speaking assignment today. The jet lag and then that kitchen have made me forget everything. We completely missed church!"
Luke finished his bite and said drily, "Ok, so the ox wasn't in the mire, but the spaghetti was definitely in the peanut butter. And I'd hate for Jamie to throw up and set off a chain reaction in the chapel."
Sighing, Richard said, "Yes, that's all we need, isn't it? We'll just have to have some personal worship here at home."
By the time Chase and Angela appeared between noon and one, the house was returned to its usual level of organization and except for the priceless film footage, you would never even know to exactly what depth of destruction the three little ones were capable. Luke and Richard were long gone again and Tuckett had gone back to bed.
Charlie fixed a late lunch and then checked on Madge again. When there was nothing more she needed, Charlie dragged her tired body that was jet lagged and every other lagged, back to the great room where she asked Angela, “Is there anything else you need me to do this afternoon, Angela? Are you going to keep the kids with you here?”
Looking up from where she was reading a magazine near where the children were watching a Veggie Tales movie, Angela waved her manicure at the three partners in destruction. “We’re fine thanks. We’re just going to hang out until dinner. They’ll watch a movie. They’ll be fine. They can’t get into too much trouble. I’ll watch them.”
“Perfect. I’ll have my phone if you need me.” Charlie rolled her eyes as she wended her way back to her house. They can’t get into too much trouble. Where was she when they needed help making waffles?
As she walked past the bunkhouses she thought back to how normal things had been between her and Luke this morning in the kitchen. It was as if in the crush of things he hadn’t had time to mentally shut the silent, invisible door on their easy friendship. She knew when he had time, he might shut it again, but for this morning his casual acceptance of her went a long way toward mending the hurt of yesterday. Leaning together to find Madge’s medicine had been as comfortable as ever, except for the fact that his nearness affected her heart rate now much more than it had in the beginning.
Just as she was unlocking her door, her phone rang and she knew instantly it was showdown time with her mother. Much as she hated to face this, she gamely pushed the send button and said cheerfully, "Hello, mother."
The moment of silence on the other end of the line did nothing to allay her dread, but surprisingly her mother simply said, "I'm glad to see that you'll take my call, Charlene. Did you make it safely back out there, then?"
"Other than some jet lag, we all made it here in one piece, thank you."
It was obvious that her mother was attempting to use some diplomacy as she continued, "Give it a day or two and you'll feel fine." Then she added sternly, "I want you to know, young lady, that I don't intend to take the kind of disrespect from you that I received when you were here."
In as smooth a voice as she could muster as tired as she was, Charlie replied, "I'm sorry you took it as disrespect, mother. But you must admit I can't marry someone I feel nothing for. And I am twenty-three years old. I'm old enough to decide my own agenda."
"This has nothing to do with deciding your own agenda. You and I both know you sometimes have issues with making decisions. The least you could do is spend some time with him and see if you'll like him. He's a wonderfully sharp, young litigator."
"That's actually the problem, mother. I have no intention of ever spending time with a man whose life's work is breaking up marriages. That's repugnant."
"Oh, don't be obtuse, Charlene. The marriages are over long before Elroy gets involved. He only facilitates the split."
"Whatever you say, Mother." She decided to change the subject. "How is Shelly feeling with her pregnancy? It must be draining to keep up her workload at the office the way she does."
"Actually, she lost the baby a few weeks ago. I think it was a relief to her. She didn't feel the timing was right, what with Roger being made a partner just now. They're going to try again in a year or two."
Wondering if anyone was going to mention it to the sister in Montana, she asked, "Mom, isn't she like thirty?"
"Thirty-one, but I think they only want one or at most two. She'll be fine. Are you going to find the time to come out again for a visit before you start school? And have you been thinking about transferring to a law school closer to home. Elroy told me he had spoken to you about it in hopes of being able to get married sooner."
Charlie rolled her eyes, but simply said, "I'm not sure what my plans are yet. I'll phone you when I know for sure. I'm pretty busy here, so we'll have to see."
"I've been meaning to talk to you about that, Charlene. Those people seemed to think they could expect you to help with their children as if you were some kind of domestic help. You shouldn't let them manipulate you like that. It's demeaning. And I didn't approve of the way Fo's cousin acted as if he owned you, either."
Shaking her head at the idea the Langstons could hold a candle to her family in the manipulation department, Charlie assured her, "I think you got the wrong impression, mother. He definitely doesn't treat me as if he owns me." I wish he did. "It's been great talking to you, mother, but I'm beat. Is there anything else you needed?"
"I only called to remind you that your behavior last weekend was not becoming of an Evans. I expect you to do better in the future."
"Yes, Mother."
"And you need to be more attentive to Christopher Elroy or you're going to drive him away, even as patient as I know he is. He truly is perfect for you, dear. Trust me. I'm your mother and I know what you need."
Not willing to admit defeat or push either, Charlie replied calmly, "This is all so premature, mother. I have eight more years of school. Let's argue in a few years about this, shall we?"
"Well, if you'd be realistic and switch to a school closer to Elroy's practice, you wouldn't have to wait so long. Being married is really quite nice you know."
"I'm sure it is. Tell Daddy hello. Love you."
"I love you, too. Charlene. Think about some of these things, would you?"
"Sure, Mom. Take care."
"Goodbye, Charlene."
"Bye, Mom."
With a sigh, Charlie mumbled, “Does she have any idea how hard it is to even get accepted to a law school? Transfer. So I can marry a sharp young divorce litigator. My word. She’s a lunatic.”
She prayed and then climbed into bed even though it was only mid afternoon. She knew she shouldn’t do this as far as getting her body back into Montana standard time, but she was dead. She couldn’t wait until tonight to let her body rest.
****
She slept soundly until sometime deep in the middle of the night and then she started having strange broken dreams about Tyree that didn’t quite let her wake up, but wouldn’t let her rest either. Finally, she had such a vivid nightmare flashback about the night that Tyree had hurt her that she woke up with her heart racing and the damp sheets in a wad at the foot of her bed. She sat up with a hand to her chest and tried to think her way to calmness, but she couldn’t seem to break the hold the fear had on her psyche. It took several minutes for her to realize there was a breeze wafting through the cabin.
That was strange. She had been dead tired when she’d lain down, but she didn’t remember opening any windows. She got up and wandered into the other room in the dark and was even more fearful when she realized the cabin door was standing wide open. As she went to close it, she tripped over something on the floor in front of it and she screamed as it moved.
Whatever it was gave a low whine and she realized it was one of the dogs that had come in and was sleeping curled up just inside her door. She reached down to pet him and found that he was actually a comfort to her in her fear and she decided to leave him inside with her. She
closed the door with a slam and threw the dead bolt and willed her heart to slow as she leaned down to pat the dog again. “Sorry I stepped on you, Pilgrim. You scared the tar out of me though.”
She went back to bed and laid there trying to calm down and get back to sleep, but it wasn’t working. Tonight the cabin that had been filled with such a sense of peace from that very first moment seemed to be fraught with a sense of urgent foreboding. She tried to tell herself it was only a bad dream, but the fear persisted. She prayed fervently for a sense of peace and when the feeling got even worse as she said amen, she followed what felt like a prompting and got up. She grabbed the pillow and quilt off of her bed, called the dog to come with her and headed out the door at a jog toward Fo’s bunkhouse. At the door she paused feeling foolish and then felt that urgency again. She quietly opened the door and she and the dog slipped inside and she locked the door behind her.
It took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the dark, and then she crept to the cowhide couch and sank onto it gratefully. Instantly, she felt the reassurance that she was safe. She still felt slightly foolish, but she put a hand on the dogs head and the fear dissipated in moment. She was able to close her still weary eyes and finally go back to sleep.
Chapter 10
At first light, Luke was up and although he was still tired from the jet lag, he headed for the shower, knowing it would help him to beat the fatigue and wake up. He was clear into the bathroom when he did a double take and backed up to look over at the couch. He ran a hand across his tired eyes, but he wasn’t seeing things. That really was Charlie’s blonde tousled curls he was seeing lying there in a wadded quilt with a dog beside her. He stood there and looked at her for a minute, wondering what was up with this. If he hadn’t known she was even more tired than he was he would have woken her up and asked what was going on.
He continued on to the shower and as the steamy water pelted him awake, he thought about the girl lying in there. She had gotten to him in a way that was both wonderful and terrible. Being with her made everything in his life brighter and more vibrant, but knowing she would be leaving in a few weeks was like pulling the plug on the energy in his life. His head told him he needed to keep his distance, but when he’d tried after wanting to kiss her on the beach yesterday it had been awful.
Not only had he felt lonely and discouraged, but he knew his sudden change of attitude toward her had left her wondering what she’d done wrong. She’d cried as they boarded the plane, and he knew she hadn’t slept on the whole flight home. He’d been able to cat nap, but every time he’d looked over at her she’d been staring out the window into the darkness, wide awake. Still, it was foolish to fall any deeper. Wasn’t it? And it wasn’t only him. He knew she wasn’t indifferent to him. He’d seen the blue fire in her eyes on the ferry.
That was what scared him the most actually. She would be hurt as well when she left. And her life had enough struggle to it. The last thing she needed was something else pulling on her. Especially another something who had the baggage he had. It wasn’t as if he was ever going to be able to marry someday and be a carefree newlywed. He had the ranch to run and a whole passel of little brothers and sisters he helped to raise. Heck he even had an older brother he helped to raise. Sometimes Chase was the biggest baggage of all. He certainly had been in Lindie’s case.
Still, it would have been so nice to let himself fall in love with Charlie. For just a second he let himself day dream that she’d be willing to forego the whole law school issue and stay with him here in Montana forever. He could see that so easily. He could see her growing old beside him, keeping him entertained and organized. He could see that in a second.
With a long sigh, he turned off the water and toweled off. He shouldn’t let his mind wander like that. It was only torturing himself. She had to go and he knew that he couldn’t even ask her not to. If it was bad enough that she felt she needed to actually go through with this law school thing then he needed to leave her alone. She wasn’t a spineless person. She must truly need to do this.
On the way back out of the shower he paused to look down at her again. She was really, really beautiful. Even in her sleep she truly did seem edible. He heard Fo come up behind him and take the same double take he had. He followed Luke back to his bunk where she wouldn’t be able to hear them and whispered, “What’s she doing here?”
Luke shrugged. “You’ve got me. I got up and went to shower and found her there, just like you. I didn’t even hear her come in. What time did you get in last night?”
“Midnight. Twelve thirty. Somewhere in there. She wasn’t there when I came to bed. Did she bring the dog in?”
“The dog and her quilt and pillow. Does she show up like this often at your apartment?”
Fo looked up at him in disgust. “Of course not. Something is wrong. She wouldn’t just show up here in the middle of the night for no reason.”
Luke had already suspected that, but he’d been hoping he was mistaken. After giving Fo a long look, he asked the question that had been bothering him since he’d first found her there. In the lowest voice Fo could hear, he asked, “Is Tyree still in jail?”
Fo looked up at him in surprise and he could see the thought get through to him. He shook his head and whispered back, “I assumed so, but I don’t know. I hadn’t even considered they’d have to let him out on bail and that he’d come back.”
Luke glanced over at her and then asked, “On your way into work would you call and find out? You can do it more unobtrusively than I can. Then let me know what you find. In the mean time, I’m going to go up and look around her house. If she wakes up, keep her here. If he’s still in jail, I don’t want to scare her unnecessarily. She doesn’t need to know I’m looking around.”
As Luke went to turn and go out the door, Fo asked quietly, “What’s up with you two anyway? Why were you not speaking on the trip home?”
Luke considered this and wondered what to tell him, knowing that Fo was her best friend as well as his. Finally, he shook his head and said sadly, “I just like her way too much is all. I don’t want to make her miserable. Her mom did enough of that.”
Fo’s brow creased and he asked, perplexed, “I don’t get it. You don’t want to make her miserable, so you stop speaking to her? You saw how that worked. She cried half the way home. I thought you two had had a big fight or something out at the coast. No?”
Shaking his head, Luke admitted, “She was amazing at the coast. Too amazing. I couldn’t even breathe when her shirt got wet.” He sounded as guilty as he’d felt and he looked away. “Twice this trip I wanted to kiss her.” He shook his head again and reached for his chaps and began to buckle them on. “She’s leaving for her stupid law school, remember?”
Fo nodded, still not looking as if he understood very well and Luke continued. ‘Remind me about that the next time you see me looking a little dazed would you. It’s hard to think with no oxygen and I don’t want to hurt her. Or me. She’s way too nice a girl to toy with.”
“What do you mean toy with? You’re not like that.”
“What else would you call it when we both know she’s leaving in a few weeks?”
“It’s not as if she wants to go to law school, Luke. She hates the whole idea.”
Luke shook his head. “She plans to go, Fo. That’s the bottom line. You and I both know she’s made the decision.”
“Well, maybe she’d change her mind, if she had a good enough alternative. Why don’t you offer her one?”
“What? So she can hang around here while I work sixteen hour days? In her spare time she can raise my little brother and sisters? And dodge my older one? Oh, that’s a great life. I’m sure she’d choose that alternative.”
He picked up his rope and gloves and turned to leave and Fo forgot to whisper when he said, “You’re a jerk, Luke. She’s twenty three years old. She has the right to make her own choices.”
Luke looked over to where her silky hair still lay against her quilt. “She has. Sh
e’s chosen law school. And you know what? She’ll be a great lawyer. Just like she’s great at everything else.” He stared at the locked deadbolt on the bunkhouse door with a frown and then said over his shoulder to Fo. “I’m going up to her house.”
As he walked up to her cabin, he felt as if he’d turned up the vacuum on his energy leak to high. Talking to Fo about how hopeless falling in love with her was, made it all hurt even worse. Or maybe it was seeing her there asleep. He’d wanted to stop and sit down and touch her. At any rate, the attraction was stronger than ever and that computed into discouragement that stung.
Everything at her house seemed normal. She hadn’t locked the door when she’d fled and he let himself in and poked around, but nothing seemed out of place. Her house smelled like her and he breathed in deeply, wishing that even smells didn’t evoke attraction.
He went back outside and walked around the little house but the grass had been mowed recently and there was nothing to indicate what had scared her. Outside her bedroom window he noticed the blinds didn’t completely cover the opening. There was only a small strip at the edge exposed, but he resolved to discretely change out the blinds anyway. He wouldn’t put it past Tyree to come sneaking back and spy on her.
Climbing into his truck, he went to pull out just as she emerged from the bunkhouse door with her pillow and quilt in her hands and the dog standing beside her in the doorway. He looked up and their eyes met. He desperately wanted to get back out and go talk to her and find out what was going on and if she was okay. But there was this little nagging voice in his head that said that was only another excuse to be with her, which was foolish and likely to hurt them both in the long run.
He hesitated for a moment and then nodded and put the truck in reverse and backed out; hating himself for the way her face fell when she understood he wasn’t even going to say good morning. As he drove away, he tried to tell himself that was kinder than the alternative, but somehow his heart didn’t truly believe it.
The Outer Edge of Heaven Page 15